I put the final touches on the food and place them on a tray. “Sort of.” The door swings open and Luke walks in holding his stomach.
“Dad, I’m hungry. When can we eat?”
Henry looks at me and shrugs. “Your kids hungry?”
“Probably.”
“Yeah, we’re all hungry. Can we get a pizza or something?” Luke has perfected the puppy eye stare, complete with a quivering bottom lip. Man, he’s good. I’m not his mom and I want to make him a pizza.
Turning to me, Henry tilts his head. “Your kids like pizza?”
I start to laugh. “Is the sky blue?”
“Currently it’s black because it’s nighttime.” Smartass. I narrow my eyes playfully at him. “Okay, any toppings they don’t like?”
I think for a second. “They tend to stick to pepperoni and sausage.”
Luke jumps up and down. “That’s my favorite!”
“Good deal. I’ll bring it out to you guys when it’s ready.”
Seemingly satisfied, Luke skips out of the kitchen, leaving the two of us alone again. A weird feeling passes through me; not quite nerves but not quite comfortable. I’ve noticed it happening the more I talk to Henry. I pick up my tray and smile his way.
“I better get these out there. Don’t want to make a bad impression on my first table.”
Henry winks at me behind the counter. “You’ll be great.” With that, I turn and leave, heading straight for the table without missing a step.
An hour passes and my cute couple thanks me for the meal. The restaurant never picked up in business after they came in, so I was able to talk with them for a while. Barb and Tom were extremely nice. Apparently, they’ve lived here their whole lives, yet I’ve never seen them. Then again, I don’t get out much and something tells me we don’t mingle in the same crowds. I doubt they attend PTA or soccer meetings.
The kids haven’t made a peep since we’ve been here, which is amazing. They even thanked Henry for the food and drinks while they stayed in the office area playing games with Lauren and Luke.
Nine o’clock rolls around and Stacy flips off the neon sign. “Closing time. My favorite part of the day.”
I wipe my brow as I lean against the mop. “I bet. This is a lot of work for a slow night.”
Stacy runs her reports and smiles. “When we’re slow like this, getting our side work done is a must. Less we need to do later, not to mention it keeps the place nice and tidy.”
I nod. “I can see why you’d want to do that. It’d be hard while you’re busy.”
“Exactly. Why don’t you put the mop away and come learn how to do your end of the night reports?”
I do as she asks and follow her to the bar where Troy is already working on counting out his till. Stacy explains to me the basics, letting me fill in the blanks as she rattles off the numbers. It’s self-explanatory. Cash in, tips out, count out your slips to make sure nothing’s missing, then put everything in a deposit envelope to toss into the safe.
“Pretty standard,” she says as she makes her deposit.
“Yeah, but I’ll probably need help on the first night.”
Stacy laughs. “Most of us did. Don’t worry, we won’t leave you hanging.” She checks her watch and grabs her coat. “Since Henry’s still here, I’m going to take off. You okay with that?”
I nod. “Yeah, I still need to round up my kids and get them home. It’ll be an early morning for them.”
Shaking my hand, Stacy says goodnight and heads out the back door. I walk over to the office where the kids are practically falling asleep on the desk. The four of them look so cute huddled together. Even Jacob is right next to them. I smile and put a hand to my heart. My sweet kids. This is why I’m doing it. For them.
Feet shuffle behind me and I turn to find Henry. “They all tuckered out?”
“Yeah,” I whisper. “I better get them home.” I wipe my hands over my face, doing my best to stifle a yawn in the process. When I remove them, Henry has a puzzled look on his face. “What?”
Taking my chin, he turns my head to meet the light. He widens his eyes and his mouth pulls down into a scowl. “What the hell is that?”
At first, I’m not sure what he’s talking about. Then I remember. The mishap during the night when my face decided to meet an immovable object. I try to pull away, but don’t get far when Henry places a hand on my shoulder.
“It’s nothing.”
