I’m just sayin’.
SQUEAL! BARK! CRASH! YIP-YIP! BANG! GRRRR! BARK! YIP! CRASH! BANG! CRASH!
A few kids were staring at me in horror, like I was possessed! By the DRUM SECTION of a small middle school MARCHING BAND!
What were those dogs doing in there?
Chasing BOWLING BALLS?! And playing fetch with the MOP BUCKETS?!
“OW! OW! OOOOOOW!” Zoey suddenly yelled like a coyote howling at the moon. “Teacher, I had too much of that MOLD-A-RONI—er, I mean, macaroni—too! I am SOOOO sick!”
Then Chloe joined in. “MOO! QUACK-QUACK! OINK-OINK! COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!!”
Girlfriend was definitely overdoing the theatrics. She sounded like a barnyard at sunrise!
Then, for dramatic effect, I reenacted that infamous scene from that time MacKenzie threw up in French class!! . . .
CHLOE, ZOEY, AND ME, PRETENDING TO BE VERY SICK!
OMG! That’s when the entire classroom went completely nuts!
Everyone knows that puking can be contagious. It’s probably never BEEN scientifically proven, but STILL!
At least four other kids were holding their mouths and starting to look really sick too.
Only, unlike Chloe, Zoey, and ME, THOSE kids were probably REALLY going to THROW UP !!
Just one kid getting sick in class was SUPERgross!
EWW!!
But FOUR at the same time?!
Quadruple EWW!!
I definitely didn’t want to be around when THAT happened.
“OH NO!” my teacher cried, suddenly realizing the gravity of the situation. “All three of you are IMMEDIATELY excused! Now HURRY, before your lunch comes back to say hello all over my clean floor! GO! Please! Just GO!”
It was quite clear the teacher had heard about the MACKENZIE PUKE FIASCO. Because THIS lady was NOT having it in HER classroom!!
Chloe, Zoey, and I exchanged glances.
In spite of our very bad acting skills, our plan was obviously working!
“Tank you, Teacher!” I grimaced.
Then I grabbed my backpack, and the three of us staggered out of the room all queasylike.
But as soon as I closed the door, we sprinted down the hall toward the janitor’s closet like we were competing in a 100-meter dash. . . .
CHLOE, ZOEY, AND ME, RACING DOWN THE HALL TO CHECK ON THE DOGS!
FRIDAY—8:38 A.M. IN THE JANITOR’S CLOSET
As we sprinted down the hall, it felt like the janitor’s closet was two miles away.
By the time we reached it, we were pretty frantic and completely out of breath.
I cautiously opened the door, and the three of us peeked in.
OMG!
I couldn’t believe the HUGE mess those dogs had made!
It gave a whole new meaning to that popular old-school song “WHO LET THE DOGS OUT”!
But mostly, we couldn’t believe all the FUN the puppies seemed to be having.
Everything in there had been . . .
Chewed.
Gnawed.
Chipped.
Scratched.
Torn.
Tattered.
Shattered.
Shredded.
Or broken.
But thank goodness!!
The DOGS were all in one piece and doing just fine. . . .
There were mounds of powdered detergent, puddles of dirty mop water, soap suds, and shredded toilet paper everywhere! Two puppies were playing with the water hose in the mop sink.
I’m no dog whisperer, but I think Holly was totally embarrassed by her puppies’ antics.
It was hard to believe that such LITTLE puppies could make such a HUMONGOUS mess. It actually looked like they’d thrown a wild house party in there and TRASHED the place!
“It’s going to take at least an hour to clean this mess up,” Zoey groaned. “We’ll just have to come back and tackle it during lunch when we have more time.”
“Yeah, I know. But we need to get the dogs out of here first,” I muttered.
“Where else can we put them?” Chloe asked. “Mrs. Peach will be in the library all afternoon, so THAT’S not an option!”
“Guys! I have a REALLY CRAZY idea.” I grinned. “And I’m pretty sure it will probably work! Or WRECK our lives and get us EXPELLED from school.”
“Wow, sounds just perfect!” Zoey replied sarcastically, and rolled her eyes.
