Lailah (The Styclar Saga)

by Nikki Kelly

  I ran and ran, shouting his name. I tried his cell repeatedly, but his phone was switched off. I hadn’t the first clue where he’d be, or if he would even want to talk to me if I did find him, but I had to try.

  * * *

  I’D WALKED AN HOUR away from the house; green fields spread out as far as the eye could see. Finally a stream with a small brick bridge caught my attention. The sky was overcast and the chill in the air made the hair along the bare skin of my arms stand on end. It was so quiet out here.

  So few people; so few anything.

  I made my way to the bridge. The air grew damp, making me cold and uncomfortable. I called Jonah’s name once more and then, like magic, a figure appeared next to the stream. I was too far away to make out his face, but I decided it had to be him. “Jonah!”

  The figure dissolved and reappeared with his back to me at the center of the bridge. I ran toward him, thinking of what I might say. I hoped he would forgive my unkind words; I hoped he would accept my apology.

  As I neared, he disappeared again.

  “Jonah?”

  I peered down at the water. A thin layer of ice had formed on the top of the stream and I hesitated as I urged my feet to move forward. The side of the bridge was only as high as my knee. A bramble snapped on the other end and I knew he must be waiting. As I made my way across, the wind suddenly whipped at my cheeks and in a blink he stood directly in front of me.

  Only it wasn’t Jonah.

  “Ethan?”

  He was still wearing dated clothing, and his dirty-blond hair was swept away from his face, tied in a loose ponytail behind his neck. He studied my expression, before he raised his finger to my lips and made a low shushing noise.

  “Lailah … you’re alive.”

  He used my name, my first name, my only name.

  I nodded, his finger still pressed against my chapped lips.

  “You should be long dead and so should I.”

  He spoke in the smoothest and most elegant South East accent I had ever heard; even the wealthiest men I had met from London sounded common by comparison. His black pupils were dilated and I couldn’t tell if he meant me harm or not.

  I should have been scared, standing nose-to-nose with a Vampire, but instead I felt sadness. The images I had seen flickered through my mind, of a time when he was just a boy, and I was just a girl. When we were both someone else, and something to each other. I was able to see beyond his deadly exterior now, to the friend I had once known.

  “You owe me some retribution.” He forced an unhappy smile.

  So he did mean me harm.

  I spared a second to peek down at the icy stream below as the thought of jumping crossed my mind. His eyes flashed from mine to over my shoulder. The rickety bridge wobbled underneath us with the slamming of heavy feet, and I was thrown to the side as another body launched over me, knocking Ethan onto his back. I regained my balance just in time to see Jonah glance at me, while Ethan, growling, pulled him down by his ankles.

  As Jonah’s body fell to the ground, his tremendous weight knocked into me and before I could grab onto him—grab onto anything—I tripped and fell over the ledge.

  Jonah’s hand reached out for me but, trapped by Ethan’s grasp, he wasn’t nearly close enough as I slammed chest-first into the icy water.

  The sound of the world around me gave way to an inaudible force of nature as the undercurrent swept me downstream. The fall had winded me and now water filled my lungs as I gasped for air. The sheer pain of the freezing cold ate its way to my core, as though it were stripping me of my skin.

  The ice formed a thick covering here, and I desperately hit it, as my body traveled against my will, to no avail. My eyes were open but the water was murky. I realized with heavy dread I was going to die and I would be right back to square one: a blank page in an unfinished novel.

  I clung to my fragile life. As the impossible task of staying alive raced through my mind, so too did an image of Gabriel’s face, imprinted in my memory till the true end of my days.

  First my arms failed me and then I could no longer feel my legs. I became unable to hold off the darkness that was filling me. As the water slowly suffocated me, static pulsed in and out of my mind like an old, broken TV failing to pick up reception.

  But then something—someone—grabbed my arms and propelled my body out of the water, breaking through the white seal. I couldn’t open my eyes, I couldn’t breathe; I was barely aware of anything around me.

  “Cessie! Cessie!”

