by Jaye McKenna
The walls in here weren’t as dirty as the ones in the hallway. Someone had started painting them a bright, cheerful yellow, but had given up partway through the job.
Cam was half in the closet, tossing clothing onto the growing pile.
“Cam,” Draven said again.
“What?” Cam backed out of the closet, a frown on his face. Dark eyes flicked up and fixed on Draven, maybe only now registering his presence. “What are you doing here?”
“Came to find you.”
“I’m not the one who’s lost. Eleni is.” Cam pushed past Draven and went out into the hallway. Draven followed him into another room, identical to the one he’d just come from, right down to the half-finished paint job.
“Eleni’s not lost,” Draven said. “She’s safe. And so are you.”
“Doesn’t matter about me,” Cam muttered, heading for the closet. “Eleni, though. She’s hurting. I felt it.”
Draven waited while he tossed out the contents of the closet. When he backed out again, Draven took hold of him by the shoulders. “Cam, look at me. You’re not in custody anymore. We got you out. You and Eleni.”
Cam blinked. “She… she was screaming. I couldn’t…” Tears filled Cam’s eyes, and he dropped his head. “My fault. They used her to try to break me… I couldn’t stop them. I couldn’t keep her safe.”
“She is safe. Come back with me, and I’ll show you.”
“No. I… I can’t. I don’t want to hear her screaming. It… it tears me apart.”
Draven wrapped his arms around him, pulled him close, and pressed his forehead against Cam’s. “Listen to me. She’s not screaming. She’s worried about you. You didn’t fail. You did everything you could for her. You kept her alive, and you took care of her. She’s alive right now because of you, and she’s waiting for you out there. She half killed herself fixing me up so I could come in here and find you.”
Cam squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “I don’t… I can’t. I keep hearing her screams.” He rested his head on Draven’s shoulder, body shuddering with silent sobs.
“Will you trust me? Come with me and see?”
Cam didn’t answer. He pulled away from Draven and went back into the hall. Draven found him in yet another half-painted bedroom, digging through another closet.
“Cam, she isn’t here.”
No response.
At a loss, Draven struggled to find the words that might reach him. When Cam finally emerged from the closet, Draven moved to stand in front of him. “Cam… please. People are counting on you. Your people need you. All those psions you promised to lead to safety. You’re their strength. They need you. Eleni needs you.” He swallowed hard. “I need you.”
When there was still no response, Draven whispered, “Fine. If it’s not enough to hear it, I’ll show you.” And before Cam could react, Draven dropped his defenses, and brought the memory of the rescue operation to the forefront of his mind.
He sensed Cam’s interest, and a moment later, Cam’s mind slid into his own, smooth as silk. He knew the exact moment Cam touched the memory of Draven waking up with Eleni at his bedside, because the cruel tension in Cam’s body suddenly eased, and he drew back slowly, withdrawing his mind at the same time.
“She’s safe,” he breathed.
“Yes. She’s on the Wanderlust, waiting for me to pull you out of this place. She’s not going to be happy with me if I leave you here.”
“Eleni’s safe,” Cam whispered again.
“Yes. Eleni is safe.”
“And you… you came to get us.”
“I had help. Pat and Luka and Alek were there, too. And Miko.”
“But… but you came.” Cam looked as if he was trying to solve a puzzle. “Why would you do that?”
“Because someone brought it to my attention that FedSec had taken something I wanted.”
Cam froze. “What… what did they have that you wanted?”
“You.”
Dark eyes stared into his own, and Draven sensed Cam’s longing and loneliness as a hollow ache, deep in his bones.
“I’m not a good man, Cameron,” Draven said softly. “I didn’t come here out of the goodness of my heart. I didn’t come here for those people on that ship or for your sister, even if I do owe her my life three times over. I came here because I’m a selfish bastard and I don’t think I can stand living in a world that doesn’t have you in it. So you are coming back with me, damn it. And if you’re scared of what’s out there, well guess what? So am I. I feel like I’m stepping off a goddamn cliff. But I want you in my life, Asada, and you don’t get to take yourself out of it. Not if I have anything to say about it.”
