by Lexi Cross
“I can’t believe I didn’t realize it.”
“Can you give me a hint, babe? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I’ve been extra tired at night, eating more food than ever, and feeling sick in the mornings.” She shook her head. “I’m probably pregnant.”
That had woken him up. He sat up in bed in a rush and turned to face her. “Are you serious?”
“It makes sense. And it’s not like we ever bothered to use protection or stop it in any way.”
His heart raced and the excitement filled his chest. “How can we know for sure?”
“Take a pregnancy test.”
“Okay.” He nodded. “Like the ones from a convenient store or something?”
“Sure. They work just fine.”
He was out of bed in a flash. It was growing late, but most of those places were open all night.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Going to get a test.”
“Right now?”
“Right now.” He pulled up his jeans and zipped them. “I want to know, don’t you?”
“Yes, but—”
He came to the bed and kissed her before pulling on his boots. “I hope you are. I really do.”
She smiled at him as he stuck his wallet and keys in his pocket. “Could you maybe get some ice cream while you’re there?”
He turned back to her with a crooked smile. “The cravings start already?”
She shrugged one shoulder. “Chocolate.”
He’d hopped on his bike and rushed to the nearest store. With a pint of ice cream and a pregnancy test in hand, he checked out and rushed back home to her apartment. It had only been six weeks since the fire and they were still looking for the perfect house. There were a few they had their eye on, but they hadn’t decided yet, and that was before the insurance check showed up and bumped them into a higher price range.
He’d hopped up the stairs two at a time, and barely stopped to lock the door and put the ice cream in the freezer before taking the test in to her. They’d gone into the bathroom, she peed on the little stick, then they stood in the kitchen, eating ice cream from the carton while they waited. Jasper kept looking at the time on the microwave. When it hit five minutes, he hurried into the bathroom.
She didn’t have to ask what it said. From where she stood, spoon still in hand, she heard him hooting.
“Yes!” He came back to the kitchen with the test and showed it to her. “We’re going to have a baby!”
He’d grabbed her into a tight hug and kissed her.
“You’re really happy about this?” she asked, looking at him somewhat hesitantly.
“Absolutely. Aren’t you? You don’t seem too excited.”
“I am, it’s just…” She put the ice cream carton back in the freezer and set the spoon in the sink. “Let’s get back to bed.”
They went back in the bedroom, turned off the light after he’d gotten undressed again, and slipped into their bed.
“What is it?” he asked her after pulling her close.
“I’m sorry, it’s nothing. I’m very happy.”
“Well, I think it’s clear that you’re not going to win any awards for your acting skills. You seem very much not happy about this.”
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “I guess part of me is still waiting for things to fall apart. Sam had been perfect until after we got back from the honeymoon. Then, all of a sudden, he was freaking out that we weren’t unpacked and that wedding stuff was all over the place. He started to get really mean and yelled at me all the time. But it wasn’t until I told him I was pregnant that he started hitting me. I don’t know why that did it. But I remember being so excited. He came home from work and I ran to show him the test. He’d taken one look at it, handed it back to me, and asked me where dinner was. When I said it wasn’t ready yet, he slapped me across the face.”
Jasper reached up and stroked her cheek with his fingertips, then kissed her jaw.
“I know you’re nothing like that,” she said, “and you would never do that, but the fear is still there. Maybe that’s why it took me so long to admit I was pregnant. I think I’ve known for a few days, but didn’t want to admit it to myself. I was too scared.”
Jasper pulled her tighter. “It’s okay. I understand, but you have nothing to fear. I’d never raise a hand to you like that and I am truly happy to be having a baby with you. My family will be thrilled. They were already excited to get Sophia, but now a new baby? They’ll go nuts.”
She giggled and wiped her tears. “Thank you. I know you wouldn’t hurt me. I’m sorry. It’s stupid.”
“No, it’s not. You went through some really difficult times and it left a mark. We all have our scars.” He’d thought of Daniel in that moment, and a pang of pain followed by a pang of regret shot through his chest. He missed him and every time the Hawks got together, it was a reminder of all he’d done wrong or had failed to do.
But then Fiona had snuggled in close and he had let his mind drift to their future. To a new baby and all that they would have together. She would be his forever now. No matter what happened, they’d always be tied together through this little miracle.
“How should we tell Sophia?” she asked, yawning.
“We’ll need something good.”
“We can get her one of those big sister shirts.”
“Maybe a little baby doll to take care of,” he added. “She’ll be excited, right?”
“Are you kidding me? She’s been begging for a sister or brother for years. She just won’t want to wait.”
“Well, neither do I.”
