Baby Batter

by Alexis Angel

  I chuckle. “Well, there’s that,” I say. “And by the way, that’s an amazing rumor to start about him if you want to go nuts with it.”

  “Thank you.” Molly does a little bow. “And I assume no pun intended?”

  “Of course.” I smile. “But he is so not enough for me emotionally either. He just didn’t get me stimulated in a creative way. I think I was in denial.”

  “He sure as fuck didn’t stimulate you by arousing in your pussy either.” Molly laughs with a carefree nature.

  “I suppose that’s true. Now he’s that other chick’s problem.” I laugh bitterly. “He wins the award for shitty ex-boyfriend of the year, though.”

  “I’ll mark him down in the history books,” Molly offers with a grin.

  “He’s not worth remembering.” I shake my head and place the lid back on the ice cream tub.

  “Baby, just forget about guys. Maybe not forever, but for now at least. Give yourself a break.” She nods as if she holds all the answers to the universe in the windows of her eyes.

  “I’m going to swear off men,” I agree with purpose.

  Then privately, I wonder something else. Maybe I can fulfill my life’s destiny by having a baby, and I certainly don’t need a fucking man for the role of motherhood. Well, I might need their cum, but that’s fucking all.

  Speaking of hot cum, I think about how Zane squirted his load all over my desk. I made him clean it up, but watching him do it really turned me on.

  He has load upon load of baby batter if that performance was any indication, and I wonder if he might just be the best candidate to use for a perfect cocktail of genetic perfection.

  I mean, he’s hot as fuck, brilliant, motivated. If he weren’t a total man-whore he’d be the perfect guy. But I don’t need him to be the perfect guy. I just need his man juice.

  Oh my god, am I seriously thinking this right now? I don’t know what my deal is, but this suddenly sounds fucking amazing. This is either the best or the worst idea I’ve ever had.

  4

  Zane

  “Thanks, John. I’ll text him right now.”

  I hang up from my weekly call with my accountant, John Palmer. I need to text our on-call IT guy so he can give John the password into our network to check for any snags in our financial documents. I never want to face an audit, and I make sure to stay on top of my shit.

  I reach into the breast pocket of my jacket. Fuck, where the fuck is my phone?

  I open the drawers to my desk and I come up empty.

  Fuck, not again. I’m always leaving my fucking cell phone in weird fucking places.

  I dial my cell number on my office phone. Maybe someone has it and can let me know where to find it. I feel fucking lost without it.

  My cock twitches in my pants when a seductive yet cool voice answers on the other end.

  “Hello?” she breathes out with electric energy.

  “Piper?” I say with surprise.

  “That’s right, it’s Piper, answering your cell phone.” She laughs wickedly as if she has a dirty little secret she wants to share with me. I imagine her long, slender tan legs wrapped around my waist, and I want to be a part of every secret she has to offer.

  I can feel her smiling with delight on the other end.

  “Why the fuck do you have my phone?” I ask in a strained voice.

  “Why the fuck do you think I have it?” she snarls into the phone with a venomous bite that also has a ring of sarcasm.

  “I’m not really sure, but I like talking to you,” I say and smile too. I get the sneaking suspicion that she may want to flirt a little with me.

  “Um…hello…” she says with mock condescension. “Do you not remember fucking three models and splattering your hot cum all over my office, or did I just dream that up?”

  “It sounds like a great fucking dream to me. Why don’t we do it again? Only this time, you’ll be there joining us.”

  Piper scoffs. “No thanks.”

  There’s a moment of silence between us that has enough sexual tension to pull me right through the phone and into her pussy.

  “So is that a no or do you want to think about it?” I say with a grin.

  “You are so fucking terrible.” She sighs playfully into the phone. “Don’t you ever quit?”

  “I never quit,” I say with a flare of arrogance. “I always get my way,” I add for good measure.

  I want Piper. Let’s be real, I’ve wanted her from the first day I met her, and in this moment I make a fucking bet with myself to have her by the end of the week. And I never lose a bet.

