by Anne Brear
“You had no right. They were personal.”
“Everything my sons do is of great importance to me and the Sinclair family. They are mine, and worthless chits like you will never usurp my position in their lives.”
“You cannot control them, they are men.”
Julia gave a mocking laugh. “Men or not, I rule this family. No other woman will change that. My boys rely on me totally for they know I have their best interests at heart. I would kill for them.”
A shiver of fear ran down Aurora’s spine at the coldness of Julia’s tone. “You are evil to do this.”
“I protect my family.” She lifted one elegant shoulder as if the topic was trivial. “But, by the time I’m finished with you, this particular matter will seem very unimportant.”
Confused, Aurora stared. “What-what do you mean?”
“I’ll get to that later. First, I want you to understand that you will never marry Reid, or indeed any of my sons.”
“I—” A tap on the door preceded Dotty, carefully carrying a tray of tea things. Aurora waited until the maid set the tray down with a slight thump and apologizing left the room again, before allowing herself to gulp in air.
Mrs Sinclair, as calmly as though she was Aurora’s dearest friend, unashamedly poured two cups of tea. She didn’t hand Aurora one, but instead took her own and sat down with a contented expression. “Now, let me tell you what I know. And believe me it is quite a lot, more than you can guess. And more than I bargained for.”
Feeling sick and afraid, Aurora inched to the next chair and gently lowered herself onto the edge of it. She could tell by the other woman’s air of arrogance that she had something vital to say and that it was going to hurt her.
“Is this tea fresh? I told your mother to order a special brand I found made in the wild mountains of China. A unique blend not well known, but of a supremely high quality.” Julia glared at the offending teapot on the tray as though it contained sludge from a riverbed. “Never mind.”
Aurora watched Reid’s mother, the woman who, if things turned out the way she hoped, would be her mother-in-law and a chill of unease rippled through her.
“So, you think yourself in love with my Reid, is that so?” Mrs Sinclair stared at her with a raised arched eyebrow. “And he in love with you? How silly you are, my dear. He used your body. Men do it all the time. That doesn’t mean a marriage or ever after love. Your mother should have explained that to you.”
Aurora swallowed back a retch. Her cutting words dirtied their relationship, made it impure.
“But then your mother is hardly the one to advise you on such subjects, with the history she hides.” The other woman sipped the tea and wrinkled her nose.
Dazed, Aurora grimaced. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Naturally. How could you when it is a secret? I’ve only just found out myself. I wasn’t expecting such a surprise.”
“Found out what?” she whispered, not wanting to know and wishing the vile woman would leave her home.
“Your mother has a sister, doesn’t she?”
“Yes…”
“A sister she never sees. One you have never met. Is that true?”
She nodded, though it hurt her neck to do so. She ached in every tensed muscle. Even her teeth hurt as they clenched together, waiting for the poison to be spilt, which it would be. Aurora could see it in Mrs Sinclair’s manner, the pleasure the other woman experienced in distressing her.
Mrs Sinclair picked at a piece of fluff on her skirt. “The last time your mother saw her sister Sophia, was when you were a mere three weeks old.”
“How do you know this?” Aurora tried desperately to think of anything her mother said about her sister, but her mind went blank. And why was Julia Sinclair talking about an aunt she didn’t know? This was about her and Reid.
“I hired a man to investigate your family.”
“You did what?” She gaped, shocked. It took several moments for her to believe what she said. “Why?”
“Because I saw your growing intimacy with my son and I didn’t want him becoming more enamored of you than he already was. I needed information to show him that you weren’t worthy enough to be linked with the Sinclair family. You have no pedigree, my dear.” Mrs Sinclair put down her teacup and stood. “However, I discovered more than I bargained for, I must admit. After reading your silly letters to him and his to you,” she paused to stare at Aurora as she walked towards the window, “oh yes, I stopped letters from him reaching you too.” She carried on to the window and looked out. “I must commend you on your letter writing. I was much entertained by your declarations of love. Still, they were all for nothing.”
