by Rye Hart
And right now, I needed as much peace as I could get, because my heart felt like it was being squeezed in a vice.
CHAPTER 9
THERESA
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
The door slammed behind Ike, and I did my best not to jump.
“You really think spreading your legs for some guy is going to erase all the bullshit you put me through, Theresa? That you could somehow start fresh a whole day after we broke up?”
“Ike, take a breath,” I said.
“Take a breath? I come into an apartment I’m still technically renting to find you fucking some other guy less than a day after we break up, and I’m supposed to be calm?”
“What did you expect me to do? I told you it was over between us and I meant it. Was I supposed to go into mourning for our shitty relationship?” I asked.
“Shitty relationship? I gave you eight fucking years of my life Theresa! I gave you everything I had.”
“What you gave me was a damn headache. Do you know how exhausting it was to fight with you all the damn time these past few years? I am done with it, Ike. And I’m done with you,” I said.
He stood, looking incredulous in front of me. “And what about me? What about how I feel about all of this?” he asked.
“It doesn’t matter what you think, Ike. What matters is that we’re done.”
“Done? You think it’s that easy to get rid of me, Theresa?” he hollered.
“It worked yesterday, didn’t it?” I spat. “I told you to get out, and you left. I’d like to try that again.”
Ike’s face turned bright red with anger, and I suddenly found myself wishing I hadn’t told Grant to leave.
“You are selfish, you know that? And stupid. And I can’t believe I wasted the last eight years of my life on you. Did you have no respect for our relationship at all? A day and a half and—by the smell of it—a bit of booze was all it took for you to dumb your standards down to the first guy who offered his cock to you? I supported you through school, I helped you through your mom’s death, I’ve paid your fucking rent for years, and this is how you treat me?”
I blocked his voice out of my mind and let him go on his tirade. If I let him get it out of his system, maybe he wouldn’t come back. But I knew my first priority had to be getting out of this place and finding something I could afford, even if it meant moving back in with my father or taking Hollis up on his offer. It wasn’t ideal, but it was better than this. It was better than Ike feeling like he had a right to the place because he paid two hundred dollars of the nine-hundred-dollar rent.
I allowed myself to relive my night with Grant. It had been amazing. And mind-blowing. And eye-opening. I’d never been handled like that. I’d never experienced those kinds of sensations with someone before. The way he commanded me then promptly settled me with the soft touch of his lips. The way his legs kicked my body open before pressing into my back. The way he had picked me up effortlessly into his arms after we were done shivering against one another.
The way our fingers intertwined and our bodies joined like they were made to fit together.
It had been wonderful, and I wished I could take my comment back. Being with Grant hadn’t been a mistake. Listening to Ike yell at me only served as proof. I’d gladly deal with Ike yelling at me every morning after for the rest of my life if it meant I could be with Grant.
But Grant wasn’t for me.
He never had been.
And I couldn't travel down that path again. My heartache for what my father did to Grant was what drove me into the arms of Ike. And I couldn’t allow myself to be weakened by a man like him any longer. I had to stand on my own two feet and figure out my life for myself, not rely on yet another guy, good as he may be, to get through life. I knew I could do it, and imagining a life with Grant would only disrupt what I knew I had to do.
But he wasn’t a mistake.
He could never be a mistake.
And I cursed myself for calling it that.
Either way, I didn’t deserve what Ike was doing to me. I didn’t deserve the yelling and the berating and him constantly holding things over my head. We both had our faults. But we were done.
“Ike?”
“What?”
“Are you done?” I asked.
“Seriously? Didn’t you hear a word I said?” he asked.
“If I tell you I did, will you shut up?” I asked.
“Excuse me?”
“Why are you here, Ike? I made myself perfectly clear yesterday and again a few minutes ago.”
“I was going to give you a chance to change your mind. To take back what you said yesterday after you realized what a big mistake it was to let me go. And I’m here because a friend of mine said he saw you out with some guy last night. And I told him it couldn't be true. Not my Theresa. She wasn’t that kind of girl. She wouldn't get drunk and go home with the first asshole that felt her up in a fucking bar!”
“He wasn’t just some guy, he was the one I’ve really wanted all these years,” I said plainly.
His jaw hit the floor, and I pushed myself off the wall.
“You made me look like a fool, Theresa! Like a goddamn fool!” Ike seethed.
“No, Ike, you did that to yourself. Did you ever stop to think that if you had treated me the way I deserved to be treated, that I wouldn’t have had to seek out a real man? A man who knows what it means to treat a woman right?”
Ike’s face was growing alarmingly red, but I didn’t care anymore. I was tired of him and his bullshit attitude.
“The only thing I see when I look at you now, Ike, is an abusive, manipulating bastard who has had his grasp on me for too long. I let you bully me for far too long, and I’m not going to do it anymore. Do you know why? Because I deserve better. I deserve better than you, and I’m going to find better than you. So, kiss my ass, Ike.”
“Your mother would’ve been so disappointed in you,” he said, lobbing the only insult he knew could hurt me anymore.
