by Amber Lynn
“Forever it’s just meant that a female gets marked to show possession. She does and is whatever her male counterpart wants her to be.”
I had to have a skeptical look on my face. It may have been disbelief, though, because I didn’t think for a second that Nikki let anyone command her. Of course, she’d mentioned marrying a human, so maybe she wasn’t mated to him and was allowed to make her own decisions.
“Paul is the ex-husband I mentioned earlier. He’s also father to one of my daughters, so you were right on when you thought we lived a dramatic life.”
“And you said your daughters were twins?”
“A story for another day. As far as Jack goes, He’s still hesitant to understand that his heart doesn’t always agree with the years of hate that were drummed into his head. He always thought he’d find a cute little werewolf and they’d have a relationship like every other werewolf couple.”
If he was as liberal about handing out free kisses as he’d been with me, his little werewolf mate was going to end up killing a few people. I doubted they dealt with infidelity any better than humans or witches, and I’d heard a few tales about how witches got back at cheating partners. There was a chance I even had firsthand experience.
“And you’re telling me this because all his acting to draw out the incubus is going to set some female wolf off and I need to prepare myself?”
“No,” she said shaking her head. “I’m telling you because he isn’t acting. I’m planning on getting something out of the reading tomorrow, but more than anything, I just wanted him to finally introduce himself to you. You’re like me in a sense that you’re a flame, and men seeking a strong partner in life are like moths.
“It’s going to sound creepy, but six months ago he was called to deal with a robbery case down the block from the library and you happened to be heading for work that morning. I’m not saying it was love at first sight, but you piqued his interest and he’s made a habit of making sure you got around safely each day.”
“He’s been stalking me. How in the world have I missed that?”
“He doesn’t see it as stalking, because it’s more a protection detail for him. Even without my help, he’s good at that sort of thing. I won’t teach him to read people’s minds, but I thought being able to cover the energy that rolled off him would be helpful, so I taught him how to open up that part of his brain.”
I drummed my fingers on the table as I contemplated what she was saying. Whether he could cover his tracks or not, I was a poor excuse for a witch.
“Woman to woman, how bad is it? I haven’t been able to figure out if he’s just acting or if he’s been serious all day.”
She’d already given me an answer, but I wanted to hear it again. With her admission, serious seemed to be winning out, and that spelled all kinds of trouble. I wasn’t looking to have a relationship. Thinking about it caused me to get out of my chair, so I could pace a little bit.
The very first piece of wooden floor board I stepped on creaked. I waved my arm quickly and uttered a single syllable to make sure it wouldn’t happen again. More magic I shouldn’t have done.
“The incubus fighting for you has caused a little damper in what would’ve been a very long courtship, knowing Jack. Werewolves, at least the ones I deal with, have gotten better about reining in their temper, but jealousy is something that we don’t deal well with.”
“And there’s a reason why he didn’t just walk up to me and ask me out? I don’t know that I agree with the whole flame and moth analogy, but if it’s true, I would’ve thought he’d try to step things up beyond just stalking me.”
“I can read their minds, but it doesn’t mean I always understand the nonsense often running through their heads. Anyway, bringing up that the incubus knows you aren’t like Abbie was just something that triggered his manly emotions. He doesn’t like that the incubus knows your name, let alone how strong you are.”
“Is there anything I can do to scare him off? Relationships, as fun as they can be, don’t usually go well for me.”
Even with the underlying attraction I felt for him, weird things always seemed to happen to guys I dated. It was more than likely me causing the problems. When my very first boyfriend cheated on me, it ended up starting the dark time in my life that I tried to forget.
“We’ve all had dark times. I think yours was more of a defense mechanism, and if you didn’t notice, it didn’t trigger when my brother started following you around. Whether he blocked you from sensing him or not, your instincts would’ve pricked up.”
“What do you know about my dark times? You haven’t hidden the fact that you can read minds, but I try really hard not to think about those days.”
I hated that there weren’t any windows in the room to look out. I continued to just pace around, trying to find something to keep my attention. Since the room only had the table and an empty buffet off to the side, there wasn’t a lot to consider.
“I know what I’ve heard. You were born fifty-three years ago and found in the middle of the woods. You grew up in the home of the pastor of a church after being passed around a few times, You often found things happened that couldn’t be explained when you were around, and that scared people.”
“Who told you that? Even with the access Jack has to police databases, no one should’ve known that kind of detail. I’ve done a great job of covering my tracks.”
No matter what twists the conversation was taking, Nikki remained calmly in her seat. Sometimes I saw pity in her eyes, but for the most part she just said what she needed to say in response to my questions.
“Of course you have. You’ve made a whole new life and run from what you actually are. I spent many years running from the fact that I was a monster. It’s not easy being different, which is why I’m trying to teach the wolves I interact with that they need to be who they are, but do so in normal society. Closing yourself off from the world around you isn’t the answer.”
