by Anne Brear
She flicked her tongue out to taste along his top lip. Urgency filled her and it was too powerful to resist. “Stay. I beg you.”
“This will change everything.”
“Only for the better. I will be yours and you will be mine. How can that be wrong?” Aurora slipped her hands beneath his coat and ran them down his stomach, tugging at his shirt as they went. A pulsing need throbbed in her loins, surprising her by its force.
As if he could take no more, Reid made a noise in the back of his throat as he shrugged off his coat to lay it on the grass. Aurora laid down into its warmth, for the night air was cool, and held out her arms for Reid to join her.
He lay alongside her and gathered her into his arms. He kissed her thoroughly, the needs of his body overthrowing his commonsense words. She had won this battle over Julia. Reid would be hers and his mother wouldn’t be able to do a thing about it.
When Reid drew up the hem of her nightdress, all thoughts of his mother dispersed like water on sand. His hand found the top of her drawers and untied the string while he kissed her neck. His breathing grew heavy, matching her own. It was like she had a fever tearing through her body and it consumed her, hot and needy, dulling her mind, but sharpening her senses. Her touch, taste and smell were magnified, focused only on his body. She was helpless against it.
She raked off his shirt, hearing the fine material tear. The sight and touch of his naked chest in the moonlight sent her mind spinning. Drawing her fingernails down his spine to his buttocks, she heard his harsh intake of breath and gloried in the power she held.
The cold air touched the delicate skin of her inner thighs as Reid pulled off her drawers, exposing her to his gaze. In the darkness she couldn’t see his expression, but when he touched her most secret of places, he was light and gentle. She shivered in anticipation.
“Are you completely sure, Aurora?” he whispered on a ragged breath.
“Absolutely.” And she was. Her doubts had flown the minute he returned her first kiss. She loved this man. Wanted this man. And tonight she would become his woman, his wife in all but name.
Chapter Four
How did she do it? Day after day, since that magical night in the woods, Aurora had pretended to be her normal self, but nothing was normal anymore. Reid returned to London four weeks ago and since then she had received only two letters from him, a brief note when he arrived at his family’s townhouse in Kensington and another short letter four days after that. She’d written twice a week and received no reply. Where were his affirmations of love now?
Frustrated, she sat on the grass, leaning her back against the warm stone wall surrounding one of the Sinclair fields. Newborn lambs bleated and skipped about their mothers, their tails nearly wagging off when they took milk. How tranquil the scene, the countryside basking in late May sunshine. Wildflowers of heartsease, daisies and red campion swayed in the slight breeze, while the pink flowers of the clover carpeted the ground. Blackbirds, thrush and chaffinches flew idly from tree to tree, busy with their chicks. In her heartache none of it soothed her. The pride she felt over her beautiful home, her land, her people, paled into insignificance against the sting of rejection she carried.
Reid wasn’t callous. Surely he wouldn’t use her and then disregard her? But then she had acted so wantonly he must doubt the respect he once held for her. She’d given him her body. She had lain on the grass with him like a common strumpet. Only it hadn’t been that base. She had surrendered her whole self to him, her body, heart and mind. Offering him her love was a gift, a promise of what their future held. Had she been wrong to do it?
Of course she had! She had been stupid.
Perhaps what she had given wasn’t enough. Or had it been too much? Should she have tempted him, but withheld the prize of her virtue? No. She shook her head, knowing that wouldn’t have worked either.
She scratched her arm where a fly bothered her and tried to be mature and worldly about it all. Reid was his own man. If he wanted to write to her, he would. If he wanted to abandon her, he would. He did only what he pleased. However, Mrs Sinclair and her scheming was at the back of her mind. Would Reid listen to his mother, bend to her wishes? Anger curled inside Aurora, hot and painful.
One letter. One letter full of love and promises was all it would take to ease the ache. She felt so lonely without him. This was worse than when he was in America for seven months. One letter from him would banish the demons preying on her mind. His life couldn’t be so full of activity that he couldn’t spare five minutes to write a few lines. He must know how she’d be waiting to hear from him. Her fist clenched at the grass, tearing it from the soil, staining her fingers green. She wanted to slap him for abandoning her, for not speaking to her father, for not being here now!
