I see his arm lift and I even prepare myself for the pain, but what I don’t do is flinch. I may be terrified right now, but I can control what he sees and I’ll be damned if he sees the terror on my face. He may have the upper hand now, but I won’t let it show.
LUKE
I check my cell discreetly after messaging Lily back but see nothing as I order another drink. I’ve been inside this bar for five days straight trying to make an impact by being my normal broody self. There’s only one person I’ve spoken to in that time—Lily.
Ty sent me an encrypted message asking how things are going but I haven’t answered because I have nothing to tell him. Apart from getting wasted and sitting on my own at the bar, nothing else has happened. Not one person has gone into the back room.
Fuck. Maybe they know someone is watching them?
Just when I’m thinking about heading back to the compound to talk to Ty and tell him my plan isn’t working, the door opens and in walks a new face. Okay, so I’m technically a new face too, but this one has my instincts on high alert. My senses prickle to life as I watch him out of the corner of my eye.
He sits down at the bar and orders a beer but his gaze flits across the room before stopping on the guy I know for sure is the head of this particular operation. My hand moves toward my waistband and closer to my gun as I watch him closely in the mirror that runs behind the length of the bar.
No one else seems to be monitoring him, at least not until he stands up and spins around, looking directly at the head guy. I move my hand at the same time as he does, and by the time he’s pulled his gun out, I’ve shot off three rounds. Not to kill him, but enough to do some serious damage.
I lunge for him at the same time chairs are scraped back and guns drawn, but I don’t stop until I have his weapon in my hand which I then train on him.
The bar is a flurry of activity but my mind is clearer than it has been for a long time. This is what I’m best at—what I’m trained to do—and nothing else calms me the way this does.
A hand clasping my shoulder has me spinning around. I train my gun on the person until I realize it’s the head guy. I don’t say a word as I lower the weapon, and when I catch my gaze in the mirror, I see the deadness behind the blue in my eyes. I need to shake it off; not let that side of me come to the forefront, because if it does, there’s no telling what I’ll do.
“I think we should talk,” the head guy says, his voice rough and scratchy like he smokes two packs of cigs a day.
“About?” I ask before disarming the gun and letting the clip land on the floor with a crash. I walk back to my seat and pick up my drink.
“We could start with who you are and why you took that guy out?”
“He was gonna shoot you.” I shrug and slam my glass down onto the bar before grabbing my jacket. “I made him as soon as he walked in.”
“I saw that,” head guy says, holding his hand out. “Name’s Dex.”
“Luke,” I reply, placing my hand in his and squeezing before letting go.
“Join us for a drink, Luke.”
“Nah.” I push my arms through the sleeves of my jacket. “I was just headin’ out.”
“Another time then.”
I shrug. “Sure.” I walk past the body that’s still bleeding out on the floor and out of the bar, toward the motel where I’m staying.
I have to play this the right way, and now that he’s noticed me I can put everything into action.
LILY
I have no concept of time until the engine stops and the trunk is opened. I’m sure it must be morning by now, so when the dark sky greets me I don’t expect it. The brief reprieve of being locked in the trunk is over, but I have no idea what to expect. I’ve never seen him this angry before. I need to get away.
He grips my arms, yanking me out of the trunk before pulling me up the path.
I drag my feet, not wanting to walk into the house of hell, but he has none of it. He picks me up after opening the door and practically throws me inside. My face smacks off the doorframe and I feel blood trailing down my cheek from my eye, but it doesn’t matter because at least now I can feel something. Something is better than nothing where he’s concerned.
He slams the door behind him, the sound of it reverberating through the whole house. “Get yourself cleaned up. I’m bringing you to Thursday mass.”
I push my shoulders back but the force causes my biceps to burn from where my wrists are tied together behind my back. “No.”
“What?” His brow rises, his nostrils flaring. “What did you just say?”
“I said.” I swallow but urge the courage to come forth. “No.”
He laughs loud, but it’s sinister. I forgot what he sounds like when he does that and it does nothing but make goose bumps spread over my skin. My body knows I’m in danger, even if my brain hasn’t quite caught up yet.
He’s calm as he steps toward me, all his movements slow and measured, his blue eyes lighting with fire that he keeps under control. “You must think you have a choice here.” He smiles, and for a second I see the man he used to be. The loving father who would carry me on his shoulders before taking me to the park to play on the slide. But that disappears when his hand whips out and grabs me around the throat.
My muscles contract on instinct to stop him but my arms won’t move, no matter how many times I pull. The burn of the thick rope tells me I won’t be able to get out of the hold he has on me.
“You never have a choice,” he spits out before pushing me forward and onto the sofa, his grip not lessening up any. “I’m your master and you will do as I say!”
I try to shake my head in answer because words aren’t able to get past my windpipe I’m sure he’s crushing.
“I should teach you a lesson for running away from me.” He leans down and I cringe when I feel his erection against my thigh. I can’t stop the sick bubbling up at the feel of it. He’s getting off on this and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. “How long had you planned it for, huh?” His face comes closer before he crushes his lips against mine. I shiver at the feel of his stubble against my chin and open my mouth. I won’t give up without a fight this time. I won’t let him destroy what’s left of me. Biting down as hard as I can, I relish in the taste of blood when it hits my tongue.
