by Jaye McKenna
Cam leaned on the snow shovel and eyed the path he’d dug from the lodge to the flyer. It ought to be wide enough for the lift-sled. He hoped it was, anyway, because his back and shoulders were screaming for a rest, and he was soaked with sweat under the layers of winter clothing necessary to protect him from the bitter wind. Add to that the exhaustion dragging at him from three nights of broken sleep, and he was about done.
Eleni had recognized Draven immediately, as he’d guessed she would. She’d been there the night he’d been taken into FedSec custody with a bullet in his gut, had saved his life so he could be questioned. And then Miko had arranged for him to be set free before any answers could be dragged out of him.
She hadn’t said a word to Cam, but her anger was a low, simmering burn that reached him on a level far deeper than any shielding pattern could shut out.
He straightened up, wincing at the ache in his back. He might be sore tomorrow, but at least there would be a comfortable bed to sleep in tonight, and something better than a meal-pak for dinner. The thought cheered him as he trudged back down the path to the lodge. The snow shovel went on its hook next to the wood pile, and Cam went back inside, stamping the snow from his boots on the mat.
Draven looked worse than when Cam had left him. If Cam hadn’t seen the slight rise and fall of his chest, he’d have been hard-pressed to believe Draven was still alive. The riptide had certainly taken its toll, and the dim, yellow glow of the camping lantern had hidden much of the damage. Under the harsh white light of the small surgical lamp Eleni had brought, Draven looked as if his skin was stretched too tightly over his bones. Dark circles ringed his eyes, and the fall of thick, black hair lying across his forehead was a stark contrast to the sallow skin it covered.
Eleni had pulled a chair up next to the bed, and held one palm barely a centimeter above Draven’s chest. Her eyes had that distant look that meant she was studying him with her healer’s sight, seeing things deep inside his body without the benefit of any technology.
There was no sign of the knife wound, not even the faintest scar to show where the blade had penetrated.
“Nice job on the knife wound,” Cam said. “How is he?”
Eleni drew her hand back and glanced up at him. “Lucky to be alive.” Her tone was clipped and brusque. “The tissue damage from the wound was the least of it. The infection’s everywhere, and I don’t know if he’s got the resources to fight it. His kidneys are seriously stressed, his liver isn’t much better, and he’s in the final stages of riptide addiction.”
“Can you help him?”
Eleni rose and faced him, crossing her arms over her chest. “Can you give me one single reason why I should?”
“He’s a witness to—”
“Witness, my ass. The man is a criminal, regardless of what FedSec thinks he knows. You want me to spend the next few days busting my ass to save his life so he can cut a deal and walk free?” She shook her head, auburn ponytail swinging behind her. “Let him go.”
Cam’s blood ran cold. “What about your oath? Do no harm. Isn’t that what you swore?”
Eleni huffed out an annoyed snort. “Even if he survives the infection — which I can’t guarantee, since riptide abuse has pretty much shot his immune system to hell — we still have to get him through withdrawal. Right now, treating him has as much chance of killing him as not treating him. Even odds, and they’re not great either way.”
“He saved my life. And Miko’s.”
“That doesn’t exactly exonerate him, Cam. He’s hurt people. Our people. Our family.”
“I know what he’s done, and I know what he’s capable of. I’m not suggesting we bring him back to the campus, but his psi is damaged enough that he can’t shield. A hospital will kill him as surely as the infection will.”
A tense, frigid silence stretched between them, and finally, Cam sighed. “If you feel that strongly about it, then leave me whatever supplies you’ve got in the flyer, and I’ll stay out here with him until it’s over. Nobody deserves to die alone and in pain. Not even him.”
Dark eyes searched his face for a long, long time before Eleni sighed. “I’ll try. No guarantees and no promises. I’ll do what I can for him, but like I said, the odds are shitty. If he wants to live badly enough, then he might pull through this. If not…” She trailed off, shrugging.
Some of the tension drained out of him, and Cam closed his eyes briefly. “Thank you, Lini. I owe you.”
