“I didn’t mean-”
Gem held up her hand and stood to her full height. God, she’d needed that laugh.
“Annie, you’re hired.”
“But-”
“No, ‘buts’,” Gem said firmly, but with care. “You’re going to do great.” Gem moved in slowly and held out her hand to the Amazon child, who returned her handshake. Annie’s fingers were long and graceful. Piano player hands. “And Annie,” Gem said. The girl’s grip tightened slightly in anticipation of censure, Gem was sure. “It’s Gem. No, Ms. Harrington. We’re going to be friends. I don’t do the formal thing with friends, Annie.”
Annie assessed Gem for a moment and then her smile returned and she nodded as she moved away.
“Go fill out your paperwork on the table, Annie,” Gem said and turned to the others in her café. She sucked in a breath at the man standing next to Alexia but quickly looked away, gathering her wits. She didn’t miss the smirk on Damon’s face though. Idiot. Thought he knew everything. “Just the highlighted areas. I’ll review the rest with you both when you’re done.” Annie nodded again and walked away briskly toward the table.
Gem stepped in the direction of the others, forcing herself to go slowly because a part of her wanted to run, and she didn’t know why. Shit. She avoided the stranger, but in just the brief look she’d had of him before, she could describe him to anyone.
About the same height as Damon, at 5’10” or so, but lordy, this man was a beast. His shoulders were broad like a weightlifters and his face had the square, harsh look of a fighter. He had very little skin exposed as he wore jeans and a black t-shirt, but his arms and his neck were covered in tattoos.
As she got closer to the group, she couldn’t avoid his gaze any longer. Hell, it wasn’t even that she couldn’t avoid his gaze. She couldn’t look away. The deep brown with the small flecks of green and blue drew her in like the world would end if she didn’t hold onto this moment. She played piano keys against her legs and finally, finally she stood next to them.
Stood next to him.
And damn it all, but she still couldn’t look away. Why? Why couldn’t she look away?
“Gemini Lynn Harrington,” Gem said, holding out her hand to the dangerous man who had already stolen her heart. That was Gem, though. When she chose to dive, she really dove off that cliff. No questions. No qualms. No second guessing. This stranger was important. She usually used a bit of caution, but there was something about this man, something that grabbed at her, and Jesus, but it was scary and beautiful at the same time.
His eyes didn’t look scared. They didn’t look as though her focus on him was odd. No, his eyes said he was feeling the same and she smiled as his hand touched hers. His grip felt like the surety and safety of a warm home when a day’s been long, but it also felt like the hidden pathways and the winding roads of adventures yet to be had.
“Matthew Aaron Garrett.” His voice moved along her epidermis like fresh air and hot sun dancing to the songs of old.
“Why?” She heard Damon ask. “Why do you all insist on sharing your whole names?”
Gem understood his reasoning of course. He’d explained it that first day, but she didn’t care that it was frowned upon in his culture.
Matthew. Jesus. That name. Matthew already had her held in his gaze.
She was still a little weirded out by Damon’s ability to actually read her mind, but she’d seen a lot in her travels. She’d seen people healed of rare diseases by Shamans. She’d seen “demons” expelled from those who lived in the hills near Budapest. She’d met tarot card readers and fortune tellers who’d been able to tell her things they couldn’t have possibly known unless they had some sort of supernatural gift.
Not everything in the world was as it seemed.
“All right, kiddos.” Alexia moved into Gem’s side. “Time to move past the moment.” Gem turned her attention, reluctantly, toward the redhead who’d been in and out of her café these past few weeks, most of the time to distract Devon from his projects. Those two had something special, something that made Gem sigh a bit. “I heard you needed someone in the mornings before Jerome gets here, someone to help you out with the frothy milk making shit,” she said as she smiled toward Jerome and Annie. Annie ducked her head and grinned, and Gem gave Alexia a look of gratitude. She understood. Alexia understood the girl needed some encouragement.
“You want me to make coffee?” Matthew asked and Gem laughed. His gaze tracked the movement of her lips, but she wasn’t self-conscious. No. Instead, she wanted to keep laughing until he was so overcome by her that he’d do something about the chemistry between them. Shit. She was lost. So fucking head over heels. Dial it back, babe, she thought. Then she remembered why she’d need him. Chemo. Treatments. Her illness. He’d be able to cover the café while she was in her treatments and open on her more difficult mornings, something she was hoping to avoid, but that she needed to prepare for just in case. Those thoughts sobered her up real quick.
“Not sure he’s the best man for the job,” Gem said as she made her way to behind the barista station. “I need someone who’s dedicated and can take over anytime.” She looked at Matthew through the eyes of an employer. A fading black eye that seemed to be disappearing right before her eyes. A harsh look to his features overall. A perpetual scowl. Douchebag Asshole was basically written on his forehead. Even the smirk on his face at her perusal didn’t dampen the bad boy look this guy put off. Shit. She’d do him in a hot second, but she didn’t know if she could depend on him for her café. This was her business. Hell, this was her livelihood now.
“I’m a hard worker, but I’m not going to beg, little cat.”
She didn’t correct the nickname. She should have. But she couldn’t. Because she’d thought, big cat, as soon as she’d seen him.