An anguished cry escaped her before she could stop it. A sudden sound from the other side of the wall made her jolt upright and hurriedly smoothed down her fawn skirt.
“Well there.” Tom leaned over the wall to grin down at her. “Miss Pettigrew.” He nimbly climbed over the stones and jumped down beside her.
“Good morning, Tom.” Her heart skidded in her chest. A Sinclair. Were they all home? Was Reid with him? “How are you?”
“Fit, as you see. I can tell you are well.” He rested back and turned his face up to the sun and closed his eyes. “What a beautiful day.”
“Yes, I agree.” She glanced sideways at him. “When did you arrive home?”
“Last night.”
“The whole family?”
He opened one eye and peeked at her. “Alone. They remain in Kensington, except for Edward and James who are at Oxford.”
“Oh.” She swallowed her disappointment. “Is your father improving?”
“Little by little.” He closed his eye and waved his hand dismissively. “You know how it is.”
“Yes.” And she did. Her mother still battled the cough from Easter and lately became short of breath at times. “So why are you home?”
“I have been sent to home in disgrace, dear Aurora.” His tone was flat, matching his expression.
Surprised by his admission, she stared at him. “What have you done this time?”
Tom shrugged lazily. “Several things. I drink too much, gamble too much and fail exams too much, the usual things. You know how I am. Oh and I begot a bastard, it seems.”
Aurora jerked at his frankness. “Heavens, Tom.”
“Heavens, Tom,” he mimicked, eyes still closed.
She heard the hurt in his voice. “Talk to me. It might help.”
“I doubt it.”
“Why not give it a try and see?”
He lowered his head and gazed at her. “You’re the first person who actually wants to listen. Everyone has been quick to shout, to demand, to accuse, but no one wanted to listen.”
She smiled and took his hand. “You’re like a brother. Of course I will listen.”
Sucking in a deep breath, he looked across the fields, his eyes losing focus. “A simple story it is. Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Girl gets pregnant. Boy accused. Boy sent away.”
“Is it ever that simple?” she asked quietly, feeling sorry for him. He acted like a little boy in need of a thrashing and a cuddle.
“No.”
“Are you sure you are the father?”
“Yes.”
“You won’t be made to marry her?”
“Mother refuses to allow it. The girl, Alice, is a baker’s daughter. Mother is beside herself with disgust. It is all right for one to dally with the lower orders but one must never think to marry one. I think Mother would rather see me dead than to marry beneath her standards.”
Julia Sinclair. Would that woman never stop meddling! Resentment flared and Aurora bit back a stinging retort. “Do you love this girl, Alice?”
Tom bent his head and plucked a blade of grass. “I don’t, no. I like her a lot. We had fun, but I feel no more than that, and thankfully neither does she. Alice knew the possible cost of her actions
and that marriage was never an option. And yet, despite Mother, I would marry her for the sake of the child, but Alice doesn’t want it. And, after dealing with Mother, who could blame her? There is another man she has her eye on, an assistant in her father’s shop.”
“What will happen to her then?”
“Mother has paid her a large sum of money and spoken to her family. Alice will marry the apprentice and it will all be tidied up to prevent embarrassment to both parties.” He sighed and the young, spoilt, fun-loving Tom Sinclair was replaced by another person, a man who, for perhaps the first time, knew the price of consequence.
“So you have been sent home.” She squeezed his hand in sympathy.
“Yes. Mother insisted upon it. I swear she has become even more…demanding during this past year. It is though she cannot stand to see her boys grow up and make decisions of their own. She’s impossible.” He snorted and shook his head. “Lord, I’m the eternal bad son, Aurrie. I even talk against my mother.”
“You’re not bad, not at heart.” She raised her eyebrows wryly at him. “I know you, remember? I’ve known you for years and you are far from bad. Naughty, yes. High-spirited, yes. Spoilt, yes. Mischievous, yes.”
