by Kate L. Mary
Greer stopped in front of a door and when he pulled a ring of keys from his pocket, they clanged together and echoed down the silent hall. Only a moment passed before he had the cell open, and then I was shoved inside. I stumbled and fell to my knees on the cold stone, and I had just enough time to get a look around before the door slammed shut behind me.
I was plunged into darkness so thick that I was unable to see my hand when I held it in front of my face, but it was irrelevant. There was nothing in the room other than stone walls and a stone floor, so I curled up and hugged my knees to my chest, hoping to hold myself together. With the way I was trembling, I doubted I would be able to pull it off.
An indiscernible amount of time passed where I stayed in that position. My knees tucked against my chest, my arms hugging them as if they were the only things keeping me from cracking to pieces. The door was thick, but the pounding of footsteps still managed to penetrate it, and every time they drew near I found my body growing stiff as I waited to find out if this was the moment I was dreading. It happened over and over again until I began to wonder if they were teasing me. Playing a game in hopes of making me crack and crumble to pieces.
When the door was finally ripped open it came with no warning. Light flooded the room, making it impossible to see who was standing in front of me, and then two figures charged in. Though I tried to brace myself for what came next, I was still unprepared when they jerked me to my feet and I was dragged out into the cold hallway.
My eyes had almost completely adjusted to the light by the time I was pulled onto the stage. Greer and another guard whose name I did not know hauled me forward, each one gripping an arm as if two huge men were necessary to keep me in line. The square was no longer empty, and the air throbbed with anticipation, the glee even thicker than the humidity during the peek of summer. Saffron stood front and center, wrapped in her cloak as usual, the thick fabric protecting her from the hot sun pounding down on the city. Lysander and Bastian wore robes as well, each of them in their chairs, and across their laps they had identical electroprods ready and waiting in case they were needed.
I searched the stage for Bodhi, but he was nowhere in sight. Mira was present though, standing in line with the other housemaids, her face streaked in tears. Then there was Asa. He was in the last line of Fortis guards, and he stared at me openly as I was dragged by him, his brown eyes giving off an emotion that both confused me and made my steps clumsy.
“Bring her here,” Saffron ordered, pointing her electroprod at the ground by her side.
The men pulled me to the front of the stage, and once there I was pushed to my knees, right next to Saffron. I had expected to be bound, but I found my hands free. Was it a test? A message? If I obeyed Saffron she would be merciful, but if I moved I would be punished more severely. If that was her plan, she would be disappointed. It was impossible to care about what they were going to do to me, not with everything else going on, and I had no intention of being still. Bodhi was my husband, and if I had to die trying, I would have my goodbye.
When Greer and the other guard had taken their places in line, the doors at the back of the stage once again opened. I twisted my body so I could get a better look, and seconds later Bodhi was pulled from the building, squinting from the bright light. He was struggling, but his arms were behind his back and two large men flanked him. It would be no use. He was no match for the Fortis, and even if he did somehow manage to get away, there were more than a dozen other men and women lined up on the stage at his back and even more throughout the square. Bodhi had no chance. None of us did.
He was brought to the center of the stage and pushed down on his knees just as I had been. Our positions were too far apart to allow us to touch, but close enough that it made my stomach lurch. Saffron had been serious about me having a front row seat.
“This Outlier is accused of attempted murder,” she began, her voice ringing through the square and bringing a stop to all conversation. “He not only broke into my home, but he attacked my son.” She waved her electroprod in Lysander’s direction. “For the crime of attempted murder, he will be put to death right here, right now. By beheading.”
The world swayed and I had to put my hands on the ground to stop from falling over. Mira’s sobs were the only thing I could hear. I knew there had to be more noises, whispers from the crowd or the wind, but I could hear none of them. I looked toward my husband as I tried to wrap my brain around what was about to happen, and I found him watching me. He had one tear on his cheek. One single tear that had escaped from his right eye and was now making a trail down his face.
Movement at his back caught my eye and I shifted my gaze. A man was walking forward, a sword in his hand. The sun glinted off the blade and I squinted, but still it was impossible to make sense of the scene in front of me. Sobs made me look back, past the man. Mira was crying harder than ever. So hard that her shoulders shook.
Crying for me.
Crying for Bodhi.
Because he was about to be killed.
Everything seemed to hit me at once. The emotionless way Saffron had announced my husband’s death, the gleam in Lysander’s eyes, the cool way the guard looked at Bodhi as he carried the sword forward. It slammed into me, forcing the air out of my lungs and nearly knocking me on my ass. Bodhi was about to die.
“No,” I mumbled, and then I started crawling. “No.”
The tears came out like a faucet had been turned on behind my eyes. Bodhi was shaking his head, telling me to stay back. I was unable to stop. I crawled faster, and then scrambled to my feet. Behind me Saffron was shouting for me to get back in position, still I refused to stop, refused to even look at her. All I could do was run to my husband and pray that this was a nightmare.
