by Jodi Thomas
“Sure, dogs go to heaven. Horses do, too, but I’m not so sure about bulls.”
Reagan laughed. “What about ducks and chickens and alligators?”
Noah grinned. “Ducks, yes. Chickens are too dumb to go anywhere, and no alligators, not even the cute little ones.”
They spent a while in senseless conversation. Noah liked making her laugh. He decided Reagan hadn’t laughed enough in her life, and he knew she hadn’t loved enough.
When it finally got too cold, they went inside. He said good night and took a shower before turning in. He hated the little room down the hall from Reagan, but this was as close as he was likely to get. The space must have been furnished for a kid, with a little nightstand, a little dresser, and a little desk. The bed was the only thing in the room big enough for him.
With the lights out, he bumped his way across the room and finally crawled into bed. A second later he almost jumped out of his skin when he bumped against another warm body.
Reagan was sound asleep in his bed.
It took Noah a few minutes to calm down and another ten to decide what to do. Maybe it was the thirty hours he’d gone without sleep. Maybe it was the flannel PJs she wore, but he decided to just sleep.
He pulled her close against him, took a deep breath capturing the clean smell of her hair in his lungs, and relaxed. She’d come to him, he thought, and for right now that was more than he’d hoped for.
Just after dawn he felt her poke him in the shoulder again and again like she thought she was a morning woodpecker.
“What?” he grumbled.
“What do you have on?”
“Nothing,” he answered. “Why?”
“I want to get out of bed, and I can’t crawl over you if you don’t have anything on.”
“Why not? You’ve got enough layers on for both of us. Last night I felt your foot in my back and I thought a squirrel was in bed with us.”
He pulled up the covers. “It’s freezing in here. Didn’t you turn on the heater last night?”
“Didn’t you?” She punched her pillow and settled in. “Get out of bed. I won’t look. Once you’re decent, I’ll climb out.”
“I’m still asleep,” he mumbled. “And, by the way, this is my bed. I have a right to sleep in or out of whatever I want.” He fought to keep from laughing.
She kicked him with one of her squirrel socks, and he turned to face her. “Rea, if you didn’t want to sleep with me, why’d you climb in my bed last night?” He raised one eyebrow. “Hey, wait a minute. You didn’t touch me while I was asleep, because I’d hate to miss something like that.”
“No, but I could have. You slept like a dead man. I don’t think you rolled over except when I poked you to get you to stop snoring.”
“You didn’t answer my question. Why’d you get in my bed?”
He watched her bite her bottom lip and had about decided she didn’t know the answer when she finally said, “I wanted to. I know you’re not ready to settle down, and I don’t think I want to either, but I want you in my life.” She stared at him and slowly added, “I want you, Noah.”
“As a friend?”
“No. I want more.”
He brushed his hand over her wonderful, wild hair. “Are you sure?”
She nodded.
“I love you, Rea,” Noah said, realizing how completely he meant it. He’d thought it every day for a long time, and finally it just slipped out. “I really love you. It didn’t just happen, I’ve always felt like this.” The words he was using weren’t enough.
She cupped his cheek with her small hand. “I love you too.”
“Like you love winter and blackberries and Big?”
“No.” She kissed his nose. “Like I’ve never loved anyone. I crawled in your bed last night because I wanted to show you how much, but when you came to bed, I got scared.”
“But you stayed. That’s a start, Rea.”
“I stayed. I’m not going anywhere. Big is right. I can’t let something that happened to me as a kid rule my life.”
Noah frowned. “Tell Big to get out of this bed.”
She giggled. “He’s not here. There’s no room.”
He pulled her close. “I’m so glad you’re next to me, Rea, I can’t even be mad at Big. But I don’t want to hurry you, honey. A lot has happened, your uncle dying and all the mess at the hospital.”
She covered his mouth with her fingertips. “None of that has anything to do with why I’m here. I feel like I’ve had a few endings in my life lately, but I think I’m ready to see what’s just down the road. We’ve got years to love and fight. We might as well get started, because from the first moment I met you I had a feeling you’d always be there waiting for me.”
“So you’ll be my girl?”
She smiled.
“My woman. My one true love?”
“If no matter where you go, you always come home to me.”
“You’ve got my word.” He held her to him.
“Noah,” she giggled. “You’re naked.”
“Get used to it, Rea.” He kissed her neck.
“Well, I’m staying, but I plan to sleep in my pajamas.” She sounded nervous, but not frightened.
“All right, honey, but those socks have got to go.” He slid his hand down her leg and tugged off first one and then the other.
She giggled, promising he’d regret his action when cold feet touched his back.
Noah wanted to take his time loving Reagan. He never wanted anything he did to frighten her. “We got all day, Rea,” he said as he began unbuttoning her PJs. “And I promise, I’ll keep you warm.”
She didn’t try to stop him. He could feel her shaking, so he stopped and talked to her as his fingers moved slowly over first the flannel covering her body, then beneath to her skin.
When he finally pulled the material away, he couldn’t help but smile. “You’re beautiful, Rea, just as I always knew you would be. I’m going to love you until the day I die.”