Aurora waited for her to continue but when she didn’t, she worried that perhaps Julia had lost her reason. One minute she was talking about stopping her letters, then about her aunt and then about her and Reid again. Was the strain of John’s illness causing her mental health to suffer? Aurora took a calming breath. She found a glimmer of strength and clung to it. “I’m sorry if you have felt deceived by Reid and I. We planned to tell both families about our relationship once his father regained his health.”
“I think not. The information I paid for is going to be very useful to me.”
“Whatever information you have found will not matter to us. I love Reid and he loves me. We will be married.”
Turning from the window, Julia’s face showed her abhorrence. “No, you will not.”
“Why are you doing this?” Aurora cried, irritated and upset. “Why can’t you let us be happy?”
“Because my son will become a great man, a man wealthier than even his father is now. He has the acumen for business and moneymaking that most men would sell their souls to have. I will not let him and all that go to waste.”
“Let him?” Aurora snorted with a bravado she didn’t feel. “He is his own man.”
“Not where the family is concerned. His family means everything to him. He is completely devoted to us and the Sinclair empire. He worships his father and will do nothing to hurt him. I won’t allow Reid to lower himself by marrying a common slut like you.”
“I am not a slut.”
“Yes, you are. Haven’t you proved it?” Mrs Sinclair raged. “Haven’t you acted just like your mother!”
“My mother?” Aurora jerked to her feet to defend herself and her mother from this foul woman. “Of what are you accusing my mother?”
“Which one?”
Puzzled, her head throbbing like a beaten tambourine, she gazed at the other woman, wondering which one of them was mad.
Julia laughed, a light tinkling sound. “You don’t know what I am talking about, you poor stupid creature.”
“Perhaps you will enlighten me then?” Aurora scorned, wanting nothing more than to rake her nails down the awful woman’s face.
“Gladly.” She glanced out the window and then back to her. “Your real mother is Sophia Barton, younger sister to Winifred Barton Pettigrew.”
All warmth drained from Aurora’s face. “You’re mistaken. You lie. You’re insane.” She watched Julia cross to a leather bag left near the door, open it and pull out a large envelope, which she then flung onto the tea tray.
“Read it for yourself. It’s all there. Every detail. For money your mother told all.” She screwed her nose up in disgust. “You are bastard born to Sophia. She ran from her parents’ home in disgrace when they found out she was with child. Winnie and your father, who were married by this time, found her alone, penniless. Sophia gave them her baby. You.”
“No…”
“True.” Julia unhurriedly tugged on her gloves. “And that is why you, a bastard, will never marry Reid, or any of my sons. I will tell Reid of this when I return to London tonight. He will know you for what you are and put the family before you, my dear, count on it.” She reached inside her reticule and withdrew a slip of paper. “I brought evidence of another kind.” She held it out for Aurora.
Taking it in shak
ing hands, Aurora gazed at her. “What is it?”
“A letter I found on Reid’s desk, not finished. Read it.”
Opening out the sheet of paper Aurora saw Reid’s handwriting and her heart constricted.
My darling,
Soon, it will be possible for us to be together. There are things I must do, arrangements I’ve made in haste, which have now prevented me from declaring myself fully to your father.
Be patient my dearest Hermione…
Aurora swayed, light-headed, dying inside. How was all this possible? How could something so shocking, so wrong be true? “He doesn’t love her,” her words came out low, scratching her throat.
“Love has nothing to do with it, Aurora. By marrying Miss FitzGibbon he is doing what is best for the family.”
Aurora crushed the letter in her fingers and it dropped to the floor. “You must hate me very much to do all this. My parentage, Reid…”
“Actually, I don’t.” Julia gave a little nod. “You are extremely attractive and smart. You have courage and grace. Under other circumstances, such as you being higher born, I would have probably tolerated you for a daughter-in-law. But it isn’t to be. I will protect my family against scandal and harm to the death. You, my dear, threaten them with both by pursuing Reid. I will not allow it. My family is all that I care about. I’m sorry if this news upsets you, or that I had to go to such lengths to protect what is mine. I hope you understand it isn’t personal, not really.”
