by Ahadi, Kion
***
Nadia walked down the stairs. She opened the entry door to the block and walked across the courtyard. She made her way to the bus stop. Her two suitcases felt light, unlike her heart which was heavy wanting to explode. Cyrus was her life, leaving him had taken all the strength she had, but they had to have some time apart. Nadia needed to rediscover who she was. Something dark had entered her mind since their return from Valletta. It was a growing shadow, a faceless fear. Lying on the stretcher alone in the hallway deep beneath the earth Nadia had been on the cusp of death. As the inhuman shapes had drained her of blood Nadia had risen out from her body floating free in space. A huge column of light had called her, but she didn’t want to join it, not yet. Nadia didn’t want to leave Cyrus or her family. She had experienced visions which she couldn’t yet comprehend.
Nadia waited at the bus stop. The day was bright and cloudless. She watched as a formation of birds flew overhead. Her mobile buzzed, she took it from her pocket, a text message from Cyrus.
“I love you,” it read.
I love you too Nadia thought, as a bus arrived.
***
I was waiting for Aiyana. She had offered to help me move my belongings back home to my parents’ house. She had needed to go to the toilet before we set off for Surrey. My things were safely in the back of the van I had hired. It had been a month since Nadia had left the flat. We had talked on the phone a few times, but it was clear she wasn’t coming back. I had handed in notice to the landlord. There was no point paying rent and living in the flat alone.
“Sorry I just needed to make sure we didn’t have to stop half way home, I hate using public toilets,” Aiyana said as she climbed into the seat next to me.
“Did you open all the windows to let some air in?” I teased.
“Very funny. I am so happy you are coming home, you can drive me to martial arts,” Aiyana was practicing karate, she loved it. She was so enthusiastic about everything that it inspired me. She had been a pillar of strength since my ‘break-up’, or whatever it was – I really wasn’t sure. I had found myself lying in bed most days, tired and depressed. I couldn’t stop thinking about Nadia, I missed her presence. I missed her voice in the kitchen, her smell in the bed, making passionate love to her on the floor. I just missed her. The first week had been unbearable. The only thing that had kept me going was Aiyana’s constant visits. Slowly I had become active again as I came to terms with the situation. I loved Nadia that would never change, and I knew she still loved me. We just needed to regain a balance after what had happened to us in Valletta.
“I am happy too, although dad will probably be on my case about getting a job,” I said.
“You will get a job. I guess you weren’t happy doing what you did. You can practice martial arts with me. My teacher is great, he will go easy on you,” Aiyana beamed.
“Yes that would be kind of him,” I said with a smile, while thinking quietly to myself that I could crush her teacher like swatting a troublesome fly. I started the van and we made our way home.
My mum was waiting for us in the front driveway when we arrived. Seeing her lifted my spirits. She really was beautiful with her flowing long brown curly hair, green eyes and amazing smile. I gave her a hug after parking the van as close to the house as possible.
“Your room is ready for you,” my mum announced proudly.
“Thanks,” I said.
Aiyana and I started to take my belongings out from the van and into the house. My dad was away on a business trip, which was great news as it delayed the inevitable interrogations about what I was planning to do with the rest of my life.
“Have you spoken with Nadia?” my mum asked, as I took a box up the stairs.
“No,” I shouted.
I entered my old bedroom. The lock had gone, I smiled to myself – my mum had got her way. It felt weird being home again. I would always hate it when my mum or Aiyana woke me up in the mornings. Now I longed to hear their voices. Being held prisoner underground made me realise the importance of the people you love and who love you. Watching my previous lives through the crystal had shown me the pain I had caused and wrong choices I had made. Power and destruction still held a faint attraction somewhere deep and dark within me, but love and friendship were far more important.
“What are you thinking about?” Aiyana asked as she entered my room.
“Just how amazing you are and how much I appreciate your help,” I replied. Aiyana stared at me slightly confused, she was normally used to my put-downs. She walked up and hugged me.