I felt myself snap. How dare this little cockroach tell me what my mother would’ve thought of me? I swore a blue streak at him as my hands and fists battered against his head, chest, and shoulders. I growled and dug my heels in, and I found the leverage I needed to push him toward the door.
“You are the sorriest excuse for a man I’ve ever encountered!”
I yanked the front door open as his eyes widened in shock.
“I didn’t want you in high school, and I don’t want you now!”
I grabbed his arm and slung him out the door, watching him stumble.
“And if you ever come back here again, Hollis will have you in handcuffs so fast your fucking head will spin!”
Then I slammed the door in his face, locked it up tight, and pressed my back against it.
I heard Ike’s steps stomping down the stairs as I heaved. I fell to all fours and thought I was going to vomit on the floor. My body was shaking, and adrenaline was coursing through my veins. I swallowed thickly and allowed myself to lie on the floor in front of the door with my cheek pressed against the cool hardwood flooring.
I felt simultaneously alive and empty. Soaring through the clouds with a weight still tied around my neck. Tears filled my eyes, but I refused to shed them. I’d cried enough tears to fill The Nile throughout the past few years, and I wasn't going to cry anymore.
My eyes fluttered over to the clock, and I groaned. I was about to be late for work. I didn’t have time to shower, and I knew I’d have to deal with my father’s looks when I got there. I pulled myself up off the floor and went to my room so I could try to clean myself up as best as I could. I twisted my hair up and pinned it to my head, then found fresh underwear to put on. I pulled on a new sundress and slid a cardigan over my shoulders. I slapped on a bit of makeup to try and cover up the redness of my face, then I grabbed an iced coffee from my fridge and chugged it down quickly.
I had to keep myself together through work. I didn’t need my father aski
ng questions. He couldn’t know about any of this, not about Ike or our fight or what sparked it. Because if he knew I had been with Grant—if he or my brother found out—Grant would be chased out again.
And I knew if that happened I would never get another chance to see him.
Ever.
CHAPTER 10
GRANT
When I pulled into Hollis’ driveway, I sighed with relief. The last thing I needed was to be answering questions about where I was the night before. I wasn’t ready for the barrage of curiosity nor was I ready for any stories on how he fucked Theresa’s best friend.
All I wanted to do was punch something. How Theresa could let that toad talk to her like that, I’d never understand. I stormed out back and picked up a crowbar, then began ripping the stairs away from Hollis’ porch. I was irate. My blood was boiling to the point I thought I might stroke out right there. What the fuck was wrong with Theresa? A mistake? Did she really think what we’d shared was a mistake? I was sure the raw passion had scared her. Hell, I was sure she hadn’t experienced something like that throughout the entire duration of her fucking relationship with that little rodent.
But a mistake?
Fuck no. Nothing that had or could happen between us was a mistake.
I ripped at the stairs and watched them crumble to the ground. A sorry excuse for a construction job, if asked my professional opinion. I ripped into the wood and knocked it off the side with the cool metal in my hand, allowing my anger to flood through my veins. Theresa wasn’t mine. She wasn’t mine to defend or mine to take on or mine to fix. But I wanted to. More than anything in the world. And she had called me a mistake.
I didn’t mean anything to her any longer. Once upon a time I had, but not anymore. I was nothing but a fling, something she wished she’d never done. And as much as I hated to admit it, that had sliced through me. Cut to my core. To a place that wasn’t yet scarred over with thick tissue. I was bleeding inside as I slammed the crowbar into the wood. I was in pain, and I didn’t know how to stop it.
All I knew how to do was power through it.
I threw all my energy into the porch. I put the staircase together and hammered the nails in the old-fashioned way. I beat the anger out of my bones as sweat dripped down my face. Plank after plank. Step after step. The sun hung heavily in the sky, and I could feel my need for water taking over the rest of my senses.
But when I went inside to hydrate, my vision was still dripping red.
So, instead of putting fresh holes in Hollis’ hallway, I took apart the railing on the back porch. It was rotted away as well because the wood wasn’t sealed properly, and it gave me another thing to do. I started crafting some of the excess wood into a sturdy railing, then I took to sanding it down. By the time I was done sanding and finishing off all the pieces, the sun was setting below the trees. It was getting cooler causing goosebumps to dot my arms.
I’d worked the entire day away in my own little zone, but my chest still hurt.
A phone ringing from inside caught my attention, so I set down my paintbrush. I walked up the newly-renovated steps and grinned when they didn’t creak underneath my weight. I walked inside and lifted my shirt to wipe off my brow, then I reached for the phone on the kitchen counter.
This bastard still had a landline?
“Hello?”
“I need your damn cell number.”
“Hey, Hollis. What’s up?”
“I wanted to let you know that I won’t be back tonight. I got picked up for a double shift, and I’m about to take a power nap before getting back out there.”
“That’s fine. I got your steps installed, and I may or may not be redoing the railing, too.”
“Then it sounds like I won’t be missed too much,” he said. “Thanks, man.”
“Least I could do?”
“See you in the morning,” he said.
“Yep.”
