“Aggie, there wasn’t anyone here when we showed up, dear, just the actress and the maid.”
I stomped my way back to the Caddy and as I whirled back for one last glance, the upstairs window was closed! I gulped. That just couldn’t be! We made our way back into Tawas and the campground. “Are you sure there wasn’t anyone but the widow and the maid when we arrived?”
“I’m sure, why?”
“I could have sworn I saw a group of people standing over the body, and the upstairs window was open then closed when we left.”
“That place is haunted for sure.” El hugged herself.
I’d had told her she was crazy just then, but I knew what I saw. “I’m not a confused senior here.”
“Where did that come from, Aggie?”
Ignoring El’s comment, “We’ll have to head back to that house when the law leaves. I wish we’d had more time before Peterson and company showed up.”
“I see you two still don’t see eye-to-eye.”
“You’d think he would have changed his tune, but it’s the same old song.”
Chapter Five
El and I had a leisurely lunch of turkey on wheat with a generous smidgen of Miracle Whip for flavor. We were sipping our sun tea that took about all the ice I had to make it cold. I had left it outside for an equivalent of three days, so it was a might strong, but I needed the caffeine.
“We really need to get back to the Butler Mansion,” I said. “It really burns me that the sheriff showed up so soon.”
“How are we gonna do that, Aggie? Won’t they have like crime scene tape keeping the place locked up?”
“Not necessarily. I killed a man before remember? They only do that in the movies unless it’s a real bad scene like a serial.”
“That was different, dear, that was a home invasion. It was self-defense.” El said with honesty. “Although I can’t imagine what with a widow and staff that live at the Butler Mansion that they’ll be able to lock the place up.”
“Highly unlikely. So what did you think of the widow in question?”
“Drama queen.”
“Besides that. Do you think she has what it takes to haul a drunk man up to the third floor and shove him out some tiny window?”
“Oh, I’m not sure, Aggie, but she was playing up the accident scenario to the hilt.”
“Right up to the point when she started blaming ghosts.”
El winked. “That sure shot her credibility right out the window.” El sipped more tea before continuing. “Although I do believe she may be right.”
I hastily stood, hands on hips. “And what about I’d like to know.”
“There might really be ghosts haunting the Butler Mansion. It was built in the 1880s.”
“That doesn’t mean anything. You people in this town have gone plain loco. Ghosts and ghost ships my pa-tutee!”
Just then a crowd of seniors scampered through the campground making their way toward the beach. I wouldn’t say they were moving at the fastest gait, many using canes and walkers.
“I sure hope they are not walking toward the light,” I said.
“Me either, that would be half the town I think.”
Walking toward the light was one of those age-related things us seniors think about, but are not ready to do, least of all me.
“We might as well see what all the hoopla is about.”
“You’re right, Aggie. I’d hate to miss out on any fun.”
“Or trouble.”
“You’re hardly one to talk, Aggie. I can recall quite a few instances of Aggie behaving badly.”
I glared at her as we walked. My eyes met those of the new gypsy that rolled into camp today. She had a stance about her that was eerie at best. Just as we passed, she pointed her boney finger my way. “The Devil will see you soon!” She screeched at me. I quickened my pace, and I’m afraid to say, I left Eleanor in my dust.
“Aggie, would you hold up for a minute?”
I waited until she joined me and then I went to babbling. “Did you hear what that gypsy said?”
“She’s just trying to rattle you, dear.”
I was nearly crying by now. “She said ‘the Devil will see me soon’. What do you think she meant?” Stars danced about my head and I felt woozy. El always the consummate friend that she was said, “Maybe you are. I mean you haven’t been to church in quite some time and you were consorting with that lawyer man.”
“What about Mr. Wilson and you?”
“It’s not about me, it’s about you, Aggie. Do you think that ole gypsy has the sight? She could very well see into the future.” Eleanor rubbed her hands together. “Just maybe she can give me some stock tips.”
“Maybe I can just tip you over.”