A frozen silence stretched between them, Cam perhaps processing what he’d said, and Draven wondering if he’d just blown it all apart by trying to put it into words.
“You… you mean that?”
Draven nodded. “No idea what that life would look like or how it would work. But I think I’d like to find out.”
The ghost of a smile curved Cam’s lips. “Is this your way of telling me you’re coming with us?”
“My way of telling you you’re stuck with me, whether you want me or not.”
“I… think I do want you,” Cam whispered.
Draven held out his hand. “Then let’s get the hell out of here.”
Cam put his hand in Draven’s and they stepped out of the room together. The moment they went through the door, the hallway around them fractured and Draven found himself falling down into darkness.
The impact with the ground was entirely mental, but his body jerked with the shock of it, and his eyes snapped open. Hands squeezed his shoulders, and Draven looked about wildly for a moment, trying to determine where he was.
Wanderlust. He was in Cam’s room in the infirmary, his hand still wrapped around Cam’s.
“Easy, man. Easy. You’re okay.” Draven recognized the voice, but couldn’t put a name to it. He tilted his head back to see Luka looking down at him, dark brows drawn together in a frown. “Are you okay?”
“I… think so.” He looked over at Cam. Dark eyes met his, and Cam’s hand tightened around his own.
“You been gone for hours,” Luka said. “I don’t know where the hell you were, man, but you felt about as far away as Cam. Thought we were gonna lose both of you.” Luka moved away from Draven to peer at Cam. “You okay, boss-man?”
“Where’s Eleni?” was the first thing out of Cam’s mouth.
“I’ll get her.” Luka moved toward the door. “You two stay put. You both got full medical and psionic workups coming your way. Damon and Eleni will skin me alive if you leave.”
Draven waited until Luka was gone to ask, “Are you all right? Do you know where we are?”
“The Wanderlust,” Cam murmured.
“And who am I?”
Cam smiled. “You’re the one I’m stuck with.”
“Damn right.”
“Thank you for coming after me. I… didn’t even know I was lost. I might have wandered around in there forever.”
“No, you wouldn’t. I wouldn’t have let you.” Draven stared down at their joined hands. “Did you… did you mean what you said in there? About… about wanting me with you?” When he finally dared to meet Cam’s eyes, Cam was still smiling.
“I meant it. Seems like it might be your best chance to make a clean break. Alan Romani and the Sapphire Guild are going to have a hell of a time tracking you down if you’re with us.”
Draven finally returned the smile. “They’ll never guess I’ve headed off into uncharted space with a bunch of crazy colonists.”
“Are you sure about this? Life on a new colony isn’t easy. Ask Kyn. He was second generation, and he says that was hard enough. The place we’re going has only had a cursory survey. We know it can support us, but that’s about all we know.”
“So it’ll be a challenge,” Draven said, squeezing his hand.
“Definitely a challenge. You up to it?”
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Draven smirked. “Are you?”
“I’ll show you what I’m up to,” Cam said, pulling him close and brushing a kiss across his lips.
“All right, that’s enough of that,” Eleni said from the doorway. “No fooling around until I give you both a clean bill of health.”
They drew apart, and Cam sat up, eyes fixed on his sister. “Eleni. I’m so sorry. I never meant for you to be dragged into my mess.”
She gave him a tired smile. “We’re family, Cameron. Your mess is my mess. Now lie back down and let me take a look at you.”
Draven started to get up, but Eleni pushed him back down with a firm hand on his shoulder. “Oh, no. You’re not leaving until I give you permission.”
“Oh?” Draven gave her a flat stare.
“Don’t even think about playing the hard-ass shooter with me, Draven. I know what you did for Alek. You might act all tough and mean, but there’s a sweet, gooey core in there.” She bent down and kissed his cheek.
“Gooey?”