“Yes, you do, and I’ll be collecting tomorrow. I’ll get him set up at the island cabin, and I’ll stay with him through the next twenty-four hours. After that, it’ll be your turn. I have to sleep sometime.”
“That’s fair,” he said, willing to agree to whatever terms she wanted. “I can work from the cabin just as easily as I can from the office.”
“Let me get an IV started before we move him. I want to get him on antibiotics right away. If we don’t get the infection under control, none of the rest of it matters.” She pulled her coat on and headed for the door, but stopped at the last minute and turned to face him. “I hope to God you know what you’re doing, Cam.”
He waited until the door closed behind her before whispering, “So do I.”
* * *
Miko dove deep into the mythe, seeking peace, seeking escape from Rafe and the terrible, empty pain he’d brought with him. The shifting layers parted around him, and he sent a pleading cry into the depths.
There was no response, and when he finally made his way to the clearing in Ashna’s forest, he huddled under the trees, determined to stay there until one of them came.
But neither of them did.
A sense-memory of cinnamon, roses, and ice drifted through his mythe-shadow, caressing and soothing.
Aio.
He tasted tears in her mythe-shadow, but she didn’t come to him. Wouldn’t talk to him.
Which meant he was on his own.
With a sigh, Miko let go, let himself drift back to his body in the human world.
“Miko?”
The voice came from the outside world, reaching him through the layers of the mythe. Miko struggled the rest of the way to the surface. He hadn’t gone so deep in a long time, hadn’t felt the need, and it took a while for him to shake off the sense of disorientation.
When he was finally able to focus on his physical body, he found himself curled up on the couch in his living room. A blanket had been draped over him, and Kyn was sitting close by, keeping watch over him.
At least this time he hadn’t been gone long enough for them to drag him down to the infirmary.
He shifted, stretching stiff limbs.
“Hey. You okay?” Kyn asked.
Miko rubbed his eyes and sat up slowly, pulling his hands free from beneath the blanket. I don’t know, he signed.
If Kyn was surprised that he didn’t use the voice synth, it didn’t show on his face. He reached out slowly to squeeze Miko’s shoulder. “Luka told me what happened. I met Rafe. Talked to him. It’s… downright eerie, looking at him. I can’t even imagine how much of a shock that must have been for you.”
He says he’s my brother.
“Yeah.” Kyn sounded tired. “Once he was done demanding to see you, he told me. What did your dragons have to say about him?”
They wouldn’t talk to me. I’m sorry, Kyn. I didn’t mean for you to get dragged into this. You have enough to worry about.
“And you’re more important than any of it,” Kyn told him.
How long had Kyn been sitting here with him? Miko glanced at the clock. It was after dinnertime. He’d been gone for hours, but it hadn’t done any good.
Aio had known he was hurting. He’d tasted her tears, and though she might weep for him, she wouldn’t help him. This was a human thing, and the dragons only involved themselves in human things if they threatened the mythe itself.
Miko had thought he was doing so well, learning to navigate the human world. Ever since Tarrin
had woken the human emotions buried deep inside of Miko, he’d found it easier to interact with people, easier to understand them.
But now a man who claimed to be his brother had shown up, and Miko was adrift and confused once more. He had no idea how to feel about Rafe, who represented a facet of himself Miko couldn’t access, a past he didn’t want or need to remember.
He lifted his eyes to meet Kyn’s, and simultaneously raised his hands to sign, I wish Tarrin was here.
“So do I.” Kyn offered him a small smile. “Is there anything I can do?”
Miko hesitated, torn between curiosity and caution. He sucked his lower lip in and signed, What did he say to you?
“Not a lot. Said he grew up in the Colonial Alliance and that you and he are twins. He wasn’t clear on exactly what kind of facility it was he grew up in, but he said when he was six, they took you away, and sometime later, they told him you died. He said he believed it until he met someone who seemed to recognize him.”
Miko shivered. He could have met Draven on Aion, he signed. They were both working at the Lyra Research Center when Nick was there. But… Draven would never have told anyone where to find me.
