by Renee Dyer
“That’s terrible. They didn’t even want to see her when she was sick?” I can’t stop myself from asking.
“I’ll get there, but to answer your question, no. Her father said that was her punishment for betraying the family.”
I hear myself gasp and can imagine the look of disgust that crosses my face. I can’t understand how anyone would be so cruel. He had the chance to make amends with his daughter before she died. Instead, he let her go with all that hatred between them. What about her mother? Why wouldn’t she stand up and say this was wrong? Didn’t she miss her daughter? There are so many questions I want to ask.
“We had a small ceremony for them at our house and invited friends of theirs. Lily couldn’t invite her family and ours was in Greece, but it was quaint and she was so beautiful. Mikos was so in love, he glowed with happiness. I was so happy to see that my boy had found what Kostas and I had. They were a fairytale couple. They didn’t fight and rarely squabbled. When they looked at each other, no one else existed. It didn’t take them long to save up money to put a deposit on their own home. It was small, just a two bedroom, but it was perfect for them and they fell in love with it. They both worked two jobs, but never complained. They wanted that house, something that was theirs. Then, Lily got pregnant. It was like the sun rose and shone for her in my Mikos’ eyes. He made her quit her second job out of fear she’d get too tired. He reveled in every part of her pregnancy. He told everyone who would listen that he was going to be a daddy and he had the prettiest wife in the world. And, when Tucker was born, they cried together over how perfect he was.”
She takes another break, but I wish she would keep going. She’s talking about Tucker now and I’m completely engrossed in the story she’s telling. I probably should tell her to stop—she looks tired—but I don’t think she’d listen to me. I can tell this story means a lot to her and she needs it to be told.
“Mikos fell in love with Tucker’s blue eyes. He kept telling me how much he loved that his boy had his mother’s eyes and dimples. He said that every time he looked at him, he fell in love with him more. He asked me if I had ever seen a more perfect baby. He gushed over how great of a mom Lily was and I watched him fall more in love with her. I didn’t think that was possible, but I saw him giving himself over to her more and more, and that was a good thing. As Tucker grew, so did the love between Lily and Mikos. The love of the whole family did. Tucker united them, made them stronger. Then, Lily got sick. It was three long years of her battling that horrible disease. As it became apparent that Lily wasn’t going to pull through, I watched Mikos start to withdraw from everyone. The light started to leave his eyes and he became robotic. He tried being there for Tucker, but I saw a difference… as if he was suddenly unsure whether he would be enough. It was like he thought he was only a good man if he had her by his side. Fear settled in my heart for both him and Tucker. When Lily passed, I knew the world was going to change for them. I just never expected how severely it would. I never thought he would sell their house or bring Tucker to me and walk away. When he did, I thought he would find himself and come back. I guess he never got over the break that happened in his heart the day Lily died. Some people can move on when they lose people, some people can’t.”
She looks me in the eye, intent evident as she says the last two lines. I understand what she’s trying to say. I’ve struggled myself with trying to move on. I walked away from Tucker, too. I’m full of shame over the hurt I caused him. I wanted to protect him and I need her to understand that. As much as I want to hate Mikos, I think I understand him a little. I still don’t think he should have walked away from his son and he sure as hell should have come back by now, but I can’t find it in me to judge him knowing I left too.
“I’m sorry I hurt Tucker.” The words are out of my mouth before I have a chance to stop them. “I was trying to protect him from hurting more.” I stare at my hands, wishing I knew how to explain this better.
“You care for my grandson, Adriana.”
The way she says it, I’m not sure if it’s a question or a statement, but I decide to answer her anyways. “I do, but I’m not in a good place right now, Rose. I’m afraid that I will only hurt him. He’s been through enough in his life.”
“I know about your husband and I’m truly sorry. I understand what it’s like to lose the person you pledge your life to—the person your soul sings with. But, I also believe some people are lucky enough to find that more than once. I applaud you for thinking of others before yourself. You have a big heart, but one piece of advice, if you’ll hear me?” I nod. “Sometimes, the biggest hurt in life is not being with the people you love.”