***
Nadia relaxed on the couch. She was enjoying being spoiled by her mum. Her parents had been upset about her decision to leave Cyrus, but she had made them understand it was for the best, at least initially.
“Come and have some dinner with your father and me,” Nadia’s mum said.
Nadia got off the couch and walked to the kitchen. Her father Vlad was already seated at the dining table. Susanne had made Nadia’s favourite dish Pirozhki, little pies made of yeast dough filled with fish, meats, vegetables, rice and eggs. Nadia sat down opposite her father. He smiled at her. She took some salad from the bowl and put it onto her plate.
“Have you heard from Cyrus,” Vlad asked.
“Not for a few days,” Nadia replied.
“I expect he is busy settling back into his mother’s house,” Vlad commented.
“Yes – I think Aiyana is ecstatic. She has been texting me non-stop about all the things they are doing together,” Nadia said with a smile.
“This Aiyana, she sounds like a bundle of energy, it is a shame we never met her,” Vlad said.
“You will soon enough when Cyrus and I get en…” Nadia stopped mid-sentence and stared into space.
Vlad had been testing to see his daughter’s reaction. He had always liked Cyrus; he sensed a tremendous aura and strength about him. Vlad had been a champion mat wrestler in his native home of Volokolamsk. He worked now for a rich Russian oligarch as Head of Security. Nadia was his only child; he wanted the very best for her. He felt Cyrus was a good match. His daughter had not explained what had gone wrong between them and Vlad knew better than to probe, but he hoped they would reach reconciliation soon. He longed for a grandchild!
“Call Cyrus sweetheart and speak to him,” Susanne suggested. Nadia looked at her parents and smiled. They both meant well, but something inside her knew it was not the right time.
“I will when I am ready,” she replied.
***
I was alone in my room lying on the bed. Aiyana and my mother had gone to sleep. The bed started to judder. The familiar sensation of being paralysed overtook me. The room was shimmering. Something deep inside was trying to find release from my body. My energy was pushing upwards trying to leave behind the physical body. Then came the wall of fear, my heart was pounding. I knew this was a natural defence mechanism when attempting to leave your physical vessel. I tried to relax and let go. The urge to leave my body became overwhelming. The bed began shaking, and with a final shudder I was set free. I floated to the ceiling. I was a sphere of immense energy. My energy field was almost completely black, apart from a large circle of golden energy forming in what I sensed to be the heart of my field. I could perceive a silver cord connecting my energy field to the physical body on the bed. I had learnt during my research that if this cord was severed my route back into the physical body would be lost. Aiyana and my mum would find me physically dead in bed. Solid physical objects no longer had the ability to block you while you were in the subtler energy form. I floated out of the bedroom through the wall. I emerged outside, I had no sensation of heat or cold, phenomena-like weather were signals that only had meaning for a physical body as it receives messages from the brain.
I wanted to access the Akashic records directly, but how? Suddenly the background became darker and purple lights started flashing all around me. Then I was before a keeper. I understood now in energy form I just had to think where I wanted
to go and it would be so.
“I am one of the keepers of the Akashic records. Ask what you seek and you shall learn,” said the soothing voice from a grey apparition.
“I want to view the final moments of my previous physical life directly preceding this one,” was my thought.
Images began to play back to me in the form of an interactive movie. I perceived a scene, a large conference room. I was seated on a chair, a powerfully built reptilian overlord, Dajjal was beside me. There were strange alien life forms all around the room divided into two factions. We were arguing over the fate of a planet – Clyses. My faction was going to destroy it. The other was trying to save it. I was not paying attention to the heated debate. I had already decided on destruction. Instead my red eyes were fixed upon on a female. This was not a female in the human sense. Her features resembled those of a feline; she had large golden¬coloured eyes. Her skin was luminous and bright like the sun. This creature was slender and very tall, around eight feet. She was breathtakingly stunning. Her beauty was unlike anything I could ever describe. She looked back at me and smiled – Nadia?!
