by Tamara White
“According to this journal, yes. Now that you know our beginning I want you to read the rest of the entries. Over time, each queen has added their own. Hopefully it will help you understand us more. I’m sorry but your mother only has a brief entry. She would have written more if she stayed around. I do however, have a letter for you, from her. She sent it the day before she died.”
My heart stops. I’m not ashamed to say tears build up in my eyes at the thought. My mother and I never got to know each other, now Monique is telling me she left me a letter? Words can’t even begin to describe the emotions I’m feeling.
“Shit Monny, stop her crying. You know I can’t deal with that,” Walter says awkwardly.
Laughing I gasp out, “Monny?”
He winks my way making me appreciate that he said it just to distract me from getting emotional.
“Sorry love, I guess I didn’t think how that would make you feel. Why don’t you take this with you and the journal? Read through them, then when you’ve had some time and are ready to talk, we can. I added in some photos of your mom so you can have a look through them. I have more but these ones were important to me,” Monique says handing me an envelope stuffed with papers and pictures.
I hesitate at first wondering if they just wanted me here for this. Why else would they let me leave so soon? Should I stay? I don’t really want to, preferring to go and read my mother’s letter. I promise myself to make sure I come back but for now I want to look through it all.
“Thank you,” I say hugging Monique and Walter before leaving the room. It’s slightly awkward but it means a lot that they did this for me.
I have some time before I’m meeting the guys so I’ll make the most of it. Practically running back to my room, I don’t even realize I made it without getting lost. I close the door behind me, locking it to ensure no one disturbs me.
Safely nestled in my bed, I tip the envelopes contents into my lap smiling softly at the photos Monique included.
There’s five photos in total and they seem to be from different stages in my mom’s life. A baby photo is on the top. Mom must be 5 or 6 months old. She’s so beautiful, all chubby with ginger fluff for hair. Her eyes aren’t the same green from the photos Dad showed me, but more of a pale green, like mine are now.
The next two photos are sometime during her childhood. One she’s covered in mud, grinning widely as the person takes the picture. The other she’s wearing a bright pink dress with a grimace on her face. Guess we both don’t like dresses. It makes me smile knowing my mother and I may not have been so different after all.
The next photo, my mother must be roughly my age. It shocks me just how similar we really do look. She’s posing in a family picture with Walter and Monique. She looks so happy.
In the last photo, she’s dressed up in an evening gown surrounded by four guys. This must be all her mates. I see Tim and my dad as well as two others. She looks happy with Tim and my father standing on either side of her but the other two don’t look as happy. The one on Tim’s side looks extremely nervous more than anything. The guy beside my dad though, he looks pissed. I’m guessing that’s Luke.
There is some slight resemblance between him and Cam but this guy has some serious anger issues.
Putting all the photos to the side, I try to gather the courage to read my mother’s letter.
When I open the pages, I’m unprepared for the scent of jasmine to hit me. I’ve smelt this scent multiple times when Dad pulls stuff out that used to belong to her from our cupboards. It makes my eyes water knowing she wrote this just for me.
My dearest Danielle,
If you’re reading this, it means I’m no longer with you. I hope for your sake your father survives but if he doesn’t, I want you to know, we love you.
This may seem strange and I bet you’re wondering how I knew of my death but that requires a little explanation. I’m hoping by now you would have read the journal or at least started to. If you have, you will know what this is all about. If you haven’t gotten to it yet, you should read it before reading this letter otherwise most of what I say won’t make much sense.
When I was pregnant with you, I sought out a Seer to tell me what to expect from your pregnancy. A Seer is one of us that hasn’t developed the wolf gene which gives them some of the power that we had before being cursed. They have a separate entity inside their mind and they can go insane without shifting. Most of them are born to two strong wolves and are usually human in appearance and scent. If you haven’t started the trials yet, don’t fear you’re not a Seer. I thought you were the day you were born because you smelled human but you’re not. Of that I’m sure. You may develop similar traits based on our heritage, though that will be it.
As you get further in the journal, you’ll see that each of our descendants’ power gets stronger the further we get in our bloodline. I’m writing this the day of my death and I know this because I had a vision. Well, your father thinks it was a dream but I know what it was. The original Alpha Queen came to me. She wanted me to tell your father not to take you back until you were ready. We already knew this from what the Seer told us but Malina confirmed you will be the one destined to fix our race though you’ll have a big decision to make. It will be up to you to decide if the curse of our race needs to be corrected. The mate you choose will help you make that decision.
As much as I want to have all the answers for you, I don’t. I just pray that you find out the answers you need.
Knowing this is my last day with you, breaks my heart. You deserve to grow up being loved by both me and your father, so I can only hope that Luke gets what he wants with my death. I love you and your father more than I can tell you. If Gregory makes it, please look take care of him. He’s all you have left besides your grandparents.
The day you meet my parents, I hope they have softened and forgive me for my choices but it was stay and risk dying or hide away until we could come back.
