“Anyway,” he continued, shrugging slightly. “I hope my story doesn’t freak you out.”
“No…” I said, slicing my palm through the air. “I think it’s a remarkable story. How much you gave up for your daughter—it’s inspiring. And having worked as an attorney for years, I’m no stranger to this world.” My eyes glittered. “You were hunting the bad guys, sounds like.”
“And sounds like you were defending them,” Ethan said, teasing me for the first time.
“Mostly drug cases,” I said. “Men who did drugs, got caught, and didn’t want to go to jail for it. Also, a few cases where I was fighting for fathers who wanted partial custody of their children. That definitely got tough at times.”
Ethan nodded, his eyes growing fierce. “You can’t imagine how much Gracie has changed me.” Bringing his hands over the table, he crossed his thumbs. “I don’t know what I was living for, before. One high after another, emotionally, and sexually, and in so many other ways…” He trailed off, perhaps sensing he was saying too much. “Anyway, she’s really grounded me. Given me a purpose.”
A purpose. What exactly did that feel like, after so much recklessness, I wondered.
I turned my eyes to my half-drunk second glass of wine, beginning to feel that if he remained in my presence another moment more, I might jump him. He didn’t seem fazed by the wine at all. Instead, he was more vocal, stronger, more present than he’d been when we’d first met at the side of the mountain.
As he shifted on the chair, I watched as a tattoo flashed from beneath his black T-shirt. I peered at it, trying to trace its outline before it was covered once more. It seemed to be a black horse, rearing up on its hind legs.
I began to piece together a question about it, wondering if it was significant in some way to his past life as a bounty hunter. But before I could speak, Gracie entered from the porch. Her blond hair curled around her ears, and her eyes were heavy, bleary. She blinked twice, first at me, then her father.
“Daddy? I’m so tired,” she said. Her coloring book and pack of crayons hung down from her hand, looking about to fall. She shrugged slightly. “Can I lie down on the bed?”
“Of course, honey,” I answered, stepping forward.
But Ethan was quick to intervene. “I think it’s about time we got going, baby,” he told his daughter, taking a step toward her. With a flourish, he lifted her into the air and held her with one arm against his strong, broad chest. As I watched him do it, I wanted to race up against his other side and hold them both close. But I held back, feeling my head whirl with wine.
“You’re all right to drive the rest of the way?” I heard myself ask, knowing the answer. Ethan had only had one glass, and was no drunker than he’d been before taking a single sip. He was sturdy, made of something else.
“We’ll be fine,” he said. He stared at me for a long moment, his face stern. Gracie tucked her head against his shoulder, nestling into him. They were very near perfect, the stuff of old paintings I’d seen in a museum in San Francisco. Sons and daughters who look just like their fathers and mothers. Enough love to go around.
I wanted to tell them to stay. To use the bed. I’d sleep on the porch, if I had to. I was suddenly, horribly attached. I couldn’t imagine myself sleeping at the cabin alone, in the midst of the dark clouds and dying sunlight and thick pines.
“Will we see Serena again soon, Daddy?” Gracie asked, her voice soft and lilting.
“I don’t know, baby,” Ethan said, smoothing his large hand across her back. He eyed me with purpose, as if waiting for me to respond.
“I’d love to see you both again,” I answered, mostly to him. “Any time you can.”
“We’ve got the next few days off of school, don’t we, baby?” he asked Gracie, as she slowly tipped off to sleep. “Which leaves us plenty of time to fix that car, if you’ll let us.”
My eyebrows rose high. “I nearly forgot about it,” I said, answering truthfully. If anyone had asked me how Ethan had ended up at my cabin that night, I would have said it was fate—nothing more. “I should really dial that mechanic…”
“Don’t bother,” Ethan said, giving me a slight smile. “The mechanic in town is a crack. He charges tourist prices, which you don’t deserve.”
“Don’t I?” I asked, feeling myself giggle slightly. “Isn’t that exactly what I am? Coming into your mountains and disrupting everything?”
