Mercs!

by Dorian Dawes

  “Oh, I’m sure it’s nothing.” Rogers ruffled the boy’s hair.

  While the kid did his best to duck away from the android’s cold metal touch, Rogers gripped his gun beneath his cloak. His fingers were programmed to detect the ammo count of any weapon they touched. He’d taken the revolver off the first bandit he’d killed in his tenure as sheriff. It was fully loaded.

  An antiquated aesthetic disguised the cutting-edge technology within the six-shooter. Its tiny bullets were capable of ripping through any surface. He’d taken out drones, heavily armored thugs and the like with a single shot. He was equipped with other mechanisms of destruction, but he’d come to prefer the revolver. One clean shot meant shorter firefights, and shorter firefights meant reduced civilian casualties.

  He shooed Brick out of his office and stepped into the arid desert heat. Rumors of the incoming strangers must have spread quickly. The streets were all but deserted. He made a literal scan of the streets, swapping to thermographic vision to look for the approaching strangers.

  Rogers spotted the big one with the cannon first. Subject identified: Karstotzkiyan female. Their species had been near-driven to extinction several decades prior when the IGF colonized the galaxy. The heat signatures from her cannon were strong, and she carried the massive thing on her back like it was weightless. He let out a preprogrammed whistle sound he’d retrieved from a holovid. He hoped she wasn’t looking for a fight.

  Another figure approached from the east end of town, this one even shadier and more dangerous looking than the last. Subject identified: human male, though drastically mutated. He put out no heat signature whatsoever. Only the readings of his protective suit had been picked up on the scanners.

  “What is even going on,” Rogers whispered.

  A heat spike alerted him to the presence of another human woman entering the local tavern. She wore alien power armor from head to toe. It had all the colors of a sunset. The avian-inspired design suggested it might be Valran in origin, though he’d previously assumed the species to be a myth.

  He blinked twice. “Run diagnostics on captured visuals from scanners.”

  One of his recent upgrades he’d managed to arrange for himself was access to the Galactic Database of Wanted Criminals and Known Threats. He’d found it useful for identifying suspicious cowpokes who rolled into Dover Town looking for trouble.

  “Dr. Isaac Nergal—quarantined to Archimedes IV following a laboratory accident involving the experimentation of the worst toxins and viruses known to this sector of the galaxy. Reports indicate the spreading of contagious viruses via skin contact. Subjects experience extreme pain instantly and die within minutes. Avoid contact and alert the IGF if seen.”

  “Oh dear.”

  “Agda Valencia aka Big Ugly Bluebird or Big Ugly—former general of the Sapphire Knights deployed by the Ingle Corporation. She slaughtered every single member of her squad and deserted, stealing prototype military-grade equipment. Most notable of the stolen equipment is a prototype plasma cannon. Its exact specifications are considered classified. She has been making a living as an illegal mercenary traveling from planet to planet. Bounty is currently two million credits, dead or alive. The plasma cannon is to be immediately returned to the Ingle Corporation.”

  “Huh!”

  “Talisha Artul—licensed bounty hunter with a growing reputation and notoriety for her high success rate. Consistently deployed by the IGF against space pirates and other wanted criminals. The suit of armor and ship are both Valran in design, and, as of this current report, are the only known remaining artifacts of the lost alien species within the galaxy. No knowledge exists of how Talisha or her mother who wore the armor before her came to acquire such powerful relics.”

  “You gotta be kidding me,” Rogers groaned upon reading the final report. He sighed and gripped the brim of his hat, tightening it around his head. “All right, time to go to work.”

  The spurs on the edge of his boots rattled as he made his way down the dusty, empty streets. His spurs had been called useless, and he’d been teased for them by the locals. Maybe it was a flaw in his programming, but he liked having them. He found the sounds pleasurable, and it suited his motif. Weren’t nothing wrong with a little self-expression so long as he did his job right and proper.

  As he neared the saloon, he could hear a slew of voices from behind the wooden doors. That was odd. The saloon was never a rowdy place, mostly occupied by old prospectors sitting together to glumly reminisce. Rogers kept his fingers near the holster of his gun.