“We open at six am. I’d need you here at five. And I’d need you until noon Monday, Wednesday and Friday and until two pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Jerome and Annie will take over the other hours, and I’ll train you all until I think you’ve got it.”
Shit. She’d basically just told him he was hired. Where the hell had that come from?
His goddamned sexy smirk reached his eyes and she couldn’t help but return the look with a smile of her own. She made a conscious effort to look at Alexia and Damon, because she basically hadn’t taken her eyes off Matthew since she’d started walking across the room toward them.
“Sounds good, little cat.”
“And Matthew,” Gem said, looking him over from head to toe. “It’s Gemini. Not little cat.” She had to put her foot down on something.
“Says the woman who just unleashed her claws,” Matt muttered, and Gem laughed outright.
Gem turned to Damon, who still hadn’t lost the shit eating grin he’d had on for the last ten minutes. “And you say I’m trouble, Garrison.”
“Garrison?” Alexia asked, bewildered as she looked between Damon and Gem.
“Her nickname for me,” Damon said, and Gem raised her eyebrow. Matthew moved in between her and Damon and she saw it for what it was. Men. Stupid men.
“You start on Monday, Matthew-”
“It’s Matt-”
“I think I’ll call you Matthew,” Gem said with a wink. Show him she was still the boss. His dimple appeared as he gave her a lopsided grin and her heart about melted.
She should have mentioned the chemo, her illness, but she was still hoping that maybe the signs were wrong. She also didn’t want Matthew’s look to change. She didn’t want his honest and sexual perusal of her to turn to worry and concern and a complete lack of interest.
“Monday,” she repeated. “We’ll do the paperwork then.” She turned to Damon and Alexia and she didn’t miss the secret smiles both of them had. Fuck it. They could think what they wanted. She was on death’s doorstep anyway, right? Jesus, she couldn’t think that way. She didn’t miss the smile slip from Damon’s face. “Thanks, guys. I really do need the help. I’m gonna get these two sett
led.” She gave them a nod and they all said their goodbyes as she walked over to Jerome and Annie.
She was really doing this.
Hell, she’d done it.
She had a café.
A business.
A growing awareness of a place she could actually call home.
And she was most likely sick again.
Fuck.
Yes, that had been a bit of a kick in the pants, hadn’t it? But she could do this, right? Yes. Yes, she thought firmly. Yes, she could do this. She’d fought her illness before and she could do it again.
She thought of the mysterious Matthew and smiled as she walked past the artfully made tree trunk in the center of her café.
Discovery.
Not all discoveries were good, but just like the best people, there was light and there was dark, and she’d survive this just as she’d always survived.
She touched the tree trunk and felt its steady power, the power that art brings to everything, and she said a silent prayer to the universe that all would be well as she moved forward into more discoveries.
Five
My December
“Annie! Annie!”
She heard the persistent voice of the teacher, but she couldn’t answer. Annie hated when real life felt like background noise and her nightmares felt like her whole world. But she was used to anger. She was a magnet for anger and hate and violence.
Her body was a live wire, and if anyone touched her right now, she just knew she’d explode. Explode into a million pieces, scattered forever into the harsh winter wind, useless, worthless, nothing, a fluttering of the breeze that most people ignored because people had forgotten to appreciate the small things.
Small things. Shit. Annie wasn’t small at all. Annie was a big girl. 5’9” tall and 200 pounds, she stood out in a crowd. Most said she had a pretty face and a nice smile, which really just meant she was a fatass. She knew what those comments were. They were, “Buck up. You’ll always be ugly” comments used to pacify people who others thought weren’t worth shit. Words to make the person saying them feel better.
No. No. No. She couldn’t let those dark thoughts take over. She was worth something. She was a person. She did have something to offer. She was smart and funny and she had a pretty face and a nice smile, and…damn it!
Her dark thoughts crept in deeper, dug their heels in, swallowed her whole, and the sound of her name being called faded even further into the background.
“Annie,” a voice whispered into her ear. A large hand touched her arm in a strange way that she wanted to back away from, but she was trying to sleep so she just brushed it away.
“Annie, sweetie,” the voice said, and the words were slurred. Great. Her dad was drunk again. Home from a binge. Her mother was probably fast asleep in bed, knocked out by the painkillers she so often took. And now Annie would have to deal with her dad, who was one minute overly touchy feely and the next a ticking time bomb of anger when he had too much to drink. She didn’t want to deal with either. At fourteen, she just wanted to be normal.
But she wasn’t normal. She’d never been normal.
“Dad, go to bed,” Annie said, turning over to look at her father. “Mom’s probably worried.” She wasn’t of course. They both knew she was passed out.
“Oh, sweetie,” her dad slurred, taking his thumb and caressing her cheek, “you know your mom won’t miss me.” He continued caressing her face, and the bone deep fear that Annie ignored most days settled like a heavy weight in her stomach. “You know she hasn’t sucked me off in over five years, sweetie?”
Shit.
No, Annie thought.
No. No. No. No, she thought firmly. It had not come to this. It hadn’t. Not now. Please god, not now.