“Sure. But I’ll let you off the hook this time,” Ethan said, turning his boots toward the back door and his truck. “I’ll pick up the car tomorrow morning and do the best I can with what I know. I can’t promise anything. It’s not exactly my original expertise.”
With a jolt, I reminded myself that his “original expertise” was actually bounty hunting. But as I followed behind them into the gravelly driveway, I felt I was floating with excitement.
I watched as he slipped Gracie into the front seat of the truck, before giving me a burly wave. I was fascinated with the duality of his personality. He seemed gruff, reserved, caught between his past and this strange present. Yet he also seemed sweet, sensitive, having to care for this young girl, who’d turned to crayons, coloring books, and her father for eternal happiness.
What a strange switch that must have been, I thought.
I lifted my hand as Ethan crept back down the driveway, steering the truck down the hill, before winding back up. When they were out of sight, I could still hear the gurgle of the engine, somewhere beyond the trees. When I couldn’t hear it anymore, I closed the door and locked it tight, noticing that my hands were shaking. I refilled my glass and skirted out onto the porch to watch the rest of the light die down around me, closing me into the stillness of the forest.
As I sat on the porch swing, creaking it up and down, I felt excitement fill me. I couldn’t imagine a better way to live: far away from my maddening life in the city, deep in the mountains, with a handsome, curious man about to return to me.
Everything about Ethan piqued my curiosity. His muscled frame and gruff voice thrilled me sexually. I brought my hand up and down my thigh, wondering what it would be like if he touched me. I wondered if it would feel electric. If it would make me feel alive in ways I hadn’t in years.
I knew all of that was probably an impossibility. He was just a mountain man, attempting to help out a poor, single woman like me. But on the other side of the coin, he’d revealed more to me about his past than I was necessarily comfortable with, which almost endeared him to me. Not seeing one another again would be a crime against potential passion.
No. I couldn’t allow myself to get swirled up in the world of romance.
I set my jaw, staring out at the last of the horizon line, over the lake. If I saw him again, so be it. And if I didn’t, I would enjoy my week in the mountains alone.
I told myself this, knowing, beyond anything else, that it wasn’t the truth. Not even a little.
Chapter 5
Ethan
Gracie tucked her head against me in the truck early the next morning, whispering, “Daddy, I’ll just close my eyes for a minute.” Her curls were still damp from her morning bath.
My heart squeezed with a moment of pure love. As she fell back into slumber, I cranked the truck back from the hidden driveway near the cabin I’d built with my two hands three years before.
I still had the scars on my fingers. I’d worked quickly, diligently, knowing I had to build a house of permanence for my “new” daughter. I’d known that anything less safe than this would necessarily allow the people who were after me to find me. I knew I couldn’t take any risks.
Chugging back down the mountain, my eyes turned toward Serena’s cabin as we passed it. I was already so curious, yearning to catch a glimpse. I’d asked Tatiana down in the town to watch Gracie, as it was the weekend and school was out. Tatiana’s daughter, Rachel, was one of Gracie’s best friends. They often played together for hours, without a single moment of reprieve.
After dropping Gracie off, a
nd giving Tatiana a hearty thanks, I turned the truck back toward the mountain, swept passed the entrance of the national park, and found myself braking directly in front of Serena’s little red Chevy.
Inspecting it, I walked around it, eyeing every mark, every scrape. It was clear Serena didn’t drive it often, probably taking some form of public transit in the city. She probably hadn’t given much thought to it: that if she didn’t drive her car often, it probably wouldn’t be up to making such a trek.
I latched the red car to my truck, then towed it back toward her cabin. My truck creaked along. As I eased toward Serena, flashes of her bright smile remained in my mind. I hadn’t met a woman quite as beautiful, quite as vibrant as her in years.
Of course, I had good reason for my gruff exterior. It wasn’t like I could bring a woman into mine and Gracie’s life. We had to be strong, calculated, guarded, if we were going to avoid disaster. And beyond that, I’d never been much for commitment. Gracie’s mother had known that—she hadn’t even told me about the baby in the first place.