I have one last parting piece of advice. Any mates that come forward, don’t push them away. I was so scared of more than one person caring for me that I tried as hard as I could to distance myself from each of them that I didn’t get to truly know them until the trials were almost over. If things had of been different, I would have chosen Tim, Brendan and your father. They were all kind souls who cared about me, and sometimes I wish I had of made the right choice. Maybe then, they could have all protected us from Luke and his deranged ways.
Your father is home now so I’m sorry to cut this short. There’s so much I wish to tell you but so little time. I only hope that I have made your life a little easier with this knowledge, even if it is slightly vague.
Be strong, Dani.
I love you so much,
Mom.
Why is everyone leaving me cryptic bloody answers?! I’m glad she wrote me a letter though now I’m stuck with more questions that can’t be answered. Especially with what Laura has been hinting about me picking more than one mate, my mother makes it clear I can only choose one but at the same time tells me she wishes she could choose three. How confusing is that?!
I get the curse could be considered both a curse or blessing. On the one hand, it would be a curse for those who remembered the way of life before we were wolves, but no one really knows that, except the people who’ve read the journal.
My thoughts are that having a wolf, even though I haven’t connected to mine yet, is a blessing. You’re stronger, live longer and can heal. You also get a lifelong connection to your soul. Plus, a mate who is destined to be a part of your life. There are so many things I would deem as a positive as a wolf, I just feel bad being the one responsible for the decision. It’s a major choice to make. How can I make that choice for a whole species?
Sighing, I stuff all the photos, the letter and the journal into my bedside drawer. I’ll think about this later. Right now, I have a date with the boys.
Chapter 17
“Hey Dani, you ready to watch us do some training?” Jason
asks when he sees me coming down the hallway from my room.
He was casually leaning against the wall outside his room as if he was waiting for something. Maybe he was waiting for me? Nah, he wouldn’t do that.
“Yeah, it should be good. I have a lot of energy to burn. Moving around hasn’t been the best for my energy. I haven’t been able to really train since we got here. I’m looking forward to see if I can take you down as easily as the others,” I smirk at him.
“Hmmm, are you sure that you can handle it? I’ve been training a lot longer than the others,” he says a cheeky grin in place. If he thinks that’s going to scare me, he’s wrong. Cam was easy to take out so Jason should be no problem.
“You’re on!” I grin.
“The boys won’t be out at the training area for another fifteen minutes if you want to test this out now? Though I don’t blame you if you’re scared,” he teases me, a light in his eyes that I haven’t seen before.
His confidence and playfulness are a little disarming. He seems like such a serious person so it’s nice to see this side of him.
“Alright, let’s go,” I challenge.
He laughs, grabbing my hand and running through the house until we’re outside. We follow a small path until we’re in an area that’s clearly used for training. It’s obvious because it smells of blood, sweat and tears.
They’ve cleared it of all trees and grass so it’s just all dirt. Trees surround it, making it look like a boxing ring. There’s enough room between the trees that you could sit chairs around for entertainment. I wonder if this is where they will have the fighting trial or if they have another arena somewhere else. There’s a small hutch built off to the side. I’m guessing for any supplies they need, for wounds or spare clothes maybe.
The area is huge, almost big enough for the house to be placed here. Makes the perfect place to train when you have a pack of wolves.
“First one to surrender, wins,” Jason says lunging for me.
I stumble backwards almost tripping over my feet before gaining ground and coming back swinging. He blocks me punch for punch and kicks out, trying to unsteady me. Stumbling, I fall landing on my side. Jason lunges making me roll, leaping out of the way. I sweep my leg behind his knees causing him to drop. Pouncing on him, we struggle on the ground until I end up planted firmly on top holding his hands down.
Looking down at him I see the smile on his face and know he let me win. My wolf could tell he lost the fight on purpose which was really sweet.
Staring at him, the urge to kiss him is so strong that I lean forward to do exactly that, when I hear the voices of the others. I jump up worried at being caught. I shouldn’t have let things go like this. I don’t want Jason to get the wrong idea and I don’t want the others to get jealous.
***
“Dani, you okay?”
Crap, I must have zoned out again. The boys are all running training drills and here I am just watching on the sidelines. It made my mind wander a lot more than I thought it would. Once the others arrived we all sat down to have a picnic lunch that the guys had brought with them.
It was pretty sweet that they brought lunch out here rather than having to sit around a table with the rest of the pack. Members had been dropping by the house all morning in a bid to meet me. I’m just not ready for all of that one on one. The party was easier to navigate and quicker to make an escape.
I’ve been thinking about each of the guys, trying to figure out what to do. Jason is so sweet and kind that I couldn’t bear to break his hart. Pete makes me laugh, and feel a lightness. Jonnie and Mitchell both make me feel strong, like a need to protect those around me. Nate, where do I start. He makes me feel like a flame is burning inside me, without it I would crumble to ashes. Then there’s Cam. So fierce, so loyal and one of the strongest people I have ever met. The trauma he’s endured and still he never said anything. He waited until his friends unwittingly discovered him being tortured before he said anything. That’s a strength even I don’t have.
“Yeah?” I answer unsure who exactly asked. My thoughts are still swirling around.
Cam breaks apart from the others, despite the fact that Jake and Rick are in the middle of instructing them.
