Lynn smiled. “Maybe. I’m afraid I haven’t much experience with what teenagers are like. I missed out on it myself.” Her face became pensive. “I was twelve when I was tested in the temple and they found I had enough of the healer sense to be an Imprinter. I never saw my parents again. I missed them so much. I spent years dreaming of what it would be like to still live with them. It never occurred to me that if I had the option, I might have been spending all my time out with my friends. Ardis is starting to make me feel superfluous, but I suppose I can comfort myself that she’d miss me if I weren’t here.”
Natasha mumbled a reply and left the house. She had the dangerous temptation to run after Ardis and tell her to make the most of both her mothers while she had the chance. Natasha remembered her own adolescence. Of course, she would not have missed her own mother, but it was hardly a fair comparison. Lynn was not a vicious, self-centered alcoholic.
Natasha closed her eyes briefly. She must have faith in the Goddess. It might not seem fair to her, but she had to believe that Celaeno oversaw everything, and in the end, everyone would be treated as they deserved. Not my will, but yours, she repeated in her head.
Rohanna was waiting in their room when she returned. Natasha held out the stolen map and her dagger; then she stood back to watch while Rohanna opened their secret cache. The hidden compartment in the base of the box bed was a work of craftsmanship—all the more so since it had been constructed within the framework of what was already there. One of the slats had been loosened and then refitted with two internal catches. From the outside, there was no trace of the locks, and the plank felt as firm as its neighbors. To open it, two daggers had to be inserted at the correct points along the join. Already, several items were stored inside, and they still had more than a month to go before Cal expected the journey through the wilderness to be feasible.
“Will we copy the map and return it?” Natasha asked.
“No. If they notice that it’s gone, they’ll simply think it’s been misplaced. If it makes an unexpected reappearance, they’ll know something is up.” Rohanna smiled. “You’ve done well.”
Yes. I’ve stolen from someone who trusts me, Natasha wanted to say. I’ve been a liar. Now I’m a thief. Soon, I’ll be a murderer. And all I ever wanted to be was a soldier.
Chapter Thirteen—Around the Kiln
The daylight was fading fast as Natasha walked up the hill toward the woods. The mountain peaks were reduced to dark, jagged shapes against the pale blue sky. Bare tree trunks stood in stark contrast to the white snow. The kiln had been built in a clearing a short way into the forest. As she spotted the brighter patch ahead, Natasha caught the first faint scent of wood smoke on the wind. A few more steps, and she stopped at the edge of the open space to study the scene.
The kiln was in the center of the clearing, an earth-covered dome slightly less tall than Natasha at its apex. A pit had been dug close by on either side, and twin columns of smoke were rising from them, with a third issuing from a hole in the middle of the kiln. Heat had melted most of the snow away, and what remained around the edges had been trampled into slush. A huge pile of chopped wood was stacked under the trees.
Two of Dani’s friends were present. Madra stood by the woodpile with an ax in her hands, while her partner, Jenny, was peering into one of the fire pits. Both women were of middling height, with soft, plump outlines and identical raucous laughs. They shared farming rights on the east side of town. Natasha still had a tendency to get them confused. Dani was stalking back and forth around the kiln in a manner reminiscent of the sheepdogs.
“Are you frightened it’ll make a bolt for the woods?” Natasha called.
Dani trotted over to her, smiling. “What?”
“Never mind.” It was not worth explaining.
Dani half opened her mouth to protest, but then shrugged and said, “Lynn gave you tomorrow morning off?”
“Sort of. I had to put in some extra time today.”
“You’ve done a double shift to get some time free and then volunteered for this?” Madra shouted in mock disbelief.
“Ignore her. It’s fun.” Dani grabbed Natasha’s hand and pulled her forward. “I started the fires this morning, just a gentle drying, but you’ve arrived at the right time. We’re about to get serious.”