“See, that’s why you’re gonna meet the Devil before me.” Eleanor was belly laughing now. Her face so red I thought she was having an attack of some sort, until the snorts that is.
I stomped away. “I’d never joke about it if a gypsy put a curse on you.”
“Okay, so you don’t believe in ghosts but you believe in curses and witches?”
“I’m not talking to you right now.”
“What did you do to cause that gypsy to get so peeved at you?”
I whirled around and faced her. “I didn’t do anything. Her Hellhound nearly killed me and you’re making jokes at my expense.”
“Really, Aggie, are you that concerned about that old gypsy?”
“Yes!”
“We’ll just have to figure out a way to get her to leave real quick-like.”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t want any part of this. I have enough problems already.”
“Oh, what now?”
“For one we don’t know for sure we have a case. The maid didn’t exactly hire us. And with my P.I License not exactly active… ”
“So, when has that ever stopped us?”
“A cash flow would be nice you know. We might want to go to Florida this winter.”
“Now you’re talking, toots.”
We continued into the beach area and it was packed. I mean packed with seniors, packing who knows what. They each had a camera in their hands and black ugly sunglasses, the kind that go over your glasses. For the most part seniors are very light-sensitive.
Elsie Bradford was even here. I made my way toward where she was perched on a sturdy wood chair dressed in her usual powder blue pants with matching long sleeve shirt. Her hair styled as per her bi-weekly hair salon appointment. She also happens to be the queen peacock of the social circles here in East Tawas, and quite happy with her status I might add. Seated right next to her, also on wooden chairs were Bill and Marjory Hays, dressed alike in mustard yellow.
“Hello Elsie,” I greeted her. “Fancy meeting you at the beach.”
Her eyes widened. “What with the ghost ship and all, where else would I be?”
I smiled. “What is all this talk of a ghost ship lately?”
“It’s the Erie Board of Trade they say. I haven’t seen it yet, but I’m quite hopeful, quite.”
“Hmm, so who actually did see it?”
“Doubting Thomas are you dear?” Elsie smiled. “Did you hear my sister is in town, gonna stay the summer.”
“No, I hadn’t heard that one,” I said between gritted teeth, shooting Eleanor a look that could kill. “El, dear why didn’t you mention that Elsie’s uhm, sister was here?”
“Well now, if it’s not Agnes Barton and after all these years,” Mildred said. Her wide mouth was twisted into a snarl. Her tight curled hair was gray with a few strands of black intermixed. She wore a purple polyester dress that looked like it was ripped from the sixties.
I turned and ignored her with the best of intentions. I wonder how fast I can run off the sand before Mildred goes into rage mode. I whirled just in time to take an opened palmed slap to my face. I fell to the sand with a thump, spraying sand in my eyes while Eleanor went in motion and tackled Mildred in one swoop.
“Oww… hey…
yowza!” the woman screamed.
“El, get off that battle axe before you hurt yourself.”
“Battle axe,” Elsie exclaimed. “Why I never!”
“I’m sure you have as there was proof in the form of a child.” I kinda wished I’d bitten my tongue off. I hadn’t planned to squabble with Elsie over her sister Mildred Winfree.
Never trust anyone with the name of Mildred. I’ve met more than a few and they’re all bat-shit crazy. Go plain nuts on you if they think you even looked cross-eyed at them. If you talk to their man, they go postal. That pretty much sums up Mildred and me to a tee. I talked to her then husband Charles. Okay so we might have done the nasty, but in my defense I hadn’t known he was married to crazy ole Mildred at the time. When I found out, I was as shocked as her. Now that was twenty years ago, but from the slap she planted on me, obviously she hadn’t forgotten.
Eleanor and Mildred finally parted and both sat on the beach, panting heavily. That’s about how most senior fights go—more than a minute and its time for a nap.
I helped Eleanor up and well out of Mildred’s reach. El had a nasty scratch across her arm and I held my hand over it to staunch the flow of blood.
“I don’t have an issue with you, Elsie, but really you need to get a handle on your sister.”
