“Oh come on. It’s not like you’re the baby’s father. And she knows that. How many times did the admitting nurse ask what our relationship was? It’s written all over my chart. Plus, she was totally staring at you, too. Trust me.” She waved her hands in the air. “This is meant to be.” She grabbed her belly. “Ow, crap. These things hurt.”
Coffee. I could do coffee. Maybe I could do coffee? The second I really considered it, a tightness pulled at my gut. It was too soon. I was too damaged. Too . . . vulnerable, maybe? It’d been four months since my breakup with Darcy. And it still burned to think of her. Bad. “I think it’s too soon,” I said more to myself than Avery.
“Travis.”
I looked up.
“Just talk to her. It’s not too soon for that. Besides, all women are not like Darcy. You can’t let her ruin everything.”
I believed that. Darcy was an anomaly. A freak of twisted, cruel, backstabbing nature. Maybe it really was time to give someone else a chance. I flipped through a Backpacker magazine for half an hour chewing on my thoughts, then tossed it aside when I realized I’d read the same paragraph four times and still had no idea what it was about. It was stupid. Avery was right, but still. Stupid. I glanced at my watch. Half an hour till seven—till shift change. Fine.
I looked at Avery. “So . . . you think maybe you need to ask the nurse about your pain management options?”
Avery laughed. “Pain management options? Fancy words, Trav. And so official.”
I scoffed. “Do you want me to talk to her again or not?”
“Oh! Right! Yes. Let’s talk to the nurse.” She reached over and pushed the call button on the side of her bed.
“What can I do for you?” A tinny voice called through the speaker.
“That’s her,” Avery whispered to me. “I can tell.” She turned back to the speaker. “Hi. I just have a few more questions. Can you maybe come back for a minute?”
“Sure thing,” the voice responded.
I left Avery sitting on the ball and walked to the bathroom, where I stared into the mirror, my hands gripping the sides of the sink. I felt incredibly off my game. It might have just been that my flirting skills had rusted from lack of use but a part of me was afraid Darcy had just screwed me up too bad for repair. I moved back to the window just as Lilly came through the door. She stopped at the foot of Avery’s bed and smiled. “What’s up?”
Avery made up some sequence of questions about pain and IV meds and epi-whatevers then listened as Lilly walked her through the answers.
Long story short, as long as Avery could bounce and talk and smile through her pain, she was a long way from needing any of the serious drugs.
“But how will I know when it’s time? I thought labor was supposed to be this big thing, but this feels a little underwhelming.”
Lilly smiled. “I promise you’ll know when things get serious.”
Avery leaned back. “Do you have any kids?”
Lilly shook her head, a smile still playing on her lips. “Nope, but I’ve been working here for two years and I’ve seen a lot of patients just like you.”
“Oh good. So I’m not the only one that gestates like an elephant. How comforting.”
Lilly laughed. “You’re definitely not the only one.”
When she laughed, her nose crinkled up and she looked younger, less super model like and more, girl-next-door cute. I was really digging it.
“Two years, huh?” Thank you Avery for keeping the conversation going.
“Yep. I started right out of school, and I’ve been here ever since.”
“Did you grow up around here?” Good question.
“Not too far. About thirty minutes away.”
“Do you want kids?”
Lilly paused and I tensed up, wondering if Avery was pushing her luck with so many questions.
“Sorry,” Avery added. “Is that too personal? I guess I’m just curious if working with babies all the time makes you want one of your own. Or is it more like working in fast food? You make French fries all day so you never want to actually eat them.”
“Ha!” Lilly laughed again. “It’s definitely not like fast food.” She folded her arms across her chest. “I do want kids. Some day. When I’ve met the right guy, I guess.”
Score. Relationship status defined.
“So what do you like to do in your spare time?”
Lilly hesitated again and Avery shot me a don’t-think-I-can-keep-this-up-forever look.
“Sorry for all the questions,” I said, finally joining the conversation. “I think we’re just . . . bored.”