  The voice was distant; I thought I might be underwater still. Only the superhuman strength of a Vampire shaking me violently could break through my semiconsciousness. I might be immortal, but I was cursed with a delicate human form.

  Fresh air traveled through me as I felt lips parting mine. The water in my lungs was heavy, and I choked, leaning to the side and coughing up the dirty liquid. My rescuer rubbed my back painfully hard, helping me expel it.

  Eyelids twitching, the blur in my vision began to refocus. The bridge looked far away, covered by fog. Now sitting on the bank of the stream, I began to tremble uncontrollably.

  “You’re okay, beautiful, I’m here.… Just breathe.”

  There was a softness to him and, in my confused state, I could have almost mistaken his comfort for Gabriel’s. Jonah pushed my soaked hair back from my face, scooping it behind my shoulders.

  “I’m so sorry,” I began, while he rubbed my bare arms, trying to warm me. “I should never have said the things I did.”

  “You were right, Cessie. I’m no better than them,” Jonah said, taking my icy hands in his. “Don’t worry, take your time. That was quite a fall.”

  I absorbed his glowing hazel gaze. I reached my fingers to his cheeks and stroked them softly. “You’re not a monster, you were saving her. You love her like you loved your own sister.”

  He jerked backward, his brow creased with a sense of incomprehension.

  “Ruadhan told me what happened. The night you decided to change. The night you saved Brooke from them. I didn’t know it was her until now. I had to find you, tell you how sorry I am for judging you.”

  He paused contemplatively and was cautious as he spoke. “I didn’t know it then, but if I’d let her die, if I hadn’t intervened, then they—Gabriel’s people—would have come for her and she’d have existed somewhere else, somewhere better. Instead, she’s like me, an empty vessel with a stolen soul. I took her goodness and made her dark; for that I can never be forgiven.”

  “But you didn’t know! You did what you thought was right.”

  Smelling the damp grass beneath my body, I knew my lungs were clear once more.

  “Jonah, please accept my apology.”

  I hung my head, ashamed, and he fingered my tangled hair in return.

  “Do you know who that was back there?”

  I kept my head down. I had briefly forgotten about that little secret of mine. “His name is Ethan. He was the one who gave me this.” Pulling out my chain, I played with my ring; the chill inside me was receding and I could feel its shape against my skin.

  “Your old fiancé was a Vampire?”

  “He wasn’t when we were engaged. I don’t know what happened to him. He pounced on me the night you and I met. I didn’t recognize him then. He was with me in the market.”

  “I knew something, someone, was there with you. Why didn’t you tell me? Come on, you’re in danger, we need to move.”

  He started pulling me to my feet, but they wobbled underneath me.

  “No, no! It’s okay, he’s alone. I know he is. We have unfinished business. I need him.… I need to know what happened to me.”

  I tugged at Jonah’s arm as he tried to drag me off.

  Twisting around to me, his voice raised, he said, “And how do you reckon he would know that?”

  “He was the one who killed me.”

  Jonah’s eyes grew larger, his gaze burning.

  “He might know what happened to me after,
what I am, why I’m like this.” I hoped Jonah could see that I didn’t want to go back to the house, not yet.

  “Cessie, you’re a Vampire. You don’t need him to tell you that!”

  The words shot from his lips too fast for him to reclaim them, and I fell backward.

  “No.” My voice cracked louder than the ice had when I’d fallen through it. “I’m not a Vampire.”

  Inspecting me carefully, considering his next move, he said, “Maybe not like me. You’re more powerful than I am, but you are certainly some form of Vampire.”

  “I think I would know.” I stifled a worried laugh under my breath.

  The clouds above me seemed to be misbehaving, swirling and parting, making way for some impending rays of daylight. Yet they soon changed to a duller gray; a formidable downpour was getting ready to burst.

  “I drank from you. You are nothing like anyone else I have ever tasted. Not even remotely similar to a human, and different than a Second Generation Vampire. Your blood fused with mine and made me so strong and so fast, like…”

  “Like what?”

