by Matson, TC
“Ah, I see,” he says then takes a sip of his coffee. “And you’re mad at yourself because you got sucked into it?”
I shrug. “Yeah, something like that.”
He leans back in his chair and studies me for a second. “So what do you have planned for the day?”
And just like that, he steals my heart away, invariably knowing the right time to change the subject.
“I don’t know. Figured I’d hang out with my old man some,” I snicker.
“I’ve missed you, baby girl,” he says grabbing the newspaper from the table.
Just then my phone vibrates against the wooden table and Levi’s name pops up. One swipe of the finger and I send him to voicemail. I’m not ready to talk to him yet. I’m still too mad, too hurt, and admittedly, too brokenhearted.
Dad folds the corner of the paper down and nods toward the phone. “That him?”
“Yeah.”
“Does he know where you are?”
“No and I’m sure Blain won’t tell him,” I answer.
“Don’t leave him hanging for too long. I didn’t raise you to be insensitive.” Then the corner of the paper pops back up and I’m unable to see his face.
I grab my coffee and continue to sip on it, staring at the black printed letters but not paying attention to what they say. My poor brain needs a break, my heart needs some time, and my feelings need to gather themselves back up before I can talk to him.
Chapter 31
Paige: I’m not sure you can make things right when you get back.
I’m irritable as hell staring at my phone. I didn’t sleep for shit last night after Allison pulled that fucking appalling stunt and now I’m fixated on a text message proving to me Paige saw what I was petrified for her to see. Yes, I said petrified. You heard me correctly. People make promises every day and break them, and I sure as hell don’t want to be that guy to Paige. I didn’t want to hurt her, but now I know that vindictive ass bitch did.
I texted her several times last night hoping she’d be awake. I wanted to be the one to tell her, to explain I had nothing to do with it. That shit was just as much of a surprise to me. Faking a smile for the rest of the night was the hardest thing I’ve had to do in my life. Acting like I was happy and enjoying myself when the only thing on my mind was getting ahold of Paige.
Fuck!
I’ve just finished brushing my teeth when there’s a knock on the door. I rip it open greeted by Adam holding a cup of coffee and a fucking toothy smile with Allison behind him.
“Figured we would wait here until our ride arrives to take us back to the airport,” he says stepping in with her in tow.
“Neither of you were invited,” I snap.
Adam ignores me and continues into the living room setting the coffee on the table, but Allison whirls around and wraps her arms around my neck. “Mmm…someone is grumpy. Would you like for me to brighten your day?”
I pull her arms off me. “You wish,” I sneer.
“You damn right I do,” she squeals challenging me with a smirk. “I could have taken care of you all night but you pussied out on me. You know I can fix you. Let me take care of that tension for you.”
I shake my head and walk away. “You’re fucking pathetic.”
I take the quickest shower I’ve ever taken, desperately trying to figure out how I can explain this shit to Paige without causing more damage. Every thought I have doesn’t sound good and I’m sure “it’s not what it looked like” isn’t going to work. Still dripping wet with a towel around my waist, I try calling her, but to no avail. She keeps sending me to voicemail.
I break and do the only other thing I know.
“Hello?” Blain answers with hesitation.
“Is Paige ok? I’ve tried calling her, but—”
“What the fuck, dude? What the hell were you thinking?”
“Right now I’m hunting my girl. She’s not answering. Is she ok?” I repeat.
“She left this morning.”
My heart just stopped. “Do what? Where the fuck did she go?”
“If she wants you to know, she’ll tell you. It’s not my place. Just know she’s safe.”
“Blain,” I growl. “Where the fuck is she?”
He hangs up.
Red envelops my world. My heart bursts through my ribs and pounds in my ears. Rage fuels adrenaline. I slam my legs into my shorts and sprint out of the bedroom, homed on the malicious monster in disguise, stalking to Allison.
“You!” I point. “If you know what’s best, you’ll get the fuck out of my room and find another damn way back to your lair,” I bark.
The bitch smirks. “Awww. What’s wrong? Paige not happy about something?”
A sudden explosion of fury invades my muscles and misfires my brain. Grabbing the recliner, I toss it with ease across the room. Adam grabs me by the shoulders, pulling me back as I reach for the table.
“Man, chill out!” he yells but it’s muffled as I push him back to the couch beside a wide-eyed Allison.
“Get the fuck out!” I bellow, stomping back to the bedroom.
I’m pacing the floors, panic-stricken that Paige may have just walked out on me. I bounce on my toes, heaving a left jab, right hook…fuck I need the gym. I need the bag. I need a sparring partner. I need to pummel the shit out of someone. For now, this will have to do. Running through maneuvers, shadow boxing myself in the mirror, I slowly bring my blood pressure back down and hatch a plan.
I sling open the door. I’m calm…for now.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” I snap at Allison pulling her up from the couch. “Why didn’t you tell me how you felt?” I elaborate.
Do you see my plan yet? No? Just hold on, it will all come together.
She blinks a few times baffled by my question. “You said you loved her.”
I back her against the wall and press into her. “Ally…” I exhale. “I never said I loved her. You assumed it.”