“My ass. That’s a bruise.” His scowl deepens. When I meet his gaze, I turn away. Concern dances in his eyes, but it’s quickly being consumed with anger. He reaches up to touch it and I flinch away.
Wait. He doesn’t think…
“Oh, it’s nothing. I took a spill this morning since I got kicked out of my room by the lumberjack sleeping next to me.”
I’m not sure if my answer appeases him or not. It still looks like flames could shoot out of his nose at any minute. “If he did this, you can tell me, you know.” He gently runs a finger over the purple skin. This time I don’t pull away. His soft and tender touch pulls at my heartstrings. His concern takes me by surprise. Even Mike wasn’t concerned when I told him about it this afternoon.
“He didn’t.” I look away quickly and shrug. “I’m accident prone and tripped because the lights were off. Really, it’s nothing.”
A knowing look passes between us. Instinct kicks in and I step away. Things are getting too close. I need to back away and leave before he can read any more things my body wants to unknowingly tell him.
“Jocelyn.” Compassion oozes from his soft voice. It almost makes me want to stay and spill everything that’s happened over the last few weeks. Hell, the last few years when Mike started changing and things went downhill fast.
“I-I need to go. The kids have school and it’s late.” I check my watch and see it’s already ten o’clock. Way past our bedtimes.
Without giving him a chance to speak, I round up Jacob and Cassie with little resistance. They thank Henry for the food and tell Lauren and Luke they’ll see them tomorrow. Before we’re out the door, Henry places a hand on my arm, stopping my progress.
“Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you and Mike. And if you say it was an accident, I’ll believe you. But something is definitely up. I can see the sadness in your eyes. Please, talk to someone. I’m just looking out for your safety.”
Lifting my chin up, I push back the fear and force my heart to regain its regular rhythm. “I can handle it. Everything’s fine.”
“The more you say it, the less it sounds like a real word. It’s not fine. You’re not fine.”
I take a step back and turn to open the door. “Good night, Henry.”
Before he has the chance to reply, I quickly walk to the car where the kids are waiting for me to unlock it.
“Mom, tonight was fun. Can we do this again sometime?” Cassie asks.
“Yeah, Mr. Monroe is pretty cool,” Jacob adds.
I smile and make sure they’re buckled up. “You’re just saying that because you got free food. And I’m not sure if we can do it again. All depends on when I get scheduled.”
They both nod and yawn. Laying their heads back, their soft snores flood the car on the short drive back to the house. Unfortunately for me, my brain won’t shut off.
Henry has no right to talk to me like that. And to imply that something more is happening? Mike may be an asshole, but he would never harm me. At least not like he’s thinking. Though I will admit, having someone concerned about my well-being is nice. Makes me feel less alone.
After parking in the garage, I usher the kids inside, giving them their nightly instructions of brushing their teeth and going to bed. They don’t argue; only give incoherent grunts and moans. They’re more tired than I thought.
This day was overwhelming. Two jobs may throw me over the edge, but it’s a necessary evil I must endure. The survival of my family depends on it. And my sanity.
Henry’s words play on a continuous loop in my head. I don’t want to s
ee you get hurt. If only he knew the hurt I harbored inside. Being the age I am, you’d think I’d be over the need to feel wanted or included. But every day I feel more and more alone. No one to talk to, no one to hang out with. The only adult interaction I get is through screaming providers and the five minutes I talk to patrons at a table. I want more.
My phone pings next to me.
Henry: I’m not going to push, but if you need to talk, I’m here.
It’s like he knew what I needed to hear. Only I don’t have the energy to respond. It doesn’t stop the smile from forming as I lull myself into a deep sleep.
Mike hasn’t been around. Well, that’s not entirely true. He comes home and camps in the living room while I run around doing the dishes or laundry, making sure the house is presentable and livable. Dinners have been later since I need to make sure everything else is done first, including running the kids around and making sure their homework is finished. And yet, he just sits there, in his own little world, completely separate from ours.