“Who else could have told him?”
I don’t know. Maybe he wasn’t looking for me at all. Maybe it’s just a coincidence. He’s on Romani Industries’ payroll… he could be looking for Nick. Miko dared not voice the other possibility that had occurred to him. Dared not even hint that Rafe might be hunting Draven, that Draven was here on Aurora, and that Cameron was with him. There were too many people here who wouldn’t be happy about that.
“He’s not on their payroll anymore,” Kyn said. “He says he’s looking to disappear. From Alan Romani in particular. He offered to trade information for protection.”
Where is he now?
Kyn ran a hand through honey-blond hair. “I put him in one of the guest suites over in the Admin building. I didn’t want him running around loose in the residence area until I’d talked to Cam about him. He’s pretty adamant about seeing you, though. I wouldn’t put it past him to find his way here.”
I don’t know if I want to see him, Miko signed. He knows things. From the Before Time.
“Yes.” Kyn’s pale blue eyes were fixed expectantly on his as he waited for Miko to decide what he wanted to do.
Miko struggled to put it into words, but the web of emotions that trapped him was so tangled, he couldn’t decide what he was feeling. Sometimes he wished he could go back to being that cool, remote creature he’d been before Tarrin had broken down his protective walls and swept into his heart. Back then, no one touched him deeply enough for him to care what happened to them.
Most of the time, the warmth he’d found in Tarrin’s arms and the bonds of friendship he’d formed with the people around him were a source of joy. But accepting human emotions into his life had opened him up to pain, too, when the people he cared for were hurting.
Love, he’d learned, could be just as painful as hate.
Miko swallowed past the lump in his throat. His chest felt tight, and he couldn’t stop shaking. It took a concerted effort to hold his hands steady enough to sign. He could change things.
“Yes.” Kyn’s expression softened. “Change can be hard. Even if it turns out to be a good change.”
His mythe-shadow hurts me. It cries and it bleeds and I can’t shut it out. A tear slipped down his cheek, and Miko hugged himself tightly before signing, It would be easier to hide. Less painful.
Kyn reached out and brushed the tear away with his thumb. “I spent three years hiding from Pat. I thought at the time it was the right thing to do. It wasn’t. It was just the easiest thing, and I’d convinced myself it was right.”
What if he makes everything worse?
“That’s a risk you’ll have to consider when you decide what to do, isn’t it?”
Miko stared down at his hands. If Rafe really was his brother, then he was family. Cameron and Tarrin had both taught Miko the importance of family, of having people you could count on, no matter what. Had Rafe ever had that? What if he’d had it with Miko, but Miko couldn’t remember any of it? What if he’d been lonely and hurting ever since they’d been separated? Miko knew what it was to be alone and in pain, but he’d been lucky enough to find people who had helped him heal. Now, he had a family, and had even found love.
What if Rafe had none of that?
Miko thought back to the dark, desperate years when he’d belonged to DeMira. Had Rafe lived through something like that?
Alone?
Without looking at Kyn, Miko signed, Can I see him?
“Now?”
Miko hesitated for a few moments before swallowing hard and signing, Now. Before I think too hard. Before I change my mind.
Kyn gave him an unreadable look as he got to his feet. “All right. But we hit the dining room first. I want you to eat something. And I’m staying with you while you talk to him.”
Miko frowned. Why?
“Because I don’t trust him. He has to earn that, and you’re too important to me to risk.”
He wasn’t sure if he should be flattered or annoyed, but either way, Kyn had that grim, stubborn look, with the thin, fake smile and the fierce, narrowed eyes that said he wouldn’t be swayed.
Miko nodded his agreement. Kyn was right; neither of them knew enough about Rafe to be certain he meant no harm.
With growing trepidation, Miko tucked his slate and a portable voice-synth unit under his arm and followed Kyn out of his apartment.
* * *
As they made their way across the glass-domed greenhouse to Admin and Education, Kyn kept giving Miko sidelong looks, as if he wasn’t certain he was doing the right thing.
