squinted down into her face, a puzzled expression
on his handsome face. “New makeup?”
Audra ignored the question, though she knew it
was true: She did look different. After some initial
irritation, Dr. Jamison’s dermabrasion, along with
her continued efforts with dieting, seemed to be
fading the acne and its scarring. And the daily ap-
plication of the doctor’s lightening cream was defi-
nitely beginning to show its efficacy. Her skin had
more browns and reds in its tone than blacks or
charcoals.
But unlike the weight loss, which brought com-
ments almost daily, to most people, the skin changes
weren’t really noticeable yet—only people who
paid regular attention to her face had commented
on it: her mother, mainly, and to a lesser degree,
Kiana. Audra was a little surprised that the tall
man had commented first on it and not on the fact
that there were nearly forty-five pounds less of
her—especially since she hadn’t seen him in over
two months.
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Instead of launching into a detailed explanation
she wasn’t sure he needed or deserved, she pulled
the cool mantle of an aggrieved dame around her
and quirked an eyebrow at him, lifting her foot off
the rickety break-room seat so the man could settle
into it across from her. “You’re the disappearing
man, Art Bradshaw,” she quipped, sounding exactly
like wisecracking Eve Arden in her own ears. “I
haven’t seen you since . . .” she furrowed her brow
as though trying hard to remember, as if the whole
incident weren’t as fresh as today’s bread. “Since . . .
Penny’s party . . .”
Bradshaw’s tawny skin seemed tinged with red.
“Penny’s party . . .” he grumbled, lowering his lu-
minous eyes from her face. “Sorry, Marks. About
Penny and the way she acted that night,” he finished
quickly. “Been meaning to make her apologize,
but . . .” He sighed. “We’ve been dealing with so
much shit lately—”
“No need to apologize. Doesn’t really matter
much now anyway, does it?” she said lightly, man-
aging to sound almost like she meant it. “Actually, I
guess you and your daughter did me a favor that
day. It was the last straw . . . just the last straw. I
mean, I’ve heard all that stuff before . . . but to hear
it from a sixteen-year-old girl . . .” She shook her
head. “It helped me to decide to send in my audition
tape. And now look what’s happened . . .”
“What stuff?” Bradshaw stared at her, puzzlement
creasing his face. “Audition tape? What did Penny
say?”
Audra quirked an eyebrow at him.
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“She didn’t—didn’t you just say you wanted her
to apologize—?” she began.
“I heard her being rude,” he said slowly, frown-
ing at her inquisitively. “Was there something
else?”
Audra opened her mouth to explain, then closed
it. There was no reason to get the girl in trouble with
her father for telling the truth—a truth that had
sparked so much change in Audra’s life. Instead, she
smiled at him and said, “No, of course not. You
haven’t heard my news? You must be the only one in
the whole prison—”
“I had a—a family emergency.” Bradshaw’s brow
curled into a frown of concern. “Had to take a few
weeks off to try and deal with it. Just got back today.”
“Emergency?” Audra sobered immediately, drop-
ping the aggrieved routine to stare up at him in con-
cern. “What’s happened? Nothing with Penny, I
hope?”
Bradshaw shook his head. “Not Penny. Her
mother. “
Audra blinked at him in surprise. “Her mother?
She showed up?”
“Showed up?” The frown deepened. “No, she’s al-
ways been around.”
“But I thought it was just the two of you. You and
Penny.”
“It is, for all practical purposes,” he muttered,
sounding bitter and defeated. “We’ve been di-
vorced for years. I take care of Penny. But she’s
around . . . when she wants to be. Like the birthday
party.”
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Karyn Langhorne
“She was at the party?” Audra said in surprise.
“Penny’s sweet sixteen?”
Bradshaw’s face scrunched together like Audra
had said something ridiculous. “Course she was.
You met her! Remember?”
“I didn’t meet anyone but Penny and that Esmer-
alda woman—”
The instant the words left her mouth, she realized
who he was talking about, understood the depth of
her mistake. Esmeralda Prince wasn’t just his fabu-
lously gorgeous date for the evening. She was much,
much more. The room suddenly felt stuffy and Au-
dra had to tell herself to breathe slow and deep to
keep her lightheadedness at bay, while her memo-
ries of the party played in her mind. Esmeralda
Prince was Penny’s mother? she thought, with a sud-
den desperate wave of pity for the girl. No wonder
she’s got issues . . .
“Oh my God . . .” Audra murmured, covering her
open mouth with her hands. “And here I was, think-
ing Esmeralda Prince was your girlfriend . . .”
