by Natalie Ann
Whatever had happened between Betsy and her mother, it was obvious Betsy cared for Libby. Betsy was crying just as hard as Jordyn now. “I never got to say I was sorry.”
“For what?” Drew asked.
Betsy took a few minutes to compose herself. “Do you know anything about your mother’s past?”
“No. I just found out Tim was my father a few months ago. He passed away a year ago too.”
“I know. Tim was my ex-husband. I hadn’t seen him in years, or talked to him, even though he didn’t live that far away. His children hadn’t either, but I was notified when he died. There were life insurance policies and things to address, his possessions for the kids. I thought Tim tried to contact you,” Betsy said, looking confused.
“I don’t know. I think so. I found a letter in a safe deposit box from my mother written years ago, telling him to stay away. I found this too and took a chance coming here.” She pulled the letter addressed to her siblings out of her bag.
Betsy reached for it. “I had it sent back. The kids weren’t talking to him much at that point. I knew what was in that letter and I didn’t want them to know. He respected my wishes when he called after the letter was returned to him.” Betsy handed it back. “I don’t want it. You can keep it. That letter was telling the kids about you. They didn’t need any more turmoil in their lives and they didn’t know about Tim, my, and Libby’s past life either. I don’t want them to know,” she said firmly.
“I don’t know either,” Jordyn said, almost pleading with her. “Please tell me. I don’t know anything at all. I just found out who my father was after both my parents were gone. I’ve never known of any family of mine. Now I’m finding out I have siblings.”
She didn’t mention anything about Trent. She found it odd that Betsy knew about her, but not Trent, and decided to keep that to herself for now.
“I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to go back to that time.”
“Please,” Jordyn said, begging her. “Just tell me something. I’ve got no one. No family, nothing. No connection to my past, nothing more than names now.”
Betsy looked up at the ceiling, trying to compose herself, Jordyn saw, then she nodded her head once. “Give me a few minutes to gather my thoughts. I’m not sure where to begin and I just want to say it once.”
Just Me
“I met Tim and your mother when I was ten,” Betsy started to say.
“In Texas?” Jordyn asked.
“So you do know?”
“No. I mean, I’ve gotten clues from things and have pieced stuff together, but nothing definitive.” Jordyn shook her head. “I’m sorry, continue.”
“My mother remarried when I was nine and we went to live in Texas. My stepfather had lost his job and they were trying to figure out what to do and where to go. His brother was part of a religious group.”
“The Triple H Haven?” Jordyn asked and almost kicked herself for interrupting again when Betsy frowned at her.
“Yes. And sorry for my reaction. I never wanted to hear that name again. This is difficult for me to talk about. It was so long ago and I’ve put it behind me, or tried.”
“I know. I’m sorry for bringing it up again, but I’d really like to know. It won’t go any further, I promise.”
Jordyn meant every word of it. She wouldn’t bother Betsy again. As much as she would love to meet her siblings, at this point she just wanted answers and would promise anything in order to get them.
“Libby and Tim were already living there. Tim was several years older than us, Libby just a few months older than me.”
Jordyn pulled the picture out of her purse. “Is this you?”
“Yes,” Betsy said, taking the picture. “Where did you get this?”
“It was in the safe deposit box at the bank.”
Betsy ran her finger over the picture. “Everyone thought we were sisters. We did everything together.”
“You look similar, too.”
Betsy chuckled, not a humorous laugh though. “We had to all dress the same and wear our hair the same. No one could stand out. Did your mother keep her hair long like yours? Like in this picture with the part down the center?”
“No. She never had her hair longer than her shoulders and usually much shorter.”
Jordyn never thought anything of that, but remembered now that she once asked her mom why she never grew her hair longer and Libby had said because it brought back bad memories. At that time Jordyn knew better than to question her mom.
“We weren’t allowed to make any decision back then. We all had to wear what we were told, act like we were told and not to speak unless spoken to. We all had jobs to do on the ranch and we all had to pull our weight or we were punished. And please don’t ask me to talk about the punishments.”
Jordyn nodded. Though part of her was curious, the other part of her truly didn’t want to know. “Did you quilt or sew?”
“No,” Betsy said, shaking her head. “I wasn’t very good at it. Your mother was a natural and had to spend hours each day sitting in the living room with the other girls sewing and quilting. I was sent to work the ranch and take care of the animals. The chickens were my responsibility. I still can’t eat eggs to this day.”
“What did Tim do?”
“The men had different responsibilities. Many had multiple wives as they got older, if they were allowed to stay. Your grandmother, Libby’s mother, was married to one of the elders, or the leaders of the group. He had three wives and your grandmother was the third wife.”
“Does my mother have siblings?” That thought had just popped into her head. “Was she born there, do you know?”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know that. I mean, I know that your mother had two older sisters, but I don’t know if your mother showed up one day like we did, or was born there. Things like that weren’t discussed.”
“What about Tim? How does he fit into this?”
