“I’m sorry too, Gia. I hope you find what you’re missing and I wish you the best of luck with the therapy.” Why was he being so short and cold with me? That made me angry.
“Ethan, why are you doing this to me right now? I need you, I thought you loved me!” I was crying hard by then.
“I’m doing this because I love you, Gia.” He hung up. What the fuck!
I called him back, it went right to voicemail. No! You cannot do this to me! I sobbed into my pillow. I called him again, and again, and again. I knew he’d shut his phone off, but I kept calling anyway, just in case there was a chance. I left a message.
“How can you say you love me and then hurt me like this? You know I can’t handle this right now. Just call me, or better yet, you said all I had to do was tell you to come and you would. Come to California, Ethan, I have to see you. You said if I ever needed you, you would be there. I need you!” I was sobbing so hard he probably couldn’t understand what I was saying. “How can you do this to me? You said you loved me, no matter what. You said you loved me.” I barely got the last sentence out. It was barely a whisper, I was exhausted.
I crawled under my blanket and cried until I passed out.
Chapter 12
Ethan
I turned the power off on my phone, put my head in my hands, and lost it. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. We were having a sexy phone conversation one minute, and then I told her she should see other people the next! How could she make out with some guy and then act like nothing was up? I knew this was going to happen! How could she do this to me? I felt like the wind had just been knocked out of me and I couldn’t breathe.
I laid down and closed my eyes. I second guessed everything I’d said to Gia. I almost called her back seven times. I thought about her kissing some guy and it was brutal. I could hear him telling her how he wanted her to come back to his room and let him ‘show her body how much he appreciated it’. Who the fuck says something like that? How could Gia be attracted to that? I wanted to see what he looked like. I wanted to see what Gia saw in him. I still couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t concentrate. Thoughts were flying around in my head, bouncing off of each other, it was chaotic.
I was shaking. I tried to take deep breaths, but my heart was pumping so fast it made me get light headed. I sat up, but it made me want to run to her, so I laid back down. As my head hit the pillow, it pushed out her scent and I eagerly sucked it in. I was more distraught than I’d ever been or knew I could be. The pain was deeper than anything I’d ever felt. I couldn’t regain control. I didn’t know a life without Hotness, and the thought of living it was a nightmare.
I finally fell asleep. I had a horrible dream. It was about Gia. She had spent the night and I woke up to her thrashing, crying, and having her own nightmare.
“Gia!” I said sternly, shaking her.
She was hitting me and pushing me away.
“Gia!” I tried to get control of her, but couldn’t.
“No! Ethan! You’re hurting me!” She was having a nightmare about me!
“Gia! I’d never hurt you, wake up!”
She woke, but the crying continued and when she looked at me, I saw fear in her eyes.
“Gia, it’s okay, it was a nightmare,” I told her softly, trying to take her in my arms, but she wouldn’t let me.
“Don’t touch me, Ethan! I don’t want you to touch me!” She was scared of me.
“Okay, Gia. I’d never hurt you, you know that, don’t you?”
“No, I don’t!” She glared at me. “You’re always hurting me.” Her voice was accusatory.
“What? When?” I was shocked.
“Always! Every time! You think I like it when you touch me, but I don’t.” She looked at me like she hated me. I felt like she’d stabbed me in the chest.
I woke up in a cold sweat. I was breathing rapidly. I got up and paced around my house. I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and gulped it down. I thought about how Gia had nightmares constantly and I couldn’t imagine having to get used to something so disrupting. I laid back down and closed my eyes. All I could see was Gia crying and telling me she hated when I touched her. It was a long, long night.
***
When morning finally came, I drug myself out of bed and into the shower. My body ached, like someone besides Vince had beaten the shit out me. Every time Gia popped into my head, I forced her out. I made some breakfast and checked my messages. Gia was on my voicemail and her message tore me up. Part of it was hard to understand because of her sobbing. I spent the next thirty minutes staring at my phone, wanting to call her. I was doing to her what I promised her I wouldn’t. I couldn’t have ever imagined that she’d give me reason to break that promise, but she did. I had to get it out of my mind.
I headed out to get some work done. There was a lot of clean-up going on from the decent crowd we’d had the night before. I got right to work helping and before I knew it, it was time for the morning meeting.
When I walked in, I could tell word had gotten around about Vince’s firing and punching me out. My face was pretty swollen and my eye was black and blue. Some people gasped when they saw me and others just stared. I didn’t care, it was the least of my concerns.
“Good morning, everyone,” I started. “Good job last night. Rose filled me in and it sounds like you all did great. Just a couple of things I’d like to go over. Vince is no longer employed here, nor is he welcome on the property. I know he’s a friend to many of you,” I glanced at Shelley, who was glaring at me, “but please keep that relationship away from The Lock. I’ve got calls out there for a replacement, but until then I’ll need some help keeping our schedule and shows going as smoothly as Vince did.” He was really good at his job, but I knew we could handle it for a while. “As always, we’re a team, and as long as we all have the same goal in mind, we’ll be a success.” I saw a lot of smiles and nods.