I sit there stupefied. I never told her I love Tucker. I do, I think I do, but I didn’t say it. Did Tucker tell her that he loves me? Confusion swamps me and hope overwhelms me.
“I’m getting tired, sweet girl. Do you mind if I rest now?” I look at her and she does look really tired. I feel bad that I didn’t notice how tired she was getting sooner. I was so wrapped up in her story that I wasn’t paying attention to her.
“Of course, Rose. Would you mind if I sit here and read? I’d feel better knowing you aren’t alone.” I’m nervous now, seeing that I got her this tired, and I want to make sure that she does rest. She nods at me and closes her eyes. Within minutes, she’s asleep and I pull out my Kindle. I started a new series on the plane that I can’t wait to tell Alahna about. I’m just starting book two and I think I found my newest book boyfriend obsession. Harrison James is one fine ass, tattooed, charmingly sweet drummer that has become my newest fantasy.
About an hour into reading, I hear a ruckus down the hall. “Where is she? I need her damn room number.” I would know that voice anywhere. I hear nurses trying to calm him down and I wonder if I should go out to help. I quickly decide that it would be a bad idea. He hasn’t seen me in months and I don’t know whether he’ll be angry that I’m here. I pull my feet into the chair and make myself as small as possible. I hear his feet hammering down the hall, the sound matching the slamming beats of my heart. Each step brings him closer to me and panic fills my chest. I fear that he’ll kick me out before I even get the chance to say hello. The door smacks open and the man who torments my every waking moment flies straight past me to his grandmother’s side.
Chapter Twelve
Tucker
Rushing to Grams’ side, I don’t stop until I have her hand in mine and can feel her warmth radiating through my palm. I drop my bag on the floor and lay my head next to hers, needing some reassurance, any reassurance, that she’s okay. My heart is beating out of control from running straight from the taxi to her room, only stopping at the nurse’s station. I even ran the stairs, too impatient to wait for the elevator. I was so scared she might die all alone.
Her other hand reaches up to pat my head like she did when I was a kid. “Shh, sweetie. I’m alright.” I hadn’t realized I was crying.
“You can’t scare me like that, Grams. You’re all I’ve got.”
“Not all,” she says. I pick my head up and look at her in confusion. She winks at me and tilts her head slightly to the side. I turn, looking over my shoulder to see what she’s motioning toward. All the air leaves my lungs. If I weren’t leaning on Grams’ hospital bed, I would fall to the floor; completely crash and burn because there’s no way this can be real.
She can’t be here.
I stand frozen, my hand wrapped in Grams’, head turned, staring at the woman who decimated me. She looks so tiny sitting there with her feet all tucked up, but her presence consumes me, overruns all my senses.
How did I not see her sitting there before?
“Hi, Tucker.”
Two words. Two tiny words from her lips, from the lips of my angel, and I propel into motion. I drop Grams’ hand and rush to Adriana. I fall to my knees in front of her and drop my face into her lap, forcing her to drop her legs to the floor and let me in. I throw my arms around her waist, taking advantage of touching her eve
n if she doesn’t want me to. For the second time in minutes, I can’t stop the tears from falling. Grams is okay and Adriana is here. She’s really here. I can feel her in my arms.
“Thank you,” I mumble against her stomach. “Thank you for being with her when I couldn’t.”
Her hands are in my hair, rubbing my head, offering me comfort, and I want to groan at finally feeling her touch again, but I’m afraid she’ll run away. Again. Gripping her tighter, I let my tears fall. I don’t care if I look like a pussy. I love these two and this is the only way I can show them how I feel right now.
“Of course I came, Tucker. The thought of her being alone… it, uh… I… you.”
Looking up, I see her struggling with what to say to me. I’m sure it has a lot to do with how things were left between us. How she left things between us. I don’t care about that.
She’s here now.
