She pulled her hand away. “Well, what did you mean?”
“I’m delivering our annual budget to the Royal Council in a few days, where I’ll also need to announce the state of our economy, which includes this debt. I’m going to have to give a fairly conservative austerity budget; a lot of people will lose their jobs, including you.”
When she didn’t speak, he buried his hands in his hair and spoke almost desperately. “I’ve been trying for days, weeks to uncover the truth, to find another way out. I just don’t know what else to do. I don’t know how else to help. I knew I’d be useless at this job, but I never thought others would lose their job because of that.”
“Nate.” She placed her slim hand on his shoulder. “It’s not your fault. You said someone stole it, right? How does that make it your fault?”
His face was covered in despair when he faced her. He couldn’t show it to his father or brothers; but somehow it felt right to show it to her. “But your job. All those jobs. Loss of social services and God knows what else. Vallerians will suffer for it.”
She shifted closer to him, and he saw worry, not pity, on her face. “Vallerians are pretty tough, from what I’ve seen. Besides, I’ve been through tough times before, and I’ll survive more if they come. Don’t worry about me.”
He put an arm around her, pulling her close. She didn’t pull away, but instead ran her hand through his hair. He reveled in her warmth and comfort, and looked her straight in the eye as he spoke. “I can’t help worrying about you. I don’t know what brought you to Valleria, or to me. I don’t know why I feel like someone punched me in the gut every time I see you or think about you. I don’t know why the way you’re running a hand through my hair makes me feel like everything’s going to be okay. It just does. I need you, Charlotte. God, how I need you.”
He kissed her, his warm lips easily chasing the chill of hers away. He delved deeper, drawing the kiss out like the long, autumn night surrounding them. Wisps of their breath caught in the nippy air before dissipating, the only sounds their breathing and soft sighs. Eventually, he pulled his lips away. He laid them back down on the blanket so they were facing each other. and buried his face in the long line of her neck. He brought the blanket over them again, and nuzzled behind her ear, breathing her in.
“Nate.”
“Hmm?”
“I’m not sure what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything,” he whispered. “If you want to go back to the palace, I’ll take you back. I’ll understand.”
“Understand what?”
“I’ll understand if you don’t want to see me anymore.” He rested his forehead against hers. “I wish I could change things for you, and your job.”
“I met your mother today.”
Nate blinked and pulled back. “Come again?” Of all the things he expected to hear from a woman in his arms, it certainly wasn’t that. Though, that was one of the reasons he liked Charlotte so much; she wasn’t like anyone he’d ever met before.
Charlotte huffed a husky laugh. “I met the Queen. She was with Coco, and they were discussing the state dinner. Anyway, Coco summoned me during their meeting and basically told the Queen that she’s retiring and nominated me as her replacement.”
Nate’s mouth dropped open. “Coco’s retiring? Well, that is a surprise. If Coco recommended you, however, my mother is sure to take that seriously; she trusts Coco, we all do.” His eyes widened and he brought her even closer against him; he could feel the slight curves of her breasts against his chest, even through the layers they wore. “Your job would be safe. If you take over for Coco, you won’t have to worry about losing your job.”
“You’re right about that. But I would have to worry about getting involved with a prince.”
Nate let out a long breath. “I see.”
“We don’t make sense. It’s easier if we just accept it now. I can’t give up my job. I know it’s not as important as running a country–”
Nate put his warm fingers over her cool lips. “Stop right there. Your job is important. You make people happy, Charlotte. All I do is make them miserable. It’s not a contest, but your job is much more important, and you’re a hell of a lot more talented at yours than I am at mine.”
“Why do you say that? I have to say, you always seem so cocky and full of yourself when I see you on the news or in the papers. You’re almost a different person now.”
“I am a different person.” Who wouldn’t be when faced with fixing a debilitating economy that could have global ramifications? “You’ve heard of my past.”
She nodded. “You like women.”
He sighed. “It’s true that I’ve been seen with a lot of women in the last ten years. I drive fast cars, I’ve known frequent clubs late into the night. I’ve got more than a few tattoos, which just solidifies that image, but I’ve given all of that up. Well, not the tattoos – I love those – and maybe not the driving,” he ended with a smile.
“Why did you give it up?”
“I’ll tell you someday. I’m not hiding it, I just don’t think it’s the right time to discuss it.”
“Well, then who’s the real you? Have you really given all that up? Or is this all a lie? Who are you, Prince Nathaniel?”
“Right now, I’m just ‘Nate’, the lucky son of a bitch who gets to hold you in his arms.”
“And what about tomorrow? Or the next day?” She tried to push away but he wouldn’t let her leave the warmth of his arms. “You’re only pursuing me because I turned you down. You’ll find someone else, someone more appropriate. You’ll be fine. I’ll have my job and I’ll be fine.”
