Conklin's Blueprints

by Brooke Page

  Oh my…

  It tasted unbelievably good. I chewed it slowly as if that would make me burn the calories I was consuming. The way the cheese was melting in my mouth mixed with the sweetness of the pineapple and the saltiness of the ham. It was as though I had died and gone to heaven.

  “It’s good, right?” Gage grinned, encouraging me to take another bite.

  I guess one piece of pizza wouldn’t kill me. Hopefully I wouldn’t dream about it the next few nights and cave to the urge of ordering one in the middle of the night.

  The rest of the meal went by with great ease. Gage talked about his work and how his manager was really fond of him and was helping him learn how to manage the shop. He filled me in on how his mom was doing and that he was staying with her to help with the mortgage. I admired his loyalty to his mom. She worked so hard for Gage, and they clearly were all each other had.

  He stayed on my side of the booth, and when we were done eating and had gotten our change back, he slid his hand back on my thigh. It felt nice, but I felt uncomfortable that it didn’t bother me. I went to move his hand, and he interlaced our fingers while standing up to pull me out of the booth in a swift movement.

  He gave me a heartwarming smile as we walked out of the restaurant hand in hand. I tried to let go, but he wouldn’t let me until we got to his car. He even opened the door for me. Gage never did that.

  He got into his side of the car and pulled out of Vitale’s. “Where do you live? Or is your car back at the gym?” he asked.

  “No, I walked to the gym. I live in the River House Condos on Lake Michigan by Pearl Street.”

  He smirked and almost had a hint of sadness in his eyes.

  We pulled into the ramp, and I told him where to park. “You could have just dropped me off at the front.”

  He shrugged his shoulders and turned the car off. “I don’t mind,” he said, not budging from his seat. I gulped at his stare. His eyes were getting hungry again, and I wasn’t ready for what he wanted.

  “Gage…” I didn’t know how to tell him I wasn’t ready to be with another man, especially one that I knew didn’t want anything more than something physical.

  He stretched his arm out across the back of the bench seat and slouched a bit in the seat, as though he were inviting me to come snuggle up next to him. “Bs, we’ve had some good memories in this front seat,” he said, ignoring my accusing tone.

  I sighed. “Yeah, I know… and thank you for tonight. It was nice and took my mind off of… things.”

  He smiled and patted the seat next to him. “Let’s clear your mind completely.”

  I rolled my eyes. He was always so blunt, acting as though he were joking but really wasn’t.

  “I’m not going to have sex with you just to have sex. I’m not letting myself do that anymore,” I said in a whispered, unable to look at him.

  He scooted so he was right next to me. “Becca, I’m not just some random guy. We know each other,” he said lifting his hand and moving my bangs across my forehead. “You and I both know it will be good. It always is with us.” His lips were so close to my ear.

  “I know, but I’m 24. I want to settle down, get married, have a family. I know that might seem weird now a days, but I don’t...I don’t want to be used anymore,” I choked out. I felt tears build up in my eyes.

  He put his forehead on my temple and wrapped his arms around me. “You can have all that, but why not start tomorrow?”

  Was he serious? God, he was a tramp. I always knew he was, but those words sealed the deal. I opened the door and pushed him away from me.

  “Bs,” he said in a scolding tone, while scampering out of the car to follow me. “This is about that stiff you were with at McFadden’s, isn’t it? You’re hung up on him aren’t you?”

  I marched to the elevator.

  “No, he turned out to be an asshole, and I don’t invest time into assholes anymore,” I seethed with tears flowing down my cheeks, tapping my foot on the floor as though it would make the elevator arrive faster.

  “Come on, you know you can’t put me in that category. We had something that summer. You were the one who squashed it.”

  I turned and gaped at him. “Are you kidding? You are the biggest whore. You were sleeping with other girls that summer! Don’t act like I meant more to you than some easy lay!” I was angry and not in the mood to put up with him trying to coax me back into bed with him.

  His face went red. “I never slept with anyone else that summer!”

