by Jillian Hart
She knew that not all families were like hers had been. It was reaffirming to see it.
“Alexandra!” Hailey skipped into sight, sandwiched between best friends Stephanie and Christa. “Can you take us for ice cream. Please? Please?”
“Yeah, please?” the girls echoed, all giving the best impressions of Bambi eyes Alexandra had ever seen.
“Ice cream is never a good idea. I highly disapprove.” Alexandra winked, rising from the bench, and Hailey laughed, lunging against her waist, holding her hard in a sweet hug.
“I think you oughta get extra chocolate on your cone,” Hailey told her. “’Cuz you’re the bestest of them all.”
“That’s because I have a weakness for ice cream. Lucky for you.” She pulled her keys from her shorts pocket. “C’mon, girls. It’s my treat.”
The three little girls shouted their approval, dashing through the crowd toward the faded yellow old Bug. They climbed in, debating who was going to sit in the back, then who was going to sit in the front, their cheer contagious.
“Hello, Alexandra,” greeted a woman passing by, whom Alexandra recognized from the coffee shop.
“Hi, Helen.” Surprised, she returned the older woman’s smile as they went their separate ways.
It was unbelievable. Was she really starting to belong? It was a wonderful feeling.
“Hey, there, pretty lady.”
She’d know that rich, chocolate-smooth voice anywhere. John. She turned around, trying so hard to hold on to her heart. How could she hold back her affection for him? An affection that grew every time she was with him. That doubled with every kind thing he did for her. “Hey, I thought you had a store to run.”
“I left Warren in charge. He’s working full-time for me now that school’s out. I thought I’d sneak out and catch the last of Hailey’s lesson.” He shrugged one broad shoulder in apology. “I’m late.”
“Hmm. Yes. Being late is a terrible offense. You’ll have to pay for it.”
“Let me guess. Judging by the way the girls are hanging out the window, wanting you to hurry, you’re going to torture them with ice cream.”
“Yep. I’m tough. You’d better not mess with me.”
“I’ll surrender without a fight.”
“You just want chocolate. You can’t fool me.”
“It’s not the chocolate I want.”
Alexandra’s heart skipped a beat as their gazes locked. Held. All around them the world kept turning. Kids dashing down the pathway, their towels fluttering out behind them. Mothers shouting to their children to mind the swim teacher and to meet right here when they were done.
The sound of engines starting, and vehicles chugging past and Hailey’s anguished “Hurry up! We’re dyin’!” was all part of the background, nothing but static that could not interrupt the single, perfect way John folded her hand in his.
The heat of his skin. The rough calluses that came with hard work. Sun browned, so dark against hers. So large against hers.
John was amazing. Everything he did made the world a better place, whether it was for his daughter or his mother and father or his community. He was good and kind and endlessly patient. Better than any man she’d ever known. And she wanted him with all the depth of her being.
She couldn’t help it. She was falling hard and fast in love with him.
Chapter Eleven
As John was packing the tents into the back of his truck, he was still scolding himself. What he should have said to Alexandra was, “I wanted to check up with you and make sure you were all right.”
“Dad, are you sure we can’t take Angel?” Hailey skidded to a stop on the concrete and leaned against the side of his truck, so little girl in her bright purple T-shirt and her matching purple sunglasses. “We can still pick her up from Grammy’s. Please? Pleeease?”
“She won’t be safe,” he told her for the fourteenth time in an hour. “Go get your backpack.”
“But—” Hailey sighed dramatically, enough to make any Oscar winner proud, and stomped off to the house.
His patience was wearing thin today, no doubt about that. Alexandra should be here any minute— He looked over his shoulder. There she was, driving into sight. Now would be a great time to grab the tent from inside the garage—from way in the back and look really busy.
He retreated, figuring keeping busy would help him forget how Alexandra kept gazing up at him the other day outside the ice-cream shop. Exactly the same way she was looking at him now.