When they got out here, Rick and Jake reluctantly admitted they weren’t actually my mates, explaining that Tim didn’t trust anyone else to protect me. Well, besides the boys. Not that I didn’t already know.
It worked out well though. The first trial means they face off against other enforcers. What better way for them to train for a trial than for them to fight against the enforcers in their pack.
“What’s going on? You’ve been out of it since we got here,” Cam says, plopping down beside me.
Sighing, I lean my head onto his arm. “I’m okay. Monique gave me a letter my mom wrote for me. I guess it just hit harder than I thought it would. I mean, I didn’t even know her so it shouldn’t have affected me like this. Somehow though it’s making me feel as if I’ve lost her all over again.”
“Of course it did. That’s some mind-blowing shit. What did she say?”
“Just the usual, ‘I love you, you have to save the world, look after your father.’ You know the typical thing a mother tells her daughter when she knows she’s going to die,” I tell him smiling when his jaw drops.
“Save the world?” he questions.
“Yeah it’s a long story. I’ll tell you later, okay? Now, how about I do some training?”
“What’d you have in mind?” he asks smirking
“Well I was thinking giving you all another ass whooping. Besides, I need to practice too,” I reply grinning.
Pete overhears me and calls from the practice arena, “Whoa, looks like my little firecracker wants to have some fun. Maybe you should try the enforcers first. You really do need the practice,” he grins mischievously. He knows I can take them, maybe he just wants to see me fall on my ass. Little does he know, I’m confident I can take them.
I’ve trained my whole life to be able to defend myself. After my incident with Trey and his father when I was 15, I pushed myself to the limit to make sure I can fight off multiple foes. There is no way I’ll leave myself weak enough for them to try again.
Maybe they need to see just how strong I am? They need to know I can protect myself from any threat.
“Okay then. Jake, Rick, no holding back, got it? I want the guys to see exactly what I’m capable of,” I smirk watching them hide expressions of surprise. It’s strange really, their Alpha Pair is supposed to be powerful though they all treat me as weak. Monique and Walters performance yesterday, showed they were powerful but maybe Luke and Carrie aren’t dominant enough for the packs? Maybe that’s the reason why they keep underestimating me.
“Okay then. When you want to give in, just say the word,” Rick says taking off his shirt. You’d think it would be distracting but even though he’s hot, it’s not.
“What word?” I ask, not sure what he means.
“Hairy Pineapples is the safe word,” Pete calls out chuckling, setting off the others laughter. I sigh knowing that if I have to say ‘hairy pineapples,’ I will never forget it.
“Hey. What’s up?” a voice says behind me. It’s Trey. Stephen is with him but that doesn’t stop the hairs raising on the back of my neck.
They must have heard us and decided to join us. Great. Even more of an audience. I just hope Trey stays far from me.
“Our mate,” Cam begins laying on a thick dose of sarcasm and possessiveness to the word ‘mate,’ “is going to fight these two,” he says gesturing at Jake and Rick.
“Does she know they’re enforcers?” Trey asks, obviously doubtful of my ability to beat enforcers.
Loving the encouragement from the douche. Maybe I should give him a beat down. I smile at the thought, loving the idea.
“Don’t even think about Dani,” Nate says seeing the evil grin on my face.
“Yep, she knows,” Jonnie states barging past them coming straight to me. Wh
en he reaches me, he grabs my hand leading me away from the others until we’re just out of earshot. I look at him confused as to why he wants us to go so far, when he leans in, rubbing his cheek against my own. This is a weird time to be rubbing up against each other. I’m about to tell him so when he whispers against my cheek keeping his voice so low that I strain to hear it all.
“I’m not sure what their intentions are but we’re worried why they would come to watch. They were hanging around all morning but didn’t approach until you showed up. The best thing you can do, is beat Jake and Rick as quickly as you can. Maybe if they see how strong and quick you are, they’ll back out of the next trial,” he whispers softly causing me to shiver.
I’m trying to listen, I swear I am but his voice is so calm and soothing that I want to melt into a puddle at his feet. Damn it! I really need to stop swooning!
“Don’t worry, it’ll be over in ten minutes,” I assure him.
He walks back so I can take my place opposite Jake and Rick. Now that I know they’re enforcers, I feel stupid for not realizing it sooner.
Jake is built like the boys and has tattoos running all the way up his biceps. His buzz cut hair makes him look exactly what I’d imagine someone in the human military looks like. His eyes are a deep brown colour, showing how troubled his soul is. The only downside is, I’m not attracted to him, or Rick.
Rick is just as tough and attractive but neither myself or my wolf are interested. Rick has more of a boy next door look though. Blue eyes, sandy hair, 6’5 and a wall of muscle.
Maybe subconsciously, I can tell who my mates are? That could be why I’m not attracted to the others.
Everyone backs up while Jake and Rick size me up. I can tell they’re not quite sure what to expect so I decide to take them for a run. I love sparring and I want to make sure Trey’s afraid of me.
Watching them, I wait for them to make the first move and almost miss it. They flow together and have obviously worked with each other before. Jake tries to grab me from behind, while Rick lunges at me throwing punches trying to hit me anyplace he can.