by Brent, Cora
“Nothing, nothing at all,” I stammered.
Orion nodded. “Good. Let’s keep the fucking crazy away.” He peered in the sink at the dead chicken, a distasteful look on his face. “What the hell are you gonna do with that?”
Kira shoved him. “It’s dinner, asshole. And you’ll eat it and be grateful.” She managed to pluck the cigarette out of his hand and extinguished it on the counter, giving him a triumphant grin.
He pointed a finger at her. “Yeah, you won that one. Now keep your hot little ass in the kitchen until I’ve got some food on my table.” His booted feet started to walk heavily away.
“Love you!” Kira called.
“Love you too, pussycat.” He walked out the front door.
Rachel laughed at all of us and rinsed off the chicken.
Kira was unhappy with the cookies when they came out of the oven. “They’re ugly,” she complained.
“I guess there’s a reason they’re called ‘Dead Man’s Bones’,” I shrugged.
The cake, however, looked lovely. I mixed the cherry sauce and set it aside to warm on a back burner while Kira searched for a place to hide the cake from Brandon or whoever else might wander in.
Rachel pulled me back to her trailer and plied me with one of her old pageant dresses. “You’ve got the figure,” she said, laying the dress across me approvingly. “I think you’re ready to flaunt it.”
It was deep cerulean blue, low cut with a rhinestone studded bodice. A slit was cut provocatively up the side to the upper thigh.
“Holy shit,” she winked when I slipped it on. “Gray’s gonna bang you on the spot, hon.”
Rachel curled my hair so that it fell in soft ringlets and then squeezed into a tight, strapless red gown as she fluffed her black hair around her face. She looked like a movie star.
I told her so and she kissed me on the cheek. “Would you be a love and go find my man? He’s probably in the bar, still going over accounts in the office. Tell him I’m waiting.” Rachel settled on the bed, crossing her long legs.
I didn’t see Casper at first when I walked into Riverbottom. The bar was closed on Sundays but that didn’t stop Teague from drinking himself into a stupor at a dirty table.
He didn’t look up when I walked in. He was clenching and unclenching his left hand in an odd, intense way. Teague was in the habit of avoiding me, rarely even nodding an acknowledgement. I thought he seemed a little sad, morose, but Kira laughed when I told her that. She said he was just a ‘shit bastard’ who hated happiness.
I cleared my throat. “Hi.”
He poured another shot of Jack Daniels from the bottle and downed it. “Yeah, I fucking saw you.”
I clasped my hands behind my back. “You know, we’re having dinner at the house in a little while. I hope you’ll come.”
He shot me a look which was either incredulous or disgusted. “Well, shit. You kids will just have to play house without me.”
Kira might have been right about him. “Fine. Have you seen Casper?”
“CAS!” Teague bellowed.
Casper rolled out of the dark hallway, cursing and kicking a batch of loose papers. He picked up a wad and shook it at me. “It’s like they fucking cover it with maple syrup and wipe their dicks with it.”
I had no idea what to make of that statement. “Rachel wants you.”
His mood abruptly altered. He dropped the papers on the floor and took his shirt off, revealing an impressively muscular torso with a giant skull tattoo on his back. “I’m gonna go see my lady,” he slapped Teague on the shoulder and left the building.
“Fucking dog to the pussy,” Teague shook his head. He glanced up at me. “Why the hell are you still here?”
“Is it hard to be this goddamn miserable?” I asked him, crossing my arms.
He stared at me icily until I shuffled with discomfort and then he burst into ribald laughter. Teague finally shook his head and kicked a foot up on the table. “I hear your man coming,” he grumbled, pouring himself another shot.
I heard it too. The low buzz of approaching bikes. I turned around and walked outside.
“Hey Promise,” Teague called. When I turned around he looked me in the eye for the first time. “You look like a real woman now.”
Gray and Brandon were coasting down the road toward the Riverbottom. I saw Gray’s grin as he spotted me. I leaned against the building, letting the slit in my dress fall open enough to show my full leg. I knew the effect would be seductive.
