by J. R. Rain
Yes, I think so.
I nodded to myself and sat back and analyzed how I felt about that. Yes, there was some jealousy. I did, after all, have feelings for Fang. There was mostly confusion, though. My feelings for Fang were all over the map. He’d done much to help me in the early days, and, later, to turn my life upside down. His siding with Hanner broke my heart. In the end, he had been compelled to act by a vampire much more powerful than me, and much older, too. Still, Fang had made the decision to go behind my back, to move forward without me. And he was doing just that now, with yet another woman.
Yes, I was jealous, but I also felt something else.
I felt liberated.
Seeing him like this. Or, rather, hearing him describe his current situation was a reminder to me of how far we had fallen, how distant we had become. Did he still love me? I think so. Love doesn’t just go away. Even a small part of me still loved Danny and missed him. A very, very small part of me, granted.
So, Fang wasn’t sure about his feelings with his girlfriend. I’d let him figure that out, in his own way, and in his own time. Truth be known, what I missed most was our sweet connection via the Internet. Via the old-school AOL instant message.
Chatting with him now—even reading words that upset me and concerned me—felt natural. It felt right. It felt like how things should feel. This past year had been one long, crazy-ass ride, and now things were finally, finally as they should be.
I typed: Well, Fang, I hope you can figure out your feelings for her.
I’m in no rush, Sam. She gives my life balance, security. She accepts me for who I am, exactly what I am. She doesn’t judge. She only loves.
And gives you a fresh supply of blood.
Yes, Sam. There is that, too.
We were silent for a long time. His “typing” icon remained silent. Finally, I wrote: You had the diamond medallion all along.
You knew about that?
Yes. It looked different than the others, so I wasn’t sure what it was.
I wasn’t sure what it was either, truth be known.
Where did you get it?
The curiosity museum, he wrote.
Where they displayed your teeth? I wrote, referring to the teeth that now hung around his neck, looking to all the world like miniature elephant tusks. They were teeth that had been extracted from Fang long ago, in an insane asylum. Yeah, Fang was messed up, perhaps more than I might ever really know.
Yes. When I went back for my teeth, after I dispatched the owner, I saw the medallion in his safe.
So, you took it?
Of course.
And had been wearing it ever since.
Yes, Sam.
And you still have it?
No, I’m sorry.
My mouth opened and I think a sound squeaked out.
Fang continued typing: I didn’t know what I had. I didn’t know its value. I just knew it was special.
I nodded suddenly. I wrote: But Hanner knew.
Yes. She knew that wearing it would possibly nullify my vampirism.
And you couldn’t have that, I wrote.
No, Sam.
So, you removed it?
Yes. I had to. It was the price I had to pay for her to change me. I gave it to her happily.
I nearly called him an idiot. Instead, I took a few deep breaths and sat back...and that was when it hit me.
She’s still alive, isn’t she?
Maybe. If she figured out how to unlock it. She was having trouble with that part.
But I saw the demon escape her when she died. The diamond medallion removes the demon.
Maybe she struck a deal with the demon within.
To keep it inside?
Yes.
Did you see her use the medallion?
I saw her try.
And then?
And then I was compelled to do what I was told, and I lost all track of the medallion.
I drummed my pointed nails on the keyboard, thinking hard. We had left Hanner down in the cavern, under the Los Angeles River, with the silver dagger still in her. Seemed safest to leave it in her. Yes, she had seemed dead. Very, very dead. But who knew?
You never went back for her? I wrote. To revive her or help her?
No, Sam. I’ve thought about it. But no.
But you loved her.
In a way, yes. But I didn’t love what she did to you and your family. That was a deal breaker for me.
I thought about that long after Fang and I said our goodbyes.
Then grabbed my car keys and hit the road.
Chapter Thirty-three
“Never thought I would come back here,” said Kingsley.
“That makes two of us,” I said.
“Three of us,” said Allison.
“Well, I didn’t invite either of you,” I said.
Allison snorted. “Like we would let you come here alone, Sam!”
“Like totally,” said Kingsley.
“Oh, brother,” I said.
We were standing outside the familiar pile of rocks that led to the secret cavern entrance under the L.A. River. It was also the middle of the night, a good time for a vampire, a witch and a werewolf to go grave-robbing. Anyway, from all indications, the rocks hadn’t been touched or moved since we had been here last, three months ago.
Now, with a cool wind blowing and the sounds of smaller animals moving in the thick underbrush nearby, Allison’s words appeared in my mind: Are we sure we want to do this, Sam?
I caught the image in her mind...and it was of Danny’s grave, which I had helped dig with my own hands, also located here in this strangest of tombs, in the woods not far from downtown Los Angeles, along the east side of Griffith Park. If anything, we were closest to the L.A. Zoo, which just so happened to be the setting to a zombie series Tammy was reading, written by a guy who wrote his own vampire series starring an undead mama not too dissimilar from me. Maybe I should sue the bastard.
Or feast on him.