He yanks himself away from me, and when his hand touches his face, I grin wide because I know he didn’t expect me to fight back. Does he not realize I’m not the same girl he took everything from? I’ll never let him take from me the way he has. It’s time to fight harder than I ever have before.
I laugh at the sight of his shocked face, and the brashness causes his gaze to focus on me.
“You think I’m that weak little girl?” I croak out. “You think I’m gonna sit here and let you do and take whatever you want?” Blood drips down my chin and I’m not sure if it’s his, mine, or a combination of both. “You can’t control me anymore. You took away my innocence, there’s nothing left for you to take.”
His stance widens as calm emanates from him. His hand drops to his side before he takes a step forward. “Want to bet on that, little girl?”
I don’t see his fist. I only feel it on my temple seconds before everything turns blurry and then black.
LILY
I thought there was nothing worse than being hit—slapped, punched, whipped—by him, but I was wrong. It’s been three days and three nights since he brought me back to my childhood home, and I only know that because of the small gap in the window he’s covered up.
I don’t know how you could live in a house your whole life and not know every square inch of it. The sight of the contraptions on the wall in this part of the basement tell me this is where he hurt my mom. That along with the scratches on the wall, the dried blood, and tools all lined up perfectly… it sickens me.
I’m not sure if it’s a scare tactic, but if it is, it’s working. My stomach churns when I think about the things he could have done down here, but nothing comes up.
I haven’t eaten since he threw me down here—not that I’d have been able to anyway.
The smell permeating in this room tells me all I need to know. I don’t need to see it with my own two eyes. I know better than anyone how evil he is.
I can move my legs—not far because they’re chained to the wall, but enough to not have them cramping. My wrists are still tied behind my back and after so many hours, my shoulders are now numb.
Not once has he come to check if I’m still here, so when I hear murmuring voices, I try to concentrate on them as much as I can as they come closer—the first voices I’ve heard since being thrown in this basement. He hasn’t touched me since locking the door behind him, and I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or not.
A door opens and I lean forward to hear who it is.
“She’s down here.” Dad.
“Think she’ll do as she’s told now?” Jonah. Wait… Jonah?! My mouth opens as I ready myself to beg him for help as the stairs creak from their weight. They walk down to me, but when he says, “I’ll make sure to keep her in line, just like you have,” I stop myself from saying a word.
What the hell is going on? Why would Jonah be here? My eyes widen when I realize what’s going on. Everything plays on repeat in my head. All the times I was corrected after Jonah didn’t get his way at school. Was he instigating it? Or have they been in on it together all along?
I swallow when the light is turned on. It illuminates both of their faces, and when I focus on Jonah, I can see it in his eyes—the same evil that resides in my dad’s.
“Well hey there.” Jonah grins before walking over and crouching down in front of me. “Did you have a nice trip?” I sneer at him, not willing to grace him with a reply. “It’s such a shame Luke left you for days at a time, huh?” He tuts. “No matter though because I made sure you were safe.” I flinch when he runs his fingertip over the dried cut on my eye. “You look so peaceful when you sleep.”
“You… what?” I croak out, my voice not used to working the last few days.
“What was it he said to you?” He taps his chin, looking up at the ceiling. “Always be aware of your surroundings?” He shakes his head. “Not too good at that, are you?”
My eyes widen as I fully comprehend what he’s saying. He was there all along—watching and waiting. I never stood a chance at a new life. It wasn’t just my dad; it was Jonah too.
“Ding, ding, ding!” Jonah twists around to face my dad where he’s standing next to his tools. “Looks like it finally clicked.”
“I did say she wasn’t too bright.” Dad shrugs before picking up a pair of pliers with dried blood all over them. “Are you sure you’re ready to learn, Jonah?”
Jonah leans forward and I try to scramble away from him as he reaches his arm around me. The clanking of the chains hitting the floor vibrates around me, and even though I can now move my legs, it doesn’t mean I’m free. Far from it.
He pulls back and stands up, looking down at me before placing his hand on top of my head and stroking once, twice, three times. He grips onto my hair and pulls me up, causing my scalp to burn from the force.
I scream and thrash around, but none of it helps. He doesn’t stop until I’m moving toward where my dad is standing. “You have one last chance to do as I say, if not, our plan goes ahead.”
“Go to hell,” I growl out, not willing to stop fighting. It doesn’t matter what they do or say because I’ll never let myself be pushed aside to make way for a shell of a girl they both seem to want. Why do they want to break me?
“Okay.” Dad places the pliers down and walks away. For a second I think he’s going to give up, but when he turns around at the bottom of the stairs, he says, “Be quick, Jonah. We have church in an hour and I want to tell everyone the good news.”
“Good news?” I ask, wishing I wouldn’t have when he grins.
“You turn eighteen in a couple of days.” I stay silent, not understanding what he’s saying. “You’ll be getting married on your birthday… to Jonah.”
My eyes widen as I shake my head, but it doesn’t move much when Jonah grips me harder. “No!”