“Just hear me out,” I said. “Principal Winston is out of the building all day today for a meeting at the high school. Right?! Well, since he’s not in his office—”
“I know!” Chloe interrupted excitedly. “We can just SKIP SCHOOL for the rest of the day and take the dogs to MY house! Since he’s not here, he won’t know and we won’t get EXPELLED! Right?!”
“Not exactly, Chloe. Just LISTEN, okay?” I said, mildly annoyed. “We could hide the dogs in his office, and no one would EVER find them. That’s because absolutely no one would even DARE go in there without his permission. Unless they were REALLY, REALLY STUPID or something!!”
Zoey slapped her palm on her forehead. “DUH!! Am I the ONLY one who sees the IRONY here? Sheesh!”
“There’s an IRON in here?!” Chloe asked, looking around. “Where is it? Like, who would iron clothes in a janitor’s closet? Oooh! I know! The JANITOR, right?”
“Chloe! I said ‘IRONY’!” Zoey sighed.
“I know. I heard you the first time. But I still don’t see any iron,” Chloe muttered.
“Chloe! There’s NO iron! Trust me,” I said.
“I didn’t THINK so! Tell that to Zoey,” Chloe grumped.
“Come on, Zoey!” I argued. “If you have a better idea, let’s hear it.”
“Actually, I think Chloe’s really stupid idea of SKIPPING school is BETTER. And LESS risky,” she grumbled.
I just rolled my eyes at Zoey and didn’t say a word.
Finally Zoey sighed. “Nikki, if you think your plan will actually work, let’s try it! We definitely CAN’T keep the dogs in here!”
“Great!” I smiled. “Now, listen carefully, guys. My plan is VERY, VERY simple! ALL we have to do is SNEAK the dogs into Principal Winston’s office, keep them from totally TRASHING the place like they did the janitor’s closet, make sure no one accidentally discovers them, and then SNEAK back into his office at the end of the day and take them home! Like, how hard can THAT BE?!”
Chloe and Zoey just folded their arms and stared at me.
“So that’s the plan. Do you guys have any questions?” I asked happily.
“Yes, I think Chloe and I have the same question,” Zoey muttered. . . .
Okay, I wasn’t quite expecting THAT question. But hey, that’s Chloe and Zoey. You gotta LOVE ’EM!
!!
FRIDAY—8:43 A.M. IN THE SCHOOL OFFICE
Coming up with the idea to hide the dogs in Principal Winston’s office was pretty easy.
However, figuring out HOW to get the dogs into Principal Winston’s office was the hard part. So this was the MASTER PLAN!
Chloe was going to lock herself in a bathroom stall and do her very bad imitations of various barnyard animals pretend to be sick.
We’d ask the office secretary to check on Chloe because we were worried about her.
While the secretary was out of the office, Zoey and I would simply roll the dog cage into Principal Winston’s office and close his door.
Since his office was in a separate corridor from the noisy main office, it would be pretty hard to hear the dogs unless they made a huge racket.
Then, at the end of the day, we’d simply ask to retrieve our box of “library books” that had inadvertently ended up in Principal Winston’s office instead of in the library.
I knew my plan was far-fetched, ill-conceived, and very risky. But I didn’t have any other options.
Except to confess everything to my parents !
We were scoping out the office when the door opened and the secretary walked down the hall and disappeared into the teachers’ loun
ge.
We couldn’t believe our good luck !
With the office temporarily unattended, we’d have the PERFECT opportunity to sneak the dogs into the principal’s office.
We grabbed the wagon and rushed into the office, only to discover some GOOD news and some BAD news. The BAD news was that there was a student office assistant on duty !
But the GOOD news was that it was our friend MARCY !! . . .
OUR GOOD FRIEND MARCY IS THE STUDENT OFFICE ASSISTANT ON DUTY!
“What’s up, Marcy?” I said. “We have a really big favor we’d like to ask you! It’s kind of a secret!”
She stared at the wagon behind us with a puzzled look on her face. Then she read the sign and blinked in disbelief.
“OMG! I can’t believe you guys would actually do something like this! And you expect me to keep it a secret?! The entire school needs to know what you’re doing!” Marcy screeched excitedly.
It seemed really clear from her over-the-top reaction that she must have spotted a puppy peeking out from under the blanket, or a wayward tail wagging or something.