They reached the side of the kiln and Natasha looked down into the fire pits. They were, in fact, the two ends of a shallow trench, running under the curved walls of the kiln. The convection draft was gently drawing smoke along the tunnels. Natasha leaned against the side of the kiln and craned her neck to peer in through the circular hole at the top. Despite the smoke and rippling currents of heat, she could make out the shapes of pots and bowls carefully packed inside. The earthen side of the kiln was warm against her hands.
“Right,” Dani said, patting Natasha on the back to get her attention. “The whole trick is to build the heat slowly. I need to be sure the pots dry out thoroughly before it gets too hot. Else, the expanding water vapor will make them explode, and I’ll cry. So...” She smiled at her helpers. “Let’s toss on a few extra logs and get stoking.”
Control of the temperature was achieved by the size of the fires and their closeness to the entrances of the tunnels. Initially, the work consisted mainly of throwing on more wood. Dani darted from side to side, giving instructions and using a long-handled rake to adjust the position of the burning logs. Often, she stopped and stretched her hand over the central vent to judge the temperature inside.
After about an hour, there was one sharp retort from the kiln. Dani swore and froze.
“Was that a pot exploding?” Jenny asked.
Dani’s agitated nod looked more like a nervous twitch.
“What do you want us to do?” Jenny asked.
Dani flapped her arms, swore again, and then gestured for them to continue.
Slowly, the fires were edged closer to the tunnel entrances, and the airflow through the kiln began to increase. The draft over the wood made it burn ever more furiously. By the time the fires stood under the walls of the kiln, the flames were roaring, the wood blazed white-hot, and the work had become frenetic. A luminescent red light shone from the center hole. They used rakes to push more wood into the fires and pull out the spent remains. The trench filled with gray ash and red embers. The heat above it was intense. Natasha had damp rags wrapped around her arms for protection when she bent low over the opening.
“How are you doing?” Dani asked during a brief lull in the activity.
“I think I’ve cooked my hands,” Natasha replied.
“Oh...if I knew you were going to do that, I wouldn’t have bothered bringing the kebabs.”
“You’ve got food?”
Dani laughed. “Later. You haven’t got time now.”
Natasha wiped the sweat from her eyes and looked up. Laurel was directly overhead, midnight long past. She had no idea that the hours had been passing so quickly, but there was no opportunity to stand and stare. The fires now burned so hot that the wood seemed to crackle and disintegrate the second it landed. Sparks were flying from the center of the kiln, rising up into the dark sky, and dancing between the stars. Time passed in raking, stoking, and rushing around with armfuls of wood. But Dani was right; it was fun. Laugher and jokes flew among them.
The dull red glow from the inside of the kiln grew lighter and brighter. Dani climbed a nearby tree so she could look down into its heart and judge the color.
“Are we there?” Madra called up.
“Nearly.”
“Just as well. The wood is going down.”
Dani jumped to the ground. “One last push. Let’s go for it.”
The four set to work with renewed frenzy until at last, Dani called a halt, and they all collapsed around the fire at one end. Laurel had dropped to the treetops, and the night was nearly gone. Dani brought out the promised kebabs and positioned them over the trench. With the heat, they would be cooked in minutes.
Madra uncorked a flagon
and looked at it affectionately. “Of course, this is the only reason I came here, you know.” She took a deep swig and sighed with contentment.
The flagon made its rounds. Natasha took her share. Its contents were strong enough to cause a pleasant warmth inside. The food, when it was cooked, tasted wonderful. In the light from the fire, she could see the others’ faces covered in soot. She guessed that her own looked the same.
“When do you get the pots out?” she asked.
“In a few days, after the kiln cools down.”
“Is there much else to do at the moment?”
“A bit of tidying up. I can take care of it, if you want to go,” Dani answered.
The conversation went on for a little longer, but now that the action was finished, tiredness was creeping over them, and the other two women declared their intention to seek their bed for a few hours’ sleep. Dani let them go with words of thanks.
“You can go as well. I’ll be all right,” Dani said to Natasha, but her tone and manner did not give the impression that she wanted Natasha to leave.