  “This is actually perfect,” I say as an idea pops into my head.

  “What’s perfect?” Piper asks quizzically.

  “This means I’ll have to come by your office to get my phone back. We can have some fun when I get there,” I say mischievously.

  Piper laughs. “What makes you think I’ll be here?”

  “Aw, come on. Don’t you want to see me too?” I flirt.

  “In your dreams, Zane,” she retorts, but I can tell I’m having an effect on her by the way her voice trembles.

  “You use your sex appeal to make me squirm, don’t you?” I get right to the fucking point with this girl.

  “If I have any sex appeal, why would I use it to charm someone such as yourself?” she says coolly.

  I let out a loud, whoopin laugh. “Did you not see how huge my cock is when you walked in on us? Doesn’t that look like a lot of fun? Come on, Piper…don’t pretend you don’t want to play with my fuck stick.”

  Piper roars with laughter. “Oh my god, is that what you call it? Fucking seriously?”

  “I can call it whatever the fuck you want me to,” I whisper with eagerness into the phone, knowing I’m fucking tempting her with my words.

  “I don’t want to call it anything,” she says. And I can feel her rolling her eyes, but I also know she fucking enjoys flirting back.

  She’s fucking sexy as hell, and I imagine hiking up her skirt and fucking her clit with my tongue while she moans and wails and cums all over my face. She’s a naughty girl; I just need to bring it out of her somehow.

  You know those games I play? Well, I need to up my game and fuck the actual CEO this time. Forget the fucking little bitches that work under her. I’m going for gold, baby.

  “Well, if you want your damn phone, you are going to have to come to me to get it,” she says with an air of finality.

  “I’ll gladly come for it.” I’m dripping with sexual innuendos.

  “Is that a fact?” she says, and I sense she’s not ready to hang up yet. Gladly, I’ll talk to this fucking sexy girl all fucking day long.

  “You know I can and I will,” I respond.

  “Well, the models sure seemed like they enjoy you.” She laughs. “Too bad I’m going to have to fucking fire their little bitch asses.”

  “What? You won’t do it. You’re bluffing,” I say.

  “I’m not bluffing!” she shouts. “Zane, they had sex on my fucking desk.”

  “Yeah, but it was with me,” I say, as if that makes some fucking difference.

  “They can’t get away with it. Sorry,” she says flatly.

  “Are you going to tell me you weren’t even slightly turned on by walking in on us?” I grin and eagerly wait for her response.

  Dead silence from Piper. I can literally hear the fucking crickets.

  “You are, aren’t you?” I say and bite my lip as my cock continues to swell.

  “That’s beside the point.” Piper totally fucking dismisses me. “I’m the fucking CEO, and I have a business to run here.”

  “Calm down. No need to get your panties in a bunch. In fact, you might as well just take them off,” I say because I know Piper likes me too much to fire me, even if she’s bad at expressing that fact.

  I’m fucking untouchable, and I fucking know it.

  “Whatever, asshole,” she breathes into the phone. “I have shit to do today. Are you coming to get
your phone or not?”

  “I’ll be there faster than you can say Zane Tanner is a fucking hot piece of ass,” I say.

  “I’m not going to say that, but nice try.” She hangs up, and she leaves me hanging with a rock-hard boner throbbing in my pants.

  I chuckle to myself. Because you know what comes next, right? That’s right, baby. Turn the fucking page. You don’t want to miss this.

  5

  Piper

  My pussy quivers as I sit at my desk, staring at my computer. I’m trying to focus on work, but the only fucking thing I can think about right now is that rock-hard cock of Zane’s.

  Shit, he could seriously fucking injure somebody with that thing. It’s so fucking enormous.

  Or he could seriously pleasure the fuck out of me with it.

  I take a deep breath and put my head in my hands. I shut my eyes tightly and try to force myself to think about anything other than that throbbing piece of man meat attached to the biggest, most arrogant prick on the planet.

  “Are you okay, Piper?”