JUST GREAT! We were so BUSTED !!
Chloe, Zoey, and I went into panic mode.
“Listen, Marcy, I can explain all of this! Just give me a chance! Please!” I pleaded with her.
“When the secretary returns from her break, I’m sure she’s going to be as shocked and surprised by what you’re doing as I am! Of course she’ll inform Principal Winston the minute he gets back,” Marcy continued.
“Actually, Marcy, it looks like you’re pretty busy here. So we really should be getting back to class!” Zoey exclaimed. “Have a nice day!”
But Chloe totally lost it.
“OH NO!! Now we’re going to get EXPELLED from school and our parents are going to KILL us!!” she shrieked hysterically as she grabbed her stomach. “UGH! I think I’m going to be SICK! For real! Cock-a-doodle-doo! Moo! Oink!”
“Okay, Marcy, I won’t bother to explain what we’re trying to do! So just forget we were even here!” I said in frustration.
“No! You don’t have to explain anything. It’s quite obvious. You’re collecting book donations for the library! AGAIN! Right?! You guys are unbelievable! Our school is really lucky to have dedicated students like you so willing to give of yourselves. Principal Winston should give each of you the Student of the Year award! I’M just SO proud and honored to be your friend!” Marcy gushed.
“NOW, WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP?!”
Chloe, Zoey, and I glanced at each other and giggled nervously.
WHEW!! That was close!
I was glad Marcy had offered to help us.
But after her glowing compliments, asking her to ABUSE her position as student office assistant by helping us smuggle eight dogs into Principal Winston’s office had suddenly gotten a lot harder!
I had chosen to get involved in all of this to try to help Brandon save Holly and her puppies.
But to involve innocent people like my BFFs, and now Marcy!
I felt like a SNAKE! A dishonest, manipulative, and very DESPERATE snake!
I didn’t have a choice but to call my parents and tell them everything. BEFORE I got my friends and myself into serious trouble.
“Thanks, Marcy! So does this mean we’re NOT getting EXPELLED for sneaking Holly and her puppies into school?!” Chloe blurted out.
Zoey gave Chloe a swift kick to shut her up.
“OW! That hurt!” Chloe grumped, and shot Zoey a dirty look.
“Puppies?! Did you just say PUPPIES?!” Marcy gasped excitedly. “OMG! I LOVE puppies! I’ve been begging my parents to get one, like, FOREVER! Where are they?! Can I see them?! PLEEEEEEASE!!”
Okay, that’s when I decided NOT to call my parents and tell them about Holly and her puppies.
S-s-so what if I’m a s-s-s-sneaky s-s-s-snake !
I told Marcy all about Holly and her pups and how we were helping Brandon save them.
Then I let her have a peek at them. . . .
ME, SHOWING MARCY THE DOGS!!
Marcy didn’t seem the least bit disappointed that our library books were actually dogs.
And after hearing about our doggie dilemma, Marcy agreed that Principal Winston’s office would make the PERFECT hideout until the end of the school day !!
Especially since Principal Winston wasn’t expected to return during school hours.
“Marcy, we really appreciate you offering to help, but are you SURE you want to do this?! If we get caught, you could get detention—or worse!” I warned her.
“Well, to be honest, I’m not that worried about detention. I just don’t want to be demoted from office assistant to team uniform assistant. The sweaty guys on our wrestling team are the worst! After practice their uniforms smell like Dumpster juice and swamp gas!” she complained. “ICK!!”
“Marcy, we totally understand if you’re having second thoughts about helping us,” I said sympathetically.
“Yeah, we wouldn’t ask you to do something this crazy and risky unless it was for a really good cause,” Zoey explained.
But Chloe was no help whatsoever. She made a sad pouty face like she was about to cry.
“Marcy, just look at these cute wittle faces!” Chloe squeaked in baby talk. “Don’t you just wuv these wittle doggies! Yes, you willy do!”
Almost as if on cue, all eight dogs gave us the biggest, saddest, most angelic puppy-dog eyes EVER!
“Awwwwww!” the four of us gushed.
“Poor wittle puppies are willy, willy sad!” Chloe said glumly.