  The yelling and carousing came to an immediate halt the second he burst through the swinging doors. He surveyed the room cautiously, counting far too many heads than he was comfortable with. All of them had faces mean as a rattlesnake and twice as deadly.

  “Evening, folks,” Rogers tipped his hat to the saloon patrons. “Welcome to Dover Town. Thought I’d pop in and introduce myself.”

  He heard a gun click. A scaly-skinned individual with a wide-brimmed hat had a gun with a barrel as big around as his head pointed directly at him. Rogers let out a sigh.

  The scaly fiend chuckled. “Would you be the sheriff of this quaint little community?”

  “Sheriff Rogers, law-keeping and security android at your service.” He raised both hands in the air. “Now would you mind getting that pea-shooter out of my face?”

  No such luck. The gunman flicked a switch on the side of the gun, causing it to hum gradually to life, the cylinders on each side spinning and whirring. “There’s a bounty on yer head, Mistuh Rogers. Someone thinks you’ll be mighty valuable.”

  Cold metal pressed against the turquoise scales on the back of the gunman’s neck. The stocky dark-skinned woman with the weird alien armor was there. She had the long barrel of a thin blaster pressed tightly against his skin. Thick natural hair bounced in ringlets along the sides of her glass-cutting cheekbones. Most striking were her eyes. They held a stern gaze as deadly as any weapon. “Name’s Talisha,” she said. “Chances are, if you recognize this armor, you know who I am and what I can do. Now, if you’re interested in not having your head blasted off, I’d suggest you lower your gun like the nice robot said. He’s just trying to do his job and keep the law around these parts. I think we oughta let him, don’t you?”

  Another gun was raised. A double-barreled sawed-off shotgun aimed in Talisha’s direction by the creepy guy in the hazmat suit. He took a bold step forward, his feet thudding against the floorboards with each agonized movement.

  “Dr. Nergal, pleased to meet you. I know of you, the law-abiding bounty hunter,” he said, grinning widely. “But the problem lies in the fact that there’s no law on this backwater planet. You have no power here save for that which you can back up with lots and lots of guns and this robot is worth quite a bounty.”

  “I’m-I’m technically an android,” Rogers added, but doubted anyone was listening.

  It was an unpleasant sensation, standing in the middle of a room of armed hooligans all discussing him like a piece of property. He supposed in some way he was, though he’d never thought of himself as such. He’d always hoped he’d be seen as a member of the community, what with all he’d done for these people over the years. Not everyone would see him as a person deserving of all the same rights and decency. This scene was a harsh reminder of that fact.

  One of the tables was snatched from beneath a group of leering armed men and held aloft by the large Karstotzkiyan. The men fell cowering before her feet even as she flashed them a wide smile. She hadn’t even bothered with the huge blue cannon resting snuggly on her back.

  “Shootout would risk damage to the sheriff,” she explained, holding the table threateningly. “Our employers paid handsome money to acquire him and his weaponry. This is a retrieval mission.”

  Nergal slowly swung his shotgun to face her. “A retrieval mission with a competitive element attached. The whole booty goes to the first three mercenaries who bring the android to the designated location.”

&
nbsp; “I was told nothing of this,” Talisha barked. “You’re making this up.”

  “You’re a part of it, darling.” Nergal retrieved a sheet of paper stuffed into his belt. There were several chemical stains on the corners, and god knows what else, but Talisha’s photo next to Roger’s was clearly recognizable. “If you happen to die in the scuffle, our employer has a bonus to whoever can bring them your fabulous armor.”

  Talisha glared. “Motherfuh—”

  A warning shot fired into the ceiling interrupted her. All eyes turned to the android in the cowboy hat, brim lowered over his eyes. Sunlight poured through the hole in the ceiling, creating the perfect spotlight in the dim atmosphere.

  “Is it true? Did the good folk of this town really decide to auction me off to the highest bidder? Like I was some sort of frigging steer?” His voice was cold as his smooth metal skin, but the anger in his words carried well enough. The sheriff was pissed.

  Bluebird looked at him, her eyes softening. “I am sorry, Mr. Cowboy. I have a receipt as proof of purchase. Perhaps it would be better if you come with us. There is nothing left for you here.”