Jordyn’s head was spinning. There were so many things racing through her mind and she wasn’t sure what to ask first.
“His father was one of the elders, but not that high of a ranking. He only had one wife, though he wanted another. It was a strange hierarchy and I don’t really remember much about it. Or I blocked it from my mind. Anyway, I don’t know when or how he ended up there either. We never talked about it on the ranch, and once we left that part of our lives, it ceased to exist to us. Anyway,” Betsy waved her hand, shook her head and continued on. “He did ranching too. The boys were allowed to leave the ranch with the men for outings and supply runs. They went to the markets and sold what they could. Tim was a bit of a troublemaker though. He didn’t want to conform to the teachings and he was always breaking the rules.”
“What kind of rules?”
Betsy tilted her head toward the picture. “That picture, for one. He liked to take pictures, and one of the things he did was photograph the work and the animals on the farm. Items that would be brought to fairs or sold, and the pictures would try to get more business. But he liked taking pictures of the kids, though that was off limits.”
“So he took this picture?” Her father liked photography like her.
“Yeah. I never saw it though. I think he was kicked out before the film was developed. He took his camera with him when he left.”
“Why was he kicked out? Was it one final thing that did it?”
“There were lots of things. Your mother and I never wanted to be there on the ranch. We didn’t fall for the teachings, but there was no way out for us. We learned the hard way to stop voicing our opinions or thoughts. We were close to thirteen when that picture was taken. I personally think he was kicked out because all the girls liked him. Little by little when the girls reached eighteen, they were given as wives to other men or promised to boys in the group.”
“Was my mother given to someone?” That thought appalled her.
“No. Tim always said he’d come back for us, but as the years went by we stopped believing and h
oping, figuring our fate was sealed. There was no way on or off the ranch for the girls without being caught. A few months before Libby’s eighteenth birthday, Tim showed up one night. It had been years and I almost didn’t recognize him. He said he’d been in the Navy and was saving money and waiting for the right time to come back and get us.”
“So he kept his word?” Maybe her father wasn’t as horrible of a person as she had been led to believe.
“He did. Libby and I always thought Tim was so handsome. We both had a crush on him, even though that was forbidden. He snuck on the compound that night in regular clothes. I didn’t even know he was in the service until he told us. He didn’t want to risk standing out in his uniform, so he must have bought clothes when he was on leave and changed quickly. He took Libby first because she was older, but promised he’d be back in a week. I didn’t hold my breath though. I was just glad one of us was getting out.”
“Why didn’t you think he would return for you?”
“If the elders—or anyone—found out Libby was missing, the compound would be on high alert. There would be no way for me to escape. I still can’t believe we pulled it off.”
“How then?” This was all too surreal to her, almost like out of a movie.
“Libby and I were sharing a room then. Just a tiny room together, when other kids had more in a room. I said she was sick and then I pretended to be her when someone knocked on the door. I did a lot of running around that week covering for her, praying Tim would come back. Having to always look the same worked in our favor that week.”
“And he did come back, obviously,” Drew said.
“Yeah. He did, just like he said. But he was in more of a hurry. I think he felt time was working against him. I didn’t get to take anything with me at all. I had to leave with the clothes on my back. Libby had thrown some clothes in her grandmother’s chest that was in our room and begged Tim to let her take it. I watched them struggle to carry it together, but she didn’t want to leave it behind. I don’t know why. Personally I was glad I had no memories of that place.”
Jordyn turned her head and looked at Drew. It had all started with that chest, really. That chest led her back to Texas.
“I’m glad she took it. At least it’s something of hers I still have.”
“Tim set Libby up in Florida. He’d purchased two plane tickets and had already set up an apartment for her and paid the first few months’ rent. He’d told me all of that when he came back for me. He did the same for me here.”
“Why separate you two?” Drew asked.
“He was afraid once it was discovered we were missing they would be looking for two girls. They wouldn’t have known that it had been Tim that helped us escape. I think that was why he did everything in plain clothes and not his uniform. He didn’t want to draw attention to himself.”
“He would have been arrested for kidnapping two seventeen-year-old girls, too,” Drew pointed out.
“I don’t think any of us were thinking that. We just wanted to get away.”
“Then what? How did you find out about me? Why didn’t Tim go back to her? I don’t understand that,” Jordyn said, still trying to piece things together.
“My guess is Libby and Tim created you in that week. Which was no different than Brandon being created at that time, too.”
“What?” Jordyn asked. “My brother and I were born within days of each other?”
“Yes. He was born five days after you, but Tim didn’t know about you for years. Your mother was stronger than I was. She could stand on her own feet and Tim knew that. After he got me settled, he said he would get back in touch with me when he could. He’d write me and we’d stay in contact. I’m sure he told your mother the same thing.”
“I don’t know. My mother had a lot of bad feelings toward men. She always said they never kept their word and always left you.”
She remembered it being said too much for her to believe that Tim made contact again.