“Hi.” She could dim the sun with the way she looked, dressed in a lemon-yellow tank top and denim shorts, her slender feet encased in chunky brown hiking boots that had seen better days. On her they looked perfect. She looked perfect.
He tore his gaze away. She may be perfect, but she wasn’t right for him.
Remember that, John. He tugged the tent from its resting place between the rafters. A stake tumbled loose and hit him in the head. “Ow,” he said as it crashed to the cement floor. “I nearly KO’d myself. That takes talent.”
“John!” She dropped the duffel slung over her shoulder and jogged over to him, bringing the sunshine with her. “Oh, you’re bleeding. Let me—”
She reached out, and he did his best to duck. But his ears were ringing a little and his balance was a little off. Pain pounded through the top of his skull, but he had a feeling it didn’t have much to do with the blow to his head. It had everything to do with the woman running her fingertips across his scalp.
“I don’t feel a lump. Yet. Let’s get you sitting down, and I’ll run for some ice.”
Now he was really feeling foolish. If he’d had his mind on what he was doing and not on the beautiful lady in his garage, he wouldn’t be bleeding right now.
Then again, she wouldn’t be at his side. For once, he wanted to let Alexandra fuss over him. To kiss away the pain. To touch him with those fingers that stroked away all the anguish and tension, leaving only peace.
He didn’t deserve peace. What he ought to be thinking about was how he was going to help this woman. That was his sworn duty to himself, to Alexandra and to the Lord. What had happened to his self-discipline that he couldn’t control his own thoughts? Instead of wanting to protect her, he wanted to haul her against his chest and kiss her.
And she wouldn’t stop touching him. Those tender fingers on his brow made him think about how tenderhearted she was. What a fine wife she would make.
See? This wasn’t good, and it had to stop. He caught her slim wrist, meaning to stop her from touching him. But instead, he was touching her. Felt the fine bones of her wrist beneath his fingertips and the warm silk of her skin.
She was wholesome and trusting and good and had no idea what he was thinking. She whipped out a folded handkerchief from her pocket and moved in. Didn’t she know what she was doing to him? The wall around his heart was crumbling dangerously and her gentle ministrations could be enough to bring the whole thing tumbling down. He squeezed his eyes shut, fighting for control. He would not think about kissing her.
“There.” She squinted, studying his brow. “The bleeding’s stopped. I think you’ll live.”
Live? She was killin’ him! She speared him deep. The defensive wall around his heart didn’t stop her none. She made him feel. She made him want to love her.
Love her? Alexandra needed his protection. That’s what he had to concentrate on. That’s what was important here.
She smiled, and the cracks in the wall around his heart grew bigger. Just like that. You wouldn’t think a man like him, who wasn’t afraid of scaling mountains with nothing more than a rope, would be so quick to crumble. It sure bothered him.
“Here, turn your head to the right. That’s it.” She was totally focused now as she peeled back the wrapping on a bandage she’d rescued from the first-aid box on the garage shelf.
He’d do just about anything, so long as she stayed with him. She pressed a bandage to his brow, just beneath the hairline, and her sweet scent enveloped him.
/> Her goodness shone when she took his hand. “I don’t think that blow to the head was enough to give you a concussion.”
“I’m a tough guy. I don’t get concussions.”
“I’m not fooled one bit, mister.” Her fingers curled around his and squeezed. “You’re not tough. You’re tender. Wow.”
Alexandra let go, her face flaming. Had she really said that? She couldn’t believe it. She high-tailed it out of the garage and headed straight for her car. She dug around for her sleeping bag and pillow and carried both to the back of the truck.
Was it too late to escape? She wasn’t ready for this, and she wasn’t sure she could believe in it. Was she going to get her heart broken, falling in love with a man like John?
“Let me help you with that.” Suddenly he was at her elbow, as dependable as the mountains that rimmed the valley. He lifted the bundle from her arms with ease.
“Wait. You have a spot of blood—” She couldn’t resist reaching out to touch him again.