They laughed together.
“Let’s go tomorrow,” he said. “You have off anyway. We can go shopping, get something for Sophia, get something for the baby. It’ll be fun.”
“Sounds good.” But her words were soft and heavy. She was exhausted.
He brushed her hair and kissed her forehead. “Sleep, my princess.”
The next day they had found a big sister shirt and a little onesie that was gray and yellow stripped, for either a boy or a girl. They’d also found a doll that looked very much like a real baby.
They’d wrapped it all up and given it to Sophia. First the doll, then the onesie. Of course, she’d thought the onesie was for the doll, but soon discovered it was far too big.
“Well, it’s not for that baby,” Fiona had said with a smile huge on her face. “You have to open this one next.”
Sophia tore out the tissue paper and pulled out the shirt. She studied the words for a while. “What does it say?”
“It says, ‘Big Sister,’” Fiona said.
Sophia looked up at them, pulled her eyebrows together and held the shirt over the doll. “This one is too big, too.”
“That’s because it’s not for your doll,” Jasper said. He took the shirt from her and held it up to her, showing that it was just the right size. “It’s for you.”
“But, I’m not a sister.”
“No, but you will be,” Fiona said.
Sophia’s eyes had grown huge. “You mean you’re having a baby?”
Fiona nodded and smiled.
“Where is it?” she asked.
“Right here.” Fiona patted her stomach. “Just like you were once. It takes a long time for the baby to grow big enough to come out and be born.”
Sophia nodded in awe. “Like a whole week?”
“A little longer than that. Nine months,” Fiona said.
Sophia looked confused by this.
“Think of it this way,” Jasper said. “You know when Christmas is, right?”
She nodded. “Long time away.”
“Well, right after Christmas, the baby will come.”
Sophia’s face fell. “Can’t the baby come sooner?”
“Sorry, honey. That’s just how long it takes.” Fiona pulled her into a hug. “But that will give us time to get a new house and make a room for the baby and for you to get read
y to be the best big sister ever.”
“I’m ready now,” she said with confidence. “If you tell the baby I’m ready, will it come sooner?”
“Maybe we can make some sort of count down,” Jasper said. “That way we can see how much longer.”
“Okay.” Sophia picked up her doll and rocked it like a baby. Then she ran off to her room and shouted, “Best big sister ever!”
They’d found their perfect house a month later, after getting the insurance check. They’d packed up Fiona’s small apartment and Jasper’s new things, and moved into the big, empty house. They’d worked quickly to fill it with furniture and to decorate. Jasper loved seeing what Fiona did with each space. He’d never lived in a house so beautiful or felt so happy in all his life. And soon after they moved in, they hired a housekeeper and he’d convinced her that it was okay to quit her job and focus on the baby and Sophia.
The new house had a nice, big basement. This would become the new Crimson Hawks headquarters. They’d been meeting in Aaron’s basement, but it wasn’t quite big enough and it was full of Christmas decorations and storage items. Now they had a permanent place.
The basement was filled with comfortable couches and chairs, a big TV so they could just hang out, and most importantly, a large portrait of Daniel on one wall. After the funeral, they’d all taken time to grieve. They’d come together to have a memorial ride and went to all of his favorite places, scattering his ashes. Angie rode along on Derrick’s bike and helped. At the end, they’d taken turns talking about him and sharing their favorite memories over a bonfire.
But it still felt empty when they all got together. Like there was clearly something missing. And he’d never tell anyone except Fiona, but sometimes, he avoided looking at the picture because it made it so much more real that he wasn’t there in person. But, they’d started to heal, slowly. They’d helped Angie go through his things and take care of all the little pieces that make up an ended life. Jasper had one of his t-shirts, one that had “Badass” across the front. He’d never wear the shirt, but when he looked in the back of his closet, it was there. A little piece of Daniel close by.
When Jasper looked at his life now, things looked so close to perfect. There was only one little tiny piece of the puzzle missing. And he was going to fix that today. He should have done it months ago, but everything hadn’t been in place until now.
“Are we all ready?” Jasper asked, watching as Fiona helped Sophia into her jacket.
Sophia nodded and clapped her hands together. “This will be so fun!”
Fiona nodded. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been for a ride.”
Jasper handed over her helmet, the one he’d bought especially for her with his new discount at the bike shop. She hadn’t used it much, but a few times they’d gone for an early morning ride.
Jasper fastened Sophia’s helmet on, also a new purchase. He helped her into the sidecar, which he’d borrowed from Rob for this special occasion. Sophia had never ridden on the bike before in any way.