“I honestly have no clue. I didn’t find out about you until years ago myself. Maybe he didn’t either. Maybe he never did go back for your mother or contact her. Like I said, she was stronger than I was. I didn’t want Tim to leave me. I was crying and begging him not to go, even though I knew he had to. But he did come back for me. He wrote me like he said, and I told him I was pregnant. On his next leave, we married, but it wasn’t a happy marriage and didn’t last long.”
It was information overload for Jordyn. As happy as she was to hear all of this and get some answers, there was still more she wanted. Only she wasn’t sure if Betsy would be willing to tell her more.
“What was Tim like as a person?”
“He wasn’t a happy man, which is why it wasn’t a happy marriage. It only lasted as long as it did because he was gone all the time. He wasn’t the best husband and sure the hell not the best father. Detached. I guess that is the best word for him. Then again, it’s not like he had any role models growing up. That’s how it was for us on the compound. No affection was ever given, no nice words. We just coexisted together.”
Jordyn remembered that about her mother. She knew her mother loved her, she’d said it at times, but she never really hugged her. She never showed a lot of affection for her. When her mother did touch her, it was often hesitantly, like she was unsure.
“Thank you for telling me what you did. I know it was hard. Can I leave my information with you in case you ever decide to tell Brandon and Katy they have a sister?”
She knew it was a long shot, but she wanted to try and she didn’t want to overstay her welcome at this point.
“Sure. I can’t promise you anything. The kids didn’t feel much for their father. They’re nothing like him at all and they hated the way he treated me, like I was a possession at times. You know the funny thing…” Betsy started to say, then stopped, almost hesitating.
“What?”
“I was shocked when I found out he went in the service. He hated everything about the compound. The structure, the rules and hierarchy of things. The service is really not much different in terms of structure and rules.”
“Did he ever say why he enlisted?”
“He said he’d lived so much of his life under order that once he was on his own, he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t seem to make decisions, and when he tried, they were always the wrong ones.”
It sounded like the only good decision Tim ever made was helping her mother and Betsy escape.
“He doesn’t sound like a good person,” Jordyn said sadly.
“I know I’m being hard on him and it’s probably not what you wanted to hear. He left your mother high and dry to fend for herself. I’d say you turned out pretty darn good. Better than Brandon would have if I was on my own. But the truth of it is, Tim was a good person deep down, he just never had any guidance. No one ever showed him how to be a real man.”
***
In the airport parking lot, Drew looked at Jordyn as she sat in the car quietly. They had two hours until their flight, but still needed to check in. “How are you holding up?”
She turned her head, the tears in her eyes visible. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I feel right now. I don’t think she knew about Trent.”
“I don’t think so either.”
“Do you think I have more siblings out there?”
“You could. Does it matter?” He’d wondered the very same thing, but deep down he thought it was possible that it was only the four of them. “I get the feeling he was trying to make amends in his life, though. You were the last one remaining. Think about it, Jordyn. He knew about Trent and walked away. It sounds like that had happened right after he was kicked out of the compound.”
“Then he went into the service,” she said, “maybe trying to find that structure he needed?”
“Right. A few years go by and he fulfills his promise to go back to the compound for your mom and Betsy. It took him a while, but he did it.”
“Then he left my mother. He too
k advantage of her. He had to have. She was seventeen and sheltered. He had sex with her before he walked away. The way my mother talked about men makes me think he made promises to her and didn’t keep them. That’s not a good person,” she argued.
No, it wasn’t. He couldn’t agree more. “You’ll never know what really went on in Tim’s head. No one ever will and you’ll only drive yourself nuts trying to pick it apart.”
“I know. I should be happy I finally have answers, but part of me is just sad right now.”
“Why’s that?” He reached over and picked her hand up, bringing it to his lips.
“I still don’t have anyone. Brandon and Katy don’t know anything about me and I won’t try to seek them out, even though I want to. I made a promise to Betsy and I’ll honor that. Trent isn’t alive; neither is Tim or my mother. It’s still just me. I know more about my past, but it’s still just me.”
“No, it’s not. You have me. All my love is all you need. I’ll give you everything I have, Jordyn. You know that. And I’ll never break my word to you. I’ll never be the person Tim was.”
“I know you won’t. You’re a man. A real man. Even if your father hadn’t raised you the way he did, hadn’t given you such a good example, you still would be the person you are today. I believe that wholeheartedly. So you’re right, I’m really not alone.”
“No, you aren’t. You’ve got me and my family. Always.”
Live Your Life
Spring was in the air. The sun was shining through her office window, the snow had all melted, and she was thrilled to not have her heat turned up on full blast anymore.
She’d been working for hours straight, staring at her computer and finishing up a new project. With any luck she’d be done before lunch and could run over to the development and start snapping pictures of the new houses being built. They’d broken ground just last week and every day or so she was trying to get out there and snap pictures to get a nice progression of things.