  “Like a Pureblood.”

  I turned away from him, but I did so too fast and I became aware of a stinging sensation in my waist. My back to him, I lifted my T-shirt and, sure enough, there was a large gash running across my skin.

  “What’s wrong?”

  The fragrance of my fresh blood took no time to reach his senses and he darted forward, placing his hand over the cut.

  “It will heal,” I said through gritted teeth as I watched the fireworks set off in his eyes.

  Lifting his stained hand to his mouth, he licked a trace of my blood slowly and thoughtfully.

  Suddenly and hurriedly he yanked my top back down with his free hand, furiously revolving his face away from me.

  “Jonah, it’s okay. You won’t hurt me.”

  Dropping his fingers from his lips and gripping his hand in my own, he seemed locked in concentration.

  “Is it painful?”

  “What?” His eyes flashed to me.

  “Not being able to, well, you know—”

  I watched his Adam’s apple plummet as he gulped.

  “Yes.” He flicked his eyes down to my waist and then back up to my face. “It’s like a thousand suns burning inside me and the only way to put them out is to…” He didn’t finish his sentence.

  “A human’s blood wouldn’t do that to you?”

  He shook his head.

  “And the female Vampires, is that how you’d feel before you ended them?”

  He shook his head again.

  “I have fed on female Vampires and, yes, I’ve drained them to their end. They don’t compare—not one bit—to the way you’ve made me feel. Still don’t believe you’re some sort of Vampire?”

  “I have never drunk human blood. I’ve never killed anyone!”

  That was true as far as I knew.

  “Really? What about that guy outside the club?”

  My turn to gulp hard. “You killed him, not me.”

  “No, I’m pretty sure you killed him. Though you knocked me out before you did, so I didn’t get the pleasure of watching you work, but we were the only ones there. You don’t remember?”

  I kept my hand held over the cut, hoping to stop the smell of my blood wafting further in his direction.

  Sure, there were many things I didn’t remember; there were enormous almighty holes in my head. I was a scratched record; broken. I didn’t exactly know what I was, but of one thing I was certain: I was not a killer. If I was, how could Gabriel ever love me? I shook my head. Why was Jonah saying all this? Why was he messing with me?

  Without warning, Jonah’s fangs burst out with an almighty crack. Lifting his wrist to his mouth, he gauged rips as he tore through his own skin and drifted in close to my body. Taking me with his muscular arm, he yanked me close, so there was no gap between us.

  “What are you doing?” I muttered.

  My initial angst was rapidly overtaken by the sudden sensation of a billion butterflies in my tummy, and they were far from being nervous. Expelling pure adrenaline, with every frantic flap of their wings, a feeling of electric anticipation raced up and down my body.

  I realized then that I was hungry for him to touch me.

  He lifted his wrist to my mouth. The sweet scent of cinnamon tickled my taste buds as I breathed him in. It was as though I was back under the water again and he was the air I so badly needed.

  “Taste me,” he murmured.

  I fixated on the red trickling down his arm, and whimpered in reply, “What … Why?”

  “If you are what I think you are, you’ll … enjoy me.”

  I locked my eyes with his and said, “If I am what you say I am, I would surely end you.”

  “Perhaps, but at least you would know the truth.”

  Moving his hand up my T-shirt and scraping past the gash, he rested his palm on my lace bra, grazing my breast. A shudder of excitement filled me; a snap of desire exploded in a way I’d never felt before. I wanted to taste him—have him—more than anything.

  My knees began to buckle, and Jonah pulled me in closer.

  “He can never be with you. But me, you can have me any which way you like. I want you,” he said, grazing my earlobe with his shiny fangs.

  Moving my cheek next to his I panted hard, my mouth watering.

  As I lingered, his intoxicatingly sweet aroma filled me and a heat rose in my throat. Obediently I moved his wrist to my lips and contemplated his request.