“But he loves me. I know he does. And I love him.”
“Any current affection he feels for you will pass in time, especially when he has a wife and family to think about.” Julia headed for the door. “As will you one day.”
“How can you do this?” Bile rose threatening to choke her. “You will hurt him too.”
“Only in the short term.”
“Please don’t tell him about my birth,” Aurora begged, desperate. “I will be the best daughter-in-law I can for you, I promise. You’d not regret allowing us to marry.”
“Put it out of your head for once and forever, my dear. Reid is not yours and never will be.” Pausing by the door, Julia turned back and sighed as though she was tired of this game. “All right, I’ll not reveal your circumstances to anyone if you distance yourself from Reid. But if you refuse to accept my warning, then I will let all this become public and I will embellish the tale greatly. Are you selfish enough to harm your mother and sisters, your father’s interests, especially after all they’ve done for you by taking you in? Stay away from Reid or I will shame you and your family without a second thought.”
Aurora believed Julia would do exactly as she said. The steeliness in Julia’s voice, the iciness in her eyes confirmed the words. She found it difficult to breath.
Chapter Five
After the loathsome woman left, Aurora remained standing. Reluctantly, her gaze was drawn to the papers on the tea tray. How innocent they looked. Yet, the words written inside had changed her life forever. She eased onto the sofa slowly, moving as though the slightest jerk would dissolve her fortitude. Numbness descended on her as she reached over and pulled out the papers from the envelope, three sheets in all. She skimmed the opening address to Julia by the man she’d hired but faltered in reading when the name Sophia Barton leapt out at her.
The hired man had found one Sophia Barton working in a public house, The Yellow Moon. He recorded the details of his first meeting with Miss Barton and how he followed her back to her lodgings in Walmgate, York. He again spoke to her the next day as she left to go to work. For the information she gave him, confirming her background and past, he paid her the sum of fifty pounds.
Aurora closed her eyes at this. Her real mother had offered up all the sordid details for money. Had she done the same with Aurora, her baby? Given her to Winnie for money? In her heart, she knew the answer.
Carriage wheels on the drive brought her head up. Her mother and sisters had returned home. Suddenly the papers in her hands felt dirty, tainted. She stuffed them in the envelope and folded it into her skirt pocket. The paper bulged in the pocket and she frantically patted it down as out the window her mother step down from the carriage.
Her mother. She had two.
How could Aurora face her? How to pretend that life remained as it was an hour ago, when all she had to worry about was the lack of Reid’s letters? The thought of Reid pierced the deadening fog surrounding her. Never would he be hers. She knew that clearly. She could not be his wife now. She could not fight Julia because she would lose. Her family would lose.
“Aurora, dearest.” Her mother breezed into the room, Bettina and Harriet following, smiling, talking and carrying several parcels.
“Did you have a nice morning?” Aurora pasted a tight smile on her face, wondering how she could be so calm when inside felt like an inferno was building in her chest. She stared at Winnie Pettigrew as though seeing her for the first time. Why hadn’t she told her the truth years ago? Why live this lie?
“I bought a new hat, Aurrie.” Bettina busily unpacked a white hatbox and held up a pink-feathered creation. “Isn’t it lovely?”
“Very much so.” Aurora rose. “I’ll have a proper look later, but I’ve a bit of a headache at the present and might lie down for an hour.”
“A headache, my dear?” Her mother was full of concern. “I hope you’re not coming down with something. I pray I haven’t passed on my cold to you.”
“I’ll be fine, really.” No, I won’t be, she silently cried. She would never be well again.