Grayson stared at me hotly for a minute after he’d parked his bike and turned off the engine. I waited, running my hands along the bodice of the dress, remembering how it had felt to stand naked in front of him and push my hand inside my own body.
“Hey, baby,” he said softly, climbing off his bike.
I reached for him, clasping my arms around his neck.
“Wait,” he laughed. “I’m all sweaty and shit.”
“I like you all sweaty and shit.”
He ran his fingers through the fancy curls in my red hair. Then he raised his eyebrows and irritably spoke to someone at my back.
“Can I help you?”
Brandon stood right behind me, a grin splitting the middle of his hairy face as he looked me up and down.
“I want one,” he complained.
“She’s not a fucking puppy, Brandon!”
Brandon withdrew, sulking.
“Hey,” I called to him. “Dinner’s almost ready. We made dessert too.”
Brandon was pleased. “I’m all over that shit,” he said, heading toward the house.
Gray took my hands lightly in his. “I’m gonna go shower first.” He winked. “I don’t want to fuck up your fine outfit.”
“Oh please,” I responded mildly, “fuck me up.”
“I will, babe,” he assured me, backing up with a grin, “I’ve got plans for you tonight.”
“The right man,” I muttered under my breath, remembering my conversation in the kitchen with Kira.
Dinner was a loud and raucous affair with a lot of good natured profanity and cheerfully bad manners. Kira’s plans for napkins and fine dining was thrown out with a hand wave from Orion. She didn’t seem to mind. She curled into his lap and nibbled on a carrot stick.
Orion ran his hands over her legs. “I remember this dress,” he said in a husky voice. It was a short black number which clung to her everywhere it counted.
She tossed back her blonde hair and grinned at him meaningfully. “You damn well better.”
Brandon was explaining Maddox’s absence to me. “He took a ride out to Phoenix. Chasing some hot college snatch he met at a gas station where she stopped on her way to ASU. These little Cali girls go big for bike dick.” He winked at Kira. She flipped him off.
I took a drink of Gray’s beer. “Well, I hope he gets it.”
Brandon looked at me blankly.
“The snatch,” I clarified.
Brandon laughed. “He always does.”
Gray’s hand rested lightly on my thigh much of the time, a gesture of sweet possession. He kept shooting fervent sidelong looks my way. I was glad I had let Rachel talk me into wearing the dress. It was dizzying, knowing how much he wanted me.
Sometimes I observed Casper and Rachel with fascination. They weren’t as provocative as Kira and Orion, who often seemed like they were one zipper tug away from going at it in front of a crowd. I had never heard Rachel say the word ‘love’ when she was talking to or about Casper, but the depth of feeling between them was palpable. He rubbed her back and gazed at her with almost shining worship and she leaned over and nuzzled him, kissing his jaw as if she knew his thoughts and appreciated them.
It was all so different from the cold manners of my own parents. My father would pass his obligatory nights in my mother’s house in quiet politeness. Once Jenny and I were tucked in they would retreat to their neighboring bedroom. I would try not to hear the sounds of what went on in there. Sex had always been an obscure mystery to me, just
something to be endured.
I watched Grayson as he and Casper joked across the table about prison food. Apparently the fare left a lot to be desired. His hand idly rubbed my thigh and I placed my own hand over his, pressing firmly as I slid his hand casually upward. He noticed, shifting in his seat and raising his eyebrows at me. I bit my lip and smiled, letting him know that I couldn’t wait to be alone with him. Gray leaned over and kissed me full on the lips and I flung my arms around him, loving that he did impulsive things like that.
Casper was saying something about Teague. “Getting worse,” he nodded.
Orion grimaced and set his fork down. “That’s a bitch,” he shook his head.
Gray noticed the question in my eyes. “Rheumatoid arthritis,” he said quietly. “He can’t sit a bike for too long anymore.”
I thought about the older man sitting alone in a bar clenching his fist painfully as he tried to drink and forget. I felt a pang of sympathy for him, no matter how ornery he was.