The air turns colder in the basement as the tension becomes so thick it’s almost stifling. But I don’t stop putting up a fight, not even when Jonah snaps my head back. My back bows and my shoulders burn from the force, but I don’t give up.
“Teach her to obey you, Jonah.” I focus on my dad as he winks before walking up the stairs and closing the door behind him.
There’s a beat of silence as we both listen to his retreating footsteps before I feel his breath on my face.
“Time to take what’s mine.”
He grips my chest and squeezes my nipple so hard that I cry out. I jerk away from him but it doesn’t work, and then I’m being let go with force. I try to bring my arms out to break my fall, but they’re stuck so my face and knees take the brunt of it. I wince when my chin smacks off the hard, cold floor causing my teeth to sink into my lip and break the skin.
I listen as he moves closer, but it’s not until his hands grasp my hips and pull me backward that I realize he’s on the floor with me now. My heart beats harder in my chest, knowing what he’s going to do. I can’t let it happen again. I won’t survive if—
“Don’t worry though, baby. I won’t fuck your pussy.”
He comes closer and pushes his face into mine. I want to spit in his face and let him know how much I despise him, but before I know it he’s moving behind me. I shuffle a couple of inches away on my knees, putting all of my strength into it, but he doesn’t like that and shows it by slamming his fist into my side. It takes my breath away, making me lose my balance, and my chest crashes against the floor. I recoil as his hand presses into the bottom of my back.
“As I was saying…” His hands worm around my front before undoing my zipper with lighting speed. “I can’t have your delicious pussy until we’re married, but this…” He runs his hand over my ass before slapping it and laughing. “I can take this as much as I want.”
“No, please, Jonah… please don’t. You don’t have to do this—”
He slams his fist into my side a second time, only this time he puts more force behind it. “Shut up!”
“Please—”
“I said shut up!”
I open my mouth, about to beg him to stop again, but when he yanks down my jeans and his skin touches mine, I know there’s nothing I can do. He’s going to take what he wants and nothing will get in his way. My fight leaves me as he grips each of my ass cheeks and pulls them apart.
Mentally I try to prepare for what’s about to come. Maybe I could go to my happy place? I’ll do whatever I can to survive what he’s—
“Yessss.”
He groans as he starts to push inside of me and all I can do is hold my breath as I’m ripped apart from the inside out. I grit my teeth, knowing if I can just endure—my breath hitches when he pulls back out, and then he’s slamming himself back inside me and I lose the will. I lose the fight. I lose it all.
LILY
One action. Several minutes. That’s all it took to destroy me. I thought there was nothing worse than what had already happened to me, but the idea of a lifetime with Jonah has broken me completely.
I feel nothing. It’s the only way to act when feeling everything is too much.
I have to protect myself and my sanity. I get it now... I really do get it. This is why people become catatonic. They do it to save themselves. And that’s exactly what I’m doing now as I walk toward the church with my hand limp inside of Jonah’s tight grip.
My only hope now is that someone will notice. Maybe they’ll look at me and see the broken girl screaming inside for someone to stand up and fight for her. Just like Luke did.
Luke.
The man who tried to be my superhero but failed. How many times did I tell him I could save myself? What a childish notion to think I could rescue myself from the hands of evil. It was never going to work out the way I pla
nned.
This is my life now and I have to make the most of it, no matter how much I become someone else. I’ll always be the girl who couldn’t give Luke the fake smiles and he could see right through. She’ll always be buried inside of me.
His angel.
It’s another life. One I wouldn’t change.
I’ve given up, the fighter inside me has had enough. It’s too exhausting to keep pushing against something you can’t stop.
Is this how my mom felt?
The church is packed to the brim when we walk inside, and silence rains down on us as Jonah moves us down the aisle toward the pew. An aisle I’ll be walking down in a couple of days for an entirely different reason.
Was this the plan from the beginning? Did Dad know once I turned eighteen he wouldn’t be able to control me so he made his own plan?
I sit down tentatively but can’t stop the wince slipping free when I make contact with the hardwood.
“We finally found her,” Dad announces, but I can’t bring myself to look up at him. The shame of what Jonah did to me drips from every pore. It’s like they all know, and when Jonah pulls me up after several minutes and tilts his head to the podium, I don’t hesitate in walking toward it. I see the warning clear in his eyes.
Dad wraps his arm around me when I’m standing next to him, and I can’t bring myself to move away. The rebel inside of me wants to shout. To tell them what he’s been doing for the last five years. What Jonah did only ten minutes ago. But when I open my mouth, nothing comes out.
“We found her bound in a motel room, beaten half to death and a shell of her former self.” My dad sniffles, the act just that—an act. “She wouldn’t go to anyone but Jonah: the man she’s been dating without my knowledge.” I look up slightly and the first person my gaze lands on is Kim. Her eyes are wide and her hand covers her mouth. “I’m not too happy about what they have been doing behind my back, but when Jonah explained to me how much they love each other and that he wants to make an honest woman out of my daughter, I couldn’t say no.”
Catching Teardrops (MAC Security Series Book 5) Page 19