Lilly looked up, we made eye contact, and my pulse instantly climbed.
“It’s fine,” she said, her eyes still trained on mine. “I don’t mind you asking.” She seemed to think for a second, then shrugged. “I guess mostly, I like hiking, and backpacking.”
“Really?” Avery maybe sounded a little too enthusiastic. “Trav does too! He hiked the entire Appalachian Trail last year.” She looked at me, pride glowing all over her face.
“For real? Northbound or south? How long did it take you?” Lilly asked.
So she knew what she was talking about. “North. I finished in just under five months.”
“Dude, that’s a great time.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. “I’m so jealous. I’m hiking it too, just in pieces. I can’t get the time off work to do it all at once. I want to, though.”
“How much have you hiked?”
“Everything from here to Virginia, and the northern half of Pennsylvania.”
“Not bad,” I told her. It was actually dang amazing, but I was trying to play it cool.
“I’ve just done the easy part,” she said. “I don’t know when I’ll ever be able to manage the time off to hit the northern section.”
“If it makes you feel any better, the southern half of the trail was definitely my favorite part,” I said.
“Yeah? I’ve heard Mt. Katahdin blows everything else away.” She fiddled with the hem of her scrubs, like she didn’t know what to do with her hands.
“Hmm, yeah, Katahdin is pretty amazing, but, I don’t know. There’s something about the southern Appalachians.”
She took a step closer. “Do you have a favorite trail?”
I didn’t even hesitate. “Silar Bald over in Franklin.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s a great one.”
You know it?”
She shook her head and laughed. “It’s my favorite, too.”
I stood up and pushed my hands in my pockets, mostly because it gave me the chance to remove even more of the space between us. I couldn’t stop staring at her eyes.
She leaned onto the balls of her feet, like she was . . . excited, maybe? “Have you ever done the Silar night hike? The outdoor store on Main St. puts it on every year.”
“I’ve never even heard of it.”
She had freckles on her nose and across the bridge of her cheeks. I really loved those freckles.
“It’s amazing,” she continued. “They build this big bonfire at the top. I mean, you don’t get the view, obviously, which is admittedly the best part of Silar, but there’s something pretty amazing about being up there, feeling the energy of the mountain and the people.” She shifted. “Sorry. I’m probably doing a terrible job explaining.”
I laughed. “No, you’re pretty convincing. Actually, that might be what it is I like so much about the southern half. The energy. It’s like the mountains have a different kind of spirit down here.”
“I know exactly what you mean. Like they hold all this native history and hidden culture and you can’t ever be out there without really feeling it.”
I took another step forward. “Exactly.”
Then we just stood there. Staring at each other.
“Wow,” Avery said. “Seems like you guys have a lot to talk about.”
Lilly’s face paled and she turned to look at Avery, taking a huge step back. “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t me
an . . .” She pushed the heel of her hand into her forehead. “I should get back to work.” She repositioned the monitors on Avery’s belly, making sure everything was hooked up correctly, then slipped out the door.
“Why did you let her leave?” Avery asked.
“Why did you scare her away?” I shot back. “She thought you were criticizing her for talking to me.”
“I was trying to give you a lead in. You should have asked her for coffee right then.”
“While she’s working?”
“She won’t be working in ten more minutes. Go catch her!”
“You think?”
“Yes, I think. Go at 7, walk her to her car, and ask her out.”
A spark of hope lit up my chest. I could do it. I was going to do it. Because Avery was right. It had been long enough. And with a woman like Lilly—I’d always regret it if I didn’t at least try.
Chapter 3
Lilly
I leaned against the wall right beside the nurse’s desk and closed my eyes, still distracted by my conversation with Travis. It was totally screwed up. And totally unfair. Why? Why did he have to have hiked the whole of the Appalachian trail? Why did he have to be cute in a rugged outdoorsy kind of way with the perfect amount of scruffy beard and this voice that . . .
“Hey, Lil, you okay?” Jane walked up and stopped in front of me.
“What? Yeah, sorry. Just catching my breath, I guess.”