“Hold on!” He raised his hands in surrender. “Jolly, you’ll have me in tears next. I don’t need any character assassinations, thank you. My mother is the queen of them.”
“Your mother should mind her own business.” She clapped her hand over her mouth as soon as she’d spoken.
Tom threw his head back and laughed loudly. “How right you are, Aurrie.”
“I should keep my opinions to myself.” The last thing she wanted to do was show how much she disliked of his mother.
“And what a dreary place the world would be if we all did that.”
“What do you plan to do?”
“I’ve joined the army, or rather, my father bought me a commission and forced me to go. He hasn’t left his sickbed, but with Mother’s help, managed to organize it.”
“The army?” She tried not to sound as sad as she felt.
“Yes. I don’t mind actually. I want adventure and this will provide it. Though they believe it will be a punishment, something to knock some sense into me. But I’ll prove them all wrong, Aurrie. I will be a success. That would show them wouldn’t it?”
“You’ll be leading soldiers into battle on a white charger before you know it!” She laughed, trying to lift the dangerous tension in his body. He seemed as coiled as a spring.
He jumped up and held out his hand to help her to her feet. “Come on. I’m starving. Shall we have luncheon on the terrace?”
They strolled along the lane between the fields towards the Hall, relaxed and easy with each other as always. Aurora brushed away another hovering fly. “I want to get you something for your birthday next month.”
“You’ll be the only one to do so. Although Reid might buy me something, he usually does. However, Mother says I’m not to have a celebration, another punishment, you see. Though I am permitted to invite a few friends for a small dinner party before the army claims me.” He sniffed his disgust at the notion. “I’ll tell you another secret. On that subject I will do as I wish. I will have a party and invite half the county if I bloody well please. Forgive my language.” He gave her a saucy wink.
“If you do that your mother will—”
“Have a paroxysm? Most likely.” He took her hand and swung it high between them. “A man is only two and twenty once, is he not? And for my coming of age last year it was a jolly boring affair at the Savoy. Mother invited all her tedious acquaintances and hardly any of my own friends.” He twitched his shoulders as if to be rid of an irritant. “Therefore, I mean to have the time of my life this year. And hopefully I can cause a cartload of trouble before my banishment into the regiment. I hope we’ll be posted somewhere exotic like Africa or the West Indies. There’s trouble and strife everywhere. Imagine the sights I would see!” He did a jig down the lane and she laughed at his antics.
“Could I come too? I want to see elephants and giraffes!” She ran after him in the sunshine and pushed the thoughts of Reid to the back of her mind. For a little while she wanted to be young and careless and think of nothing but the next minute, the next hour, and with Tom for company she’d be assured of a fun day.
Julia, descending the staircase of her Kensington townhouse, noticed the footman sorting through the letters near the front door. Her step slowed as she watched him put the mail in three different piles on the silver platter. He looked up as she left the last step and she disarmed him with a curt smile. “I’ll see to the post, Rogers.”
“Yes, Madam.” He bowed.
She looked at the other platter sitting alongside its twin. It was empty and she fought a moment’s panic. “Has the mail gone out?”
“No, Madam. I am on my way shortly. I was just checking for any last minute letters.” He indicated the small leather satchel on the floor by the door.
“Let me see those.” She waited for Rogers to open the satchel and hand her the bulk of envelopes. Julia read through them and found the last one to be addressed to Aurora. “Oh, here it is. This one can go later. I need to add to it.” The letter was slipped into her skirt pocket. “Thank you, Rogers.”
“Ma’am.” He bowed slightly and left immediately.
Julia turned to the arrivals platter and flicked through her husband’s correspondence, but none of it was of interest, and her own small pile would wait until later. She flipped through the envelopes addressed to Reid and found the one she wanted. Aurora’s handwriting was familiar now. With a slip of her hand, the letter went into her skirt pocket to join the other and she hurried into her private morning room beyond the stairs.