“People don’t want to see who I can really become. It’s not safe if I let the person who ruled inside of me during those dark days out.”
“If there’s one thing a werewolf knows without a doubt, it’s learning control. You don’t have to hold it all in. We can help you figure out how to keep things from getting dark without giving up who you are.”
“And who exactly do you think I am?”
I tried hard to define that, but my definition started and ended with Kennedy Holmes, mild mannered library. Trying to be anything else was a slippery slope.
“That really isn’t for me to say. You define who you are. I’m just saying you don’t have to hide what you are as deeply as you have been. There are ways to be what you are and who you want to be.”
“Did your source tell you how bad things got? When I let go, people get hurt.”
I hadn’t officially killed anyone, but my lashing out towards men had caused more injuries than I wanted to count. I’d been known to inflict broken bones and deep lacerations without even touching the victim.
During that time, magic was my daily life. I did what I wanted, when I wanted, and nothing stood in my way. I couldn’t see going back to that point after coming so far.
“I can list specific incidents you’ve worked to forget, if that would make you feel better.”
“Does he know?”
“He thought you sent the tornado after him because he came on too strong this morning. He’s aware there’s a darkness in you, but everyone has that place.”
“Not everyone can catch people on fire or cause hearts to stop with just a thought. Just talking about it is making me itchy.”
The energy inside me felt like hundreds of spiders climbing up my arms. I worked to calm myself down. It had been years since the tingles had tried to take over.
“I’m not suggesting you let it all out today, so we’ll move on to happier topics. I’m not sure exactly what those are, though. Maybe it’s time we caught up with Jack. He’s not happy about waiting outside.”<
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“I can’t imagine he’d be any happier in here. I might send a tornado after him after hearing he hasn’t been acting.”
Nikki finally moved more than just facial expressions as she pushed her chair away from the table. She walked around the table and held her hand out to me.
“I know Jack told you I said you were too nice to send a tornado after him, but I actually told him if you didn’t like the way he acted, you would’ve turned his organs inside out. Plus, I doubt you’d really let a few walls get in your way if you wanted to do real damage.”
As she spoke, I went ahead and put my hand in hers. I knew she was strong because of the tricks she was able to play, but I didn’t expect to feel the push of power she sent into me. My initial response was to push back, which made her exert more force.
“You’re still holding back. If you wanted to, you could throw me across the room without uttering a word.”
“And you want me to embrace that? I think it’s better if I just continue the way things are. There were times I didn’t even remember the things that I did.”
“Things change,” she said, dropping my hand. “If you can honestly tell me you’re really happy with how things are, I won’t push you. Like I said earlier, I know how it feels to hide what you are, and as smart as it seems, it hurts in the long run.”
“So are you really some reincarnation of a wolf queen? That’s how you explain being different from Jack?”
“It took me a while to believe it, but it explains why I’ve always been odd. It helps that I found a partner in life to be odd with.”
“But he’s not the human you mentioned. My life is so simple right now, and I think you and your brother are doing a little bit too well as far as disrupting the calm.”
Nikki smiled and walked towards the door. I had tons of questions I wanted to ask, because the conversation had jumped around so much that I wasn’t sure what I had gained over the quick meal.
“You’ll meet Vik tomorrow. He was Jack’s partner before we moved, and the two of them together can be a bit much. Throw in Paul, and you’re going to be happy you had a chance to have a little calm before that storm.”
“I’m taking it you needed this night out more than you let on.”
“It’s nice to be around a female who’s older than seven. I haven’t really had a lot of friends in my life, but I told myself when I moved here I would try. Sadly, I’ve been too busy to actually work on that.”
When we made it to the front of the restaurant, John was waiting for us with a paper bag in his hand. The man seemed a little too friendly and attentive. Even at places I frequented, I didn’t think the front of the house personnel knew my name.
“Since you didn’t bring the rest of the family, and you neglected to have dessert, I went ahead and packed up a few pies to take home. Two apples and one cherry, because I know little Sierra likes to be different.”
“I hope you put them on the bill for Jack to pay for. We don’t take handouts.”
John shook his head as he handed over the package. I got the sense he’d tried to hand food out before and hadn’t been successful.
“I don’t understand why you insist on silly things like paying when you own the restaurant. I thought you bought it because of how much money it was costing you to eat.”
Nikki waved a hand at John in dismissal and continued her walk towards the door. I assumed she’d had a conversation with the man before, and I respected the fact she wasn’t going to have it again.
Jack was preoccupied talking to someone in a SUV as we made our way to the parking lot. Whoever it was felt similar to Nikki, so I made what I considered an educated guess that it was her husband. I figured the person who ended up taking her away from her human had to have been her equal.
“I like to think he’s a little stronger, but others have hinted that we’re equal. It looks like I have my own ride home, so you’re stuck flying solo with Jack. I’m sure he’ll be a perfect gentleman.”