“It’s your turn to report off. Can you come?”
I nodded. “I’ll be right there.”
I followed her down the hall, briefed the night shift nurse that was taking over my patients and finally headed for home.
In the elevator on my way out, I got a text from Emma.
EMMA: How was the day? Feeling any better?
Ha. Hardly. I keyed out my response. I met a guy today.
EMMA: WHAT??! I TOLD YOU!!
ME: Yeah. His baby should be born sometime tomorrow.
EMMA: Oh. That sucks.
ME: Tell me about it. He’s totally perfect and totally taken. Just my luck.
The elevator dinged open. I reached up and wrapped my scarf around my neck and headed toward the staff parking lot. I could see through the door at the end of the hall it was already covered with a new layer of snow.
Stupid snow.
A few steps down the hallway, I heard my name.
“Lilly!”
I turned. Travis was hurrying down the hallway in my direction. He stopped right in front of me, holding his hand up like he was trying to catch his breath.
“Sorry,” he finally muttered. “I was afraid I wouldn’t catch you.”
“Is everything okay? You should have a new nurse by now . . .”
“Oh, no. Everything’s fine. Avery’s fine. I wasn’t . . . I didn’t . . . this isn’t about her.”
I pulled my gloves out of my coat pocket and put them on. “Oh.”
“Listen.” He seemed nervous, fidgety. “I realize this may seem entirely inappropriate, considering the circumstances, and I don’t want to take away from what Avery is going through at all, but, can I buy you a cup of coffee? Or, I don’t know, maybe we could grab dinner sometime?”
My mind was a jumble of words and thoughts and feelings. Number one, he liked me enough to ask me for coffee. Number two, he looked really good standing there, all sheepish. But number three cancelled both of those things out. Because it was staring at me in huge glaring capital letters. HIS WIFE (Or girlfriend. Or . . . woman companion, or WHATEVER) WAS UPSTAIRS HAVING A BABY.
I couldn’t fault him for feeling a connection. But acting on it was another matter altogether. I valued integrity too much for my opinion of him not to totally tank at his suggestion. The sizzle from earlier? Yeah. Total lead in my stomach.
I took a step backward and shook my head. “I don’t think so.”
He pushed his hands into his pockets. “Really? Just coffee? Come on. What’s the harm in that?”
“What’s the harm? Are you actually being serious right now?”
“Whoa. Hold on. I wasn’t trying to offend. I guess I just thought we had a connection. It seemed like you felt it too, like you were . . . interested.”
My cheeks flooded with guilt. Noticing he was cute was one thing, but . . . had I really made him think I was interested? Like, interested interested? I took another step backwards. “I think you’ve misunderstood me. I would never have coffee with you. Or dinner. Or . . . anything.”
“Oh.” He looked stunned. And wounded. “Okay. Sorry I asked then.”
“I need to go.” I pulled my bag higher onto my shoulder and stalked to the exit. Once through the door, I turned and saw him through the glass, standing in the same spot, his arms folded across his chest.
Stupid. Stupid, stupid man and stupid unfair world.
Before, I’d been annoyed he wasn’t available, but now I was annoyed and angry. Because, dude, you don’t hit on nurses when your wife is in labor. It’s diving to the very bottom of the pit of bad behavior. The bottom of the bottom. Ugh.
I texted Emma while waiting for my windshield to defrost so I could drive home.
ME: My crush on cute baby daddy is officially over.
EMMA: Yeah? Why?
ME: He hit on me.
EMMA: Ohhh. Yeah, that would do it. I’m sorry.
ME: Meh. I’ll survive.
And I would. Of course I would.
But that didn’t mean I didn’t wish really hard for Avery to hurry and have her baby before my shift started the next morning. The faster they were off my floor, the better.
Chapter 4
Trav
Back in the room, Avery was pacing in circles, a sheen of sweat visible on her forehead. She stopped in her tracks and glared at me. “Where have you been?”
I looked at my watch. “What? I’ve only been gone twenty minutes.”