Anyway, L.A. wasn’t all stars, glitz and freeways. This park was proof. It was a park that housed not only the zoo, but the Griffith Park Observatory, the Hollywood Sign, and the Greek Theater. Most of which had found their ways into the movies. No surprise there, since they were just a hop, skip and a jump from Hollywood.
“I’m fine,” I said aloud. “Really.”
Kingsley snapped his big head around in my direction. “What? Never mind. You two are doing your telepathy thing again.”
“You can’t read minds?”
“No, Sam. At least, I don’t think so.”
“If you want,” said Allison, “you can practice with me. I’m really, really good at mind reading.”
Kingsley raised his eyebrows. “Er, thanks, Allie. I’ll keep that in mind.”
It was no secret that my new best friend had the hots for my old boyfriend. What my new best friend didn’t know—and I’d been doing my damned best to shield these thoughts from her—was that I had been thinking a lot about Kingsley these days.
Perhaps too much.
Definitely more than I should have.
Allison had every right to flirt with Kingsley, although I had made it known that it was technically still weird for me. Still, she had been polite about it, never too overt, and so far, Kingsley hadn’t seemed very interested.
I suspected I knew why.
He’s still in love with me, I thought, making sure my mind was sealed nice and tight. I had no reason to keep these thoughts from Allison, other than I just wanted to analyze them without prejudice or judgment or outside interference. Mostly, I wanted to understand them...and be sure of how I felt.
I looked again at the hulking man standing beside me. He had one giant boot up on a boulder. The boot wasn’t a cowboy boot. It looked Italian, and expensive. It also looked good on him. He was waiting for me. They both were.
Now, of course, was not the time to analyze my feelings about Kingsley.
I nodded. “Let’s do this.”
&nbs
p; Kingsley grinned, reached down with one hand, and ripped free a boulder that was much heavier than he made it look. It crashed to the ground below, making an ungodly loud thud.
He pulled free another, then another, removing them with frightening ease and speed. I almost jumped in to help, but Kingsley needed no help.
In a matter of minutes, there appeared a dark hole.
“Ladies first,” he said, and stepped aside.
“Gee, thanks,” I said, and led the way down.
Chapter Thirty-four
The tunnel was longer than I remembered it.
I didn’t need light, nor did Kingsley, but Allison wasn’t so lucky. She was also more than capable of creating her own light, which she did by creating a liquid ball of glowing plasma between her palms. At least, that was what it looked like to my eyes. I watched it grow bigger and bigger, marveling at my friend’s newfound witchy talents. Then she released it into the air above us, and it followed ahead of us, a hovering, glowing, seemingly sentient ball of weirdness.
Although not necessary, the light was welcoming. As we walked, I used a trick of my own, and focused my inner eye on our immediate surroundings; in particular, what was waiting ahead of us.
It wasn’t much, and the macabre scene was exactly as we’d left it.
“It seems we’re alone in here,” said Kingsley, and I wondered if he had somehow known I had just mentally scouted ahead.
I nodded. “From what I can see, yes.”
He pointed to his ears. “From what I can hear, too.”
Ah, yes. Kingsley, of course, had a skill set of his own.
Shortly, we stepped into the first of two massive, underground caverns.
* * *
That such a rock formation existed under L.A. was enough for me to question my sanity all over again.
But here it was.
As we stood in it, the memories began flooding back. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one. We had all had a traumatic experience in here a few months ago, from my ex-husband Danny being stabbed, to Kingsley in the fight of his life, to Allison keeping two crossbow-wielding guards at bay using more of her considerable magic.
Three freaks, I thought, and strode out into the center of the first of the two caverns.
There, in the far corner, was a pile of withering bones poking through darker robes and nicer shoes. That his head was nowhere near his body was a testament to Kingsley’s ferocity.
The death of that vampire had freed Fang from his own compulsion. Fang had immediately acted to stop Hanner, by plunging a silver dagger deep into her heart.
Except, of course, I hadn’t been aware that she was wearing the diamond medallion at the time.
“So, what does that mean, exactly?” asked Allison, mostly following my train of thoughts.
“Means she might be alive.”
“Alive how?”
“I don’t know.”
“It’s always fun,” said Kingsley, striding into the next room, “to catch only half of your conversations.”
I didn’t immediately follow him through stone archway and into the second cavern; instead, I paused and took a deep breath and prepared myself for what I expected to see.
After all, it was within this second cavern that we had buried my ex-husband, Danny.
After I took a moment, Allison and I entered the second cavern, and I immediately saw the reason why I hadn’t seen Danny’s spirit since his death. There he was, sitting next to his grave, legs crossed and looking miserable, haunting the crap out of this place. He drifted slightly, bobbing and rising, as if he were sitting on an inner tube in the shallow end of a dark pool.
He looked up as I entered.
Chapter Thirty-five
Danny is a recent spirit.
He’d been killed only months earlier, which meant I could still see a lot of his detail, even though his “light body” was composed of tens of thousands, if not millions, of tiny light particles.
“Guys, give me a minute,” I said.
Kingsley looked toward the dirt pile where my ex-husband’s corpse was still rotting away. He nodded, understanding. Whether or not he knew that I saw Danny’s spirit, I didn’t know, but he understood enough and said, “I’ll go check on our friend Hanner.”