“That brings me to my next issue.” I glanced over at Rose, who was smiling at me. “After going over the numbers with Rose from last weekend, I was overwhelmed. It seems only natural to share with your team your successes.” Their faces all lit up and I felt like Santa. “I’ve asked Rose to have bonus checks for each of you before you leave tomorrow night. They’re based on the amount of summers you’ve been part of this team, and for those of you who stick it out for the rest of this summer, I’d like to do another bonus at that time.” I looked at Rose again. “What do you think, Rose?”
She smiled. “I think that’s doable, and quite generous.” I could feel how proud she was of me and it made my heart stop aching for a moment.
Everyone seemed thrilled. I knew most of those folks could really use the extra money, and it greatly boosted the morale. “Okay everyone, let’s do this.” They all headed to work.
On the way out, Shelley stopped in front of me. She reached her hand up and touched my face softly. “Quite the shiner you have there, Ethan.” She had a wicked grin on her face.
“Not much you can do when a coward sucker punches ya.” Trey had walked up and was glaring at Shelley. She pulled her hand back and her grin disappeared.
“I better get to work,” she said. “See you guys around.”
“Might want to keep an eye on her,” Trey said. “She’s a bitter one when she doesn’t get what she wants.”
I nodded, knowing he was right. “Let’s go talk to the backstage crew.” I was hoping to get a replacement here for Vince soon, but until then, we were going to have our work cut out for us.
My phone rang, it was Hotness. I ignored it. I knew she had her friends with her and she’d be okay. Maybe she could call Zane and he’d kiss her until she felt better. I could feel my blood pressure rising and my jaw was clenched tight. I took a deep breath.
“Everything okay?” Trey asked.
I nodded, not wanting to get into it.
When we got to the backstage area, I was happy with what I saw. Everything looked like it was on track. I felt relieved, and as
I walked through and touched base with all the guys, I felt even better. They all knew what needed to be done and most had worked here long enough to know how Vince handled things, so I was confident about how the night was gonna go.
I told Shane he was still in charge. He’d been there the longest and I knew he’d had some issues with Vince, so I felt like I could trust him the most at that moment. I wasn’t worrying myself about backlash or retaliation, but I knew it was a possibility and right up Vince’s alley, so I had to consider it.
“Shane, thanks for all the extra work, I appreciate it. Call me if you need anything, okay?”
“Of course, Ethan,” he said. “Don’t worry about a thing.”
Trey and I headed over to the VIP area. We worked for about an hour and then drove through the campground. As we stopped to visit with Marcus, Trey got a phone call. He walked off to talk and I went through some stuff with Marcus. I glanced over at Trey a couple of times and I could tell he was getting an earful. He looked at me with an odd expression and I was curious who he was talking to. I finished up with Marcus and waited for Trey in the truck. As I sat there, I glanced over to the c-store parking lot and my mind automatically took me back to the first time I saw Hotness. I had to force it to stop, I couldn’t go there. I reached into the glove box and took out a cigarette. My heart and mind were racing; I hadn’t noticed Trey was about to hop in.
“Maybe there’s something you want to talk about?” Trey asked.
“No, not really,” I said. “Why?”
“That was Dana on the phone.” Shit! “Why didn’t you tell me you broke it off with Gia?”
“I don’t feel like talking about it.” I started the truck and headed for home.
“She’s not handling it very well, Ethan. It seems like a pretty shitty time to do that to her, right before she checks into a strange place for a month. Don’t you think?”
“She met someone at a club last night. They kissed and she wanted to go back to his room. I told her she should see other people. She isn’t ready to be committed to me. I can’t share her or trust her.” I was very matter of fact, cold almost. It didn’t feel good, but neither did having to face the fact that the woman you loved wanted to be in another man’s bed.
“Fuck, Ethan! When did you become such a smug asshole?” He shook his head.
I pulled up to the house and turned off the truck. “I don’t know,” I told him. I wasn’t in the mood for talking. I just wanted to be alone. “I’m gonna get something to eat. I’ll see you later.” I headed for the house.
“I think you should talk to her,” he called after me. I went in and shut the door. I didn’t need Trey giving me advice on women.
I made some lunch and checked my emails. I had two messages from possible replacements for Vince. I called both of them back and was able to do some short interviews with them. I really liked one of them and he could be there as soon as Wednesday, so I offered him the job. He seemed thrilled and I was hopeful he’d be an asset to our team.
Gia called again and I ignored it. I turned on the TV and tried to get interested in something, anything. No luck. My phone rang, it was Shane. He was in a panic.
“We’ve got big problems! Vince has fucked with all the bands for tonight! No one is showing up!”
“What do you mean? Shane, calm down and tell me what’s going on!”
“I got a call from a friend of mine, and he was wondering why we’d cancelled some of tonight’s shows. I did some checking and apparently Vince is trying to fuck us over.” I couldn’t believe it!
“How much time do we have?” I’m gonna fix this shit. There was no way I’d let Vince win.
“We’ve got about four and a half hours until the first one is supposed to start, and the other two play immediately after that.”
“Okay, Shane, can you get away from there without everything falling apart?”
“Yeah, it’s all good right now.”