  The clouds that had threatened a downpour finally opened and torrential drops hit us both. Taking my time, I peered up at the gray clouds, still grasping Jonah’s wrist tightly, allowing the rain to wash over me. They didn’t put out the fires that were burning inside me. As I brought my face back down, I caught the darkness inside him waging a war across his eyes.

  “Please,” he whispered.

  The demon inside was getting the better of him; seemingly the demon inside of me was, too.

  Nearing the bloodied slices across his wrist, I ran the tip of my nose along his skin, avoiding the tear. I cupped my cheek with his hand, and then found his lips instead.

  Bringing both his hands now over my cheeks, he pressed firmly. I was tired of fighting and exhausted by my life, so I let myself get lost in the darkness that now filled me and was overflowing.

  Emptiness replaced everything.

  * * *

  I WAS BROUGHT BACK by a white dot at the end of the void. It grew until it overcame the dark. The sun. Its light blinded me and I crumpled in the grass.

  I lay on my back, met by the frost beneath, and Jonah perched beside me, looking perplexed.

  “Cessie?” He seemed calm, almost motionless.

  Leaning over me, he placed his hot hands on my collarbone. I realized then that my top was torn and practically falling off.

  “What happened?” I asked, taking in the red crimson splattered around his mouth. “Did you drink from me?”

  He slumped next to me, his infernos extinguished by the cold, accusing words that fell from my mouth.

  “What’s the last thing you remember?”

  “You, you cut your wrist, but I kissed you. I told you, I’m not like you.”

  I didn’t see or sense any bite marks on my skin: even the cut across my waist had repaired in record time. I considered for a moment that the blood around his mouth did not belong to me. “What happened?” I insisted again.

  Staring at me blankly he answered gently, “Nothing, beautiful, it’s okay. I think maybe you’re not ready yet.…”

  “Not ready for what?”

  “Nothing. Don’t worry, come on.”

  “No,” I stated, sitting up. “Not you as well.” I shook my head in frustration. “You’re going to tell me what I missed, Jonah.”

  Ignoring me, he reached for my hand and slid his fingers in between my own, lifting me off the sloping stream bank.

  “How about you start with what happene
d to my T-shirt!” I said, flustered, throwing my hand down from his.

  Again, he didn’t answer; instead he grabbed his discarded jacket from off the ground and placed it over my shoulders.

  “Did Ethan come back?” I offered him the most hopeful explanation I could think of.

  I scoured the scenery intently.

  That would make sense. We must have gotten into an altercation. That was why my top was torn and why Jonah had traces of blood smeared on his skin. I must have fainted or something.

  While he didn’t seem willing to fill me in, apparently he wasn’t prepared to lie to me either. “Nope, he did a disappearing act when you fell in.”

  “Then why is my top barely in one piece?” I practically hissed. “Why is there blood on your cheeks and around your mouth?” I was getting angry, and Jonah was pacing away from me. “Tell. Me. Now,” I enunciated, and Jonah stopped in his tracks.

  He let the silence drift between us for a moment, and with his back to me he bowed his head toward the ground.

  “Jonah!” I shouted.

  Looking over his shoulder, finally he said, “I think the question you should be asking is why is there blood on your cheeks and around your mouth.”

  He was right; I wasn’t ready to hear that.

  TWENTY-FIVE

  CHRISTMAS EVE. Gabriel was due back this evening and I was nervous.

  I was striding up and down the living area, trying to take my mind off the fact that he had an Angel and Hanora in tow. I was dreading the conversation we were certain to have about him and her.

  Making his way to the kettle, Ruadhan proceeded to brew me a cup of tea. It was now midday, and Jonah and Brooke had been gone for hours. She had nagged him to drive her to Toulouse in the hope of finding some decent shopping haunts, and as usual he had bent to her will.

  Despite Brooke’s cool-as-a-cucumber persona, the look of relief on her face when she’d returned to find Jonah back safe and sound made it plain to see how worried she’d actually been. I half suspected that for once she didn’t really want to go shopping, and that she was using it as an excuse to mask her need to be alone with him for a while.