Mildred jumped at me again, but I moved clear and she fell face first on the beach, taking in enough sand in her mouth to cause her to cough and sputter. I just guided El out of harm’s way, through the campground, and back into her Caddy. I drove toward the hospital.
“I don’t need no dang hospital,” Eleanor sputtered.
She held a hand over her arm that was still bleeding. “Lacerations are nothing to mess with, El, and neither are skin tears.”
“Mildred is such a dirty fighter. Who knew she’d go after you like that, Aggie.”
“I know, she didn’t even give me a chance to react.” I laughed. “It’s been so many years, and just my luck, dementia hasn’t set in.”
“If she has memory loss, I bet it’s just short term.”
I nodded. “It wasn’t really my fault you know… I mean her husband. It was just an accident.”
“Yup, you accidentally fell right on him eh, Aggie?”
“That’s not,” I pulled my shirt from my neck, as it felt tight, “how it happened, exactly.”
I could feel El’s eyes on me. “How exactly did it happen?”
“Oh, El, I don’t want to bore you with the details. Let me just say that Charles was quite the dancer back in the day and danced me right outta my clothes. I had no idea he was married.”
“Or married to bat-crazy Mildred.”
“Nope, and we have been arch-enemies ever since. Not my choice of course. The ball is squarely in her court.”
“What will you do with Mildred in town?”
“I’ll have to be watching my back, for sure.”
I made the turn into the hospital lot and helped El inside. I slapped the bell, Ting! When nobody came I hit it again, maybe a few too many times from the look the rotund blond gave me when she approached the counter. She sat and took El’s insurance cards and driver’s license, scanning them and tapped her fingers on the keyboard with El’s remaining info.
We were instructed to wait in the waiting room, but a friendly face smiled at me. “Grandma.” Sophia hugged me. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, Eleanor has nail marks on her arm. I thought it looked bad enough to warrant a trip here. I’d hate to see the poor dear bleed to death.” I glanced in the waiting room. “It looks like we’ll be waiting quite a while.”
“Maybe not.” Sophia waltzed us through a door that led into the back as protests shot from the waiting room.
As Eleanor sat on the exam table Sophia busied herself in the corner. I hadn’t seen Sophia in a while. She was athletic and ran daily on the shores of Lake Huron with her new-found buddy, Trooper Sales. Her powder-blue nurse scrubs really accentuated her deeply tanned skin. Her dark hair was swept up for work, revealing her heavily-freckled, heart-shaped face. I’d never knew what secrets she hid from me, even when a dark look came across her face she played if off like nothing was bothering her. Far be it for me to pry, she was an adult after all.
Sophia smiled at Eleanor. “Let me see, Eleanor.”
Eleanor held her arm tight to her body and shook her head.
“El, would you quit acting like a child!” I finally shouted.
“I saved your ass, don’t forget.”
Back to the past again. I frowned. “I’m sure not gonna because you’ll be reminding me every chance you get.”
Eleanor stuck her tongue out at me and showed Sophia her scratch.
“Doesn’t look too bad, just a skin tear.”
“I hate skin tears.” She pouted.
Skin tears are part of every senior’s life. Our skin get so thin that the least little thing can rip it apart. Problem is that you can’t get it stitched up because there simply isn’t enough skin.
Sophia busied herself cleaning Eleanor’s wound and wrapped it with gauze, using as little tape as possible. “There you go, good as new. I’d suggest you get some arm protectors, which she preceded to hand to Eleanor, and carefully placed on her arms.
“Ugh, I look like the Mummy!” She held her arms up bobbling across the room toward me.
“It’s not your fault, dear. You just have thin skin.”
“How come you don’t?”
“I sure do, don’t you remember my reactions to the gypsies comments earlier.”
“You were having a melt down.”
“Thanks, Sophia.” I hugged her.
“I don’t suppose you were planning to tell me how you got that bruise on your cheek?”
“What!” I ran to the mirror. “Oh that, well… I… ”
She tapped her foot. “Just like I thought,” she smiled. “You two stay out of trouble,” Sophia said, her knowing stare leading me to believe that she knew she was asking the impossible.