Allison gave me an encouraging smile. She, too, could sometimes see into the spirit world, and I knew she, too, sensed Danny’s presence. Good luck, Sam, she thought to me.
Thanks, I responded, and headed over to my dead ex-husband, whose spirit was looking miserable.
* * *
“Hi, Danny,” I said, addressing the spirit.
I sat on a rock very near to where he was standing. He watched me silently, his body forming and reforming, pulsing and shimmering. Truly the body electric.
“Have a seat, Danny,” I said, and patted the rock next to me. “Let’s talk.”
He studied me silently, rising and falling ever so slightly, drifting on currents unseen and unfelt by the living. Or even the non-living. The details of Danny’s energetic body were so sharp that I could still see the mortal wound in his chest where the knife had plunged deep. I could also see the belt loops to his jeans, his shoelaces and the collar of his short. I knew, with time, such details would fade away. But for now, they were clear enough.
Unfortunately, his facial expressions were lost to me, although I could see the general outline of what had been a handsome face. I saw his ears, his mussed hair, his straight jawline. I couldn’t see his eyes, and that saddened me. Danny had beautiful blue eyes.
Unsure of himself—at least, that was the impression I got—he sat next to me. If I were a new ghost, I would sure as hell be unsure of myself, too. As he sat, some of his light fragments scattered towards me like a bag of marbles that had burst. Unlike marbles, these particles of living energy moved over my right arm and around my wrist and fingers and hand before disappearing. I shivered and the goose bumps bumped.
“I should have checked on you sooner, Danny,” I began. “I should have suspected you would still be down here.”
He cocked his head slightly.
“I should have known you would be confused and unable to move on.”
Now he cocked his head to the other side. I had his attention. I wondered how much he was really hearing, and how much he was actually comprehending.
That was when tears came, and they came hard, as I realized again that the man I had planned my future with and built a family with and had wanted to grow old with, had been forgotten in this shitty, desolate hellhole.
“I was taking care of the kids,” I said, doing my best to speak through the tears. “They’ve been so upset.”
I wanted to reach out and take his hand. And just as the thought crossed my mind, Danny did just that: he reached out with his own pulsating, crackling hand...and took my own. And he didn’t stop there, he leaned over and gave me the most electrifying hug I’d ever had.
* * *
This was the first time I had really cried for Danny, and I did it now, in the presence of his confused ghost, at the bottom of a forgotten hole in the ground, in the place of his murder. He continued holding me, and I leaned my head in his direction, although I mostly hit air. Mostly.
“The kids miss you, but they are okay. They are both healing, but it will take time, maybe forever. I was worried about Anthony, but he has found...a new friend.”
I purposely didn’t mention that this was all because of Danny’s idiocy. His desire to destroy me, in the end, had directly led to his death. He had aligned himself with the wrong people, people who used him.
I glanced over at Kingsley and Allison, who were both standing over another form, a form we had not bothered to bury, a form that, because of the contours of the cavern floor, I couldn’t quite see.
A form who might not be dead, after all.
I knew Danny was sorry. I also knew that he was doing something that he had never done while living...sensing my thoughts. It took him dying before the idiot and I finally
became truly connected.
“You’re sorry,” I said. “I know. I can feel it.”
He nodded once, although the gesture seemed strange to him. He tried it again, liked it, and then nodded again and again.
“Okay, goofball. So you can nod. Big deal.”
I might have seen the corners of his mouth rise slightly. Back in the day, before his fear of me and his love for other women, Danny had had a nice sense of humor. It was why I had married him. That, and I wanted his last name.
Now, Danny threw his head back and I saw his shoulders shake. He was laughing, and a scattered remnant of his thought appeared in my thoughts: he’d always suspected that was why I had married him.
I laughed, too, and when we were both done and had settled down, I next felt Danny’s sadness.
“You miss them,” I said.
He nodded his head again, and I saw something next that I didn’t think I would ever soon forget: a shiny, fiery tear appeared in the corner of Danny’s right eye. It slid down his face, leaving behind a blazing trail of quicksilver. The tear dropped free, and, while falling, exploded into a thousand tiny fragments of light.
“You can visit them, you know,” I said. “But you can’t visit them if you’re stuck in here.”
He cocked his head again, his way of telling me he was listening. Danny, who had always been the practical, skeptical lawyer, had found himself ill-equipped in the bewildering world of spirits.
“There’s a tunnel, Danny. A tunnel of light. I know you’ve seen it. It will show itself every now and then. Do not be afraid of it. Go to it. Others will be waiting for you. Others you have loved, grandparents, friends, relatives. They will guide you, Danny. Go to them. Go to the light.”
He looked down, and I sensed his fear.
“Do not fear it, Danny. Go to it. Only then will you be able to leave this place...and see your kids again.”
He turned and stared at me some more, silently, rising and falling in that realm between worlds, layered over this world.
“I have work to do, Danny.”
He nodded and released my hand. But before he did so, he thanked me as best as he could. Through feelings, and a hint of thought.