Learning that I’d missed out on three years of Gracie’s life had absolutely devastated me. I often thought about what it must have been like to experience Gracie’s first smile, her first step. I wondered what it would have been like to cradle her when she cried as an infant, so terrified and angry, a ball of wild energy.
I couldn’t ever make up for that time. I could only move forward.
As my truck tires creaked across the gravel of the driveway, Serena appeared in the doorway. She was clinging to a mug of something hot—probably coffee—and her eyes glowed over the top of it.
I brought my chin lower and began to walk toward her, trying to conceal my excitement about seeing her. Her slim frame, gorgeous breasts, and coiffed, blond hair made her into a near-perfect package. And the way she stared at me gave me the assurance that she felt the same.
But I couldn’t do anything about it.
“Hey there,” she began, her voice tentative. I could tell my height and muscled frame frightened her as well as excited her. Her nostrils flared. “Hope you slept all right?”
“Sure did,” I said, my voice lower than normal. I yanked my head toward her car. “Figured I’d give this a try before the day gets away from us.”
“Thank you,” she squeaked. “It really means the world. I don’t know how else I’d get back home. Although…” She gestured to the lake behind the cabin, the bright blue sky, “I don’t know how I could ever leave a place like this.”
I held her gaze for a moment, feeling the tension mount between us. Without another word, I turned back toward my truck, taking out a large toolbox. I opened up the front of her red car, revealing its metal organs, and began to tinker.
After just a few moments, Serena appeared beside me holding a second coffee cup—steaming, with just a small ounce of milk making it a light brown. I thanked her. In response, her cheeks turned bright red.
“You look like you know what you’re doing,” Serena said, grinning.
“I’ve fixed a car or two in my time,” I told her.
“In your old life? As a bounty hunter?” she asked, showing her curiosity, looking earnest. “I’m sure you ran into all kinds of trouble.”
Reaching up, I ran my fingers along the tattoo of a bear I had on my upper left bicep. I felt the strength of the muscle, felt at the vein that traced along it. Thinking back, every time I’d had a busted-up car, when in the business, I’d just stolen another one. I’d been working on both the right and wrong side of the law, free-wielding, ensuring I made as much money as possible. Thanks to my abilities, I was never caught.
“I suppose so,” I said, lying.
Anxious, she brought her fingers through her bright blond hair. “Do you think it’s fixable?”
“Actually, I’m nearly done.” I glanced up at the rising sun, reasoning that it was around ten-thirty in the morning. “Which means we have an entire day at our disposal. Did you have any plans?”
Serena tilted her head, ever so slightly. “Where’s Gracie?”
“She’s with a friend for the day,” I told her. “No school today, but I didn’t want her to have to hang around a car mechanic all day. Needs some more creative stimuli, know what I mean?”
“I suppose so,” Serena laughed. Her eyes were slightly bleary, as if she could hardly focus on my words any longer. It had been a long time since I’d held anyone’s attention, beyond Gracie’s. I suppose I couldn’t blame her for feeling bored. Although I felt gruff, closed off—unable to link up with anyone anyway.
Then why was I trying to reach out?
After a final crank of my wrench, I stepped inside the car, keeping the front door wide open and one foot on the gravel driveway.
“Here goes nothing,” I told Serena.
Turning the key in the ignition, I heard the pleasing roar of the engine. I made eye contact with Serena through the front window of the car, watching as a smile burst between her cheeks.
“You did it!” she called.
Ducking out from the car once more, I closed the hood, locked the car, and tossed the keys back toward her. Serena caught them in a moment of panic and reflex. Then, she spun her thumb toward the lake behind her, swallowing hard.
“I was thinking about having a glass of iced tea. Could I interest you?” she asked.
“Actually,” I said, “I was planning to spend the afternoon on the lake. Haven’t been fishing since last Thursday, and want to cook up something hearty for dinner.”