“You…you seemed—”
“Distracted? Yes,” I interrupt her stutter, hiking up her skirt. Although she’s a freak, she’s never been thrilled for someone to watch, and with Adam in the room, I know she’s uncomfortable as hell.
And quit fussing at me and give me a damn minute. Trust my plan.
I drag my hand over her hips and up her ribs, ensuring I skip every sensitive part to drive her insane. I grab her chin and push it toward the ceiling and drag my lips down her neck. She’s always liked it rough.
“Tell me, Ally,” I breathe heavily against her skin. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
She swallows hard. “When I saw the cameras on us, I went for it. I miss you, Levi,” she pants. “You wouldn’t give me a chance to show you I’ve changed. I want you. I can be whatever you want and now she’s not around for me to compete with.”
Annnd, baited, hooked, caught. See, I told you she was a vindictive bitch. Instead of telling me how she felt and being rejected like a normal person, she goes about it like a trifling ass little…
I squeeze her hip, pulling her into me, and brush my lips against her ear. “You know…” I whisper and she shivers. “I knew the moment I saw you,” I press my limp dick against her, “you were up to no fucking good. You were just a piece of ass and never a thought more. I left you alone for a reason.” She gasps and yanks her head back toward me, her eyes wide. “I hope you got your panties soaked with that kiss last night ‘cause you will never feel my lips again. You will never be this close to me ever again,” I growl pushing off the wall.
She clears her throat, undoubtedly choked up on the simplicity of her own stupidity. I pitch a devilish smile her way then turn headed back to my room. “She’s all yours,” I tell Adam. “She’ll take it any way you give it.”
My plan worked and if you need clarification to what exactly it was, let me help you out. I didn’t know Allison wanted more than sex. The years we’ve known each other have been strictly a sexual relationship. None of the mushy crap that comes along with a s
erious partnership, but with the shit she pulled last night, I knew something else was up. I just confirmed how ruthless she is and exactly why I could never see past what we were. She’s merciless all the way to her core.
Levi: It seems I have some explaining to do. Paige, don’t switch me off. Please call me.
For the first time I can recall, my heart hurts. I don’t know where I stand with Paige. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to talk to her again. She’s shut me out and put the very walls I took a sledgehammer to back up. My past has come back to haunt my future. If I have to drag Allison to Paige to fix this, mark my words, I will.
Chapter 32
Sludge. That’s what Dad calls the gravy sliding down his chin. I’ve not laughed this hard with him in years. Not since Mom died. I’m doubled over with tears rolling down my cheeks, stuck in that moment when you’re scared because you desperately need to take a breath but your laughter has you unable to take one.
His fork pulled a magic trick and moved as he was saying something. It dropped everything from it to his chin. I can’t remember what we were even talking about, but once it all fell he cussed then went wide-eyed. Daddy hasn’t ever been much of a cusser, and his reaction was hilarious. It was perfect timing and just what I needed.
His eyes have sparkled since I got here yesterday and I swear I saw the man skipping down the hall this morning. He loves the fact he’s finally cooking for someone else. He told me this morning he thought he’d almost forgotten how, but I beg to differ. This homemade sausage gravy and homemade biscuits would make any grandmother beam with pride. They’re yummy!
We look like a television family—him over there reading the newspaper, and me, well, I’m digging straight into the sludge.
“I miss Mom.” The words catch me off guard as they slip from my tongue.
Dad looks up pleased. “So do I. I’m sure she’s so proud of us.”
I smile at the thought. Mom died of breast cancer when I was ten. When they found it, there wasn’t much they could do. It spread fast and unfortunately she couldn’t beat it. Those were the times Blain’s friendship was very powerful. We stuck together and helped each other stay afloat when the pain was too much. Blain loved my mom just as he did his own mother, and he promised to always protect me and take care of me…hence why he’s my overprotective brother now. He’s my family.
The early morning birds chirp an enchanting melody as Dad and I fall into a silence until there’s a knock at the door. My eyes jolt to Dad, frozen from panic that Levi could be standing on the other side of that door. Surely Blain didn’t give it away.
Dad stands and clears his throat giving me a very stern look. “You,” he points, “be nice.”
Confused, I sit back in my chair, watching him disappear down the hallway. I turned my phone off yesterday. Maybe Blain got upset and told Levi where I was? No…he knows Dad’s number. What if Levi paid a private investigator to find me? My mind is rushing to accusations shifting in every direction.
“Hello, Mr. Madison,” a familiar deep voice bounces off the walls and straight against my chest.
What the hell?
“Wesley,” Dad answers him. “Today isn’t a good day. Maybe next week.”
“I know she’s here. Is she ok?” The concern in Wesley’s voice puzzles the hell out of me.
Daddy sighs and the distinguishing squeak of the front door gives way to Wesley. “She’s in the kitchen,” he says.
I hear the two men start down the small hallway, and scrambling I grab Dad’s newspaper pretending to read it.
“Good morning, Paige,” Wesley says as he enters the kitchen dressed in grey t-shirt, faded jeans and sneakers. His brown eyes are glinting, and his smile is up to no damn good.