  I laughed in his face. “Well I know you screwed my sister’s friend the second I went away to school!” I wiped away tears. Why was the elevator taking so damn long?

  He fidgeted in front of me with his hands in his mesh pants pockets. “I missed you, okay? I was trying to fill the void,” he mumbled as though he was embarrassed and afraid to meet my eyes. I laughed again. He was trying really hard to get laid.

  “I’m glad this is funny to you,” he said glaring at me.

  My laughter turned into a frown then into sobs. I was so fed up with men and their bullshit.

  Gage pulled his hands out of his pockets and reached for me. I stepped back, hitting the wall. Gage grabbed both of my biceps, lowering his eyes to meet mine.

  “I know I’m a man whore, and I’m sorry. But we are friends, Bs. I don’t like when you are sad. No more trying to get into your pants, okay?”

  He was being sincere, and I cried harder. Finally the elevator came, and we both walked on. Gage pulled me into his chest, tightly wrapping his arms around me as I held my hands to my face crying.

  “Do you want to talk? I can stay,” he said rubbing my back.

  I shook my head no. I didn’t want to talk, not to Gage, not to Jamie, not to anyone.

  I left Gage at the front door and wandered inside, loathing in my self pity. Just as I was going to my room, Jamie’s phone started ringing. I stopped dead in my tracks and narrowed my eyes. She must have left it on the counter before she went to bed.

  My curiosity got the best of me. I went to the counter and picked up the phone. I groaned and decided to answer. “Hello?”

  “Becca dear! I have been trying to reach you! Did you lose your phone?” my mother exasperated.

  “Nope, I shut it off. I have been busy.” My tone was flat.

  “Well, we need to get you a dress for the Christmas party this weekend. What is Tyler wearing? You should complement him.”

  “Remember how I told you not to look into my friendship with Tyler? We aren’t dating, and I’m not going to Dad’s party with him,” I said gritting my teeth.

  “Oh, no… Becca what happened?” my mother asked with concern.

  “Nothing happened. Nothing ever happened,” I whispered.

  “Well, he is shooting for the stars, sweetheart.” I knew the tone she was taking. She was secretly saying I wasn’t good enough for him.

  “You haven’t gone on an ice cream binge have you dear? My PT is available for you to use if you did darling. I’m sure he can whip you into shape if you book with him the rest of the week,” she said with sincerity. I wanted to chuck the phone across the room. Was I ever going to be good enough for her? Even if I did binge on a pint of ice cream, why the hell should she care? Shouldn’t she just love me for me no matter what I looked like or put in my mouth?

  “I’m fine. I have to go,” I said hanging up the phone before she could say anything else. I tossed Jamie’s phone on the counter.

  I was on the verge of losing my sanity.

  As though a light bulb turned on, a devilish grin spread across my face.

  Fuck all of them.

  “It’s time for a change, and I don’t care what anyone else thinks. If I have to find happiness in my own misery then I will,” I said to myself.

  I went to find my cell phone. Ignoring the boatload of missed calls, I scrolled through my phone to find the one person that would make my mother’s skin crawl, Ashlynn jealous, and Tyler furious.

  I hit the name a
nd held the phone up to my ear.

  “Hey, Gage? I need to ask you a favor.”

  Chapter 24

  I put on my new red dress and stared at the direct result of not giving a shit about what everyone else thought of me. Jamie and I ended up going to Tanaz to get pampered, including a new hairstyle. I dyed my hair dark brown and had big, sexy curls. My eyebrows were perfectly threaded and my makeup was dark and sexy. I had deep red lipstick that matched my showy dress. It was a V cut that exposed my cleavage and was shorter in the front, to mid-thigh, but then was elegantly long in the back. I wore sky-high red heels. I was uncomfortable, on edge, and felt like a vixen. I barely recognized myself, and it was exactly the look I wanted.

  I called Gage and asked him to take me to the Christmas party. Gage pulling up in his loud black Chevelle would make my mother stop dead in her tracks, and she would be floored when I stepped out of the car with the high school bad boy she so desperately wanted both Heather and me to avoid.