“Aren’t you two people, too?”
“What do you mean?”
“In my arms, in my dreams, you’re ‘Charlotte’. In the kitchen, you’re ‘Charlie’. Aren’t you one person at work and another on your own, just like me? And, just like me, aren’t you really the same person underneath it all anyway? You’re bold, brash, and incredibly talented.” He kissed her lips gently. “You’re beautiful and soft, but oh, so tough. What if you’re exactly what I’ve been looking for?”
***
Charlie couldn’t think with Nate’s wide, full lips against hers; who could? She felt beautiful and lusted for, desired for more than just her talent with a whisk. She wasn’t naïve; no one with her background could be. The two of them couldn’t last. They wouldn’t last, but the Prince – no, Nate – seemed to think that they might have a chance.
“I’m not what you’re looking for.”
He snuggled her closer, despite her efforts to prevent it, and damn it if she didn’t like to be snuggled against him in the first place. “We’ll never know unless we take a chance and find out.”
She sighed in exasperation. It was time to be blunt, prince or no. “Don’t you get it? We’re in different leagues. The way I grew up, it could never work out. People like you don’t end up with people like me.”
His eyes narrowed and he shifted their bodies, so he now loomed over hers, blocking out even the moonlight. “What do you mean? Why are putting yourself down?”
She bristled underneath him. “I didn’t mean anything by it, and you, well, you’re a womanizer. You can’t just suddenly decide you want to be exclusive with me.”
“You’re right.”
“I am?” Her breath caught despite herself as an ache settled inside. She didn’t expect to be right. No, that wasn’t true; she hoped she wasn’t right.
“Yes, but you’re wrong, too. I was a womanizer but, like I said, I never treated any of them with disrespect. A royal son – heir or no – cannot afford to be cruel.” He brushed her still damp hair away from her face; she thought the sizzling heat of his hand might have even dried the strands. “Shall I tell you about the first time I tasted you?”
She blinked. “You mean the kiss in my room last night?”
His lips barely brushed hers. “No. It was long before that.”
“I don’t understand. We�
��ve never kissed before then.”
“The first time I tasted you, Charlotte, was through your double chocolate espresso truffle pie.”
She opened her mouth to speak, then shut it just as quickly. Finally, she managed to eek out, “Pie?”
A sinful smile slid over his face as his lips began to kiss her cheek and neck. “Oh, yes,” he whispered against her skin. “You asked once how I knew you had baked something I’d tasted. I knew you since that first bite of incredibly rich chocolate, even if I hadn’t met you yet.”
“That’s crazy.”
“I inhaled that piece of pie. It tasted so different, so rich and masterful. It was full of passion and delicate flavors all mixed together. At the end, I scraped my plate and licked my fork, just like this.” His sharp tongue abraded the delicate, salty skin of her neck, and she shuddered.
“There are people who bake and then there’s people with a gift. You have a gift, Charlotte. There’s just so much more to your dishes. I can always tell when it’s you I’m tasting.”
Her hands reached up to fist his hair, pulling it away from his face. “Are you serious?”
“Deadly,” he said, his staid face indicating the truth of his words. “I never joke about chocolate. It’s one of the only vices I still have.”
“That’s why you sought me out? Chocolate?”
“At first, I just wanted to compliment the chef who’d made it. Coco never thought anything of it; we’ve all been sneaking into her kitchen for years. I certainly didn’t expect to find a woman like you behind the pie.”
“That’s kind of sexist.”
He shook his head. “I don’t mean it like that. It’s not that I don’t believe a woman could have made it. It’s that I wasn’t expecting you. I thought I’d find another wizened chef like Coco, who’d clearly been doing it for years. Instead, I found a talented, beautiful woman who clearly wanted nothing to do with me.”
Her heart fell a little. “So you are here because I said ‘no’ to you. I was right.” When she tried to push away, he held her still against him.
“No, Charlotte. I’m not here because I like the chase. I’m here because I like you. I want to know more about you. How did you get into baking? Why did you come to Valleria? I kept pestering you because I wanted to know more, but you hide yourself away. The only time I truly see you is in your desserts. Even tonight you’re holding back from me.”
She couldn’t deny the truth in his words. She did put everything she had into her desserts; it was the only time she didn’t hold part of herself back. It was the only time she let her past live with her present. “It’s not easy for me to talk about myself, or my past.” She shrugged. “I never really had a reason to.”
“You may not have had a reason before, Charlotte, but you do now.” Nate pulled away and she felt an icy breeze wash over her. She had to hold back the urge to pull him back down to her again. “Let’s have a bite to eat and we can talk.”