Then there’s Henry. Avoiding him is like trying to avoid a mud puddle when you’re two-years-old. It’s tempting to jump into, knowing it’s messy and will require cleaning up afterward. He’s a temptation, one I can’t have. I need focus and drive to keep my family on track. Because I’m not getting any help from anyone else. If I have to do it alone, I have to be ready. Yet every time Henry texts me, I jump at the opportunity to reply. One message I let go for a whole five minutes before responding.
Jacob throws a fry at Cassie. “Quit kicking me under the table.”
Cassie retaliates with a fry of her own. “Stop making faces and I will.”
“Mom, make her stop.” It’s tempting to let them continue their bickering, but for the sake of sanity, I decide to intervene.
“If you don’t stop, Mr. Monroe will fire me and then the free food will be gone.” That straightened them out. Mess with their food? Few things keep their attention. Food happens to be one of them. I leave the two of them to eat while I go back to my tables. After the first night on my own, I’m starting to feel more confident in my new position. Saturday was incredibly busy. Stupid warm weather bringing all the tourists out. But I learned a lot in my seven-hour shift. Brad, one of the other servers, showed me how to properly load my tray to get the maximum plates on while keeping it balanced. Then walked me through the evening close shift again. It was good because in the few days between shifts, I had forgotten everything I needed to do. At the end of the day, I had an extra one hundred and fifty dollars in my pocket. Can’t complain about that.
Saturday also taught me that I needed to hide my money. When I went to go buy groceries on Sunday morning, I ended up putting things back because the money I was banking on wasn’t there. Mike grabbed all but thirty dollars, leaving me humiliated as I told the cashier I could only afford the basics.
Tonight is a little busier than my other midweek shift, but Stacy called me in a panic since Ashley has the flu and was still out. Mike didn’t care, as long as I took the kids with me. He had things to do at home…like watching the basketball game and drinking himself into a coma.
“Thanks, Jocelyn. You’ve been great tonight.” Stacy pats my shoulder as I sit at the bar and count out my money.
I look up and smile. “It’s getting easier. I’m definitely less apprehensive about everything.”
Her reassuring grin calms the storm brewing in my stomach. “You’re doing just fine. I’ve had nothing but compliments about your service and attentiveness. Not one person has said anything negative, including the staff. Seems you’re fitting in just fine.”
It’s exactly what I needed to hear, in more ways than one.
I fit in somewhere.
Henry wasn’t in tonight, which was probably good. If it weren’t for the weekends, I’d probably request to work on the nights he’s not here. Then I wouldn’t need to worry about avoiding conversations that really don’t concern him.
At the end of the night, Stacy waves goodbye as I turn the last of the stools up on top of the tables. Jacob and Cassie are watching a movie on my phone. This is the most they’ve behaved in…I don’t know how long. It’s like I get them away from the house–and Mike–and they’re two completely different children. The same could be said for me. Even though I’m not doing much, I’m not as anxious or scared. I don’t hold my words or bite my tongue. It’s freeing to joke with others about stupid shit that would earn me snide remarks at home.
Shoving my apron into my oversized bag–another thing I’ve learned to bring when I come here. Before I have the chance to look up, I run smack into someone standing behind me. Fear grips me briefly since we were supposed to be the only people in the restaurant.
“Hey, it’s just me,” the familiar voice says. I turn and find Henry wearing a baseball cap pulled low over his brow.
I press a hand to my chest and take a deep, gasping breath. “You scared the shit out of me.”
The keys jingle in his hands. “Sorry,” he says with a chuckle.
I shake my head and sling my bag over my shoulder. “What are you doing here?” Isn’t that the million-dollar question of the night?
Henry bites his bottom lip. I try not to focus on the complete sexiness of the action as he eyes me cautiously. “I was in the area and wanted to see how your night went. We didn’t get to talk much on Saturday since I had the kids waiting for me at home.”
“In the area? You live ten miles away. And it’s ten o’clock at night.” It’s probably the lamest excuse I’ve heard, but it doesn’t stop my heart from beating a smidge faster at the thought of him driving all the way out here just for me.