“Since you’ve assured me he knows what would happen if he wasn’t, I imagine there won’t be any issues. Do I have to wait until tomorrow to be introduced?”
Nikki was quick to push Jack out of the way as she opened the passenger side door. If he hadn’t been in the middle of speaking, he probably would’ve opened it for her, but clearly she didn’t have time to waste.
“Sorry, we really shouldn’t leave Paul alone with the kids for too long. He’s always had a soft spot for the girls and just thinking about the things they’ve convinced him to do gives me a headache. We’ll see you tomorrow afternoon.”
Jack had just enough time to step away before his toes were flattened by the vehicle’s wheels. On his way over to where I stood, he let out a big sigh. If he thought his day had been rough, he really needed to get in line.
“I promise you my brother-in-law really isn’t as rude as he may have just seemed. Evidently they were dealing with a six-month-old terror while Nikki was gone. Paul isn’t going to last long alone.”
I didn’t have any experience with babies, but I didn’t recall hearing or reading about six months being a particularly bad time.
“That’s fine. I’m still trying to figure out why I haven’t tried to kill you, and at the same time, why you seem to be attracted to me. Isn’t there a nice werewolf lady out there you’d rather settle down with?”
Jack had led me to the truck and helped me get in. The lift on the truck wasn’t the highest I’d seen, but it did take a little effort.
“Maybe it’s because I know what you’ve done in the past, and the fact that you haven’t killed me that intrigues me. My interest has never been a game, so don’t think I’ve been creeping around trying to see what you’d do.”
“Knowing my past, you’d be a complete idiot if you did that. Are you going to let me read you tomorrow? I’d like to know what the cards say about you.”
I didn’t need cards to read him, but Abbie used the expression a lot since she relied on her cards. It seemed to make people feel better if you had an object helping instead of just looking at them and knowing things.
Jack started the truck as he thought about my idea. If what Nikki had said, and Jack hadn’t immediately denied, was true, he didn’t have anything to lose letting me know the truth.
“Is there a reason why you couldn’t do it tonight? If the Friday only rule is to keep your magic in check, why don’t we live on the wild side and see what kind of trouble we can get in.”
There was no move to put the truck in gear. He wanted an answer before we moved. I looked over at him to study him a little bit closer. I knew if I asked him whether he knew what he was getting into, he’d say yes, so I wanted to see in his eyes that he understood.
What I saw was that he’d been very careful hiding things behind those moss-colored eyes. He may have found himself in love with me, but a part of the attraction was the adventure he thought I’d be.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea after the day I’ve had. I guess that means you have about a five-minute drive to convince me otherwise.”
I was curious enough that I knew I’d cave and do the reading, but I wanted to play a little bit. He’d been studying me long enough that I had some catching up to do.
“I’m up for that challenge,” Jack said as he headed towards my house.
Chapter Eight
“To your point about me settling down with a werewolf, there was a time not long ago when I would’ve done just that. I’m guessing Nikki told you that I hated humans. Wolves were raised to do so, and when one of them took my sister away, I became really good at it.”
“I’m not exactly a human. Were witches lumped in with the group?”
Jack nodded his head without saying anything in the affirmative. He knew I was watching, and it almost seemed like he moved his head imperceptibly to see if I’d notice.
“From the very first time I saw you, I knew you weren’t a witch. You aren’t a werewolf either, though, so I was curious. Gett
ing to know you without actually being a part of your life was kind of interesting. You remind me a lot of my sister with all the control you exhibit each day. I’ve learned to tread lightly because of what I do, but I always feel like breaking out of my shell.”
“Do you have control when you’re a wolf? When I get mad and let loose, sometimes I don’t even remember what I’ve done. I just find someone with a broken body.”
“Blackouts are all sorts of fun. I usually don’t lose total sense of what’s going on, but I don’t tend to be in control when I shift.”
I hadn’t met another person who truthfully went through anything like I had. The other witches I knew barely had power to control. With enough preparation, a few could do big things, but it didn’t come natural to anyone else that I’d met.
That fact resulted in a very long life of feeling alone, which was probably the point Nikki had tried to get to with her main line of questioning. I had Abbie, though, so the loneliness wasn’t as bad as it once had been.
“What exactly do you think I am? I’ve found enough similarities with the witches I know that I fit in pretty well with them.”
“Can you hold that question until tomorrow? I never knew someone like you existed, so I had to be told, and it’s probably best it’s explained by someone other than me.”
“Why?”
We were already pulling into my driveway. Since he hadn’t really made any kind of case for a reading that night, I’d expected him to go around the block a time or two.
Looking at the somewhat imposing exterior of my house – vines covered over half of the brick in the front – I pondered whether the inside was ready for a male visitor. In the five years I’d lived there, no man had crossed over the threshold, and very few females had.
“Because I feel if I fill in all those blanks, you’ll think I only like you because of what you are. I’m sure that sounds horrible and doesn’t make sense, but I want our relationship to be about the people we are, not what we are.”