by Avery Duncan
“What’s wrong?” she asked. She was used to his silence, but it was different this time.
Zyn turned amethyst eyes on her, giving her a small smile. “Nothing. I called Clear View, a school that’s only a couple of minutes away from us, yesterday. To register you.”
Jamie froze.
“I’m going to school again?” she asked, her voice nothing but air.
Zyn nodded. “I can’t just let you forget about education. It’s important.”
Jamie shook her head, sitting up. “I can’t go to school here,” she said, convinced.
He sighed and sat up, resting his elbows on his knees. His face looked almost sad as he scrubbed a hand over it. “Jamie, I know you don’t know anyone here but me --”
“That isn’t it,” she snapped, standing up. She didn’t care about meeting people, about having friends. She had him, why did she need to meet anyone else? Zyn had become the father she had never had. The prospect of school seemed like it would tear her life apart -- again.
“Well, what else could it be? I mean, you told me about your school, your friends. You seemed pretty popular,” he said, frustrated. He stood up with her, towering over her.
Jamie fumed, fisting her hands at her sides. He couldn’t understand -- he was the kind of guy that acted like he hadn’t a care in the world, how could he know that with school, problems came? What happened when she got a bad grade on a test -- what would he do to her?
The thought stopped her cold. He raised his hand, and she couldn’t stop the way she flinched.
Zyn froze. Just....froze. Stopped moving. Stopped breathing. And then, in a strained voice, he whispered, “You think I would ever hit you?”
For the first time in months, Jamie felt tears sting her eyes. And then she was running from him, to her room. She could hear him coming after her, but she slammed the door closed and locked it, sliding against the door to her knees. Jamie couldn’t help the tears that rained from her face. They had been bottled up since that first night, and she seemed to cry for hours and hours.
Later, after pouring her heart and soul into every single tear that fell from her face, there was a knock on the door. At first, she paused. Backing away from her door, she watched as it opened and had to force herself to get to her feet. When he saw her, he paused at the threshold of the door.
She swallowed and sat on the bed, keeping her head down. The bed dipped when he sat down on it, and he cleared his throat awkwardly.
“I think it’s time I show you something.”
Jamie looked at him from the corner of her eyes, but kept her head down. Her face was no doubt a mess, and she had never been a pretty crier. She took a breath and wiped her cheeks. “Show me what?” Even to her own ears, her voice was hoarse. She winced.
Zyn was silent as he held out his hand, unfolding his fingers in front of her view. In them, a scrap of paper was crumpled and almost brown, and under that was a small sepia picture. She swallowed, looking up at him for permission. “Go ahead,” he said, voice choked.
Jamie took the crumpled paper and the picture, hands shaking. In the photo was a baby with a patch of hair as dark as oil, and eyes as blue as the sky. Her heart stopped beating as she stared at it. “This is... who is this?” she asked, high-pitched voice making even her wince.
“That’s my daughter.”
She choked, bringing the picture closer to her face. She had seen this exact same picture in her mother’s purse, a long time ago. Jamie had always assumed it was her, but Zyn was saying this was his daughter, so it couldn’t be...
“Read the letter,” he told her, taking the picture. She stared at it still, even as his hands closed over it gently, as if the picture was as fragile as the baby it depicted. Hands shaking, numb, feeling like she was going to puke, Jamie opened up the latter as carefully as she could.
Dear Sin,
I’m sorry to have kept this from you as long as I have, but my conscience is getting the better of me. I do not know how to say this to you outright, and therefore I have written this letter. My husband will never know what we did, or even that that night existed. Please understand that while I write this, my heart is heavy because of what I will do to you...and the baby that you gave me. I’m begging you to leave us alone, to not come after us as I know any worthy man would. My husband would kill me, and the baby. If he ever found out, she would be damned and as would you.
The picture attached to this letter is yours for the keeping. I have a matching one, and should you ever need another, I will willingly give you mine. Please, for the safety of Jamie, leave us alone. Do not watch her, do not come after her. She is only a baby and will grow up to be a beautiful young woman. I cannot risk her future by allowing her to have communications with you.
When she is of age, I will not stop her from seeing you, but I will also not tell her who her real father is.
I hope that you understand and wish the best for Jamie.
Sincerely, Ms. Saxton.
“She... She spelt your name wrong...”
It was the only thing Jamie could say, could get out. Her throat was closed so tight, filled with tears, that it was all she could do to breathe.
The penmanship was definitely her mother's. It was elegant and refined, small and barely readable. The paper was a soft pink, from her mother’s ancient stationary that she insisted on using for every letter written. If she brought it to her nose, she swore it would be like walking into her mother’s room, even after all of these years.
“I never told her how to spell it,” he murmured. She could feel his eyes on her, watching her. Jamie looked at him, eyes wide and confused, watery. Desperate.
And then her head started shaking. “You aren’t...”
“Jamie, the only reason I didn’t come for you was because of the senator. Or I swear I would have been there for every birthday, for every tear and party and dinner, and breakfast. I never would have let any harm come to you,” he said brokenly. She recoiled, her head shaking even more.
“No... stop it... I can’t be...”