Kira scoffed at me when I put a plate together for Teague. I loaded it up with dinner and a sampling of the desserts which didn’t fall into Brandon’s eager mouth, covering the whole thing with tinfoil.
“He’ll just grumble and throw it in the fucking dirt,” she said, sitting on the counter and nibbling a Dean Man’s Bone.
I shrugged. “He might. But at least I’ll have made the gesture.”
Kira laughed. “You’re too good, Promise. You make the rest of us look like the sorry assholes that we are.”
“You’re not,” I said seriously. “You’re all wonderful.”
Rachel turned from the wink and squeezed me lightly around the waist. “Go,” she said. “Before Gray explodes. I’ll clean this shit up.”
When I returned to the living room, Gray was standing in the far corner, talking quietly with Orion and Casper. I started to walk that way but he shot me a warning look. He’d already explained to me how it was; Defiant club business was not for my ears. I hung back, setting the plate on the table and sliding into a chair, waiting.
Only Brandon remained at the table, eating what was left of the biscuits and drinking directly from a bottle of red wine.
“You should open a damn restaurant,” he said, belching lightly. Then he nodded toward Gray, dropping his usual foolishness and being serious for a moment. “He’s so fucking happy, you know.”
I was pleased. “Yeah?”
Brandon gave me a sincere smile. “Yeah,” he said.
“Me too,” I said quietly.
The men finished their conversation and Gray ambled over, letting his arm travel automatically around me. “What are you telling my girl?”
Brandon took another drink. “I was telling her the truth. That it’s good to see you whipped.”
“Hey fuck you, man.”
Brandon held up a hand in mock defense. “I’m not fucking with you. I want to be whipped.”
“Why don’t you follow Mad around and take his leftovers? There’s plenty.”
“Screw that. There’s only so much casual skank pussy you can do.”
“How philosophical.” Grayson jerked his head in my direction. “Anyway, watch the language, dipshit.”
Brandon waved a hand. “Ah, she’s one of us.” He rose suddenly and grabbed me in a great hairy bear hug, his rough beard tickling my shoulder. Then he hugged Gray, slapping him hard on the back. “Shit, I love you guys.”
“Just don’t kiss me, you fucking Wookie.” Gray slapped him back. “Love you too, buddy.”
I was always captivated by the casual banter of the men. They were so rough with each other, yet there was an undercurrent of strong affection no matter what. It was, as Gray had said, a family.
Gray tried to nudge me towards Teague’s door with the plate of food but I stayed back, watching in the swiftly falling dusk as he knocked. Teague emerged looking tired and worn. He poked at the foil on the plate and looked underneath, then shook his head with a smile. He smacked Gray lightly on the shoulder and then he peered behind him, searching me out with an appreciative nod before disappearing indoors.
“Now,” I said, taking Gray’s arm as we walked the remaining distance home. “How about you tell me more about those plans for tonight?”
His hand dropped to my waist. His voice was low. “You like it when I talk shit, don’t you?”
“I love it.” I pushed my hand under his shirt, running my fingers along his hot skin.
He grabbed my hand, yanking me around the corner of my old trailer, backing me into the hard aluminum wall and putting a powerful arm on either side of me, trapping me in a delicious way.
He ran his hands up and down my body, his eyes taking me in with dangerous hunger. “I want to fuck you from every angle, baby.”
“How?” I parted my legs a little, letting his muscular thigh slide between them and then grinding hard. “How will you fuck me, Gray?”
He began kneading my breasts and I leaned into him. “I think I’ll take you from behind after you suck me off for a while.”
“In front of the mirror?”
“Hell yes, in front of the mirror.”
I clutched his neck as he kissed the delicate skin along my collarbone and dipped his head lower. I felt his hands going around my back, searching for the zipper of the dress and finding it. The blanket of night was settling fast. I heard Orion’s deep voice and Kira’s playful response as they lingered out of sight outside by the house. None of the other trailers were in direct line of sight and it was highly unlikely someone would come rustling out of the desert brush in the dark. Yet somehow the idea that someone might see us was oddly exciting.