“Dad, go to bed,” Annie repeated, but the words were muffled by tears she hadn’t realized had started creeping down her pale cheeks.
“Not, yet, little Annie,” her dad said with quiet anger. “No, I think I’ll just stay with you for a bit, sweetie. What do ya’ say?”
She couldn’t say. She couldn’t speak. She tried to sit up, to move away, but the hand that had been on her cheek landed on her hip in a strong grip that she couldn’t escape. He was drunk. That should have made him weaker. Why couldn’t she escape? Why couldn’t she make it stop?
God…
She had to-
She had to make it stop.
His grip tightened and beer-tinged breath touched her lips in what was her first kiss. Rough and sloppy. His mouth attacked hers, and she felt blood drip from her lips, as piercing pain radiated from her breast where he’d just ripped her shirt open and grabbed at her. Bruising pain that caused her to cry out.
“Stop!” she cried, except her cry was pitiful. It was the cry of a little girl pleading with her daddy to stop what he was doing.
Except her daddy never stopped.
Not before that night when he’d make her take off her clothes so he could beat her where no one could see.
And not that night as she felt the shock of her first sexual experience flying away into the abyss of lost souls. Because that was what she was now. A lost soul. A disgusting thing. A damaged, broken nobody without body or substance.
She looked off into that abyss of darkness as her innocence was stolen from her, as one of the people she should have been able to trust to keep her safe ravaged her internally and externally, as he broke her into a million ugly pieces and she felt herself change in irrevocable ways.
She felt a touch on her arm, and she shrieked and back away, crouching on the ground like a wild beast as everyone around her laughed at her outburst. Except for one person. Caleb Marks. She’d noticed him. Had thought him one of the most beautiful people she’d ever met.
Caleb had blue, spiked hair and clothes that had a pseudo-grunge look, like his parents would only let him shop at the Gap, but he’d choose the worst shit he could find at that goddamned Gap. He was over 6’0”, a little on the wiry side, but anyone could see the muscles underneath his clothes. Well, at least they would if they looked. And Annie had looked, not out of sexual interest. She had no desire to have sex ever. But she appreciated his beauty. There was an art to his features. His face was almost gaunt, but it wasn’t gaunt due to underfeeding. No, his body was in contrast to his face. He just looked ethereal, like the vampire romances she read. She shook her head to ward off the fanciful thoughts.
She couldn’t think that now. Couldn’t think anything of him, except that he was just like the others. He didn’t laugh, didn’t smile at her obvious pain. No, he didn’t do any of that, but he had been the one to touch her. And his look was angry. Though what the hell he had to be angry about, she didn’t give two shits over.
She grabbed her bag and walked out of the classroom, wiping the tears from her eyes as she stepped into the girl’s bathroom. The safe place for high school girls, right? She flung her bag into the corner and checked the stalls before locking the bathroom door. She didn’t care. She needed to breathe, to let everything go-
To cry and wail like the big baby she was.
Four years.
Four years, her father had been sneaking into her room and having his way with her, and she was almost out. So close to leaving, she could taste it.
She’d taken courses during summer school because as much as her nightmares hounded her, she was still one of the smartest kids in school. Scratch that. She was determined and driven. Not smart. But no matter what the reason for her success, she was just happy that she was graduating two quarters early.
Her eighteenth birthday would hit on February 18, and she’d be gone. She’d be free, and she’d never have to see that man ever again. Or her mother, her mother who let it happen. Her mother who was too drugged up to be the fucking caretaker Annie needed. Her mother who’d let the Darkness have her so long ago.
And with her new job she’d be able to save up more than the little bit she had stashed away from birthday parties. $721.65 wasn’t going to get her fa
r, but damn, it was December. She had two months. That was all.
58 days really.
She could do this.
She took long, fortifying breaths, letting her tears dry up, and tucked her anger inside for another time.
She’d eat her feelings later.
She waited for the bell to ring and walked to her next class.
Let them say what they wanted about her.
She was a fatty with a pretty face.
She was a freak.
She was everything they thought she was.
But she was also more.
Or at least she hoped she was.
That’s what all this pain was for, right? So, she could move on, get away from all the nightmares, and become better, stronger, and less of who she’d been made to be.
Because that was the thing about Annie Holden. Since the day she’d been born, she’d brought the bad to her.
She attracted the anger like a magnet.
Evil wasn’t just at her door. Evil was knitted into the very fabric of her being, and she would never get away from it.
She was Darkness.
But maybe, just maybe, if she could find someplace new, someplace she truly belonged, she’d become a little more Light too.
Six
No Roads Left
Matt’s right hook hit the brick exterior of Bean me up, Butterscotch.
Then his left hit, and blood trickled down the back facade.
Again.
And Again.
And Again.
His blood coated the red and brown brick, but the rain washed it away as soon as the red was exposed to the air. It flowed, rain and Luna blood, down the wall and into the drain at the back of the café.
He could have walked the ten feet into the woods, shifted, and run it off, but he needed to hit something, needed to hit someone.
And if he was honest, his favorite sparring buddy, Ben, wasn’t there.
Dancing with the Devil (Wild Beasts Series) Page 5