“Okay, guys! I’m in!” Marcy sniffed. “I’d have to be completely HEARTLESS to say no to those cute wittle faces. I already wuv ’em! I willy do!”
Chloe, Zoey, and I were so happy, we gave Marcy a group hug!
“Thanks, guys!” Marcy smiled. “The secretary will be coming back from her break any minute now. We need to get these dogs moved into Principal Winston’s office right away!”
I guess the fact that we were ACTUALLY about to hide eight dogs in the principal’s office must have FINALLY sunk in or something.
Because suddenly my heart started to pound. And my palms got SUPERsweaty. And my stomach started to feel very queasy for real!
I took a deep breath, nodded, and calmly said, “Okay, Marcy, let’s do this!”
But inside my head I was totally FREAKING OUT!
I wanted to run out of the office hysterically screaming. . . .
I just hope my KA-RAY-ZEE plan actually works!
!!
FRIDAY—8:57 A.M. IN THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE
Marcy cautiously turned the knob to Principal Winston’s office and . . .
CLICK!!
OMG! We nearly jumped out of our skins!
“AAAH!!” Chloe shrieked, and grabbed my arm.
Okay, so THAT was the LOUDEST doorknob click EVER!
But STILL!
There was no need for Chloe to act like she’d just seen an ax murderer or something.
“CHLOE! Let go of my arm!” I whisper-shouted.
“Sorry!” she muttered. “I’m just a little jumpy, okay?”
The four of us nervously tiptoed into the dark office, wheeling the dog cage behind us.
For some reason, it felt really creepy in there.
Like at any second some nightmarish creature was going to crawl out of the shadows, grab us with its long, bony claws, and do something really HORRIBLE to us!
You know, like . . .
ENROLL US IN SUMMER SCHOOL!!
EEEEEEEEEK !!!
Marcy stopped in the middle of the room. “SHHHHH!! Do you guys hear that sound?!”
I definitely heard it!
KNOCK-KNOCK!
KNOCK-KNOCK!
“OH NO!” Zoey gasped. “I think someone is knocking on the door! We’re DOOMED!”
“That’s not the door! It’s Chloe’s KNEES!!” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Hey, I already told you I was a little jumpy!” Chloe snarked. “This pl
ace feels like a haunted house or something! Does anyone have a flashlight?”
“That’s it! I can’t handle this!” Marcy cried. “I’m going to do what I should’ve done in the beginning!”
She turned and headed straight for the door.
I could NOT believe she would just panic and abandon us like that.
“Wait, Marcy! Come back!” I whisper-shouted.
“Well, it looks like she’d rather smell funky wrestler uniforms than hang out with us puppy smugglers!” Chloe grumbled. “TRAITOR!”
CHLOE, ZOEY, AND I FREAK OUT AS MARCY HEADS FOR THE DOOR!
When Marcy reached the door, she stopped.
Then she hit a switch on the wall, and bright lights flooded the room.
Chloe, Zoey, and I blinked in surprise.
“There! Isn’t this a lot better?” Marcy said as she opened the curtains on a window. “I don’t know about you guys, but the darkness was giving me SERIOUS goose bumps!”
Chloe’s fright subsided as we looked around.
The office was a lot less Temple of Doom–looking with the lights on.
Actually, it was kind of on the boring side.
Cheesy-looking certificates hung on the walls, a bookcase was filled with dusty books, and a clock sat next to a framed family photo. A big candy jar sat on his desk along with stacks of papers.
I couldn’t help but shudder. Hopefully, today was the FIRST and the LAST time I’d be hanging out in the principal’s office.
I folded the doggie blanket and placed it in the wagon.
All the dogs had cuddled together and were about to take their midmorning nap.
“I think they’re still exhausted from that big party they had in the janitor’s closet. So they’ll probably just sleep the rest of the day. You won’t even know they’re here,” I assured Marcy.
“Great! I’ll come back to check on them every hour between classes. And if there’s a problem, I’ll text you, Nikki,” Marcy explained. “Otherwise, just meet me here after school to pick them up.”
“Thanks, Marcy! You’re a lifesaver!” I said.
Dork Diaries Book 10: Tales From a Not-So-Perfect Pet Sitter Page 6