  I sit at attention, quickly squaring out my shoulders as I notice my assistant staring at me funny from the doorway entrance of my office.

  “I’m fine.” I toss her a nonchalant smile, hoping she can’t see me all flustered on the inside.

  Of course she notices. I’m not fucking stupid. If she didn’t have cause to be alarmed, she wouldn’t be standing in my doorway, staring at me as if I’m wearing my panties on my head.

  I’m currently creaming my panties with some warm pussy juices while I think about Zane, but that’s another story.

  I have to stop this bullshit.

  I clear my throat. “Is there something you need, Sarah?” I give her a polite yet professional smile.

  Sarah is my assistant going on one year now. I hired her literally the next day after she got her college degree. I see potential in her; I just hope she’s not after my job as CEO.

  She also has long blonde hair, but it’s stringier than mine, and she is a little plump.

  Well, maybe plump is an unkind word. How about we say rotund? Or is that too harsh too?

  At any rate, I can tell she enjoys her sweets by her stout figure.

  I enjoy my sweets as much as the next girl, but I prefer them to be in the form and shape of a nice throbbing cock. I try not to imagine curling my lips around Zane’s hard tip while Sarah stands in the doorway.

  “I’m just wondering if you need me to push back your meetings this afternoon.”

  I shake my head and wave my hand dismissively. “That’s not necessary, but thank you for considering it.”

  “No problem.” She gives me a tight little bow and quickly shuffles away back to her cubicle across from my office.

  A few minutes later, Sarah buzzes me.

  “Yes?” I ask.

  “Hi, Piper, um…you have a visitor.”

  A visitor, she says…probably an unwanted one by the inflection of Sarah’s tone.

  I know immediately that it’s Zane. He’s a well-known player and pompous asshole. I know he makes Sarah feel uncomfortable.

  Nevertheless, I ask the question that I already know the answer to. “Okay, who is it?”

  “It’s um…Zane Tanner.”

  I sigh with dramatic effect. “Okay, tell him I’ll be right with him.”

  I play my cards right. I want to win this little undefined game. I want to make him wait, make him squirm in his seat.

  I have every right and reason to fire him as my manufacturer, but I really fucking need him right now. His company is great—the best in the business.

  I can’t afford to lose him. Not now when so much is at stake.

  Firing him would mean I have to start all over with another manufacturer, and there just isn’t fucking time on the schedule to deal with all that shit.

  The deadline I’m running against is tight, and the pressure is on full blast. I have a new lingerie collection coming out for the fall season, and if I want it to get out on time, I need Zane.

  The flaw I’m always working against when it comes to Zane Tanner is that he is fully aware and knows how much I need him.

  This, of course, gives him all the ammunition at his disposal to fuck with me because he knows he can get away with anything. Fucking bastard.

  Don’t get me wrong. Firing Zane brings a tingle to my bones because I know I would enjoy it…believe me. I just can’t start from scratch with some subpar company.

  I take a deep breath and adjust my hair, my blouse, and retouch my makeup.

  What? Don’t judge. I want to look presentable for anyone, not just Zane.

  Okay, maybe there’s a slim chance I want to impress him. He already tells me all the time I’m hot, so I have to live up to the potential. You’d do it too, so don’t give me any bullshit.

  Taking a deep breath, I press the intercom button on my office phone. Sarah picks up on the first ring, and she sounds desperate.

  “Are you ready for him now?” she whispers into the phone.

  “Yes,” I say with a burst of self-confidence. “Send him in.”

  I poise myself and sit up straight, ready for him to make his grand entrance. I’m expecting it, and sure enough, he struts into the room with as much swagger as I think is humanly possible.

  “Hello again,” he says and removes his shades, providing me with an epic view of his dark, captivating eyes.

  “Um, are you really wearing sunglasses inside, dude?” I say. “Seriously, you need to get over yourself.”

  “I’d rather get under you.” He grins with a perfect dimple set in his left cheek.

  Oh my god, is he for real?