***
Vlad opened the bedroom door. He walked over to Nadia’s desk, she was writing furiously in her notebook. Nadia had locked herself in her bedroom for days researching strange subjects on the Internet. He looked around the room. It was littered with sheets of paper, some showing pictures and others weird symbols. There were books everywhere on topics such as climate change, UFOs, aliens, life after death and other paranormal subjects. On the walls Nadia had stuck up post-it notes with illegible scribbles.
“Here is a glass of water,” Vlad said leaving it on Nadia’s desk.
“Thanks,” Nadia replied without looking up.
“Call me if you need me,” Vlad offered.
“I will,” Nadia answered.
Vlad lingered for a second. A drawing of a black circle with a dragon in the centre had caught his eye. He had seen that somewhere before.
“You can go,” Nadia said.
Vlad turned and left the bedroom. Since Nadia had returned home, she had started having nightmares. Vlad often heard her screaming in the middle of the night. Susanne had also noticed puncture wounds on Nadia’s body after walking in to give her some clean towels after a shower the previous day. She had told Vlad. They had not directly confronted Nadia, but they were both becoming concerned that perhaps Cyrus was responsible. There was something Nadia was not telling them.
Nadia read her notes. She was beginning to understand some of what had happened to them in Valletta. The underground base and weird creatures were part of something far bigger. All throughout her childhood she had experienced dreams about the destruction of a foreign planet and the death of millions of alien creatures. She had always put them to the back of her mind dismissing them as fantasies. Now she knew they weren’t, they were real memories of her past that she needed to decipher.
***
Nadia stirred in bed enmeshed in a nightmare. She screamed as the creatures came to drink her blood. She turned in her bed violently. The scene changed to her recurring dream about the destruction of a planet. This time it didn’t end with her realising she was about to die as the dragon breathed fire towards her. Instead, it went further than before. She could feel the actual flames engulf and incinerate her body. She imagined herself rise away from the dead burnt body as a ball of golden white energy. In this form she floated high above the blazing city below. As she floated she passed a mountain. Upon the mountain she saw a scene: a giant reptilian creature with black scaly skin holding a dagger in its hand. The reptilian creature seemed so familiar.
“Cyrus,” Nadia muttered.
Vlad gently stroked Nadia’s hair which roused her from her dream. Nadia’s eyes opened and she looked up disorientated. Vlad had been unable to ignore her screams this particular night and had come to comfort his daughter.
“You are ok. Cyrus is not here, he can’t hurt you,” Vlad whispered.
Nadia sat up in bed, her hair matted with sweat.
“What did Cyrus do to you?” Vlad asked in a grave voice.
“Nothing Father, Cyrus loves me, I understand how much now,” Nadia replied breathless.
“Your mother told me about the marks on your body. Who did that to you? Was it Cyrus?” Vlad asked.
“No it was not Cyrus, it’s no use, you wouldn’t understand,” Nadia said flatly.
Vlad grimaced at the comment, the lack of faith and trust his daughter had expressed in him hurt.
“Nadia I want to help you, I want to know who hurt you,” Vlad said softly.
“Something happened when we were in Valletta. I was terrified and confused by it all before, but now I realise the purpose. Cyrus was being tested.”
Nadia took and held Vlad’s face in her hands as she spoke.
“He passed Father, because he loves me. I need to see Cyrus now,” she said forcefully.
Vlad sat dazed on the bed. He stared at his daughter’s beautiful face. She shone like a light in the dim room. Her eyes were alive, filled with passion.
“It is 4 a.m., Cyrus will be asleep and so should you be,” Vlad replied trying to curb Nadia’s mounting hysteria. Nadia let go of Vlad’s face.
“We are all in danger,” she said, and then got out of bed. Vlad took her arm.
“I have heard all this before Nadia, what is the danger now?” Vlad asked impatiently.