He takes a tentative step closer. “I’m a night owl. I get bored and restless when I’m home by myself, so I like to go out for drives.” I raise a brow in response. “Judge me all you want, but I really was in the area.”
Alarms go off in my head, warning me that I should stay away. As I look at his face–a face that has grown on me over the last few weeks–something about him begs me to stand my ground. In all the years I’ve put up with Mike and his hot-and-cold temperament, Henry is the first to show any sort of interest in my feelings.
Ignoring the bells, I take a step closer, leaving a couple feet of space between us. “I’m fine,” I say, in answer to his question from before. “The kids are tired and everything is clean so I was heading home.”
Henry looks around with a satisfied grin. “You’re doing great here. I’m glad you decided to give us a try.”
Us. There’s a word that could have a double meaning. I’m fooling myself if I haven’t thought of him on more than one occasion while dreaming. Maybe it’s his kindness toward others that spurs me on. Or his huge heart and constant need to give back.
“I heard you donated all the food to the PTA carnival next month,” I say, changing the subject. I need to get off the topic of us and route it to something easier to deal with.
Warm blue eyes greet mine, crinkling in the corners from his grin. “It was nothing. Tax write-off.”
I shake my head. “It’s more than that. Every drop of money from the dinner sale will go straight to the playground fund, rather than to offset the cost of food. It’s amazing.”
Taking a chance, I move closer. Henry does the same and runs a hand down my arm. Tiny pinpricks bring my skin to life. The air feels hot and cold, though it could just be the rapid warming of my face as I lose myself in his smile.
Whatever spell Henry had on me breaks when I hear a throat clear behind us. I turn and find Cassie rubbing her eyes while yawning.
“Are you done yet, Mom?” Shit, my poor babies are exhausted. They’re not going to be ready for school in the morning and it’ll be my fault. If only I could leave them home. They’re old enough to stay by themselves. I just don’t want them to be ignored by their father as the self-destructs.
Walking past Henry, I cup my baby’s cheek. “Yes, sweetie. We’re going home. Go get your brother.”
Cassie
nods and leans to look around me. “Hi, Mr. Monroe. Your pizza is so much better than Greg’s.”
“Cassie!”
She shrugs. “It’s true.”
Henry laughs and ruffles her hair. “It’ll be our secret.”
That seems to appease her as she takes off toward the office to collect her brother. Once alone, the tension returns. Of course, this could all be in my head. Henry looks cool, calm, and collected. I feel like a hot mess. There may be more grease on my face than anywhere else in the restaurant. At one point, my hair was pulled neatly back into my clip. Now it’s in disarray with too many tendrils falling around my face.
Henry doesn’t seem to mind as he brushes a piece away from my eyes. “Probably shouldn’t keep you. Like I said, I was in the neighborhood and wanted to see how you were doing.”
It takes everything in me not to read more into his words than what’s on the surface. He’s my friend, my boss. And Mike is at home, poised to ignore me and remind me of what my life has become.
“Thanks for checking on me.” Jacob and Cassie stand behind Henry and I wave. “Gotta go. I’ll see you later.”
He doesn’t say anything more as I gather our stuff together and shuffle out to the car. The heaviness in my stomach eases as he watches me out the door, making sure we cross the parking lot without issues.
Just as I thought, Mike is passed out in his chair, cans and bottles littered around him. The pyramid is impressive, though it makes me ill to think he drank that many beers in this short amount of time.
Jacob and Cassie head to their rooms while I attempt to regain control of the living room. Before I grab the last can, Mike stirs and snorts awake.
“Where have you been?” The words are muffled and slurred as he sits up. Even though I was expecting this greeting, the contempt in his sleepy voice is still enough to send chills across my skin.
“At work. I told you there was an emergency tonight and I had to work an extra shift. Remember, you made me bring the kids?”
“Oh,” he grumbles and attempts to stand. On the third try, he makes it on unsteady feet.
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