by Lori Foster
She looked stunned by his outrage. “I was useless.”
“You were in shock!”
“If I’d reacted…”
“No, Lizzy. There is no going back, no starting over. All any of us can do is make the most of each day. You’re such an intelligent woman, so giving and sincere, why can’t you see that you were an innocent that day?”
“You…you said you read the articles.”
“And I also know how the damn media can slant things deliberately to get the best story. One more human death means little enough to them when people pass away every day, some in more horrific circumstances than others. But a human-interest story on a young traumatized girl, well, now, that’s newsworthy. You were a pawn, sweetheart, a sacrifice to a headliner. That’s all there is to it.”
“I let her die,” she said, but she sounded vaguely uncertain, almost desperate to believe him.
“No.” Gabe pulled her close and kissed her hard. “You don’t know that. It was dark, it was raining. Even if, through the trauma of seeing your mother badly injured, you’d been able to run to the nearest phone, there’s no guarantee that you’d have gotten there safely, that you’d have found help and they’d have made it to her in time.”
She searched his face, then reached for another tissue. After mopping her eyes and blowing her nose, she admitted in a raw whisper, “My dad has said that. But I’d hear him crying at night, and I’d see how wounded he looked without my mother.”
Gabe cupped her tear-streaked cheeks, fighting his own emotions. “He still had you.” He wobbled her head, trying to get through to her, trying to reach her. “I know he had to be grateful for that.”
Her smile trembled and she gave an inelegant sniff. “Yes. He said he was. My father is wonderful.”
Relief filled him that at least her father hadn’t blamed her. The man had obviously been overwrought with grief. Gabe couldn’t begin to imagine how he’d react if something happened to Lizzy. If he ever lost her, he’d—Gabe froze, struck by the enormity of his thoughts. He loved Lizzy! It didn’t require rhyme or reason. It didn’t require a long courtship or special circumstances. He knew her, and she was so special, how could he not love her?
He touched the corner of her mouth with his thumb, already feeling his body tense with arousal and new awareness. “You’re a wonderful person, sweetheart, so you deserve a wonderful dad.”
Her eyes were red-rimmed, matching her nose, and her lips were puffy, her skin blotchy. Gabe thought she was possibly the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. The sheet slipped a bit, and he looked at her lush breasts, the faint sprinkling of freckles and the tantalizing peak of one soft nipple.
He tamped down his hunger and struggled to direct all his attention to her distress. “Will you believe me that you weren’t to blame, Lizzy?”
She bit her lip, then sighed. “I’ll believe you don’t blame me. But facts are facts. Some people possess heroic tendencies, and some people are ineffectual. I’m afraid I fall into the latter category.”
Gabe caught her hips and pulled her down so she lay flat in the bed. He whisked the sheet away. “Few people,” he said, while eyeing her luscious body, “are ever given the opportunity to really know if they’re heroic or not.” He placed his palm gently on her soft white belly. “Personally, I don’t think you can judge yourself by what a frightened, shy, injured twelve-year-old did.”
She stared at his mouth, firing his lust. “That’s…that’s why I’m studying this so hard. I want to help other adolescents to understand their own limitations, to know that they can’t be completely blamed for qualities they don’t possess. We’re all individuals.”
“And you don’t want any other child to hurt as you’ve hurt?”
Her beautiful eyes filled with tears again. “Yes.”
“I love you, Lizzy.”
Her eyes widened and she stared. Stock-still, she did no more than watch him with wary disbelief. Gabe had to laugh at himself. He hadn’t quite meant to blurt that out, and he felt a tad foolish.
Elizabeth was everything he wasn’t. Serious, studious, caring and concerned. She had a purpose for her life, while he’d always been content to idle away his time, shirking responsibilities, refusing to settle down, priding himself on his freedom. She was at the top of her class, while he’d gone from one minor to another, never quite deciding on any one thing he wanted to do in his life. His time in college had been more a lark than anything else; he’d gone because it was expected. He’d gotten good grades because his pride demanded nothing less, but it had been easy and had never meant anything to him.