The fine satin of his hair teased her knuckles, and the heat of his skin against her fingertips was amazing. She swiped at the speck of drying blood with the pad of her thumb. It felt intimate, to take care of him like this, and to be so close to him.
His eyes grew dark and his gaze traveled down her face and settled on her lips. Held.
He’s going to kiss me. Alexandra couldn’t think of anything else. Not the pillow she dropped or that they were visible from the house, where Hailey was. All she could think about was the way he inched ever closer, his gaze a touch that made her bottom lip tingle in anticipation. She wanted to share that sweetness with him.
Closer. His lips parted ever so slightly, and she did the same. She knew that his kiss would be tender and heartfelt. She also knew without asking that he hadn’t kissed anyone since his wife.
And he cares about me. Encouraged, she closed her eyes at the first brush of his lips to hers. Gentle. Just as she’d known his kiss would be. Perfect.
The ricochet of the front door slamming broke them apart. Alexandra took a step back, lost in her own feelings as John turned abruptly and rearranged the camping gear in the truck bed.
The kiss had lasted only a few seconds, but it had been enough for her to know for sure. He did feel the same way about her. This wonderful, good-to-the-core man did care for her.
It was unbelievable.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he said.
“Me, too.” Her heart felt full as Hailey burst into sight, dropped her backpack on the ground and wrapped her arms around Alexandra’s waist. What a blessed feeling, to have this child’s affection.
“I’m all packed and stuff. Guess what? Grammy took me shopping last night and I bought stuff for s’mores. I like ’em all mooshy, but not burned. Dad burns the marshmallows.”
“He’s a marshmallow burner? Shocking.”
“I confess it. I’m a real man. If we eat marshmallows, then they’d better be charred and crisped.” John winked as he scooped Hailey’s pack into the back of the truck.
A real man. Yes, he was certainly that. Alexandra’s spirits soared. This real man, good to the core, wanted to kiss her again. She felt certain of it.
And she was going to let him. It scared her, to think of trusting another man so deeply again. But looking at John as he told Hailey that they weren’t going to stop and see Angel on the way out, Alexandra couldn’t be too afraid. Even when he was annoyed, he kept his calm and his sense of humor. She loved him more for that, her very own white knight.
As if he could read her thoughts, he took her hand to help her into the truck. His touch made her heart soar.
Hailey chattered all the way, nearly nonstop, talking about everything while John drove with a bemused expression. They took the highway toward the mountains that were so close, Alexandra had to tip her head back to see their proud, jagged peaks.
“Sorry you came?” John asked in a split-second pause of Hailey’s conversation.
“I’m so suffering.” She didn’t want to be anywhere else. This was paradise, sheer perfection, and she wanted to cherish every moment.
Then again, any moment spent with John was bliss. The kiss hung in the air between them, the knowledge of it and the tenderness. It could only mean one thing—that he wanted her in his life.
Joy filled her up slowly, the way dawn came to the mountains. Love moved that way, quiet and true. She felt changed because of it. Look what her future could be. John and Hailey could be her family. This could be her life.
“I love my new sleeping bag,” Hailey announced. “It’s all soft and has stuff inside—”
“Most people call it fleece,” John clarified.
“And it’s snugly, and my feet don’t get cold if my socks get wet, ’cuz I fell in the river or somethin’ like that one time…” She went on and on, each story more darling than the next until Alexandra ached with happiness.
This is what a family could be. This right here. It was no fantasy, no daydream, but it was as real as an answered prayer all around her. The sound of a happy child who’d never known neglect or abuse. The capable presence of a man who loved and lived in accordance to the Lord’s word, which he held dear.
We could be happy together, she realized. Everything she’d ever wanted was right here. Within her reach.
Too full to speak, Alexandra didn’t say a word. She let the harmony of being with John gladden her. Hailey chattered, John added comments and Alexandra wanted to hold on to each moment forever. She wanted them to add up to a lifetime.
“This is the end of the road. Now the fun begins.” John guided the truck off the paved road. Low branches slapped against the truck’s high fenders.