  “I’ve spent my entire life cycle for these people,” Rogers fumed, finger quivering over the trigger. “I’ve chased out varmints and scoundrels. I’ve protected and cared for each and every member of this community, and all without so much as a thank you, but I didn’t mind ’cause I thought I was one of them. I thought I was a part of this place. It was my home. And now? Now you’re telling me they’ve sold me off for a paycheck? Who’s gonna protect these people when I’m gone? I don’t, no, I won’t believe it.”

  Nergal sneered. “Face it, cowpoke. You’re an outdated model with a problematic quirk in your programming. You’re no cowboy, and this isn’t a holovid. With the credits and guns offered to this community by our employers, they’ll have more than enough to protect themselves and plenty of luxuries for years to come. Seems to me the citizens of Dover Town are getting the better deal.”

  The lights in Rogers’s eyes dimmed, then went red. He made a full sensor sweep on every one of these low-life scumbags. They were well-armed, highly-trained, professional mercenaries and all wanted a piece of him. Well, they could come and get it.

  “I don’t much like being sold,” he said. “I’m still sheriff and you’re all unwelcome here. Get out my goddamned town.”

  Bluebird cursed and threw the table in his direction. “He’s going to attack!”

  His android reflexes were swift and his movements quicker. Anyone without special lenses would have seen little more than a blur as he dove to the right and fired with pinpoint accuracy. A single bullet flew through the skulls of three men lined together. Others who thought they could hide behind overturned tables found themselves bleeding from bullets and splinters.

  Talisha lowered her helmet’s visor and blasted the head off the scaled man. A woman tried to grab her from behind only to get shoved off when Talisha jetted into the air. High energy burst fire from her arm cannon shredded through her attacker’s armor as if it were paper.

  Nergal cackled as he strewed casually through the carnage, stepping over fallen bodies while creating new ones with each shotgun blast. He turned his gun several times on Rogers, who took care to avoid the pellets scattering across the saloon. The wide arc of those shots scared him the most. Massive blasts like that were the hardest to dodge.

  Bluebird had fallen into a corner. Rogers assumed she hadn’t pulled her cannon out yet because it was likely to bring the whole saloon down around them. Despite her size, he wasn’t too worried about having to face off against her. She was a shiny blue target in a ruckus and many hoped to secure her high-tech weaponry. She’d be left holding her own against them for a while.

  A man tackled her. He was hurled into an unconscious stupor against the wall. A second went down in a single punch, bloody teeth flying a dozen different directions. By this point, they were coming at her in groups, and she could only kick and punch and throw so many of them.

  With a roar, she knocked a man off her wrist to activate a domed barrier shield about herself, pushing them away. Bullets deflected off the barrier and back at their shooters, some of them getting killed instantly. She laughed and charged back into the fray, using the shield to turn herself into a giant wrecking ball, smashing and trampling everything in her path.

  The battle lasted only a few minutes, a violent parade of bullets and lasers that utterly destroyed the saloon. Every surface of the building was covered in holes. It was a wonder any walls remained. Bodies littered the floor and stairwell, and blood soaked every floorboard. Nergal, Bluebird, Talisha, and Rogers were all who survived.

  Bluebird folded her arms across her chest and snorted, a large smile forming over her unprepossessing features. “That was a good fight,” she said, nodding approvingly at the bloodbath.

  Rogers gestured at her with his six-shooter. “Doesn’t have to be over yet, Bluebird.”

  Talisha lowered her arm cannon and blaster. “But it doesn’t have to continue. I’d hate to use all my resources on unnecessary posturing.”

  Nergal nodded. “It’s a shame I can’t claim the additional bounty on your armor, but all the same it’s simply not worth the effort to pry it off you.”

  “And you, tin-man?” Bluebird nodded at Rogers. “These people do not deserve your protection. Fuck them. Come with us. Claim big treasure.”

  Rogers holstered his weapon. “Treasure?”