“Please believe me... When I heard word about you, about the Senator, I told him. I told him that you were mine, and I almost beat the living shit out of him for laying a hand on you. Your mother had to send you to me... I couldn’t let you live a life without knowing who I was, I couldn’t let myself --” His voice broke off. Zyn took a hard breath and stood up.
“I’ve loved you since the day you were born, since I knew that you were mine. Don’t ever doubt that you have a father who loves you as much as I do. If you don’t want to stay here... I’ll find someone to take care of you. I just.... I needed this time with you, my daughter...”
Jamie was too...devastated to cry. Was too shocked to do anything but stare at him. With a shaking hand, she held the note to him, speechless. His hands were unsteady when he took it from her.
“If you can find it in yourself to just...stay with me, I’ll show you my world. I’ll let you live the life you deserve. I’ll do everything I can to protect you and to make you happy. I couldn’t do anything less for you --”
“I’ll stay,” she managed to whisper. Her bottom lip trembled to the point where it was hard to talk, but the utter relief on his face was worth it. “But I need...to think.”
He nodded his head, closing his eyes. She could only imagine him trying not to cry, just as she was.
When he left, the door was closed so softly, it sounded and felt like a whisper of pain as it coursed through her with the power of a raging wave. Nothing could stop the onslaught of pain, nor the need to escape. Jamie grabbed her hoodie, threw it over her shoulders, and ran from her room blindly, not noticing how dark it was getting. Zyn didn’t come after her -- probably because he didn’t hear her.
So blinded by her tears, Jamie didn’t notice she was veering off of their normal trail until it was too late. The months that she had spent here hadn’t been fearful. Their walks were calming and peaceful, all during the day. She remembered his earlier
warning that she wasn’t allowed to leave the house after nine. It was well after nine-thirty.
Jamie stopped running, slowing to a walk. It was so dark that she couldn’t see her feet, and her normally keen senses were gone. The trees were so thick that she couldn’t see the moon, and the barely noticeable shadows the cast reminded her of the horror movies her mother had said she wasn’t allowed to watch, but had anyways.
“Oh god,” she breathed, turning in a circle and staring around her. Which way had she come from? Was Zyn going to notice she was gone? Her stomach rebelled against her, threatening to spill all over the dirt floor of the forest.
She felt something move behind her -- Jamie screamed, wrapping her arms around herself. Should she run? Should she stay until Zyn came to get her? She chose to run.
Flying, crashing, and slamming against things as she struggled to get away, Jamie’s lungs were working against her and everything was starting to blend, to blur right in front of her face. Crying out as something sliced at her cheek, she tripped over her feet and saw the ground coming go greet her face.
The fall stopped any movements she could have made. The trickle of blood that fell down her face was enough to traumatize her, but no more than the fact that, standing above her, was a creature as white as snow and as thin as a post. Her breath stalled in her lungs.
“Hmm...what have we here?” Jamie flinched at the chalk-on white-board sound that grated through her ears. The sound was cut off by a sort of...humming. It was the creature, she realized with horror. She could feel her eyes get wider with each second.
It bent down to her, and a chalky-white...appendage reached out and touched her skin. Ice shot through her body, and the thing pulled away with another hum. Her skin now felt as if it were being burnt by coldness. He held his finger in front of her face, and her own blood stared her in the face.
She reached up slowly to touch her cheek. She cried out, yanking her hand away and recoiling from the creature.
“Oh... my god. Oh my god, I’m going to --” Jamie felt her stomach leave her and the creature, with a disgusted sound, shot away from her, out of site.
“Jamie!”
She wrapped her hands around her stomach, curling into a ball. Zyn wasn’t going to come for her. He didn’t even know she had left. A tear rolled down her cheek as she stared at the crumpled leaves, the broken twigs, and her own spots of blood.
“Damnit, Jamie, answer me!”
She froze. Looked up. It couldn’t be Zyn. He wouldn’t... No, he wouldn’t come after her, would he? The minute she thought it, she felt stupid. He had just told her a bit ago that he would protect her no matter what...that he was her real father... Her body convulsed as pain tore through her, not only because of their conversation, but because of the ice that was slicing through her veins.
“Zyn...” she coughed, finding her throat tightly constricted and, as she talked, her breath became visible. Horrified, she cried out.
It felt like someone shoved a knife down her throat.
She heard pounding footsteps, and then Zyn’s strong hands were in front of her face. When he tried to touch her shoulder, unimaginable pain shot through her and she screamed, causing him to pull back.
“Goddamn It, no,” he half shouted, half groaned. The torment in his voice matched the pain in her body. She stared up at him, wishing she could just grab onto him and make him fix everything -- but it would hurt her too much.
Jamie panted, feeling the heat in her body slowly drain. Her cheek no longer felt as if it were burning -- there was simply too much happening to her body to account for it. The ice slid through her body, out of her body, everywhere it could reach.
The tears that fell from her eyes were turned to crystals. They gathered there, like a pile of diamonds. Zyn stared down at her, and for the first time, she saw what she never thought she’d see in his face.
He was crying.