Fiona popped on her helmet and climbed onto the back of the bike after Jasper did. She wrapped her arms around him, and he looked over at Sophia.
“Ready?” he asked her.
She nodded, the helmet flopping forward and back.
He started up the bike and they drove off. It was early evening. The sun was setting and the sky was pink and orange over the horizon. He took them on the most scenic roads he knew of. Then, he headed onto the highway.
He slowed down and pulled the bike over on the shoulder of the road, in a seemingly random place. He got off the bike, helped Fiona down, and got Sophia out.
“What are we doing?” Fiona asked.
She looked around at the trees, the gravel shoulder, the highway. Her face changed and she seemed to realize where they were.
“I know it’s not the most romantic location, but this is where we first met,” Jasper said.
He took the items he’d brought from his saddlebag. A thick blanket, some sandwiches and chips and sparkling grape juice. He spread out the blanket and Sophia immediately sat and looked up at him expectantly.
“Want to help me set the food out?” he asked her.
She pulled the remaining items out carelessly and set them on the blanket. Somehow, the mini bag of chips never made it to the blanket, but was opened and half devoured by the time Jasper helped Fiona sat down.
She rubbed her growing belly and picked up a sandwich. “So, this is what you were doing in the kitchen all morning.”
“Yup. I hope they’re okay.”
She took a bite of the turkey sandwich, and he took a bite of his own. He’d tried to make it like she did, but something was missing, and he hadn’t been able to figure out what. It still tasted okay, though.
“What’s different?” he asked. “What do you do that I don’t?”
She thought for a moment. “Probably the mustard. I mix Dijon and spicy.”
And he’d only used spicy. Maybe that was it.
“It’s very good, though,” she said.
After they’d eaten, he took out the bottle of sparkling grape juice. “I have a special toast to make.”
He ripped off the foil and poured the juice into three glasses. He handed one to Sophia, and one to Fiona. Sophia held up the glass, acting like she was a princess with her pinky sticking out.
“I have been living the perfect life,” Jasper said. “A new job that I enjoy, a beautiful new house, a gorgeous woman by my side, an adorable little daughter”—he gestured to Sophia—“and even another little princess on the way. But something still feels like it’s missing.”
Fiona pulled her eyebrows together and tilted her head slightly at him.
“It was this.” Jasper set down his glass and reached into his pocket. He held one ring out to Fiona and another, smaller ring out to Sophia. “I love you both. I want to continue to build our happy family together. Fiona, will you marry me? Sophia, will you let me join your family?”
Sophia looked at her mother with an amazed smile. “I get a ring, too!” She reached over and tried to grab it from Jasper, but he took her hand and slid it into place, then kissed her hand. She giggled and moved her hand back and forth to make the small pink stone glitter in the sun.
Then, he turned to Fiona and picked up her hand. “I love you so much. Since the first moment you showed up, you were like an angel to me. Come to save me from death, then from a life of loneliness. I want to keep saving each other for the rest of our lives.”
She wiped tears from her eyes and leaned forward to kiss him.
“Will you marry me?” he asked again.
She nodded and squeezed her eyes shut. He kissed her forehead and picked up her hand to slide the diamond ring on.
“It’s perfect,” she said. “It looks exactly like the one I’ve always wanted.”
“Told you,” Sophia said, taking a big gulp of her juice.
“You did?” Fiona asked.
Jasper nodded. “I asked Sophia if she knew what kind of ring you would want. She picked that one out.”
Fiona looked at Sophia with wide eyes. It had been months since they’d had that conversation. It was one day after they left Sam and before she’d met Jasper. They were in their apartment and Sophia had noticed that Fiona wasn’t wearing her engagement ring and wedding ring anymore.
“Where did your rings go, Mommy?” she asked.
“Well, those rings were from Daddy and since I’m not married to Daddy anymore, I don’t wear them.”
“Will I have rings when I get married?”
“Of course you will. There’s an engagement ring first, that’s when he asks you to marry him, then you get a wedding ring later when you get married.”
Sophia had been so entranced by this idea that they’d looked on Fiona’s phone and she’d shown her the different ring styles. She asked Sophia which one she would want if she was getting married. She chose a square diamond with channel set diamonds beside it. Then Sophia
asked which one Fiona liked. She’d pointed to a round cut ring with a halo of smaller diamonds around the edge. A ring just like the one now on her finger. How in the world had Sophia remembered that?
“Does this mean you’ll be my daddy now?” Sophia asked Jasper.
“Do you want me to be?”
“Yes.” She nodded her head enthusiastically.
“Then, I guess we’ll just be one big happy family,” he said. “Mommy, Daddy, Sophia, and Mia.”