Miko kept his mythe-shadow wrapped tightly about himself, not wanting to feel the oily darkness pouring off of Rafe and poisoning the mythe. It didn’t help. The moment his attention wandered, his mythe-shadow sent out tendrils of awareness in Rafe’s direction. Miko shuddered, simultaneously attracted and repelled.
By the time they reached the guest suites, which were located near the Institute’s public entrance, he was so tense, he was shaking. Kyn knocked on Rafe’s door, and Rafe opened it almost immediately, dark eyes widening in surprise. “Miko. Are… are you okay?”
With the voice-synth unit tucked under his arm, Miko couldn’t sign. He glanced at Kyn for help.
“Miko’s got a voice-synth unit with him,” Kyn said. “If we could go sit down, he can get it set up and you two can talk.”
Rafe stepped aside to let them in. His eyes never left Miko, and Miko found the scrutiny unnerving. He spent far more time than was necessary setting the voice-synth unit on the coffee table and fiddling with it. All the while, he was studying Rafe from beneath lowered lashes. Even with his mythe-shadow drawn in close, Miko felt the cold, bleak emptiness consuming Rafe, the devastating sense of grief and loss bleeding out into the mythe.
Had Rafe lived with that his whole life?
When Miko had everything set up, he nodded to Kyn, who retreated as far as the door, but didn’t leave.
Rafe glanced from Miko to Kyn and back again. “He your bodyguard or something?”
Miko adjusted the voice synth to the pleasant tenor he used when he was making an effort not to alienate people. He made a show of pulling out the keyboard and pretending to type the words he wanted to say. “Something like that.”
“Is he staying?”
“I’d like him to. For now.”
Rafe perched on the arm of a chair, his expression giving away nothing. His mythe-shadow, too, was closed to Miko, the colors of his emotions smothered by the suffocating, oily darkness.
“I’m sorry if I scared you,” Miko said. “At the hotel. You surprised me.”
“Yeah. You surprised me, too. I wasn’t expecting to find you here. I thought… I thought you were dead for the longest time. When I found out you might be alive, I thought if I could just find you, then everything would be… would go back
to… to how it was, but… but you don’t know me at all. Do you?”
“No.” Miko said. “I don’t… I don’t remember you.”
Rafe leaned forward a little, dark eyes searching Miko’s face. “Can you tell me what happened to you?”
“I will, but… we should start from the beginning. Tell me what you remember about me. About us.”
“Our minds were always linked,” Rafe said. “As far back as I can remember, I could feel you with me, even if we weren’t in the same room. We could talk to each other just by thinking, and we… we did everything together, even dreamed. You were part of me and I was part of you. Sometimes it was hard to know where I ended and you began.”
Miko shook his head. Surely if he’d been that close to someone, that tangled with them, he’d remember it. Or if not, at least see some kind of evidence of it in the mythe.
But there was nothing. Not even a sense of something missing.
“We were six when they took you away,” Rafe continued. “For a test, they said, but you never came back. I didn’t find out what had really happened until Romani got the records when he bought me.”
“Bought you? You were a slave?”
“We both were. We were born in a slave complex in the Alliance. They sold me cheap because I was broken. Half of what was supposed to be a whole. We were an experiment. Part of some psion breeding project. Romani said they were trying to create psions with linked minds. They wanted to see if the link could survive jump, so they put you on a ship and left me behind. They told me you died, but I already knew it. I felt the link break.” Rafe stared down at his hands. “It broke me, deep inside. It still hurts. All the fucking time. It’s just… cold and black where you used to be.”
Miko didn’t know what to say. He’d never felt anything like what Rafe was describing.
“So what the hell happened to you?” Rafe asked in a low voice. “You’re not dead, but you’re not the same, either. Your hair. Your eyes. Something tells me that’s not a dye job and lenses.”
Miko had never said it in words before. He preferred not to talk about it, and when he had to tell it, he put the news clip up on the vid-screen in his office and let them watch. But if Rafe was really his brother, maybe he deserved more than just a vid-clip.