With the sun coming through the windows, he made love to her slowly and with great care. As he knew they would, they seemed to fit together perfectly.
Afterward, he lay back feeling more content than he ever had in his life. He might need the excitement of the rodeo, but he also needed the loving peace of Rea by his side. He just wanted to hold her next to his heart.
After a long while he felt her moving by his side. “How about we take a nap before we go down for breakfast?”
She wiggled in close. “I’m starving, but I can’t get up because now I’m naked.”
He laughed. “I can see there could be a problem. You know, at some point one of us is going to have to see the other one completely naked. That is, if you plan on sleeping with me again.”
“I do,” she whisper. “And the other part. The not sleeping. I thought that was wonderful.”
“You did?”
“Sure. Maybe you wouldn’t mind doing it again after we have breakfast.”
Noah jumped out of bed, pulling one of the blankets with him as he went. “I’m starving. Maybe we’d better cook breakfast.”
Rea reached for her top and pulled it on beneath the covers, then climbed out of bed.
A few minutes later, as he watched her cooking eggs and toast wearing a top that almost covered her bottom, Noah tried to think of food, but all his mind could do was remember the way she’d felt and all his eyes could do was stare at that inch where the top didn’t quite cover her.
He forced down breakfast and carried her back upstairs in a run. This time when they made love she wasn’t afraid. This time they laughed and teased and became true lovers.
A few hours later, Noah decided he’d be the first man in history to die from lack of sleep, but at least he’d die happy.
Chapter 51
SATURDAY
OCTOBER 15
TYLER PICKED KATE UP FROM THE AIRPORT THREE DAYS after Brandy Lee Smith was born. He couldn’t wait to tell her all about what had happened that mo
rning at the hospital and how he’d stopped a kidnapping. She’d be so proud of him.
When she walked toward him, Tyler couldn’t stop smiling. As always, she was in her tailored gray suit with her high-necked blouse. She looked very much like what she was, a major with a very important job, but he knew her in a different light. He knew her curled up next to him as they watched movies and offering silent help when he worked a funeral. He knew her when she laughed at night as she knocked on his open door, knowing he’d welcome her into his bed.
He almost laughed, thinking he knew her best after they made love and she always whispered I love you before falling asleep.
He caught himself before he yelled, Marry me, Kate! In the six months they’d been truly together, he’d tried every way he could think of to get her to set a date. He knew her retirement from the army was on her mind. She’d joined right out of college, and it was the only life she’d known. “Hello, darling,” he managed as she neared. “Welcome home.”
She gave him a quick hug and a peck on the cheek, then talked about Autumn’s baby all the way back to Harmony. She wanted to know every detail of what had happened.
While he unloaded her luggage from the car, she rushed in to see newborn Brandy Lee. Ronny was staying with Autumn, helping out for a few days. She was a fair cook but didn’t have Autumn’s natural talent. The women had formed a circle by the time Tyler entered the kitchen. He swore there were times all three were talking at once.
The baby looked like a bald, little tiny old man wrapped in pink. As far as Tyler could tell, when she wasn’t sleeping, she was either eating or pooping. The girls got all excited about putting clothes on her, only to watch her spit up on them. It seemed an endless cycle. After two days of watching, Tyler thought he’d figured out why his parents had only one kid. It wasn’t near as much fun as he’d thought it would be.
What was fun, though, was watching how people acted. Normal rational adults would have hourlong conversations with a three-day-old and not manage to say one real word. Calvin, who worked in the basement, was the worst about jabbering on to the baby, but then he talked to all the bodies during the embalming too.
Half of one of Kate’s suitcases was full of outfits. She must have shopped in every airport store on her way home.
After Kate fed the baby and changed her diaper, she finally said a proper hello to Tyler. While Autumn and the baby slept, he and Kate made sandwiches and took them upstairs. He thought about how young men dream of passion and adventure, but at his age, the true pleasures came with quiet times. With talks. With walks. With sharing.
They sat facing each other at a little table Kate had put by the windows. While they talked he told her of the panic he’d felt at the hospital and what he’d done to save the young doctor. She didn’t seem to want to talk about where she’d been, but as always, she asked about everyone in town as if some great change might have happened in the month she was gone. Tyler liked telling her each event in order, realizing he’d kept a mental journal of all she’d missed.
Finally, when she reached for his hand, he said what he’d been waiting all afternoon to ask. “Are you really and finally back?” He needed to hear the words.
“I’m home, Ty. No more trips, no more army. I’m right where I want to be, with you. If you’ll have me.”
He was surprised she didn’t sound sure of herself. “Of course, dear. There would be no me inside without you. I’d just be a walking shell of a man.” He’d wanted to say those words to her all month. “I look forward to thousands of dinners right here talking and the movies we’ll watch, and the walks we’ll take.”
“It’s not going to be as quiet around here as it once was, not with the baby.”
“That is true.” Though he couldn’t hear the baby when upstairs, he could hear her cry when in his office.
“Do you mind?” she asked.