“Good morning, Wesley.” I look up over the paper.
“Brings back memories, huh?” he states sitting in the chair beside me.
“No. Not for me. Does it you? Tell me, what memories?” I smart off.
“Paige,” Dad chastises me.
I tighten my lips. “What are you doing here?” I try being nice and moving the conversation to please Dad.
“I usually stop in once a week to see your dad,” Wesley says.
My brows furrow and I glance to Dad. “Do what?”
“You can explain all that later,” he tells Wesley. “For now, would you like coffee?” he asks already heading toward the mugs.
“No, sir,” Wesley answers presenting a good-for-nothing smile at me. “Paige, would you like to go do something today?”
I snort, trying not to spit my coffee out. “Um, not only is that a no, it’s a hell no.”
“Paige…” Dad warns again.
I clear my throat slightly embarrassed he’s scolding me in front of him.
“Paige, you have been here for two days and haven’t gotten any fresh air. Get out for a bit,” Dad says patting me on the shoulder.
“But, I—”
“No buts, Paige. Go for a little bit. It might do you some good,” Dad interrupts me.
We exchange a solid stare for several seconds. I’m silently pleading and he’s not budging. Quickly I realize I won’t be winning this war, and I sigh pushing away from the table. “Fine. Let me get ready,” I say storming to my room like I’m a child again. I’m not happy about this. Not one damn bit.
It’s been a trip down memory lane as I spend the day with Wesley. We ate at the old pizza place down the street from our old high school, the one everyone used to hang out at after school. We visited old neighborhoods, passing by homes of old friends, and exchanging information on who we’ve kept up with and who we haven’t.
After some fun memories and talking about nothing important, we pull into the old fairgrounds where we used to all hang out. Just five years ago this place held rodeos, festivals and fairs. I can still vividly remember the burnt orange glow of the old Ferris wheel that used to sit at the backside. But now it’s nothing but a deserted weed field, left abandoned by the bankrupt owners and forgotten about by the people who drive past it daily. It transitioned from the town’s present to part of its distant history in a short time.
Slowly walking through, we find an old neglected bench and sit quietly listening to the wind rustle through the trees, a ghostly reminder of what this place used to hold.
“Remember when Amber got caught by her parents sneaking into that weird concert?” Wesley chuckles breaking the uncomfortable silence.
“I thought we all were going to be dead that night. Geez, her dad was so pissed,” I laugh. But then once again, all falls silent except for the screams of my wandering mind. Questions, speculations, and pain that have bubbled for years finally make me brave enough to turn and ask the one question that has burdened me. “Why, Wesley? Why would you do such a thing to me? More importantly, why are you back now?”
Surprised he leans back and tucks his hand into his pocket. “Well, I’ve been coming to see your dad every week for months. I had to clean things up with him and now…well, I’m here,” he spreads his hands out, “with an old friend.”
There’s that up-to-no-good smile again.
“We’re not really friends,” I remind him.
“Maybe you don’t think so, but that’s what I’m working on. I miss the friends we once were,” he admits.
“Reminder, that’s all history. You were the one who messed that up. I don’t really need your friendship.”
“Cherry—”
“No!” I interrupt throwing my finger in his face. “You do not get to call me that!”
“Yes I do. Besides you weren’t complaining back then.”
He’s a bold man with a cocky grin who just struck a nerve.
“Well, that was then and this is now. Things fucking changed,” I snap standing to walk away.
Before I can go anywhere, he grabs my wrist and pulls me back down to the bench. “Cherry, will you listen to me now?” he pleads. “I have no excuse for what I did. I was young, and she was there. I fucked up. I knew it when I
was doing it, and then when I saw your face…” he trails off shaking his head. “Look, all I can say now is that I’m sorry. I was so stupid.”
I blink back tears looking up to the purple sky as the sun begins to set. “Yeah, almost four years later.”
“You were done with me. There wasn’t anything I could do or say to change your mind. You made that very clear. Remember, Paige, I know you well.”
“Knew,” I correct him. “You knew me well.”
“We haven’t changed that much. We’ve just grown up. I watched my whole life twist and turn upside down in the wrong damn direction that day. For years it’s haunted me. There were things you didn’t know about.”
“Like the one I walked in on?” I snort.
“You have to believe me. That was a one-time thing. I’ve never spoken to her since,” he says patting my leg with a knowing smile. “Cherry, I loved you more than you could imagine.”
“Yeah. It showed,” I deadpan.
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ring and I gasp sucking in all the air from around us. “This,” he says handing it to me, “was supposed to be yours the next week.” He stifles a laugh. “I had it all planned out. It isn’t much, but I worked my ass off to get it for you. For obvious reasons, you never received it.”
I stare at the silver band with the tiny diamond glinting from the streetlights around us. A laugh rolls out of me from the irony of it all. Back then I would have run away and married him without my dad’s permission. Back then I would have traveled the world and never looked back just to hold his hand, but today…I hold so much animosity toward him for breaking me into pieces. I lost the love that I felt for him, forever evaporated in the night sky when I saw what I saw. But the humor in it all is that here I am holding the very thing I wished he had always given me.