Cam’s lips twitched. “Get used to it. If you’re sticking with me, you have to deal with her.”
He eyed Eleni. “Is that supposed to be a threat? Or some kind of selling point?”
“Both,” Cam and Eleni said in unison.
“Listen to the lady,” Cam added. “She’s got more sense than both of us put together.”
“Glad you’ve finally admitted that,” Eleni said, winking at Draven. “Stands to reason. I am the oldest, after all.”
“By five minutes,” Cam grumbled.
Draven settled back in his seat and listened to Cam and Eleni banter. He thought maybe he could get used to being around people who laughed and teased one another rather than maneuvered and manipulated, who stuck up for each other instead of using one another as stepping stones to get ahead.
He’d seen what family meant to both DeMira and Romani, up close and personal, and he hadn’t liked it at all.
Cam and Eleni’s version, though… that might be worth exploring.
Chapter Thirteen
Cam was surprised at how meekly Draven submitted to Eleni’s exam. She moved from test to test with calm efficiency, as if she knew there was a reason to hurry, but wasn’t going to allow it to interfere with her duty to her patients. When she released them an hour or so later, Kyn was waiting for them.
“Good to have you back, Cam, Draven. Look, I know this is a lot to wake up to, but Anja’s been waiting on an all-hands meeting in the crew lounge. We have a problem, and we need you both there.”
“What kind of problem?” Cam asked.
“We’re being pursued by two Space Fleet destroyers,” Kyn said. “Anja says we have a decision to make, and it’s not one she’s prepared to make by herself.”
Cam started off after Kyn, but stopped when Draven hung back. “Draven? You coming?”
“I… may not be welcome there. You go.”
“Draven,” Kyn said, looking him straight in the eye, “you’re one of us now, whether you like it or not. You gave me back my psi, you helped rescue Cam, and you took a couple of bullets for Alek. And besides all that, you make both Miko and my brother happy. Everyone on the rescue team is with me on this: we’ve got your back.”
Cam sensed Draven’s shock at Kyn’s declaration, and a long silence followed. When Draven finally shook off his surprise, he met Kyn’s eyes and smiled. It was a brief, hesitant smile, but it was a real smile, not the sardonic sneer he often wore. It looked damn good on him, and Cam resolved to do his best to see that Draven had reason to smile more often.
“You have as much right to be here as any of us,” Cam said. “Showing up together in front of everyone lets them know how it’s going to be from the start.” When Draven remained silent, amber eyes unreadable, Cam continued, “When you came to find me, you told me my people needed me. You said I’m their strength. Well, you’re my strength, Draven. You want me in your life? It starts right here, right now.” Cam held out his hand.
Draven stared at that hand, gaze turned inward, as if a fierce debate was going on in his head. Finally, he reached for Cam’s hand and whispered, “All right. Let’s do it.”
There must have been fifty people jammed into the crew lounge. Everyone who wasn’t in cold-sleep was here, including all of the crew who weren’t needed on the bridge. Miko stood up front, near Anja, and Rafe lingered near the back, keeping as much distance as possible between himself and Miko. From the strained expression on Miko’s face, it wasn’t nearly far enough, and from the concern emanating from Rafe, he was well aware of it.
No one seemed bothered by Draven’s presence, and in fact, a number of people he’d never met came forward to thank him for his part in the rescue operation. Cam sensed Draven’s surprise and the easing of his tension as they moved through the room. Kyn led them to one of the tables near the back, where all the members of the McKinnon family who weren’t in cold-sleep were sitting.
Anja stood before the assembly beside the vid-screen. Her short blonde hair was sticking up at all angles, as if she’d been running her fingers through it frequently, and her hazel eyes were bloodshot and shadowed.
She and Draven locked eyes, and Cam felt Draven’s hand tighten around his own.
Anja’s expression was grim as she dragged her gaze from Draven to Cam and nodded. “Welcome back, Cam. Sorry to haul you out of bed like this, but we’ve got a decision to make.”