  Jamie walked in and leaned on the door frame, watching me look myself over in the mirror. “Not bad Becca. You will catch Tyler’s eye with that.”

  I closed my eyes. “I don’t care if he notices me. I’m fed up with him and his bullshit,” I lied.

  Walking into my room she plopped on my bed. She was wearing a dark green long strapless dress with silver heels. Her caramel hair was in an intricate up-do, and she looked beautiful. “Well, he hasn’t given you any bullshit in three weeks since you have been avoiding him.”

  I rolled my eyes. Even though I yelled at him for the roses, he was still persistent about leaving them around my office. I would randomly find them throughout the day. Sometimes I would find them in my cabinets or hidden in my rolled up blueprints that I would be working on. He even was gutsy enough to leave them out in the open, like on my computer desk or office chair. No one noticed though, but then again, I worked in an office with all men who didn’t notice pretty gestures. My heart softened when I thought about how he was still making an effort. I still refused to read the sayings, but I did guiltily start collecting and saving them. I hid them in my bedroom side table. I had at least three dozen, all in different colors. All of the unread notes were put in an envelope in the same drawer.

  “Becca, don’t get me wrong… I love this new side to you, but you are being kind of hard on him. Maybe you should talk to him tonight? I think he is in love with you.”

  I closed my eyes, trying to push back the tears that were threatening to build. No matter how annoyed and how betrayed I felt by him, I just wanted to love him and have him love me back. But his words still stung.

  “I can’t be his secret, Jamie,” I whispered with closed eyes and a heavy heart.

  She stood up and put her hand and head on my shoulder, staring at me with her big brown eyes through the mirror.

  “I know you love him. I can see it on your face whenever anyone says his name.”

  I fanned my face and blew out a huge breath of air, blinking my eyes trying to rid of the tears.

  Noticing I wanted a change of subject, Jamie said, “Well, let’s go have a pre-party shot.”

  Jamie poured two shots of Jack Daniels, and we threw them both back. The call button rang as we finished another shot.

  “Oh, that must be Sean!” Jamie said excitedly.

  “I thought you weren’t going with anyone?” I asked.

  “I’m sorry, but he was free tonight… I didn’t think you would mind,” she said.

  I tilted my head at her and gave her an annoyed stare. Why was she still talking to him? Jamie quickly went to open the door for him once we heard a knock. The second she opened the door he practically attacked her.

  I rolled my eyes and threw back another shot.

  “Becca, do you want us to wait for Gage? We can all ride together,” she asked, trying to hold back Sean, who clearly didn’t even notice I was there. At least he had the decency to take a step back when he saw me. I couldn’t help from frosting my eyes at him. He was cheating on his wife. I didn’t care if they were separated. That piece of paper meant something, and I’m sure his wife didn’t know he was screwing around with another woman.

  “No, just go… I will see you there,” I said flatly, while pouring another shot. They both walked out the door and left me with the bottle of Jack. I had a good five shots in me by the time I heard the buzzer. I allowed access to the elevator and a knock on the door quickly followed. When I opened the door Gage was standing in a full out black tux carrying a bouquet of flowers.

  My eyes widened at his appearance. He was cleaned up and very nicely at that. His hair was a touch longer, but still very short, and he was clean shaven. His soft brown eyes were twinkling as I opened the door and then turned heated when he saw me.

  Gage looked thrown off as he stumbled over his words. “Uh, hi. These are for you...” He handed me the flowers. “Becca… wow. I never pictured you as a brunette, but I like it,” he said, cocking his head at me, looking completely stunned.

  I let out a soft smile and brought the flowers inside to put them in a vase. Gage followed me in, taking in the large surroundings. After I had gone to his house for the first time, I never liked bringing him to my house when we were younger. His house was small and modest, while mine growing up was over the top and unnecessary. The familiar feeling was creeping up on me as he looked over my expensive furnishings and décor.

  “Nice place,” he murmured, walking over to the kitchen island. He noticed the bottle of Jack and his lips quirked, his dimples making their heart stopping appearance. “Need a buzz for this special occasion?”