I hung up the phone and looked back out into the yard. I was going to have a lot of time to myself tonight, so I figured I could be productive. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and pulled up some music, then started back outside. If I gave myself a few more hours, I could have the railing installed and see about replacing the weathered boards on the main porch itself.
The music filled the backyard, and I bobbed my head. I went back to sanding and coating the finished pieces in primer so it could withstand Bar Harbor’s erratic summers and winters. I took my time lining up the railing pieces before adhering them into place.
The porch was coming along nicely, and I grinned as the music faded away.
I wiped the sweat from my brow and stood up to survey the porch, when a lone figure caught my eye. Theresa stood in front of me, wringing her hands. I had been so engrossed in what I was doing that I hadn’t even heard her pull up.
She stood there, beautiful as ever, looking like she had something to say, but wasn’t sure how to start. I wasn’t going to help her out. For as much as I wanted to reach out to her and make everything okay, she had hurt me more than I’d initially been willing to admit to that morning.
My eyes raked up and down her body, looking for any signs that Ike had laid his hands on her. I watched her sit down in a chair on the porch, and I walked up the steps, my forearm wiping the rest of the sweat off my face. I stood in front of her, my gaze never leaving her face as she fought for words.
“I’m sorry,” she finally said, in a voice so gentle I barely heard her.
“For what?” I asked. I needed to hear her say it.
“It wasn’t a mistake. You, Grant—you weren’t a mistake. You could never be.”
I watched tears form in her eyes, and I wanted to reach out and brush them away before they spilled down her cheeks, but my stubborn pride got in the way.
So, I stood and leaned against the railing I’d just installed.
“We’re done for real. He came back to ‘give me a chance to change my mind’, but I told him to kiss my ass.”
I grunted and nodded my head as I cast my gaze on the glowing horizon. I had nothing nice to say about that pathetic little weasel. Nighttime would soon be upon us, and it would get cold. Theresa didn’t look like she was dressed for the dropping temperatures at all. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to resist wrapping her up in my arms once the cold set in if she started shivering.
And we were at her brother’s house.
Across the street from her father.
This was a very bad concoction, and she’d been through enough.
“So, I guess I just wanted to say that,” Theresa said.
I nodded and watched as she pushed herself up from the chair.
Even though she was distraught, she walked taller. She wasn’t looking down at her feet, and her shoulders were rolled back a bit. The faintest tug of a grin ticked my cheek as I watched her walk away, and suddenly it dawned on me.
The one question I did want to ask her.
“What does it mean?” I asked.
“What?”
Theresa spun around on her heel to face me, a question in her eyes.
“The tattoo on your thigh. The small lily.”
“You saw that,” she said with a sigh.
“I saw everything last night. Saw it and memorized it.”
I watched her cheeks flush, and I suppressed the grin trying to escape.
“It’s for my mom. Lilies were her favorite flower,” Theresa said.
Then she turned and walked down the front steps.
I stood there silently as I heard her car backing out of the driveway. My stomach was in knots, and my mind swirled with confusion. This woman had me tied up in fucking knots. The job was done. I had come here to make sure that she was okay. To make sure that she was happy and being treated the way she deserved to be treated. To see her take herself back and be the woman I always knew she would become. She was no longer with the abusive piece of shit, and I was convinced that she would be okay. Seeing her walk taller and with more confidence only soli
dified the thought that she was going to be all right after all this.
I had work piling up back home and a company that needed me. My foremen were blowing up my phone, and the investors in a new project my company was about to start were threatening to pull the plug if I didn’t get my ass back to Boston to meet with them ASAP.
So why was I still here? Why was I rooted to a place that had caused me so much pain?
I knew why. I was here for her.
CHAPTER 11
THERESA
I sat in front of my computer at my dad’s dentistry office and sighed. Monday through Friday, eight in the morning until five in the afternoon. An hour break for lunch at twelve thirty and home for dinner by six. That was my life, my boring, routine life. It had been that way for the past four years, and it didn’t show any signs of stopping. I checked in clients and got them squared away with bills. I made sure people got paid on time and took phone calls regarding everything from deliveries to new clients in the area trying to find a dentist. It wasn’t glamorous, but it paid the bills. It wasn’t what I needed to live the life I truly wanted, but it was a start.
A start that had become more permanent than I had ever meant it to.
The past few days had been too much, and I wanted to talk to Jane and get her take on things. I wanted to enlist her help in finding me a new place. I wanted to fill her in on what happened with Grant and I and get her advice on the situation.
I also wanted to find Grant and not talk at all.
Either way, I wanted to do something, anything that was out of the ordinary. Anything to break up the monotony that had come to define my life. Everyone expected me to fall into step with a particular persona and I’d done that for so long. My father expected me to be the smart, innocent girl of the family. He expected me to get a Business degree and help him with his practice. He expected me to stick close and live in town for the rest of my life so he could check on me. And my brother? He expected me to be his little sister. To always talk with him about everything and to forever stay a virgin so he wouldn’t have to feel the need to kick anyone’s ass out of brotherly obligation.