I dropped to the ground in front of Bodhi and threw my arms around him. I kissed his cheeks as I sobbed and hugged him. His arms did not go around me back, and when I realized he still had his hands tied, I tried to undo the knot. I just wanted his arms around me one more time. I wanted to feel safe for one final moment, because I knew that after today I would never feel that way again. Not if Bodhi was gone. Not if I were left alone.
“I love you,” I said, still trying to undo the knot. Hands grabbed me and pulled me away from him, and I screamed out, “I love you!”
“I love you, Indra,” Bodhi called as I was dragged away. “I am sorry. I am so sorry.”
I clawed at the ground, trying to get to him. My nails broke and my fingers began to bleed, but I felt none of it. I felt nothing but the shattering of my heart, and I was certain that it would crush me.
When I was far enough away from Bodhi, the guard who had grabbed me pushed me onto my stomach. A knee was pressed against my spine, reminding me of the day Ronan had lost his hand, and then a voice whispered in my ear, “Be still, Indra, or you’ll die too. Your husband wouldn’t want that.”
I kept my eyes forward, but Asa’s words somehow reached me when nothing else had and I stopped fighting. Bodhi was back in position. On his knees, facing forward with his hands tied behind his back, and the man with the sword was behind him. Time seemed to freeze as my husband looked my way one last time. The blue eyes I had known for as long as I could remember held mine, and a million memories went through my head. Us as children, playing in the forest, Bodhi chasing me as I laughed, always just a little bit faster than him. Later out in the woods before my father died, knowing that he loved me. Our wedding day, kneeling side by side as his father carved the passage markings onto our foreheads. Our wedding night, the cave, standing looking at the ruins, Bodhi holding me, Bodhi kissing me, Bodhi promising to love me forever. Bodhi telling me that he would never leave me.
He blinked and looked away, and then the blade was cutting through the air, the metal seeming to glow in the rays of the sun. Then, in the blink of an eye, Bodhi was gone. Forever.
Asa’s knee left my back, but I stayed where I was. I was unable to move. Around me the world shifted. People moved and Bodhi’s body wa
s carried away, to where I had no clue. Still I stayed on the ground. Tears fell from my eyes. The sobs from earlier had melted away and in their place a feeling of nothingness had settled over me. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. I felt dead.
Even when strong hands pulled me up I felt nothing. They dragged me forward, right through the puddle of blood that had pooled on the platform, and back to the center of the stage where I was forced down once again. Floggings had become so commonplace that I almost felt as if I had been here before, on my stomach in front of hundreds of people, my cheek pressed against the cold ground. Only I had not, and even in my numb state I knew that the shattering of my world had only begun. Bodhi’s death was just the beginning, and the Sovereign would never let me leave here today until they had dominated me in every way possible.
My hair was pushed aside and someone slid the blade of a knife down the back of my dress, cutting the fabric away and exposing the flawless skin beneath. Had I not fought they would have gone easier on me. It was too late to do anything else, and even if I could redo it, I would have done nothing different.
In the midst of this crisis, I had forgotten all about my injuries from the day before. When they tied my hands together the sensitive skin on my wrists cried out, reminding me of what had already been done to my body. How much more could I go through and still live? I already felt half dead, maybe more than half, and now they were going to whip me.
“Just kill me,” I found myself whispering.
Saffron came to stand at my side, looking down at me from under her hood with cool eyes. “This will teach you a much greater lesson.”
She turned away and nodded, and then she was gone and the same man who had removed my husband’s head from his body took her place. The whip in his hand was the same one I had seen dozens of times over the last few months, and I knew what was coming. I closed my eyes and waited for the pain.
The first strike sent a rush of agony across my back and caused my whole body to jerk. I screamed, and before the sound had a chance to fade away, the whip struck my back a second time. Another cry came out of my mouth. The third strike was the same, but after that I was sobbing too hard to get more than whimpers out.
Saffron had not told me how many lashes I would receive, and I lost count after five, but it seemed to go on forever. It was pain on top of pain, and there seemed to be no break between lashes. Over and over again the man brought the whip down until the world around me grew dark, and when that happened, I was finally given the relief I had been craving since the moment Bodhi was caught.
I was on the ground when I regained consciousness, still lying on my stomach. It was hard under my body, but cool against my skin, and compared to the heat that licked at my back, it was almost comforting. It was as if I could feel every single place the whip had lashed against my skin, all of the cuts and welts throbbing at once.
“Indra.” Mira knelt at my side, and when my eyes focused, I realized I was still on the stage.
I looked toward the square to find that it had begun to clear out. A few people still hung around, staring at me as if I were on display, but most were leaving. I turned my head, groaning when the muscles in my back flexed, making my whole body scream out in pain. The chairs Saffron and her family had been sitting in were empty, and beyond that the housemaids had left as well. There were still a few Fortis guards milling around though, and I wondered what they were waiting for. Did they have orders to take me back to the dark cell? To whip me again when I woke? Did some other horror await me now that I had finally regained consciousness?
“The doctor is coming,” Mira said, drawing my gaze back to her. “Saffron said to wait for him. Once he has a chance to look at you, we can leave.”
I nodded and more pain licked at my back, making me cry out.