“Good, get over here. We’ve got our work cut out for us.” I was fired up, in a good way. I knew if I couldn’t get it straightened out, it could really hurt The Lock, but it had my mind on something else, and it felt good.
When Shane got there, I had a list of people for him to call and explain what had happened. I had my own list and we spent the next hour trying to make amends and fix what Vince had broken. I hadn’t known Shane very well before. He had a lot of friends in the music business and some of his contacts were impressive.
“Looks like we got us a show, now we need to get these rockers here!” I was excited. We’d gotten two of the bands we’d originally booked to come, and thanks to Shane, we had a hot new band to play in between the two. The one we couldn’t convince to play was pretty tight with Vince, so I wasn’t surprised. I had to pay them anyway, but if we could pull it off and have a great show, I didn’t care.
“No problem,” Shane said, smiling. “Luckily, Vince didn’t hatch his evil plan until this morning, so the buses were still in the city. It might be a little tight on timing to get the first show started, but then we’re on easy street.” God, I like this kid!
“Thank you, Shane, you really came through.”
“That’s what being a part of a team is all about,” he said. It made me second guess my decision earlier on the new hire. Shane would’ve been an obvious choice, had I known him better.
“If I wouldn’t have just promised the job to someone else, I’d be offering you Vince’s position right now. Is that something you’d have been interested in?” He lit up like a Christmas tree.
“Absolutely,” he beamed.
“Stick around,” I told him. “I’ll take care of you.”
“Thanks, Ethan.”
I called Trey, filled him in, and then Shane and I headed backstage to get things ready for our incoming bands. Everything was chaotic as Shane explained the new line-up to everyone and we got the announcement ready for the crowd. There was a lot to be done, more than I would’ve thought, for sure. I was helping wherever I was needed. I was called a couple of times to run here or there for other issues, but then I’d go right back and help Shane. My phone rang again and I wondered where I’d need to run next.
“Ethan, oh my god, thank you for answering,” Gia said. My heart jumped at the sound of her voice. I’d been so busy, I didn’t even look to see who was calling. Shit!
“I’m sorry, Gia, I can’t do this.” I saw a bus pulling in and Shane was waving and yelling at me to meet it and show it where to go.
“Ethan…” she started.
“Gia, I can’t!” I said and hung up as I caught up to the bus. I blocked it out immediately. I had work to do and I couldn’t stop the show because she needed to talk.
I got the bus parked and met with the band. I thanked them over and over for coming and assured them that what had happened wasn’t the way The Lock normally did business. They were very cool about it and were excited to play after all.
Between trying to get ahold of the bands for the next day to be sure Vince hadn’t cancelled them, and meeting the other bands for that night, Shane and I were hopping for the next few hours. The time flew, and by the time we had it all handled, we were exhausted. The final band of the night had just taken the stage and we had pulled it off!
“Good work, Shane,” I told him. “Let’s go get a beer.” I was tired, but I didn’t want to go home until I was sure the night ended on a good note.
“Sounds good!” Shane said. We headed to the nearest bar.
We stood out with the crowd as we enjoyed our beer. That one turned into another, and before I knew it, we’d had several in a short amount of time. It was unlike me to do so, but I was feeling buzzed by then and didn’t care.
A couple of girls came up and started talking to us and we were having a great time. Shane danced with one of them and I visited with the other. Her name was Lisa. She was very attractive and had a southern accent. I smiled when she talked because it was a refreshing sound. She said she was an insurance agent and told
me a funny story about some guy who wanted a quote on insuring his penis. She was a riot and it felt good to laugh.
The band was finishing up and the girls asked us if we’d meet them the next day for one of the afternoon shows. I could tell by the look on Shane’s face that he wanted to, so I agreed. Lisa gave me a hug goodbye and I held onto her a little longer than what was probably considered appropriate. She gave me a wink and I watched her walk away.
When I got home, I crawled into bed and fell asleep immediately.
Chapter 13
Gia
When I opened my eyes, I had to lay there for a bit and separate the reality from the dream. I’d dreamed about Ethan. It was beautiful, the way it made me feel. He was his usual considerate, loving self, but I was different. I was completely open to him, in every way. He asked me all kinds of questions about my past and I answered every one of them, honestly. I knew that no matter what I told him, he’d still feel the same about me. I was confident and had no doubts about being less than what he deserved. I didn’t feel broken or hurt or angry. I was allowing myself to accept the love he gave.
Tears rolled down my cheeks. I had to face the reality. Ethan broke it off with me because I kissed and admittedly wanted to be with another man. I didn’t blame him. When I found out he’d been with Bridget, it hurt me deeply and I didn’t even know him at the time. It made me question everything I thought I knew about him and I’d pushed him away. How would I have felt if he’d done what I did? Oh my god!
I grabbed my phone and called him. It went to voicemail and I fell back on my bed and sobbed. I curled up into a ball, just like I’d done on my couch so many times. But then, I shot straight up. No! This is what I always do, what I’ve always done! Ethan is worth fighting for!
I jumped up, grabbed my suitcase, and started throwing my shit into it. I pulled on some jeans and realized I had to get a plane ticket. I got my phone and started to search for the soonest flight. My heart was racing and I’d never felt so sure of anything in my life.
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