I watched as Serena’s face fell.
“Oh…” she sighed.
“You can come along too, of course,” I offered.
Her eyes fluttered. She looked like a daydream, her dress whipping around her legs.
“I could pack us a picnic,” she whispered.
“Sounds great.”
I found myself following her back into the cabin, listening to the creak of her rickety door. Inside, the bed had been made, the dinner plates and bowls scrubbed clean from the evening before.
Serena reached into the refrigerator and drew out cheeses, bread, fruits, and began to toss them into a brown paper sack. I sensed that she was anxious, busying herself with the lunch. From the window, I caught sight of my boat bobbing alongside the dock on the other side of the lake. I pointed, telling her.
“Oh!” she said, her voice bright. “I saw that boat yesterday. She’s a beauty. Did you build it yourself?”
“Yes,” I told her. “The lake’s actually a bit bigger than we can see from here. With the mountains tucked around it, it makes it look more like a pond. But I assure you, once you get out there, it feels wide and long, with plenty of nooks and crannies where we can spot animals and birds. It’s one of the best ways to experience the nature up here.”
Serena wrapped her arms around the brown paper sack and lifted it. I watched as she walked toward the back door, her ass moving left and right with each step. I felt a strange roar of desire, wanting to reach toward her, to grip her. I wanted her against the wall of the tiny cabin, I wanted to inhale the scent of her skin.
But I held back, my heart ramping up in my chest.
With nostrils flared, I followed her toward my truck. She placed the picnic bag in the center and piled into the side, sitting in the passenger seat. Waiting for me. It was as if we didn’t need to speak about what we were doing, where we were headed.
I gripped the truck’s steering wheel and backed into the paved road, driving back up the mountain, toward the road that led to the far side of the lake. I sneaked glances at her as she gazed across the glass-like water. Her hands were restless. She looked like a frightened rabbit.
“Have you ever gone fishing?” I finally asked her, breaking the silence.
She shook her head no.
“I think it was something my dad did before he moved us into the city. We grew up south, in the Big Sur area, before my dad’s career took off and he started making big-city money. I could have had a very different life, if w
e’d stayed out there. I might have been able to fish, hunt, hike, even repair a car. But as it stands, I’m pretty useless.”
“I wouldn’t say that. Sounds to me like you defend people who really need it.”
I left the truck in the parking lot twenty feet or so from where I’d moored the boat at the dock. It bobbed heartily with the waves, creaking up against the wooden planks.
Reaching into the back of the truck, I drew out a fishing rod and tackle, carrying it as I swept toward the boat. I felt Serena following behind me, taking light steps. I whistled as we walked, filling the silence. I knew I needed to make her feel more comfortable around me. Needed to assure her I wouldn’t hurt her. That despite being miles away from anything she really knew, she could be herself.
Beyond that, I wanted to strip her bare. Wanted to tear at her clothes and reveal her gleaming, porcelain skin to the world. Wanted to ravage her in the sunshine, on my boat, as the quiet forest continued on around us.
But I held back.
Stepping onto the boat, I placed my fishing rod to the side and helped Serena into the boat. Her eyes gleamed. The moment she stepped on the uneven surface, she lurched to the side, almost falling. I wrapped my arms around her, yanking her back upright. She giggled, rolling her eyes at herself.
“Sorry about that,” she said, clearly embarrassed. “I haven’t been on a boat in years.”
Swallowing a laugh, I cranked up the boat’s engine, beginning to ease it into the open water. Serena sat at the edge, staring out at the open water, and I kept us chugging along until we reached a small cove, surrounded by pine trees. The fish often bit there.
I wrapped my hands around the fishing rod, lurched it back, and then cast the line far from the boat. I felt Serena’s eyes on me as I fished, gazing at my straining biceps, my tattoo. I knew my effect on women. I could feel it simmering in her blood.
“Why don’t I teach you how to do it?” I said suddenly, surprising even myself.
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