“The world is going to be destroyed,” Nadia said as she shook free of Vlad’s grip, and made her way to the en-suite bathroom.
“Those books are filling your head with your childhood nonsense again! I will drive you to see him in the morning,” Vlad shouted after his daughter.
Nadia remerged from the bathroom. She knew it would be pointless trying to convince her father of what she knew to be the truth. She would cause him undue stress. She controlled her emotions.
“Ok, but his house is about one hour’s drive away. We have to go first thing in the morning. I must see Cyrus,” she said in a calmer voice.
“I will take you, I promise, now get back to bed,” Vlad said, his tone softening.
Nadia hugged her father and got back into bed. Vlad looked at his daughter and sighed; Nadia’s behaviour was unnerving him. She had not acted this way since she had been a child. She had always had vivid dreams of destruction, and often came to their bedroom in the middle of the night crying saying her ‘original planet’ had been destroyed. As a child Nadia also claimed she could leave her body. He and Susanne had sought advice to help them cope with her fantasies. The dreams and claims had diminished with age. Vlad sat on the edge of the bed and watched his daughter a while as she closed her eyes. He waited till she was asleep and then stood up and walked back to his room.
“How is she?” Susanne asked Vlad as he got into bed.
“She is sleeping now. It was another bad dream about the end of the world – I don’t think she’s stable. She wants to go and see Cyrus tomorrow morning,” Vlad said as he lay back, resting his shaved head on the pillow.
“Maybe that will be good for her,” Susanne said nestling her head in Vlad’s wide chest.
“Perhaps it will,” he answered.
Vlad felt helpless. He feared his daughter was losing her grip on reality again. She had been so happy since meeting Cyrus. Something had obviously happened on their holiday, he couldn’t imagine what. Maybe being back with Cyrus would be good for her.
***
I was watching another scene: Teerzad was in a chamber with the feline creature Eskh. I knew now this creature was Nadia as she had been in a previous life. Eskh was a being of light. Her positive energy had penetrated the black soul of Teerzad; my soul. A powerful attraction had drawn them/us together, two beings from opposite sides of the energy spectrum, and they/we had formed a rare and forbidden union.
“Teerzad, I will not leave, Clyses is my home planet,” I heard Eskh saying to the giant reptilian.
“If I leave without you then you will
die,” Teerzad answered, his voice like distant thunder.
Although I was essentially watching myself as I had been in another time, the creature in front of me still looked frightening. The black scaly skin gave him a sinister and demonic appearance.
“I have my path and you have yours,” Eskh replied.
Teerzad stood abruptly and left the chamber. I watched the images devoid of emotion, but I knew what I had felt as I had left that chamber so long ago. I had been infected with love, my dark energy was transforming.
I witnessed again the final moments of my life as Teerzad. I had destroyed Eskh’s home planet of Clyses. By doing so I had sentenced her to death along with millions of others. Upon that mountainside across the ocean of time I had felt guilt and remorse for the first time. Knowing I had killed the only thing I had ever loved, I realised I could not follow the dark path anymore. A pinprick of positive energy had been seeded in my energy field. I witnessed myself committing suicide on the mountainside of Clyses. The images began to vanish slowly as Teerzad’s body hit the ground with the dagger in his heart. By committing this act my aim had been to seek a vortex of light after physical death, something unheard of for a dark energy being.
I do not know what had happened after my death as Teerzad. All I knew was I had been reborn as a human on earth. Perhaps this had been my judgement, the punishment for all my sins? Nadia and I had somehow found each other in this earthly life. What luck or destiny perhaps?
“What else do you seek?” I was back before the keeper.
Home I thought, and in an instant I was floating above my bed. My body was still below me, I willed myself back. I felt the bed shaking as my energy returned to reside in my physical body. I opened my eyes. My mobile phone was ringing. I looked at the clock 8.37 a.m. I got up out of bed and picked up the phone, it was Nadia.