“You call this fun? Running into trees?”
“No, the fun is in avoiding the trees. Watch.” They were going four-wheeling. One of John’s favorite things.
The old logging road was overgrown, hardly visible between the break in the trees that ribboned up the hillside and out of sight. Just the way he liked it.
He put the truck in four-wheel drive. “Hold on.”
Alexandra grabbed the door rail, laughing as the truck bumped and rocked over the rugged terrain. Not dangerous, but it was exhilarating. Hailey squealed, straining against her seat belt to watch as a young sapling hit the bumper and slid beneath the truck with a scraping sound.
“Look! A cougar!” Hailey pointed. “Oops. It ran away. There was this one time, when Dad and I hiked, and…”
He listened, delighted, as always, by his little girl and her exuberant spirit. But what he really noticed was Alexandra seated on the other side of the truck, her eyes shining with excitement.
Good. He wanted her to be happy. He sure liked her being here, with them. He tried not to think about the kiss they’d shared. It was brief, sweet. Friendly. Right?
Okay, he was trying to fool himself. There was nothing friendly about the kiss he’d given Alexandra. It had been tender. He’d kissed her with his whole heart. With a heart he had no right to offer her. Lord, please help me to remember that.
Resolved, he kept his attention on the faint tracks of the road hidden by thickets of grass and brush. Until the truck followed a curve into a clearing, and Alexandra’s gasp of amazement as the perfect peaks of the Bridger Mountains swept into sight. Strong, jagged, enduring.
He tried not to pick out the peak far to the left—he deliberately kept his gaze to the right, toward Alexandra. Maybe that was no coincidence. The fortress walls he’d built around his heart remained intact, but they were weakening. He had the terrible fear Alexandra could make them crumble.
Did he turn away from her? No. He could see only her. Her sparkle. Her gentle spirit. Her compassionate, loving nature as she climbed out of the truck, according to Hailey’s instructions, and held out a hand to help the little girl to the ground.
“Dad and I hike a whole lot,” Hailey was saying as she slipped her sunglasses off of her nose. “Did you hike with your dad?”
“N
ope. My dad wasn’t around much.”
“Christa’s dad is divorced and lives in Missoula. He ain’t around much, either.”
So trusting, Hailey’s fingers crept into Alexandra’s hand. John’s throat constricted watching the two of them. They could be mother and daughter, with the way they were both slim, both graceful, both sparkling like sunlight on a mountain stream.
“I’m so happy.” Hailey tipped her head back, causing her golden blond locks to tumble away from her face. “Very, very happy. Come with me, Alexandra. I know the way.”
“What about your dad? I guess we can forget him. He’s just the chauffeur.”
“We’d better bring him,” Hailey gleefully teased. “He’s good at packing stuff and he can put up the tent.”
“A useful man. All right, then, we’ll allow him to come. But only if he can keep up with us wild girls.”
“Yeah!” Hailey giggled. “Hurry up, Dad.”
“I’m coming. Golly.” He locked the cab and swung around to the back. “You wild girls look like you have a lot of energy. Here. You’d better carry the heavy pack.”
“But I’m the littlest.” Hailey shoved her glasses onto her nose, a precious sprite that smiled up at him with Bobbie’s grin. “He’s just teasing, Alexandra.”
“Me? Tease? I’m dead serious.” He hefted the big pack, with the heavy gear, out of the back of the truck bed and offered it to her. “Here, Alexandra. Since I’m just the chauffeur, not the pack mule.”
“Oh, you have other uses, too.”
It would be so easy to draw her into his arms and hold her sheltered and safe against his chest. Simple to give in to the tenderness he longed to feel for her.
Maybe he could give in. Just a little.
“I’m so glad you invited me.” She eased into her backpack. “I can’t wait to get started. How far are we going to hike in?”
“About two miles. Can you make it?”
“Me? Sure. The question is, can you?”
“Questioning my strength and endurance, are you? I’m not the most decorated member of the county’s search and rescue team for nothing.”