“I’ll stay a bit longer.”
Dani smiled and made no further attempt to persuade her. The final few jobs did not take long, and they again settled in the warmth radiating from the sides of the kiln, sharing the last of the flagon. Natasha felt filthy, exhausted, and completely at peace with the world.
“So you’ve finally spent a dirty, sweaty night with me. It wasn’t so bad, was it?” Dani’s voice was teasing.
“I’ve had worse.”
In the silence, Natasha could hear faint clinks from the cooling kiln and the rush of the breeze over the treetops. The stars glittered undimmed, although dawn was less than an hour away.
“You know I really want you.” The teasing had left Dani’s voice.
“I...”
“And I think you want me.” Dani’s voice was gentle. “It’s okay. You’re quite safe to talk. I’m too shattered to take advantage of you at the moment.”
Natasha hung her head. Of course, Dani could see how she felt. Despite the tiredness, Natasha could feel her whole body responding to Dani’s closeness, aching with a desire she had sworn she would not give in to. She would be the one taking advantage—advantage of Dani’s ignorance of the truth. Dani hated all Guards with a passionate intensity. Once she learned what Natasha was, Dani would hate her as well—quite justifiably. Since accepting the mission, Natasha had lied and cheated and stolen. When the truth came out, would Dani recognize in her self-denial the one shred of honor Natasha had been able to cling to? Would Dani be relieved that she had not been tricked into taking her sworn enemy as a lover? Or would Dani feel regret that they had not shared what they could, in innocence on her part? Even with a Guard? There was no way Natasha could ask her. Not until it was too late.
“That woman you left behind must have been quite something,” Dani said softly.
“Why do you hate Guards so much?” Between tiredness and drink, Natasha no longer cared about the wisdom of the question.
“Can I take that as a subtle change in subject?”
“I want to know.”
There was no reply. Natasha turned her head and saw Dani staring over the treetops, her face impassive. But just when Natasha thought she was not going to get an answer, Dani looked back. “Because of my family.”
“Were they killed by Guards?”
“Yes. You want to hear the whole story?”
“Not if you don’t want to tell it.”
Dani’s gaze slipped to the ground beyond her feet. The muscles in her jaw twitched. Neither spoke until Dani at last sucked in a deep breath. “Oh...why not?” She drew up her legs and rested her chin on her knees, still staring at the ground. “It starts okay. My birth mother was a cloner; my gene mother was a potter. I didn’t have enough of the healer sense to induce cloning, so...” She vaguely indicated the kiln behind her.
“I was eight before my parents had saved enough money for another payment of imprinting fees. Their finances can’t have been good. I’m not sure why. I was too young to be involved in the money. All I can remember is being excited that I was finally going to have a sister.
“We lived in a small village. I went with my parents to the temple in the nearest town. I don’t think I’d ever been outside the village before. I can vaguely remember the imprinting chapel and my gene mother lying on the altar. And us coming out, and being told my sister would be with us in nine months. And then we all went home. We used to live over my gene mother’s shop. It was only a few nights after we got back that the place caught fire.” Dani broke off, her face strained.
“You don’t have to tell me if you’d rather not,” Natasha said. She did not know where the story was going, but she felt rising alarm at Dani’s evident distress.
“No. I’ve started now.” Dani took a deep breath, gathering herself. “My gene mother got badly burned. My birth mother had enough of the healer gift to save her life, but not the life of my sister inside her. The miscarriage was days into the pregnancy. My parents lost everything in the fire. They could borrow enough to set them on their feet again, but it would take years to repay the debt and save for more imprinting fees, and they weren’t young. There was no telling if they’d get another chance. So they decided to clone my gene mother.”
Pain had been underlying Dani’s voice; now it began to rip through. “They must have thought they could get away with it. They had the imprinting certificate. My sister would seem a little overdue, but not much, especially if my birth mother used the healer sense to induce an early labor. And my gene mother’s face had been so disfigured in the fire, they probably thought no one would notice the resemblance. Of course, they didn’t discuss it with me. I can just remember them being frightened and talking quietly. I thought they were worried because my gene mother had been so badly hurt.