Charlie sat up while Nate began to pull out items from the basket. A container filled with large foil-wrapped sandwiches came first. As she unwrapped hers, she smiled, taking in the French onion soup grilled cheese sandwich.
“Who put the basket together for you?”
“I’m not sure. I’m just glad it wasn’t you. I ordered it from my apartment – do you know who might have filled the order?”
Charlie let the flavors of the crisp, buttered bread dance across her tongue and mix with the sweetness of the caramelized onions – it was heaven on cold night. “I’m not sure. There are only a few of us designated staff who address any requests from the Royal Wing, as we’ve got the extra security clearance for it.”
Nate swallowed his bite of sandwich with wide eyes. “Extra security clearance? Just to serve us food?”
Charlie nodded while she finished off a bite of her own sandwich. “You’re a royal. It makes sense to have a higher clearance to deal with your food.”
“Not to me. I’ll never be king.”
“There’s still a chance for it.”
“Not a very good one, and let’s all be thankful for that.” He took another bite of his sandwich. “You know, I never would have thought French onion soup would make a good sandwich, but this tastes amazing.”
Charlie couldn’t help the smile that brushed her face. “It was kind of my idea.”
“Was it?”
“Yes. I used to have it back in America and, after I started here, I suggested some of the other kitchen staff try it. They were pleasantly surprised, too.”
“What else did you bring here from America?” he murmured.
With her face intent on the sandwich, she said, “A lot of things, and I’m not just talking about tangible items.”
When he nodded his understanding, she gazed down at her food once more. Since she wasn’t sure where to start, food seemed to be the easiest way to begin. “Grilled cheese sandwiches – which this sort of is – were one of the first things I learned how to make.”
“How old were you?”
“Not very old. I wasn’t taller than the stove, I remember that much. I used the broiler to make them, since that was situated at the bottom of the stove and I could reach the knob to turn it on.”
Nate’s forehead furrowed. “Why were you cooking at such a young age? Were your parents helping you?”
Moment of truth. “I don’t have any parents.”
“What happened to them?”
Charlie shrugged, her body tensing at just the thought of them. “I don’t really remember them. They left me when I was young, from what I was told. Your guess is as good as mine as to where they are. I stopped looking a long time ago.” She hadn’t cried over the fact her parents had left her in many years, not since she had started working full-time to becoming a chef. The fact was that she just wasn’t good enough for them, and nothing she did now would change that fact.
Nate put down his bowl. “Then who took care of you?”
Charlie put down her bowl of half-finished soup. “After I was found, I got put into foster care. From there, I pretty much took care of myself.”
“What do you mean, after you were found?”
She still hadn’t looked at him, couldn’t just yet. “The cops stormed the apartment I was in and found me. Apparently, my parents were involved in some sort of scheme involving prescription drugs, selling poor quality versions at high-quality prices. I think someone ended up dying and the police came after them for it. I never bothered to learn the details. Anyway, they must have decided it wasn’t worth the trouble to take me with them when they ran away.”
His fingers came into view and a moment later he had tipped her chin up towards him. His face was fierce, his tone adamant when he spoke; in that moment she saw the enigmatic prince known to the world. “Anyone who thought that, well, they’re the ones who aren’t worth anything. They saved you by leaving you behind. No one, no child deserves what you went through.”
Her skin flushed at the simple defense and her eyes blinked as tears bloomed behind them. She didn’t cry anymore, hadn’t cried for years; she definitely wouldn’t start now. “Thank you,” she said in a thick voice, and cleared her throat. “It wasn’t all bad.”
His fingers skimmed down her pale throat before they fell away. “What was good?”
“Miss Lola.”
“Who was she?”
“She was one of my foster mothers. She’d never been married, and she told me once they’d almost rejected her as a foster mother because of it. They only changed their mind when they realized there was a need for women-only foster homes.”
Nate pulled a thermos out of the basket and began to unscrew the top. “What for?”
“For girls who had been abused or, um, mistreated in any way.”
His fingers stilled on the thermos. “Were you ‘mistreated’ like that?”
She shook her head. “No, not me, but Miss Lola had an opening for another child and it was my turn to be placed. She saved my life,” she ended
softly.
Nate handed her a cup of steaming hot chocolate, then poured one for himself. “Figuratively or literally?”
“Both, really. She ran a catering business from her house and the kids she had always helped out. She taught me to cook and bake. She saved me from hurting myself more than once in the kitchen, too. She kept me until the state told her she couldn’t anymore, and that’s when I went off to culinary school, which she helped pay for, at least for the first year. She was a wonderful woman.”
“Was?”
She cleared her throat. “She died in an accident, about a year after I left.”
He reached over and took her hand. “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how difficult losing her must have been for you.”
Charlotte & Nate (Royals of Valleria #4) Page 10