At her desk, she quickly opened the letter and read the contents. A small smile played on her lips as she read of Aurora’s puzzlement as to why Reid had stopped writing to her. The plan was working. Now, she had to act on it.
Aurora rode Princess into the stable yard behind the house and dismounted. Jimmy rose from where he sat on a low stool in the sun, polishing the harness and gathered Princess’s reins. “Thank you, Jimmy.”
“A good ride, Miss?”
“Very much so.” She gave him a smile and turned for the house. She’d just spent another day with Tom, as she had numerous times during the last two weeks. This morning, they’d ridden out to one of Tom’s friend’s house for morning tea and then on the way back, stopped at an inn situated beside a small river. They’d drunk ale from jugs, ate juicy meat pies with thick gravy and sat in the sunshine laughing and talking.
The hours flew by when with him and he helped her to ignore Reid’s neglect. At times she wished she could unburden to Tom about Reid and the love she felt for him, but what good would it do? Tom didn’t know Reid’s thoughts on the issue. And actually speaking of the whole affair made her feel vulnerable and rather stupid. What she had done was the silliest of mistakes and she would bear the condemnation in silence.
Walking into the back of the house, she paused in the dimness of the boot room to allow her eyes to adjust after the brightness of outside. Her head throbbed a little. She felt awfully tired and hoped she wasn’t coming down with a head cold or had too much sun. Thankfully, the corridor leading to the front of the house was deserted and much cooler than the June heat.
“There you are, Miss.” Dotty, the young parlor maid hurried down the hallway, relief altering her worried expression.
“What is it?” Aurora sighed. Dotty had a habit of getting on her nerves with her flighty, panicky ways.
Dotty wrung her apron in her hands. “Well, Madam and the Misses are out visiting and it’s Mr Tibbleton’s day off, you see ...”
“And?”
“Mrs Sinclair has arrived. I didn’t know…”
Aurora didn’t hear the rest of Dotty’s prattle as her mind and her stomach whirled in unison. Julia here? She felt more ill than ever.
“So, I’ve put her in the parlor, Miss, and
was off to get some tea.”
“Thank you.” Aurora took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Polite chatter with Julia? Could she do it feeling as defenseless as she did? The damned woman knew exactly how to torment her. She glanced up the staircase to where the haven of her bedroom beckoned, but duty made her step in the direction of the parlor.
She straightened her shoulders, and head held high, strode into the room. Mrs Sinclair stood by the front window, watching the drive. She turned, obviously expecting the maid, and her eyes widened. “Good afternoon, Mrs Sinclair. I didn’t realize you were back from London.”
“You!” Her sharp blue eyes narrowed. “I have been here for five minutes. I am a busy woman and do not tolerate being kept waiting.”
Aurora gave her a cynical glare, doubting it was that long. “I apologize, but we were not informed of your visit. My mother and sisters are out, I’m afraid, and I was riding.”
Mrs Sinclair’s rigid stance reeked disapproval. “With my son.”
“Yes, as a matter of fact.” Aurora smiled, enjoying the satisfaction of upsetting the older woman. How had she known she was with Tom? Did she have spies all over the county? “We had a lovely day together.”
“Wasn’t setting your cap at the eldest Sinclair enough for you?” Julia’s top lip curled. “Have you whored yourself to Tom as well?”
Aurora gasped and stumbled back as though struck.
A triumphant blaze lit Julia’s eyes. “You think I wouldn’t know?”
“What do you know?”
“Everything your pathetic, yet detailed, letters revealed.”
Putting one hand to her mouth, fighting the nausea that rose to choke her, Aurora reached out for something solid to support her and found the back of her mother’s chair. “You read my letters?”
“Of course. Nothing happens in my house that I don’t know about.”
“They were private letters!”
“Oh, yes, you are shocked I can see.” Julia smiled cruelly. “You must understand Aurora that anything concerning my sons concerns me. Did you think I would not know how many letters you and Reid have been sending? How would such a thing go unnoticed?”