Jamie fought the pain and coldness for as long as she could. She tried to reach out to him, to get him to stop crying and just...find a way to help her. She didn’t want to leave him after everything that she had learned, after learning that he was her real father.
And yet, it wasn’t enough.
Within seconds, she felt the final tug of her soul and the warmth that she had tried to find so hard, finally came to her.
“Is there anywhere that I can...hit something?”
Jessica looked up with her large bird eyes and peered at Jamie suspiciously. “In the building? Yes. But if you get me fired, I will never forgive you. Last time, I swore Talon was going to kill me!”
Jamie winced, putting her hands in her pockets. “I’m sorry about that...”
“Don’t worry, he didn’t. As you can see,” she smiled broadly, getting up from her swivel chair. Jamie stepped back to allow her some room and then gestured for her to lead the way.
As Jessica started talking up a storm, Jamie’s mind trailed off. She had woken up from the dream, bawling her eyes out and screaming. She was grateful that Talon hadn’t been there. It was the one thing that she feared most. That dream had become the bane of her existence, and she had all but forgotten it. It was so realistic, so... vivid. She never knew what to think after having it, and it had been years since she had been sent to therapy to subdue it.
While they walked through the blank walls, she saw Vladimir come out of one of the rooms with a grimace on his dazzling face.
“You okay?” she asked, doing as she had done all her life and forcing the dream from her mind. He looked utterly fed up, as if he was going to rip his now green and orange hair out.
He nodded, sighing dramatically. “Women amaze me, sometimes. Like right now, I have no doubts as to why I swing the other way.”
Jamie coughed as Jessica laughed. “Why do you say that?”
“My dear friend Devlin has struck again, wounding my fragile heart. Sometimes, I just want to drain her and throw her over a cliff. But, Lucian would be forever furious with me and my shots at a long and sex-filled life would be ruined.”
Her face flamed. “Is that...so.”
“Oh yes,” he said, arrogance dripping from his voice. “One day, Lucian shall be mine and Devlin will have run into a semi, causing her ultimate demise.”
“Do you hate her that much?” Despite herself, she laughed. The look Vladimir gave her would have sent her down the hall screaming, if she were Devlin.
“I do. It would bring me the greatest pleasure in life to see her blood flowing down the streets, with millions of people cheering as if a war just ended. And then we can go to the nursery homes and set up a stripper’s pole for them and...”
“Wait, what?” Jamie coughed, actually stopped walking.
Jessica laughed at her, grinning. “Vladimir here is our local hospice robber. You know, like cradle robber but...older.”
Vladimir took on a proud stance, shoulders straightening and eyes taking on a distant look. “It is my dream to take each and every wrinkled body I can and lavish them with soft licks of...”
“Stop it! I’m okay with you being...obsessed with old people, but I think Jessica and I can safely say that we do not want to know what you do behind closed doors. Thank you very much.”
She expected him to get offended and storm off in a wave of sparkles and hair gel, but he just laughed and waved his hankie at her, an almost delicate act. Jamie laughed even more.
Jessica showed her to the door while they learned more about Vladimir’s obsession with Lucian and his “nightly activities”, and before she knew it, Jamie was running back to her room and grabbing the comfiest clothing she could find. In only five minutes, she was in the workout room and surrounded by leather, weights, and different types of bench presses.
Vladimir had said he could come back in a bit with some refreshments for her, saying with quaint finality that he was going to be her new friend, but she didn’t wait for him. Talon was long gone, and she didn’t want to bother him. She stripped off her shirt was glad the sports bra
covered the little marks that were placed over her breasts.
Jessica and Vladimir were a good distraction, but the familiar feeling of ice ripping along her body was distracting and mentally painful. She saw those amethyst eyes almost everywhere she went, and the second she brought her fists up to punch the sand back, hair pulled back and nerves strung out as hell, she saw them. Staring at her.
In the sand bag.
Her chest tightened up to the point where she could barely breath, but she forced herself to bring up her leg in a roundhouse kick. The collision hurt, but at the same time it was a relief.
In minutes, she was lost in a workout routine and the world was closed off to nothing but the smell of leather and leather. She forgot about Vladimir and even forgot where she was. The more the dream tried to invade her mind, the harder and faster she punched and kicked.
That is, until she heard a soft growl.
She whipped around, not expecting to see Talon standing there. His arms were crossed over his chest, his legs crossed at his ankles, and the look in his eyes... She shivered, reaching for her shirt.
He gave her a devil’s smile and then strode forward, grabbing the shirt from her and throwing it over his shoulder. Jamie couldn’t stop he flush that came over her body as his hands came around her waist slowly pressing her body to his.
“What are you doing in here?” she asked, out of breath. Jamie looked up at him, putting her hands on his shoulders as he dragged her closer.
“Watching my woman beat the shit out of something. You know how unbelievably sexy that is?” His voice was so deep; he sounded like he was going to tear her clothes off right there. Her head shook mutely, and she stared up at him. She noticed how soft yet firm his lips were, how his hair didn’t look ruffled at all... She should change that, she thought, starting to smile.
Still sounding like he was going to take her up against the wall, she was shocked when he asked, “Why am I seeing shadows in your eyes?”