“No, I love it. We’ll make a great set of grandparents. Once Brandy Lee learns how to say something, that is. I’ve already decided I’ll read to her every day no matter how busy we are. I think it would be nice to give Autumn a break. Now and then we could take her for a stroll or maybe keep her while Autumn has a date with Willie Davis, if he ever gets up the nerve to ask her.”
“Autumn might want to get her own place one day.”
“I’ve thought of that. Willie Davis was a great help to her during labor. I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t keep coming around. But if Autumn moved out with him, she’d still come to work, and bring the baby, of course.” He smiled. “And, if they marry, we might help them find their first house. Neither has any parents to depend on.”
“You’ve got it all figured out, don’t you, Ty?”
“I like to think I’ve thought of everything except maybe how to get you to marry me, but I’ve decided not to push, Kate. I’ll give you all the time you want to settle in.”
She looked down for a minute, then said, “You don’t have to figure out a way to talk me into anything, Ty. I’d like to be married as soon as possible. We can do it fast. Tomorrow if you’re not busy, or a month from now with a big church service.”
Tyler couldn’t form words. He’d been asking her for months, and now here she was saying yes, even pushing it.
“What’s wrong?” He could see it in her eyes. Something had happened. She wasn’t the same. “Did something happen on this last mission … something horrible … some illness?” She had gone into some other country. There could be a disease she’d caught. She could have been shot and her clothes were hiding a wound. “Please, Kate, don’t tell me you’re dying.”
She smiled. “No. I had a complete physical three days ago as part of the mustering-out requirements. Everything is fine, but something did happen, Ty, and it happened right here before I left.”
Tyler fought to remember the last few days they’d been together. He could think of nothing. They’d been happy. They’d been together. He could think of nothing he’d said or done. If anything the time had been extra sweet as they counted down the hours before she’d have to leave.
Kate took a deep breath and announced, “The doctor said I’m in great shape for a woman in her forties who’s going through her first pregnancy.”
“But how?”
She laughed. “I was told years ago I’d never have children, and for most of my life it wasn’t an issue I had to worry about. Only the last few months with you, it seems I was exposed to the possibility quite often. I like to think it happened just before dawn that last morning we were together. That memory is very dear to me.”
Tyler felt light-headed and sweaty. He could see dark spots before his eyes, and he thought he might throw up at any moment. He moved to the couch and lay down until the world stopped spinning.
When he finally rose to one elbow, he looked at Kate and smiled. “I’m sorry, dear, I thought you said you were pregnant.”
“I am. We’ll both be forty-six when we become parents. It’ll be exciting.”
He grinned at her, thinking she didn’t look a day over forty. “It’ll be exhausting. We’d better go to bed now, Kate. We’re going to need all the rest we can get.”
Chapter 52
FRIDAY NIGHT
OCTOBER 28
TINCH TOOK ADDISON’S HAND AND LED HER ONTO THE dance floor. They’d been on their date for two hours and all he could think of was getting her home.
He waved at Beau in the cage. The kid was getting better every week, and tonight he seemed at his best.
“Just relax, Doc, and let me lead,” Tinch whispered in her ear. He’d heard once that some folks considered slow dancing to country music as foreplay, and he planned it to be just that tonight.
She’d been worrying about him and bossing him around for two weeks, and now it was his turn. Tonight he’d planned the entire evening. Dinner, dancing, a moonlight drive out in the canyons where they could hear coyotes howl, then home.
If he was lucky, she’d be moving out of the bed-and-breakfast and in with him
by the weekend.
“Tinch,” she whispered. “Should we check on Jamie?”
“He’s fine. My cousin raised five boys; she can handle him for one night. The only danger he’s in is from over-eating.”
She relaxed a bit and he moved his hand lower on her hip.
“I love touching you,” he whispered against her throat. “I missed out on a great deal of touching you since I was shot, and I plan to make up the time as soon as possible.”
He could feel her melting in his arms, and he couldn’t help remembering the first time they’d danced and she’d warned him not to get too close.
Later tonight he knew he’d hold her when she was wild and lost in passion, but right now he just wanted to feel her in his arms. He’d never known such an addiction as Addison, and he didn’t plan on looking for the cure.
“Big and his date are here,” she whispered. “And look, Reagan and Noah just walked in.”
“I don’t really care,” he whispered as he smiled and waved at the couples. “Right now, Addison, all I see is you.”
He watched her smile that deep kind of smile women have when they’re totally happy. She’d been out at his place every day since he came home from the hospital. She’d even tried cooking a few meals.
“I’ve stopped fading,” she whispered as she kissed him.
When he finally broke the kiss, he looked straight into her eyes. “This is no affair, Addie. No one-night stand. No fling before you go back to what you think is the real world.”
“I know.” She smiled. “I took the opening to be the new doctor on staff at the hospital.”
He hugged her a little tighter. “I could get used to you being around.”
He saw the fire in her stormy-day eyes. “I’m not sure I could ever get used to you, Tinch, but I’d like to try.”
As he twirled her around the floor, he thought of how his heart had expanded and opened up to loving. When he saw Howard Smithers’s wife, he’d have to thank her for starting the bar fight last month. If he hadn’t jumped in, he never would have met Addison and learned there is always room for more loving.