My mouth turned down and I had to ask Sophia, “Have you heard from your mother recently?”
Sophia’s face dropped and she pursed her lips tightly together. An awkward silence followed and I exchanged a soulful glance with her. “Well then… thanks for patching El up.” I turned away and walked back into the waiting room while Eleanor used the restroom. Where is my daughter Martha and why hadn’t she contacted Sophia at least? I could fathom the idea that she was mad at me, but her own daughter… It just didn’t make any sense.
Chapter Six
We left the emergency room as the clouds were rolling in from Lake Huron. I sure hoped a storm wasn’t coming with it. The last one had rattled my nerves something fierce and my poor cat Duchess was shaking so bad it gave me pause to worry. Didn’t animals sense impending doom?
As we hopped back in the Caddy, I drove towards town. The streets were crowded with tourists and I had to keep my eyes peeled to the road. Tourists had the habit of jumping off the curb and crossing busy US 23 without warning.
“Can we roll by the bank, I need to make a withdrawal,” El asked. “I have my eye on a new pink ensemble at Clean Sweep.”
“Clean what? Huh?”
“It’s a new salon the sells the most amazing apparel.”
“Do they have a massage parlor in the back?” I laughed. The last time El suggested a store it sold adult products.
She waved to the bikini-clad tourists that danced past us at the red light. “No, but you’ll see soon enough.”
“The anticipation is killing me.”
“I’m not sure if you noticed, but kill isn’t a word either of us should be using.”
I raised a brow, “True, but with you there is no telling what kind of place it really is.”
“Well, I don’t care how you just said that, Aggie.” She chuckled. “Plus, what the owners do on their free time is none of my concern.”
I rolled my eyes as I turned into the bank parking lot. From the crowd it must be pay
day like everywhere today. “I hope they didn’t misplace your money dear. Are you sure you have—”
“They better have my money or we’ll be doing a bank job.”
“You shouldn’t say things like that out loud,” I said as we strolled through the parking lot. “That might just be grounds for arrest.”
“Oh phewie, folks are way too sensitive these days.”
“They kinda have to these days, old girl. We live in some troubled times.”
Just as we entered, Eleanor was yanked to the right by a man wearing a ski mask. “Everybody on the floor or Grandma gets it!”
I froze momentarily and dropped to the floor, right next to Dorothy Alton, Eleanor’s rival.
“We don’t care if you kill grandma… I mean the one you are holding there,” Dorothy said. Her eyes widened when I glared at her.
“Let’s just take it easy fella, no sense in getting yourself in an uproar,” I said. “Plus, plenty of us grannies in this bank.” I sneered at Dorothy.
The bank robber started dancing about real nervous-like. “Get on the floor, Grandma,” he said to Eleanor who dropped, rolled and laid stomach first on the floor… her legs and arms spread out.
This is the last thing I had expected, Eleanor spread eagle at the bank. She still clutched her pink purse like it was a life-preserver.
Mr. Ski Mask hastily glanced outside and while he was turned… Eleanor jumped to her feet, pink revolver in hand, “Freeze, sucker!”
He reacted by pointing his gun straight at Eleanor. It was the shakiest gun in Michigan as both El and the gunman stood there in a face-off of fire-power.
“Drop the gun, Granny. I don’t want to shoot you!”
“You drop the gun!” El shouted.
“Seriously, I will shoot you!”
“Why don’t you get a job and quit terrifying these kind folks,” I said. I gulped as he turned toward me. “You’re gonna get it first, Grandma.” His finger squeezed the trigger and I shook, made my peace with God and was ready to meet my maker until—
Eleanor swung her purse and hit the gunman squarely in the head; his gun slipped from his hand and went off with a resounding boom that luckily only hit the ceiling fan above his head.
“Boom… pow… ouch!” Was all any of us heard as the gunman was pinned beneath the bronze ceiling fan that was quite sizable. God love a banker with a tight budget.
Madison Johns - Agnes Barton 02 - Grannies, Guns and Ghosts Page 3