“I’m fine,” Cam said. “Go ahead and lay it out for us.”
She turned to address the entire room. “Shortly after our rescue team returned from the surface, we left Aurora Station. That was the night before last. Our surface operation caused a bit of a stir, and once FedSec realized our people had escaped in the shuttle, they notified Space Fleet. Miko managed to keep the Space Fleet AI occupied, delaying their ability to respond and buying us enough time to get some distance. Unfortunately, this is a freighter, and we’re fully loaded. The time it will take for us to reach insertion velocity is measured in days, not hours.
“We currently have two Space Fleet destroyers in pursuit. They hailed us twenty minutes ago and ordered us to turn around and head back to Aurora Station. They’ve given us two hours to respond.”
“Or what?” Cam asked.
“They’ll open fire,” Anja said. “We have shields, but they’re designed for deflecting small asteroids and space junk. They won’t stand up to a sustained barrage of military ordnance.”
Cam felt sick, thinking of the people sleeping in the cargo hold, trusting him to see them safely to their new home. “What are our options?”
“From where I’m sitting, I see three choices,” Anja said. “One, we surrender. If we do that, I’m guessing everyone who took part in the raid on Central Processing will be taken into custody, along with me and Miko. Any psions in the bunch will likely be detained and either mind-wiped or forced to take Ravanifen.”
“No way,” Luka said. “None of us would be here if we were okay with them drugging us.”
From around the room came a chorus of agreement.
“Right,” Anja said grimly. “That’s what I thought you’d say. Just wanted to throw it on the table, because it is an option, and given the other choices, it’s our best bet if our goal is to preserve as many lives as possible.”
“What else have you got?” Cam asked.
“Option two is that we don’t answer their hail. We fight them with everything we have, which isn’t much. They’ll shoot to cripple the ship, and we will be boarded. They will have superior numbers, superior weapons, and their boarding troops will be armored. If they miscalculate and hit something critical, we could be dead before they get around to boarding. If we lose power, or if the hull in the cargo bay is breached, the cryo-units will not survive. For the rest of us, the end result will be the same as surrender, except the criminal charges will be more severe.”
From the unhappy murmurings and shaking of heads, no one was happy with that option, either.
“All
right.” Anja shook her head, a grim smile curving her lips. “I guessed you’d say that, too. The third option is to jump early. You all know what that means. A jump this close to a gravity well at this velocity is a crapshoot. The nav calculations will be so skewed, there’s no way to tell where we’ll end up.”
Complete silence blanketed the room. She had their attention, for certain.
“Make no mistake, people: jumping early could very well be mass suicide. We could end up lost in uncharted space nowhere near an habitable world, and so far away that we can’t get back. We could end up in the heart of a star. Or we could exit jump space not very far from where we start and still end up in FedSec custody. However it plays out, it’s unlikely that any of us will see anyone who isn’t on this ship again.”
“There’s also a chance that we could end up right where we hope to,” Rhys said.
“A slim chance,” Anja conceded. “Not enough of a chance to get excited about. It’s rare for a ship to be lost, and rarer still for it to reappear. I can’t even give you the odds. Are there any questions?”
There were none.
“Then I leave the decision in your hands. Think about it. Talk it out among yourselves. And remember, whatever decision we make, we’re not just making it for ourselves, but for our friends and families sleeping in the cargo hold. We’ll take a vote in half an hour. That will give us enough time before the deadline to get everyone tranked down if we choose to jump blind.”
Anja stepped away from the vid-screen and took a seat at the table where her father and brothers were sitting. She dragged a hand through her hair again, the burden of command clearly weighing as heavily on her as Cam’s responsibilities weighed on him.
As if reading his thoughts, she said softly, “It’s times like these I hate being the captain.”
“Can’t think of anyone else I’d rather have at the helm, lass,” Angus said, and the rest of the family nodded their agreement.
“Grace under pressure, Anja,” Cam said. “Been there too many times to count. You did a fine job coordinating the rescue mission, and you’re doing fine now.”