She leaned onto the foot of the bed. “Is that all? It feels like it’s been twenty hours. And I’m tired and hungry and I really just want to have this baby.”
I stopped behind her and rubbed her shoulders. “You’re doing great. How are the contractions?”
“Worse. Painful. Terrible. Like my insides are being ripped out with a giant pointy claw.”
“Wow. Sounds . . . awful.”
She turned and leaned on my shoulder. Her breathing intensified. “It is awful. Oh no no no… I don’t want another one right now.”
I took hold of her elbows, letting her lean on me until the contraction had passed. “You okay?”
She nodded. “Yeah, but I need drugs. I think I understand what the nurse meant when she said I would know when the pain was bad enough.”
“Drugs. Okay. You want me to call Buster? I’m pretty sure he could sneak in a little medicinal marijuana.”
She punched my arm. “Shut up. You’re not funny at all.”
“You could probably just breathe the scent off his clothes. It might be enough to take the edge off.”
She at least cracked a smile at that one.
“Your roommate is the very last person I want to see right now,” Avery said. “No matter what he smells like.”
I walked her back to the bed. “You want me to go tell your nurse you’re ready for the strong stuff?”
“Yes, please. And hurry.”
By 10 PM, Avery was chilling with an epidural, watching Patrick Dempsey in Can’t Buy Me Love while I dozed on the couch beside her. It’s possible I got a little queasy when the anesthesiologist stuck a giant needle into Avery’s spine. And it’s possible I might have passed out and was ordered by nurse Ilene to get myself out of the way and stop making such a scene. Possibly.
“How’re you feeling, Trav?” Avery looked better. The lines of pain that had been etched across her forehead were gone and her color was good.
I stretched and stood up. “I think I need food. You want anything?”
“Sure. A bacon double cheeseburger. With extra bacon. And a Cherry Coke. Actually,
the nurse just offered me one, but I worried the smell might make you queasy so I decided to just have these ice chips instead.” She held up her cup and forced a smile.
Right. She couldn’t eat. I grimaced. “Sorry. I forgot.” I rubbed my hands through my hair. “How’s your pain?”
She patted her legs. “Totally and completely gone.” Suddenly she learned forward, gripping the sides of her hospital bed. “Dude. I didn’t even ask. What did Lilly say?”
I winced just thinking about her rejection. “Yeah. You don’t need to ask.”
“What? Why? What did she say?”
“Let’s see if I can get it exactly right.” I cleared my throat. “I will never get coffee with you. Or have dinner. Or anything.”
Avery’s jaw dropped. “Wow. That’s a pretty thorough rejection.”
“Maybe the worst I’ve ever gotten. Did I misread things when we were talking? I kinda felt like she was in to me.”
“She totally seemed into you! I don’t know, Trav. That’s weird.”
I shrugged. “Meh. It doesn’t matter. I’m probably too screwed up for a woman like her anyway.”
“Shut up. So you have a past. We all do. But you’re not allowed to act like love isn’t a possibility. Because if there’s no hope for you, there’s definitely no hope for me.” She leaned back onto her pillows, her hands resting on her belly.
“Avery. You’re crazy. Any guy would be lucky to be with you.”
Her eyebrows went up. “A mostly broke jewelry designer with a flat-line career path and a baby? I’m sure I’ll be at the top of every guy’s list.”
I moved to her bed and squeezed her foot. “You know I’ll babysit for you anytime you want to go out,” I said. “I promise.”
She smiled, genuine this time. “You’re going to be a good uncle.”
“So what do you say you have that baby right now so we can be good and gone before Lilly comes back to work tomorrow?”
She groaned. “Right now? Can I sleep a little first?”
I clapped my hands with mock enthusiasm. “Where is the desperation of two hours ago? Come on! Let’s do this thing.”
“Because having a baby is always an on demand activity. Put your quarter in and here ya go! Besides, two hours ago I did not have drugs that make me this happy.”
A Little in Love With You: A Love at First Note Novella Page 2