“Prince is her maiden name. She took it back
when we split up.” Bradshaw peered at Audra as
though her thoughts were written on her face for
him to read. “When Penny was two. She’s been in
and out of our lives ever since . . .” He winced as
though the words caused him pain. “And now she’s
gone.”
“Gone?” Audra repeated.
Bradshaw nodded. “Again. And this time, I don’t
think I can let her come back.”
Audra stared at him, waiting for the rest, but he
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folded his lips tight and stared at something just
over her shoulder like his life depended on main-
taining his focus. Finally, Audra snapped her fin-
gers beneath his nose, recalling him brusquely to
the present. “Down here, Bradshaw!” she snapped
at him, annoyed by his inattentiveness. Apparently
a girl had to be Esmeralda Prince to get—and
keep—his attention. “Can I get the rest of the story
please?”
“You don’t know the rest of story?” he snapped,
frustration rising in his tone. “You can’t tell by look-
ing at her what a sap I’ve been?”
Audra almost shot back something about how
thinking with his “little head” had obviously gotten
him into a world of trouble, but before she could of-
fer that unhelpful comment, Bradshaw continued
with, “Well look at her! Can’t you tell by how she
looks? How thin she is?”
/>
“You like light-skinned, skinny women who wear
great clothes.” Audra lifted a shoulder like it wasn’t
the tiniest skin off her nose. “If that were a crime,
most of the men in America would be guilty. That’s
one of the reasons I’m doing what I’m doing—”
“Esmeralda’s got a drug problem, Audra,” Brad-
shaw murmured. “A bad one.”
Audra blinked at him. “A drug problem? She
can’t have a drug problem! She’s too gorgeous to
have a drug problem.”
“Gorgeous,” Bradshaw rolled his eyes, his lips
hard with suppressed fury. “I used to think so. She
used to be beautiful.” He paused, remembering.
“Curvaceous figure . . . womanly . . .” He shook the
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Karyn Langhorne
image away. “But is it gorgeous to steal your daugh-
ter’s presents and run out on her on her birthday?”
he asked, and seeing the shock on Audra’s face, he
added, “Yeah, it’s true. She stole all Penny’s gifts,
most of the money in Penny’s bank account and dis-
appeared. We haven’t seen her since.”
“Said she was clean.” Bradshaw pulled a photo-
graph from his wallet and flipped it toward her from
his seat across from her in a bustling diner not far
from the prison’s entrance. The sun was rising over
Manhattan, but his handsome faced was etched
with a pain so deep Audra had to turn her head to
stop herself from reaching out and grabbing his
hand, or stroking his face—anything to reassure
him that it would be all right.
But instead, from their booth near the window,
Audra pulled the photo toward her across the table
and glanced down at it.
It was much-fingered, dog-eared, clearly carried
and treasured for many years. In it, Audra recog-
nized Bradshaw, Penny and Esmeralda all looking
impossibly young. Audra knew the crisp uniform
Bradshaw wore as the dress blues of the Marine
Corps, and his face blinked out of the photograph
with an almost adolescent innocence. Penny was a
happy toddler on his lap, grinning wide, showing a
mouthful of baby teeth.
But it was Esmeralda who captured Audra’s atten-
tion. She still had the fair skin and that long russet
hair curling against her shoulders, but her face and
arms were rounded with soft, voluptuous flesh.
From her pose behind her husband and their daugh-
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155
ter, Audra could make out the curves of fleshy hips.
At the very least, she was pleasantly plump. Some
might even have called her fat. Indeed, the Esmer-
alda of this picture was certainly as heavy as Audra
herself was right now. Audra glanced from the
photo to the man before her, a sudden feeling of
hopefulness combined with uneasiness settling in
her stomach.
“Nice,” she murmured sliding the photo back to
Bradshaw, who returned it lovingly to his wallet.
“She said she’d been clean for a year,” Bradshaw
continued in his thrilling low baritone. “Wanted to
apologize to Penny and me for . . . leaving us. Ap-
parently she got a job here in the city—typing for
some law firm . . .” He sighed. “But she didn’t have
a place to stay.”
“And you let her move in with you,” Audra fin-
ished.
“She’s Penny’s mother, for Christ’s sake!” Brad-
shaw exploded, slamming his fist against the table
so that their coffee cups jumped in their saucers.
“She seemed better! What was I supposed to do?”
“I’m not judging you, Bradshaw,” Audra said as
gently as possible. “I’m just trying to understand
what happened.”
The man took a big gulp of air and offered a
pained smile to her shoulder. Audra was turning her
head toward it when she remembered: Except on
rare occasions, Bradshaw seemed to prefer her
shoulder to her face. After the picture, it was a sharp
reminder: Even if Bradshaw didn’t mind a woman
with a few extra pounds, Audra was still no Esmer-
alda Prince . . . at least, not yet.