Lizzy would never consider letting someone like him interrupt her plans. She was goal-oriented, while he was out for fun. She’d told him that she wanted the summer with him, but she’d never even hinted that she might want more than that.
Trying to make light of his declaration—though he refused to take it back—he said, “Don’t worry. I won’t start writing you poetry or begging you to elope.”
She blinked and her face colored, which added to her already blotchy cheeks and red nose, giving her a comical look. Gabe forced a grin and kissed her forehead. Damn, but he loved her. He felt ready to burst with it.
“Have I rendered you speechless, sweetheart?”
She swallowed hard. “Yes.” Then: “Gabe, did you mean it?”
“Absolutely.” He cupped her breast and idly flicked her soft nipple with his thumb until it stiffened. “How could I not love you, Lizzy? I’ve never known anyone like you. You make me laugh and you make me hot and you confuse my brain and my heart.”
She scrunched up her mouth, trying not to laugh. “How…romantic.”
Gabe shifted, settling himself between her long slender thighs. “I’m horny as hell,” he admitted in a growl, letting her feel the hardness of his body. “How romantic did you expect me to be?”
She looped both arms around his neck and smiled. “Thank you, Gabe.”
“For what?”
“For making me feel so much better.” Her fingers caressed his nape, and she wound her legs around him, holding him, welcoming him. “For being here with me now, for saying you love me.”
He started to reassure her that he hadn’t said the words lightly, that he meant them and felt them down to his very soul. But he held back. Similar words hadn’t crossed her lips, and he needed time to get himself together, to sort out this new revelation. So all he said was, “My pleasure,” and then he kissed her, trying to show her without words that they were meant for each other whether she knew it yet or not.
He felt as if his life hung in the balance. He needed her, but he didn’t know if he could make her need him in return.
SAWYER STOOD behind him, leaving a long shadow across the planks of wood that extended over the lake. Gabe didn’t bother to turn when he asked, “You want something, Sawyer?”
“Yeah. I want to know why you’re mangling all those nails.”
Gabe looked at the third nail he’d bent trying to hammer it into the new dock extension he was building for his brother Morgan. Normally he did this kind of work without thought, his movements fluid, one nail, one blow. Over the years he’d built so many docks, for his family and for area residents, that he should have been able to do it blindfolded. But he’d hit his damn thumb twice already and he was rapidly make a mess of things.
In a fit of frustration he flung the hammer onto the shore and stomped out of the water, sloshing the mud at his feet and sending minnows swimming away. Sawyer handed him a glass of iced tea when he got close enough.
“From Honey?”
“Yeah.” Sawyer stretched with lazy contentment. “She was all set to bring it to you herself, but I figured you might not welcome her mothering right now, since you’ve been a damn bear all week.”
Gabe grunted in response, then chugged the entire glassful, feeling some of it trickle down the side of his mouth and onto his heated chest. “Thanks.”
Sawyer lowered himself to the dry
grass and picked at a dandelion. He wore jeans and nothing else, and Gabe thought it was a miracle Honey had let him out of her sight. Ever since she’d announced her pregnancy three weeks ago, Sawyer had been like a buck in rutting season. When Honey was within reach, he was reaching for her, and there was a special new glow to their love. Honey wallowed in her husband’s attentions with total abandon. It was amusing—and damn annoying, because while their marriage grew visibly stronger every day, Gabe watched the time slip by, knowing Lizzy would be heading back to school soon. Three and a half weeks had passed, and he was no closer to tying her to him than he had been when he’d met her. Not once had she told him how she felt about him, yet their intimacy had grown until Gabe couldn’t keep her out of his mind. He had one week left. One lousy week.
It put him in a killing mood.
Cursing, he looked at the clouds, then decided he might as well make use of Sawyer’s visit, since it was obvious that’s what Sawyer intended by seeking him out. He looked at his oldest brother and said grimly, “I’m in love.”
Sawyer’s smile was slow and satisfied. “I figured as much. Elizabeth Parks?”