  “Zane, listen.”

  “What?” He feigns worry as he sits across from me at the desk. “Are you mad?” Then he flashes that sexy grin again, and I know he’s not fucking scared of anyone or anything.

  “Yes!” I blurt out in a frustrated huff. “Zane, this is serious.”

  I don’t want to look him directly in the eyes because I know he’ll make me cave with the way he stares right through me. Fuck, his eyes are mocha colored and fucking perfection on a platter.

  “You aren’t going to fire me, are you?”

  His voice is a mock whine. He slowly stands up and walks toward me with excruciating precision before standing right above me.

  I’m still sitting in my desk chair as he looks down at me. I swallow hard and instinctively part my legs, but then I quickly realize the mistake and shut them tight like a steel trap once again.

  Fucking hell. I sure as fuck hope he didn’t catch that little misstep.

  “I should fire you,” I begin shakily. “You had sex on my desk. You’re reckless and careless. These are all reasons to let you go…” I trail off, stumbling for the right words.

  “But I’m also precise, smart, and fast,” he begins with a bright, beaming smile. “All reasons to allow me to stay.”

  Now he’s only an inch or so away from my face. I can see the chisel in his jawline; his breath is cool on my cheek. His cologne fills my nostrils, and I want nothing more than to grab him by his shirt and pull him closer for a kiss.

  I restrain myself, knowing I can’t contribute to the very problem I’m scolding him for.

  He knows he’s breaking me. Fuck, so much for trying to keep my poker face.

  “Perhaps I can treat you to dinner as a way to apologize for my less than favorable behavior?” His eyes twinkle with charismatic charm.

  I sigh dramatically and toss my pen into the air. It lands on the desk.

  “Fine.”

  I stand up to meet his gaze.

  “You have one chance to convince me why I shouldn’t kick you out on your ass right now.”

  I make sure I’m firm, and I raise my eyebrows, daring him to protest.

  “That seems fair enough to me,” he says. “Should I lean in for a hug?”

  “Hell no.” I pretend that the sheer thought disgusts me. “But I’ll settle for a handshake.”
/>
  He extends an arm and his grip is firm, just as I imagine his hands would be wrapped around my waist. Or thrusting into my pussy.

  “It’s a deal,” he says. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”

  6

  Piper

  I dial Zane’s number because I want to find out where he’s taking me to dinner so I can prepare how fancy to dress—or not.

  He answers on the first ring, and I smile thinking about how he’s probably as eager as I am to see how this little dinner will go down, as one to note in the history books.

  “Hello?”

  His voice is fresh, clean, and intoxicating on the other end.

  “Hi,” I say and sway my hips as I look out at the park below my bedroom window.

  “Piper?” He sounds like he’s grinning.

  “Yep, how’d you guess?” I drawl with sarcasm.

  “Just a wild hair.” He laughs. “You aren’t cancelling on me last minute, are you?”

  “No, of course not.” I shake my head even though he can’t see me. “I just want to know where you are taking me to dinner.”

  “Have you ever heard of Per Se?” he says proudly.

  “Of course, it’s right by my house.”

  “That’s great. Well, I’ll pick you up at seven then.”

  “Well, wait a second,” I cut him off before he has a chance to hang up on me.

  “Yeah?”

  “There’s no need to pick me up. I can walk. It’s a nice night.”

  “Are you sure?” he asks with a surprised energy.

  “I’m sure. I’ll meet you there at seven,” I confirm.

  “Seven it is,” he quips and we hang up.

  At 7:08, I arrive at the restaurant. It’s dark inside, lit mainly by candlelight on the white clothed tables as a pianist vibrantly plays smooth jazz. His fingers pound and hit the keys with urgency and artistic freedom.

  “There you are.”

  I turn to see a gorgeous, strikingly handsome Zane Tanner with a hungry expression on his face.

  Fuck, he is so damn sexy. How the hell am I supposed to survive this dinner without having an orgasm under the table? Hmm…there’s an idea.