“They borrowed money for a new shop, and we moved to Eastford. As a child, I didn’t think anything of it, but obviously, they wanted to go where no one would remember what my gene mother had looked like.”
Natasha had been listening with a shocked expression on her face. She could not help it. “Your sister—” She bit off her words.
Dani turned to face her, tears in her eyes. “Are you going to tell me my sister had no soul?”
Natasha could not speak.
“I’d challenge anyone to have taken my sister and three other girls the same age, stood them in a row, and said which one didn’t have a soul. My gene mother made a set of clay farm animals. I can close my eyes and see my sister sitting on the floor in our home, the same age as Becky, pushing them around and giggling. I remember her trotting after me, calling my name. I remember having lessons on the potter’s wheel and how she’d creep up behind me and tickle my ribs. Her name was Ellen.”
Dani faced away again and looked out at the trees. After a while, she calmed down and went on. “My gene mother’s face had been scarred so badly...” She shrugged. “They never told us how they came to suspect. I remember the morning they came for us. I was a few days short of fifteen. We’d finished breakfast, about to open the shop, and there was a noise outside. I was sitting beside Ellen. I looked up just as the Guards kicked the door in. They took us to the temple to be tested...all of us, me included.
“I was frightened and confused. I didn’t have a clue what it was about. Of course, my parents knew, and I saw their faces and knew something terrible was going to happen. I was so surprised when an Imprinter in blue arrived. She touched us all in turn, and when she got to Ellen...that’s when all hell let loose.”
Dani broke off, distracted. “Is there any more drink left?” She shook the empty flagon.
Natasha could tell it was an excuse while Dani gathered herself to continue. She felt she ought to say or do something, but maybe letting Dani take her own time was the most support she could give.
Dani put the empty flagon down and wrapped her hands around the neck. Her eyes were unfocused, staring at scenes long past.
“They held a trial in the temple. They declared my sister an abomination. They said she was an animal. She was only six. When she started crying, one of the Guards knocked her to the floor. They didn’t want an animal disturbing their solemn temple procedures.
“Afterward, they took us outside into the main town square. I was dragged along...I’m not sure why. I hadn’t been accused of anything, let alone found guilty. Perhaps they thought watching would be good for my soul...seeing that I had one.”
Tears were now running down Dani’s face. “The Guards slit Ellen’s throat with a butcher knife. They actually sent to a butcher to make sure they got the genuine article. Ellen was calling, ‘Mommy!’ Then she screamed. Then she was quiet.
“They burned her body on a fire. My birth mother had broken the most sacred rule for a cloner, so they hanged her after they’d finished with my sister. And my gene mother had allowed her body to be defiled, so she was flogged unconscious, doused with water to revive her, and flogged again.
“I saw it all. Two Guards had hold of my shoulders, keeping me at the front of the crowd so I’d have a good view. And do you know what I saw that hurt the most?”
Natasha could not speak.
“The Guard who cut my sister’s throat walked away laughing and swaggering, as if she’d done something funny. And all the time, the Sisters were singing hymns to the Goddess.
“When it was over, all the Sisters trotted back into the temple, and the Guards let me go. My birth mother’s body was dragged off to a criminal’s grave, my sister’s ashes were thrown on the town midden heap, but they left me to deal with my gene mother.
“Somehow, I got her home on my own. I was so relieved to get through the door, I wasn’t even upset when I saw that Guards had wrecked the shop. There wasn’t anything to eat, no money...everything was smashed. I tried to get a healer, but the Guards threatened anyone who helped us. So I used what skill I had, but it wasn’t enough.
“For ten days, I nursed her alone until she died as well, the day after my fifteenth birthday. I buried her beside my birth mother...at least they were together. My sister’s ashes...” Dani shrugged and wiped her eyes.
The Walls of Westernfort Page 17