  “The lost alien treasure of Archimedes IV, buried eons ago before this planet was first colonized.” Nergal slung the shotgun beneath his arm and knelt to inspect one of the dead bodies at his feet. “I once thought the treasure a myth, but clearly some are intent on finding it and willing to spend a lot of money to do so.”

  “But not enough to pay everyone they hired to come looking for it.” Talisha stared at the gore with a look of disgust.

  Nergal shrugged and stood. “Oh, I wouldn’t be too offended, m’dear. It’s good business when you’re hiring a bunch of desperate individuals to go searching for a treasure that may or may not exist. If they all kill each other, you don’t have to pay them. Eliminates fools and weaklings and you get the most out of your money.”

  “It’s unethical,” Talisha snapped. “It violates the contract between bounty hunters and their employers. Changing the terms of the bounty like that is despicable and poor business practice. I’ve a mind to leave this planet and report them to the IGF.”

  “Ah, but they’ve no jurisdiction out here,” Nergal argued.

  Talisha glowered at him. “So you’ve said.”

  Bluebird chuckled even as she scowled. “Fuck the IGF. They can’t even get their initials right. Intergalactic Peacekeeping Force, hah! It should be IPF. I Piss Freely! So, tin-man, you with us?”

  The ceiling fan chose that exact moment to fall and crash directly behind her. Both Nergal and Talisha reacted immediately, raising their weapons for another fight. Bluebird took a casual glance behind her and shrugged.

  “You big babies!” she bellowed, then laughed. “It is only a fan!”

  Rogers sighed. “Fine. Seems like someone went to a heckuva lot of trouble to purchase me. Suppose that makes me their employee.”

  “You’re more their property, technically speaking. As an android, you don’t qualify for human rights.” Nergal seemed all too eager to point this out.

  Rogers stared at him. “Don’t make me shoot a walking sack of disease and pestilence now, ya hear.”

  Nergal giggled. “Oh, you’re too kind! This is going to be such fun.”

  Rogers ignored him and touched his fingers lightly to the bullet-ridden saloon doors. Their hinges groaned and collapsed, sending the doors clattering to the ground. He sighed and stepped out into the streets. A crowd of onlookers had gathered, fixing him with wide, frightened stares.

  How had he not seen it? They’d given him these same looks for years. Nergal was right. They’d never view him as anything other than a weapon. Now
they’d have newer weapons, weapons they could control, weapons that didn’t think. He felt the rejection of their stares and moved passed, head held high.

  His shoulders went rigid and his fists clenched. He’d not the capacity for facial expressions, but his body language could communicate emotion just as well as any organic being He was in pain.

  “It isn’t right,” Talisha said.

  Bluebird shrugged. “What in the universe is? Fairness and order are lies told to us by the powerful.”

  Talisha folded her arms over her chest. “Didn’t take you for a philosopher.”

  “Just an observer,” Bluebird sniffed dismissively. “Take Sheriff there. Only dangerous because they wanted him to be. All his weapons and powers are a product of his environment. They created him and now they fear him. I’ve seen it before.”

  Bluebird’s stance parted, as if awaiting fresh combat. Her hands shook and her teeth grated together. She gripped the strap of her cannon like a security blanket.

  Talisha raised an eyebrow. “You okay there?”

  Bluebird froze. She melted into a smile and let out a hearty laugh, placing her hands on her hips. That breezy self-assured confidence returned. She smacked Talisha on the back, sending the smaller woman stumbling.

  “We are going to have fun, you and I,” Bluebird said with a wink.

  Dr. Nergal had been sticking the various corpses around on the floor with a syringe and extracting blood from the bodies to be stored in vials in a pouch worn about his waist. He moved over each corpse singing a cheery ditty to himself. He stopped, fondling an off-white trench-coat, somehow having remained clean and bulletproof despite the shooting. Only the corners were tattered and torn.

  He turned around to Bluebird and Talisha and gestured both arms outward in a showy, dramatic reveal. “Ta-dah! How do I look?”

  Talisha folded her arms over her chest. “You’re wearing a chemical-delivery apparatus over a tattered coat and a hazmat suit. Absolutely ridiculous.”

  “I like it!” Bluebird grinned. “Hideous but distinctive.”