She went straight to bed and stayed there for the rest of the day, her mind alternating between denial and acceptance of all that Julia Sinclair told her. She read the papers repeatedly until she knew every word by heart. For a while she cried and then slept, only to wake and agonize over what to do with this new knowledge that had destroyed her life.
Hilda brought up a tray of soup and buttered bread, but Aurora couldn’t eat. She lay in bed watching the night crawl over the countryside, thinking, crying, even praying. She pretended to be asleep when her mother peeked in and again later when her father did so, too. However, sleep was far from her mind as the night drew on until dawn pinked the sky. Finally, as the sun rose above the tree tops she fell into a fitful doze.
When Aurora woke late morning she felt feverish and lethargic. On sitting up, she dry retched, which made her head throb intolerably. She wondered if she was dying and hoped she was. Could bad news kill you? Could the fact that your whole life was changed for the worse make you so ill you could die within days? She prayed it was so. For living with the knowledge her true mother had given her up, that she was a bastard, that she’d never marry Reid now would surely murder her.
She sank down into the pillows at the same time a knock preceded the door opening and her mother stepped into the room.
“Darling, you’ve slept through breakfast.”
“I’m sorry.”
Her mother’s smile faded and her eyes grew wary. “Are you still ill?”
“I think I might have caught something,” Aurora lied, although in truth she felt terribly unwell, but it had nothing to do with a cold.
“I’ll call the doctor.”
“No, please don’t. There is nothing he can do. I’m certain a day in bed will be all I need.”
Winnie felt her head. “Hmm… You’re a little hot but also pale.”
“I didn’t sleep very well.”
“I’ll look in on you again after church.” Her mother kissed the top of her head. “Shall I send a tray up?”
She nodded. “Tea would be lovely.”
“Yes. Good. Try to rest, my dear.”
The door closed on her mother and Aurora turned onto her side to stare at the wall, but the movement made her heave again and she rushed for the basin on the dresser. The dry retching exhausted her even more. Her body ached as though she’d fallen down a flight of stairs. Perhaps she had caught a cold. It was the last thing she felt she could cope with, but
at least it meant she could stay in bed and hide from the world.
Hilda brought the tea tray in and then opened the curtains to allow the sunshine to flood the bedroom. “It’s a beautiful hot June day, Miss, the kind I like.”
Aurora nodded, wincing at the light.
“The Mistress says you’re not feeling the best.” Hilda fussed with the clothes hanging over a chair at the end of the bed. “Do you wish to stay in bed or sit in the garden?”
“I might go downstairs later.”
“That’s grand, Miss.” Hilda took away the clothes ready for the laundry and closed the door behind her.
Aurora eyed the tea tray dubiously. For some reason the sight of tea and toast made the nausea rise again. Once more she dashed for the basin to retch until her stomach hurt in protest. She groaned and wiped her mouth. Perhaps she really was sick? Wearily, she trudged over to the window. In the stable yard below, Jimmy was checking Princess’s hooves. The pull of a long enjoyable ride was strong, but her stomach wasn’t and it won the battle.
Sighing, Aurora plodded back to bed and settled amongst the sheets. Inevitably, her thoughts turned to the information Julia had told her. Sophia Barton. Her real mother. The one who gave her up. Did Sophia ever think of her? Did she keep in contact with her sister and ask about the baby she abandoned?
Aurora thought about the few times her mother had mentioned her sister and realized precious little had been revealed. There was so much she didn’t know. So much she needed to know. For one thing, who was her real father?
Tiredness made her shuffle further down the bed and plump up the pillows. She closed her eyes, still thinking of the faceless woman who gave her life.
When she opened her eyes again, the small carriage clock on the mantelpiece showed she’d slept for an hour. Feeling a little better, Aurora threw back the covers and quietly washed and dressed, her movements slow and deliberate, not wanting to be sick again. She placed a napkin over the offending tea tray and decided to take it down to the kitchen and have a glass of cold water instead. The room was closing in on her. She needed fresh air, sunshine and somewhere to think. Her head felt like it was full of wool stuffing.