Reaching up, I bring my lips to hers, cutting off whatever she was about to say. As much as I want to, I don’t go for a deep kiss. I simply press my lips to hers, allowing myself to feel the softness of her lips on mine; reminding her of the spark we share. Her gasp tells me I did just that.
“I taught him to be smooth like that,” Grams’ humored voice rings throughout the room and Adriana chuckles against my lips.
Smiling, I stand. “Thanks for killing my game, Grams.” They both laugh as I intended them to. I turn to Adriana and gently say, “I missed you.” I don’t miss the sadness in her eyes before I turn back to Grams.
I grab Grams’ hand again, needing to give her my love anyway I can. “You, young lady, don’t you scare me like this again.” She looks at me with complete love on her face like she always has. My Grams. “And, you,” I say, turning to Adriana, “don’t go anywhere. Please?” I hear the begging in my tone and I could care less. I would move mountains if I thought it would get her to stay here and talk to me.
“She won’t,” Grams says, squeezing my hand, stopping anything Adriana may have been about to say. Who’s going to argue with an old lady in a hospital bed? I wish I could pick Grams up into a bear hug right now.
Even in illness, she’s still looking out for me. I see it in the way she smiles at Adriana and winks at me. I’ve never seen Grams look so weak and it tears at my heart. I want to take away all of her hurt and whatever made her sick, landing her in the hospital. I haven’t had the chance to talk to the doctor and I want to, but I’m not ready to let go of Grams’ hand. I’m not ready to be even a few inches away from her. Had she not been on the phone with Adriana when this happened… no, I can’t even think about what could have happened. My world without Grams isn’t a world I want to ever imagine. I know someday I will have to face that, but today is not that day and I’m not ready to contemplate it.
I can feel Adriana sitting behind me, her presence a constant humming in my mind, but I have to ignore that pull I always feel when she’s near me. Grams needs me and that’s where my focus needs to be. It’s hard though. For weeks, I’ve been dreaming of how I would handle things if I finally got her in the same room with me. I have her here, but now isn’t the time to get into things. Thank God for Grams. The one comment she made seems to have Adriana grounded to that chair.
“What happened, Grams?” I look at her face. She’s pale, but she’s still the strong, beautiful woman I’ve always known. She has her chin up, refusing to show weakness and I love that about her. I’m sure she hates being in this bed with people doting on her. She’s always been one to take care of herself and everyone else. She’s definitely not one to lie around. It makes me worry about what will happen when she’s released.
“The doc says I had a small heart attack, but I feel alright now. I’m just a might tired.” I see what she’s trying to do. I’m sure this scared her, but she’s trying to protect me. I let go of her hand and kiss her cheek.
“I’m going to go out to the nurse’s station to see if I can track down the doctor. I want to talk to him myself.” I look over at Adriana and her beauty stops my heart for a second. I missed her more than I realized. I don’t think I’ll survive if she decides to walk away again. “Can you stay here with her?”
She smiles her smile that always makes me think of angels and nods her head. I walk out of the room before I make a fool of myself. All I want to do is drop to my knees and beg her never to leave me again. Beg her to tell me why she ran from me at the airport. Beg her to tell me why she’s so scared and what I can do to help her overcome that fear. I will do anything to get her past that, but saying all of this in front of Grams is not the place. It would embarrass her and send her running all over again.
I walk into the hall, glad for a moment to be able to just breathe. I stand against the wall, my head back, eyes closed, praying to God to get me through this day without losing either of the women on the other side of the wall. Grams said it was a small heart attack, but I don’t know what that means. I know that she had a stent put in this morning and I researched that as much as I could after talking to Jenny. During the layovers and while waiting for the plane to take off, I scoured the internet for everything I could find on stents. I needed to know everything about them. Problem is, I don’t know how many she had put in or how bad off she is and my mind is thinking of every worst-case scenario. The people on the plane asking me if I was Tucker Stavros and if they could have my autograph almost got their fucking fingers bitten off. I was in no frame of mind to be famous. I need to remember to call my agent to do damage control.