“Grayson,” I whispered as the dress straps fell from my shoulders. “I’m not wearing any underwear.”
He reached and felt for himself, groaning. “Shit, you’re crazy.”
“You love it.”
“I love you, Promise.”
“Then fuck me.” I reached down and unbuckled his pants, smiling at the stiff greeting I got. “Fuck me now.”
“Goddamn it,” he moaned, entering me as I climbed to his waist to give him better access. He paused, hard inside my body, looking me in the eyes as the coyotes began their night music. “I can’t believe you’re mine.”
I pressed on his shoulders, pushing myself up and down, riding him. “I’m yours, Gray,” I breathed. “Always.”
He spun abruptly so that his back was against the dirty wall of the trailer. His hands reached underneath the soft drapery of the dress and gripped the flesh of my backside as he moved my body decisively up and down. “Always,” he confirmed, quickening his pace. “Always.”
“Yes,” I agreed, and then my body seized with the usual convulsion of bliss as I said his name again and again, my voice mingling with the animated songs of the coyotes.
We shook in one another’s arms and stayed still for several long minutes, until we were strong enough to separate and walk the few yards to Gray’s trailer.
As soon as we were inside he promptly undressed me.
I teased him. “Ready again this soon?”
“No,” he shook his head, removing his pants nonetheless. “But I still want to feel you.”
He led me to the bed and laid down, pulling me on top of him. The muscles between my legs still pulsed and begged. I knew enough about myself by now to realize I could climax again quickly. Gray had learned the ways of my body too. His hands stroked my back, my thighs, reaching between them so that he could satisfy me again.
“Not yet,” I whispered, closing him off. I wanted to wait for him. We kissed deeply for a long time, his hands wound roughly in my hair, our tongues teasing one another. When he began hardening underneath me, he started to roll me over on the bed.
“No,” I stopped him, rising and straddling his thickly muscular frame.
He pushed himself inside, rocking slightly underneath me. “This how you want it, angel?”
“Yes,” I smiled wryly, remembering what Kira had said about being
on top. “I’m testing out a theory.”
“Well then,” he gripped my hips, “use me as you see fit, Miss Promise.”
“Gray,” I moaned, tossing my head back and starting to move more aggressively.
He knew what I wanted to hear. “You’re so beautiful, baby.” His hands fondled my breasts, grazing the nipples in a tease before he seized me again tightly. “You get me so fucking hard I can’t think. I want you all the goddamn time. I used to jerk off five times a day thinking about you. I wanted to be inside of you just like this.”
“Yes,” I whispered, bucking more fervently, getting closer and closer. “Just like this. I love you, Gray.”
“I love you, honey. Now come on, I can feel how hot you’re getting. Let go and come hard. Scream it. Jesus, fuck yeah. There you go. Shit, I’m gonna come inside you now.”
I didn’t let up as I felt him stiffen and shoot his hot release deep. It was exhilarating, being in control that way. I let him slide out me with reluctance and he pulled me sharply down to his side. His kiss, though, was gentle.
“I mean it, Promise. I always mean it.”
I clutched him sleepily. “I know, Grayson. I do too.”
Chapter Twenty One
There was the persistent sound of hammering. I moved toward it down a narrow hallway, pushing aside the gauzy films of white wedding dress tulle which choked and threatened to overcome me. It seemed the fabric was alive and clutched at my limbs insidiously as I tried desperately to move past it to the place the hammering was coming from. It seemed important that I reach the source of the noise. I fought my way out of the web and was afraid. I whispered his name, the one name which had ever brought me peace, but there was no answer. I knew that if I turned the corner I would see something terrible. Yet I had to turn the corner. There was nowhere else to go but backwards and that was impossible. My eyes blinked at the sight in front of me. A human-sized bird was pecking at the thick wall which we were both trapped behind. I gasped and it turned around. It had the beseeching face of my sister.
I awoke with a soundless scream. Gray’s warm chest was under my cheek and I nuzzled him, grateful for the strong, close sound of his heartbeat. His arms circle me in his sleep. But I could still hear the hammering.