“Yeah.” Gabe rubbed the back of his neck, then sent a disgruntled glance at the half completed dock. “I might as well give up on this today. My head isn’t into it.”
“Morgan’ll understand. He’s not in a big hurry for the dock, and we’ve got plenty of room to keep the boat at the house. Besides, he suffered his own black moods before Misty put him out of his misery.”
“But that’s just it.” Gabe dropped down beside Sawyer and stretched out in the sun. The grass was warm and prickly against his back, and near his right ear, a bee buzzed. “I don’t see an end in sight for my particular brand of misery. Lizzy is going back to school. I’ve only got a few more days with her.”
“Have you told her you love her?”
“Yep. She was flattered.” Gabe made a wry face and laid one forearm over his eyes. “Can you believe that crap?”
A startled silence proved that wasn’t exactly what Sawyer had been expecting to hear. Compared to the way he and Morgan had fought the notion of falling in love, it was no wonder Sawyer was taken off guard.
“You’ve only known her a few weeks, Gabe.”
“I knew I loved her almost from the first.” He lowered his arm to stare at his brother. “It was the damnedest thing, but she introduced herself, then proceeded to crawl right in under my skin. And I like it. It’s making me nuts thinking about her going off to college again, this time with the knowledge that she’s sexy and exciting and that plenty of men will want her. She hadn’t known that before, you know. She thought she was too plain, and it’s for certain she was too quiet, too intense. But now…”
“Now you’ve corrupted her?”
Gabe couldn’t hold back his grin. “Yeah, she’s wonderfully corrupt. It’s one of the things I love most about her.”
Lizzy was the absolute best sex partner he’d ever had. Open, wild, giving and accepting. When she’d said she wanted to experience it all, she hadn’t been kidding. Gabe shivered with the memory, then suffered through Sawyer’s curious attention. No way would he share details with his brother, but then, there was no way Sawyer would expect him to.
And just as special to Gabe were the quiet times when they talked afterward. He’d shared stories about his mother with her, and in turn Lizzy had told him about her childhood before the accident. Their mothers were exact opposites, but both loving, both totally devoted to their children.
She’d cried several times while talking about her mom, but they were bittersweet tears of remembrance, not tears of regret or guilt. Gabe sincerely hoped she’d gotten over her ridiculous notion that she’d somehow held responsibility for her mother’s death. He couldn’t bear to think of her carrying that guilt on her slender shoulders.
“How much longer will she be in school?” Sawyer asked.
“Depends.” Gabe sat up and crossed his forearms over his knees, staring sightlessly at the crystal surface of the lake. The lot Morgan had chosen to build on was ideal, quiet and peaceful and scenic. But Gabe preferred the bustle of the bait shops, the boat rentals, the comings and goings of vacationers. He’d always loved summer best because it was the season filled with excitement and fun on the lake. He’d invariably hated to see it coming to an end, but never more so than now, when the end meant Lizzy would leave him.
“Depends on what?” Sawyer pressed.
“On what she decides to do. She could easily graduate this semester and be done, but knowing Lizzy she may well want to further her education. She’s so damn intelligent and so determined to learn as much as she can.”
“We have colleges closer that she could transfer to.”
“She’s never mentioned doing that.” It took him a moment to form the words, and then Gabe admitted, “I don’t want to get in her way. I don’t want to lure her into changing her plans for me, when I don’t even have any plans. I’ve spent my whole life goofing off, while Lizzy is the epitome of seriousness.” He met his oldest brother’s gaze and asked, “What right do I have to screw with her life when my own is up in the air?”
Sawyer was silent a moment, and just as Gabe started to expect a dose of sympathy, Sawyer made an obnoxious sound and shook his head. “That is the biggest bunch of melodramatic bull I’ve ever heard uttered. You don’t want to get in her way? Hell, Gabe, how can loving a woman get in her way?”
“She has plans.”