Feeling a little more in control, I walk to the nurse’s station. Jenny is there and she instantly recognizes me. I see her try to fluff her hair and stand a bit taller. How I hate when women do that when they see me. I roll my eyes, not caring that she sees me being rude. I stroll up to the desk, ignore her and her attempts to flirt with me knowing my Grams is sick just down the hallway, and talk to the nurse next to her. I request to speak to the doctor on staff. Caroline, the nurse I’m speaking with, treats me professionally. If she knows who I am, she doesn’t let on. She pages the doctor and lets me know he’ll be with me as soon as possible. I thank her and start to walk away.
“Tucker.” I know it’s Jenny and I really am not in the mood for whatever she has to say. Slowly, I turn to see her standing outside of the nurse’s desk staring at me with a look I’ve grown to know well. It’s the starry-eyed, I want to get in the movie star’s pants, look. She licks her lips and I roll my eyes again. She’s oblivious to my obvious disgust with her. “It’s good to see you again after all these years. You look good.” Really? That’s the game she comes with?
“Well, Jenny, I’d like to tell you it’s good to see you too, but under the circumstances…” I leave the comment hanging and turn my back to her. Dick move? Probably. Could I have said worse? Definitely.
I hear her sigh behind me and it makes me smile. I’m heading back to my girls, where I belong. I don’t need any unnecessary drama.
I walk in to Adriana and Grams chatting like two best girlfriends. Both have beaming smiles on their faces and I can’t help but think that this is how it’s supposed to be. The woman in my life is supposed to love Grams the way I do. They’ve obviously formed a bond already and I’m thrilled to see that. I can’t stop my heart from hoping that it can work this time even as my brain is screaming warnings at me. They both look at me, stopping whatever conversation that was humoring them so much.
“Did you find out what you needed to know, sweetie?” I stare at Grams in silence, still reeling from my love for these two women. “Tucker, what’s wrong?” she asks me. Oh shit, snap out of it, Tuck, I mentally chastise myself.
“Nothing, Grams. The doctor will come in when he has a free minute to go over things with me.” I smile at her, trying to relay that I was lost in my own head. She nods silently, telling me she gets it. I’m beyond thankful that I don’t have to explain everything to her. She seems to always know what’s going on with me. I go back to her side and hold her hand. I just need her warmth to know she�
�s really going to be alright.
About twenty minutes later, the doctor walks in and I’m surprised at how young he is. He doesn’t seem much older than me. I know he must be because he had to have gone through a lot of schooling, but my jealous nature has gone into overdrive. I’m not sure I can hear him effectively with the way he’s been ogling Adriana since he walked in. I step between him and Adriana, noticing the laugh-cough Grams lets out. I’m glad she’s rather amused, but I’m not. Can no one be professional?
Dammit!
Why does being around Adriana turn me into a lunatic who can’t think rationally and makes me want to maim any other man in her vicinity?
I focus as he explains the heart attack Grams had. He assures me it was a minor attack. As he glorifies Adriana saving Grams with her quick call to the police here in Junction City, I’m in two mindsets. I’m thankful to her, more than she’ll ever know, but I want to punch this fuckwad in the face because he’s leaning to look around me at my girl. I can feel that familiar red haze starting to come over my eyes. If he doesn’t straighten up and start talking about my Grams instead of Adriana, I might start losing my shit. I don’t know if he can sense my tension or if he sees Grams reach out and grab my hand, but he adjusts his coat and goes on explaining the stent he put in. He tells me Grams did very well in surgery and looks at her with a syrupy sweet smile that I assume is supposed to be his ‘bedside manner’ smile. It makes me want to punch him again. Grams must feel my unease because she gives my hand a squeeze. Dr. Fuckwad continues telling me that they’re going to keep Grams in the hospital overnight, but if she’s doing well tomorrow then she can go home.
He goes over what could have caused the blockage and proceeds to tell me what they did to get her stabilized, the medicines they used, how oxygen was provided, all kinds of shit that makes me feel like passing out. I don’t want to know how bad it was. I just want her better.