“Try not to move,” Mira whispered. She reached out like she was going to touch me, but her hands stayed hovered above my body.
I wanted to point out that we had an hour walk ahead of us. Right now I was unable to muster even enough strength to get the words out, let alone think about the long trek through the borderland. Not when I had no idea how I would get through it.
Mira stood and I watched from my place on the ground as she walked across the podium. She stopped in front of Asa, and even through the painful haze clouding my brain I was shocked when she met his gaze. They spoke for only a moment, much too far away for me to catch even a single word, and then Asa left and Mira headed back to me.
Before I could ask her anything the same doctor who had examined Ronan appeared. He was an older man with frizzy white hair and a scowl that told me he thought examining Outliers was beneath him, but he did his job and looked me over.
“It will heal fine,” he said.
His fingers brushed my back and my body jerked. I let out a hiss of pain as I squeezed my eyes shut. The doctor said something else but I had no idea what it was. Mira was there though, she would tell me what I needed to know.
When I opened my eyes, my gaze focused on a dark spot in front of me. It was small, no bigger than the tip of my thumb, and at first I was unable to figure out what it was. Instinctively, though, I knew it was important. I knew it had something to do with what had happened here today.
Then my brain focused on the fact that it was blood and it all came back. It was Bodhi’s blood. He had died here today, killed by the Sovereign. Beheaded and tossed aside like he was nothing. The tears that filled my eyes blurred out the spot, but they did nothing to erase what I had witnessed here today. Nothing ever would.
“Indra.” Mira pressed something against my lips. “Drink this. It will dull the pain so we can get home.”
I obeyed, sucking the sweet liquid down as I thought about the day not that long ago when I had done the same thing for Ronan.
We did not wait for the drug to take affect, and when Mira helped me to my feet it was the most excruciating experience I had ever been through—with the exception of watching my husband die. I sank my teeth into my bottom lip, trying to bite back the gasps of pain, but it was no use. I could do nothing without causing myself more suffering. Not stand, not walk, not even breathe. Every move hurt, and I knew that the agony would remain long after my physical injuries had healed.
I barely remembered getting through the city, but before I knew it we were in front of the gate. Mira stayed with me every step of the way, just as she had yesterday, only today I felt certain that even with her help I would be unable to make it home.
“Mira.” We were only a few steps out of the city, but already I felt as if I were going to collapse. “I cannot go on.”
She wrapped her arm more firmly around me and I bit back a cry of pain. “You just have a little further to go. Hold on.”
She had said the same thing yesterday, only then I had been able to cling to the lie and pretend it was true. Today, it was impossible. Not with the Fortis village stretching out in front of us for what seemed like forever. Not with our enemies lining up to watch my continued destruction.
“No.” I stopped walking and tried to sit down. “I cannot.”
Mira pulled me forward, refusing to allow me to sink down the way I wanted to. She was sobbing again, her body shaking as she pulled on me. “Walk, Indra. Now. You cannot give up.” Her words were nearly drowned out by her sobs. “Do not leave me. Promise that you will never leave me.”
The words rang through my head, reminding me of last night in my hut, lying next to Bodhi. I had said almost the same thing to him, but he had broken the promise and left me, and now I was in pieces. Not just physically, either. My back was shredded, I knew that without being able to see it, but so were my insides. Bodhi had left me, and in the process I had been ripped apart.
I refused to do that to my friend. Refused to put my sister and mother through that if I could prevent it.
“I will never leave you, Mira.” I forced my legs to move. “I promise.”
By some miracle we made it through the village,
and then passed into the boundary lands. The edges of my vision were dark, as if the fingers of death were trying to pull me to the underworld, but I was still able to make out Asa in the distance. He stood beside the rock that concealed our weapons, and at his side was a horse. The sight of him brought me to my knees.
“Indra,” he gasped out my name as he rushed to kneel in front of me.
His hands stopped just short of touching me. I was unsure if it was because of what had happened earlier in the mudroom, or because he was afraid of hurting me.
“Thank you,” Mira gasped from above me.
Asa looked up at her and then back at me. “This is my fault. I wasn’t there to protect you yesterday and I’ll never forgive myself for it, but I will make sure you get home.” He held his hand out. “Let me help you.”
I took his hand just as Mira grabbed my arm, and between the two of them I was able to get to my feet. Getting on the horse was another story. Asa was tall, which helped, but every move I made was agony and there was no way to get myself seated on the animal without excruciating pain. By the time I had managed it, with a lot of help from both Asa and Mira, my face was streaked in tears.
My head was swimming, and I felt certain that if I had to remain sitting up I would pass out, so I leaned forward and rested my head against the horse’s mane, holding onto his neck so I did not fall off. Mira climbed on behind me and gingerly held onto my waist so she would know if I started to lose my balance while Asa took his place at the front of the horse. He urged the animal to walk, and each step was torturous. Not just because of the pain though, but also because it brought me closer to home. I wanted to be back in my village, back with my mother and Anja, but I also knew that once we arrived I would have a long road of healing ahead of me. Both physically and emotionally.