“And you don’t? Oh, that’s right. You said you’ve screwed around all your life. So then, that wasn’t you who helped Ceily rebuild after the fire at her restaurant? And it wasn’t you who worked his butt off for Rosemary when her daddy was sick and she needed help at the boat docks? I doubt there’s a body in town who you haven’t built, repaired or renovated something for.”
Gabe shrugged. “That’s just idle stuff. You know I like working with my hands, and I don’t mind helping out. But it’s not like having a real job. I can still remember how appalled Lizzy was when she first came here and found out I wasn’t employed. And rightfully so.”
“I see. So since you don’t have an office in town and a sign hanging off your door, you’re not really employed?”
Gabe frowned, not at all sure what Sawyer was getting at. “You know I’m not.”
Sawyer nodded slowly. “You know, when I first started practicing medicine, a lot of the hospital staff in the neighboring towns claimed I wasn’t legitimate. I worked out of the house so I could be near Casey, and there’s plenty of times when I don’t charge someone, or else I get paid with an apple pie and an invitation to visit. It used to steam me like you wouldn’t believe, that others would discount what I did just because I didn’t take on all the trappings.”
Gabe scowled. “It’s not at all the same thing. You’re about the best doctor around.” Then anger hit him and he asked, “Who the hell said you weren’t legitimate?”
“It doesn’t matter now.”
“The hell it doesn’t. Who was it, Sawyer?”
Laughing, Sawyer clapped him on the shoulder. “Forget it. It was a long time ago and what they thought never mattered a hill of beans to me. And now I have their respect, so I guess I proved myself in the end. But the point is—”
“The point is that someone insulted you. Who was it?”
“Gabe. You’re avoiding the subject here, which is you.” Sawyer used his stern, big-brother voice, which Gabe waved away without concern. He was too old to be intimated by his oldest overachiever brother. Sawyer didn’t mind now that he had Gabe’s attention again. “The point is, you damn near make as much money as I do, just by doing the odd job and always being available and being incredibly good at what you do. If it bothers you, well, then, rent a space in town and run a few ads and—” Sawyer snapped his fingers “—you’re legitimate. An honest-to-goodness self-employed craftsman. But don’t do it for the wrong reasons. Don’t make the assumption that it matters to Elizabeth, because she didn’t
strike me as the type to be so shallow.”
“She’s not shallow!”
Just as Gabe had ignored Sawyer’s annoyance, Sawyer ignored Gabe’s. “I have a question for you.”
“You’re getting on my nerves, Sawyer.”
“Have you let Elizabeth know that you’d like things to continue past the summer? Or is she maybe buying into that awesome reputation of yours and thinking you want this just to be a summer fling?”
The rustling of big doggy feet bounding excitedly through the grass alerted Sawyer and Gabe that they were being joined, and judging by the heavy footsteps following in the wake of the dog, they knew it was Morgan and his massive but good-natured pet, Godzilla. Gabe twisted to see his second-oldest brother just as Morgan snarled, “Let me guess. Sawyer is giving you advice on your love life now, too?”
“Too?” Gabe lifted a brow, then had to struggle to keep Godzilla from knocking him over. The dog hadn’t yet realized that he was far too big for anyone’s lap. Gabe shoved fur out of his face, dodged a wet tongue and asked, “Sawyer gave you advice?”
“Hell, yes.” Then: “Godzilla, get off my brother before you smother him.” Morgan threw a stick into the lake and Godzilla, always up for a game, scrambled the length of the half-built dock and did a perfect doggy dive off the end. All three men watched, then groaned, knowing they’d get sprayed when Godzilla shook himself dry.
“That damn dog has no fear,” Morgan grumbled. Gabe made a face.
“He must get that from you.”
Morgan returned his attention to Gabe. “Sawyer fancies himself an expert on women just because Honey walks around with a vacuous smile on her face all the time.”
Sawyer’s grin was pure satisfaction. “Just because Misty prefers to give you hell instead—”
“She gives me hell because she loves getting me riled.” Morgan chuckled. “She claims I’m a wild man when I’m riled.”