  “You… have no idea,” I said, while filling the vase with water and fluffing the pretty mixture of wild flowers. I placed them on the counter and walked over to him, filling the two shot glasses. He took one and we clinked glasses then poured them down our throats. Gage kept his eyes on me. I was feeling the Jack burning in my chest, and I was beginning to think nothing was going to get me through this.

  Gage put the shot glass down and took a step closer to me. “Want to play hooky?” He grinned, putting his arm around my shoulders.

  I couldn’t help but smile at him, and if my heart still wasn’t torn into a million pieces, I would have tackled him right then and there, but I couldn’t do that. My heart still belonged to Tyler, even if I was fighting every feeling in my body about it.

  “No, we have to go. Besides, I need to piss a few people off tonight, although you aren’t helping by looking so charming,” I grinned, nudging him.

  “Bs, I always leave an impression,” he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me to the door.

  ~

  His black Chevelle roared as we pulled up to the valet at the entrance to the museum. Gage was very leery of handing over his keys but eventually did and held his arm out for me to take. I was impressed; this was all very un-Gage like. Gage didn’t do flowers and dressing up.

  “Thank you again for coming to this with me,” I said, squeezing his arm tightly as we entered through the revolving doors.

  He looked down at me and shrugged his shoulders. “You know I enjoy ruffling people’s feathers.”

  I laughed at his honesty and then gulped as we entered the mass amount of elegant and sophisticated people. It was something I had grown up with and was used to, but by all means it wasn’t something I liked. I always felt like an outsider, like I didn’t belong because I didn’t look the part. Gage put on a good exterior, but I knew he was terrified inside. This was out of his comfort zone, but he was good at fooling people.

  “You do remember my mother, right?” I whispered up into his ear as we approached the table of seating charts.

  “How could I forget? Your mom loved me,” he teased.

  “Did you ever meet my dad?”

  He shook his head no. I wasn’t surprised. I never hung out with Gage on Sundays because they were dedicated to my father, and even though Gage would be at my house late at night, it didn’t mean my parents actually knew he was the
re.

  “Well, you will get to meet him tonight.”

  “So how do you want me to act? Like the boy who just wants to take you home to sleep with him? Am I supposed to be madly in love with you?”

  “Just be my friend, please,” I said, grabbing the table setting that said Becca Stine & Guest.

  I wasn’t sure how I wanted him to act. I wanted to use him to piss off my mother, to prove to Ashlynn that he would rather go home with me than her, and I wanted to make Tyler jealous. Or at least I thought I did.

  He nodded his head as we walked around the vast museum. It was beautifully lit with Christmas lights and garland. The ceiling of the main area had Christmas lights hanging around the large life size skeleton of a humpback whale. Each round table was dressed with the finest red linens and a large floral centerpiece was placed in the middle. A DJ was located at the far end of the large room next to one of the many bars. If we were to walk past the DJ and one of the large staircases that led to the second floor of the museum, there was a carousal finely lit, surrounded by glass windows that overlooked the Grand River. If we were to walk to the other side of the DJ, a very cool, detailed version of the streets of Grand Rapids from the 1890s would be displayed, filled with brick roads and antiques. Waiters meandered through the mass of mingling people holding appetizers and glasses of champagne. Soft classical music was playing along with the murmurs of beautiful people.

  Gage shook his head and smiled at his surroundings and then we walked off towards the bar.

  “I’m assuming I can’t get a three Wiseman shot, can I?” Gage sighed as we walked up to the bartender.

  “Not exactly. Can I get a gin and tonic please?” I said to the bartender.

  “Becca?” Ashlynn screeched my name as she shuffled towards me in her heels.

  I shot my eyes to the ceiling. “Can you make that a double please?”

  Gage rolled his eyes and turned the other way when he saw Ashlynn coming. “Jesus, you didn’t tell me she was going to be here,” he mumbled.

  I slumped on the bar waiting for my drink as I gave him a, I’m right there with you buddy, look.