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Karyn Langhorne
“Sorry,” he muttered, and Audra focused her at-
tention on the man again. “I’m furious with myself.
And her. Penny was already all confused and
crazy—”
“How is she? Penny?”
“Miserable. Says she hates Esmeralda, but . . .” His
handsome head wagged from side to side. “Truth is
she wants to be just like her and can’t figure out why
Esmeralda treats her the way she does.” His eyes
found Audra’s again. “I took a few days off, let her
skip a few days of school. Took a little road trip. Out
to the Poconos. To clear our heads.”
“Did it help, you think?” Audra asked, feeling a
strange empathy replace her annoyance with the
girl. “She was already dealing with a lot of stuff—a
new school, being sixteen and tall—she needed this
like a hole in the head.”
“You’re right about that,” Bradshaw agreed.
“Don’t really know what to say about any of this
anymore.” His eyes searched hers. “I want to tell her
mother, ‘That’s it. Stay away from her. From us.
We’ve given you enough chances . . . but there’s an-
other part of me”—he shrugged—“believes people
can change. Stupid, huh?”
“Not stupid . . . but
. . . Bradshaw,” she began
slowly, “can I ask you something?”
“Shoot,” he said, focusing his amber-eyed interest
on her.
Audra hesitated, searching for the best way to ask
the questions burning in her heart. “Penny shared
something with me as I was leaving. She thinks you
think she’s . . .” she began hesitantly, “too tall. You
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know . . . ungainly.” She paused. “Ugly.” Her eyes
found his. “Do you?”
Bradshaw was silent for a long moment, his big
fingers curving protectively around the coffee mug.
Audra imagined those fingers, cupping his new-
born daughter . . . and then imagined the feel of
them stroking her own skin.
“I think she’s beautiful,” he said bluntly, and Au-
dra read emotion in his eyes. “Just beautiful.” He
frowned. “She knows that. Did I say something?
Something she misunderstood?”
“I’m sure it was something like that,” Audra said
quickly, pretending ignorance. “What about Esmer-
alda?”
“What about her?” Bradshaw growled.
“Well, as angry as you are with her, you have to
admit you think she’s beautiful. I mean, you were
married to her once.”
“Yeah, I thought she was pretty, once. But
now . . .” He shook his head. “Penny says her
mother is ugly on the inside . . . and she’s rig
ht.” He
locked eyes with Audra. “Why?”
Audra shrugged. “No reason.” Apparently Penny
hadn’t shared anything of her I don’t want to be like
you conversation with her father. With her mother’s
betrayal, Audra suspected the whole incident had
been blown to the furthest corners of her mind.
Somehow knowing that Art had no knowledge of
what had transpired between them and the true rea-
sons for his absence erased the last residue of her
anger toward him. She debated with herself for a
split second, then decided, turning her face up to
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Karyn Langhorne
the man with a broad I’ve-got-a-secret smile. “You’ve
heard my news, right?”
Bradshaw shook his big head and waited.
“You didn’t hear about the television crew that
was here yesterday?”
“Oh yeah,” Bradshaw nodded. “One of the female
officers is going to be on some reality show, right?”
Audra let her grin widen across her face until real-
ization dawned in Bradshaw’s eyes.
“You?” The big man sounded awed, impressed.
“What for?”
“I’ve been selected for one of those makeover
shows,” Audra said proudly. “It’s called the Ugly
Duckling and basically they take ugly women, do a
lot of plastic surgery and—and—other stuff and
change them into beautiful ones who compete for a
grand prize. I’m leaving in a few weeks. Off to Cali-
fornia, where I’ll be transformed into a swan. Isn’t
that a kick?” she said impishly. “Me, a beauty queen.
Can you believe it?”
The smile drained bit by bit from Bradshaw’s face.
“Ugly Duckling?” he said, his brow creasing with
confusion. “Transformed? You? Why? You’re beauti-
ful the way you are—” He stopped, chewing on his
lips like he’d revealed a deep secret.
Audra’s mouth dropped open in surprise. Beauti-
ful . . . Had she actually heard that word fall from the
man’s lips . . . with herself as its intended subject?
“But I thought . . . didn’t you want me to talk to
Penny because . . . I mean . . .” Audra tripped over
the words, trying to find her way through her con-
flicting understandings. “I always thought you
thought I was ugly.”
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“Never said any such thing,” Art bristled. “And
as for Penny, why wouldn’t I want her to know a
woman who carries herself with grace and humor?
And that’s what makes you—or any woman for that
Diary of an Ugly Duckling Page 15