Obviously Vance had given him treats or pets because Boo was a fuck of a lot more calm than me.
I stared at my cat for a beat.
Then I screeched, “Crowe! ”
I was standing and hyperventilating in my kitchen when Vance walked in. He took one look at me and came to a dead halt.
“I, you… we… oh my God,” I said.
“Jesus, Jules. Are you al right?”
I shook my head then I nodded it then I shook it again.
He started toward me. I took a step back and he stopped again, this time his brows came together. “You’re not gonna try and break up with me again, are you?” This time I just shook my head.
His eyes narrowed under knitted brows. “Is Tex okay?” I nodded.
“Are you okay?”
I shook my head.
He came forward again and I didn’t retreat. “Are you hurt?”
“I just met Hector Chavez,” I announced.
Vance stopped again, in my space. I saw his eyes flash.
“What the fuck?” he murmured.
“Just now, he and a couple of his buddies fenced me and Hazel in, in the al ey. He yanked me out of the car, warned me off the street. Told me Shard, Jermaine and Clarence were going to hurt me no matter what protection you’re offering.”
This didn’t make Vance look happy. “He say anything else?”
“Nothing I care repeating. Not on that subject anyway. He did say if I told anyone about our chat, I’d blow his cover which means he wouldn’t be breathing anymore… or something like that.”
Vance stared at me then he muttered, “Christ.” I wasn’t sure exactly what I was feeling but I thought it might be fear.
A lot of fear.
I wasn’t going to admit to that out loud so I just took a deep breath to try and control it. That didn’t work so I leaned forward, head down, and col ided with Crowe, forehead to his shoulder.
He took my weight without a word, his arms coming around me.
around me.
“You gotta get off the street,” he said softly.
“If I do, they win,” I said just as softly even though I agreed with him.
Vance didn’t respond.
I didn’t want to play the games Shard, Clarence and Jermaine had planned for me. I knew I’d be disappointing Tex but if something happened to me, who’d take care of Roam and Sniff? Who’d have dinner with Nick and drive him crazy occasional y? Who’d give it to Vance regularly?
I didn’t want to think of anyone (or multiple anyones) giving it to Vance regularly.
This meant I had to get off the street.
God dammit.
I looked up at Vance. “Shit,” I said.
His arms got tighter and he kissed my forehead but he stil didn’t say anything.
There was something nice about that. He didn’t rub it in or make a big deal about it. He just let my decision… be.
Even though I was freaking out, I felt another pleasant whoosh in my bel y.
“This sucks,” I told him. “Tex and I had fun tonight. He’s a great sidekick. We used up al our smoke bombs. He’s gonna be pissed we aren’t going out tomorrow night.”
“He’l get over it,” Vance replied.
“I have seventeen rol s of plastic wrap. What am I going to do with seventeen rol s of plastic wrap? I never have leftovers. I don’t cook.”
Vance grinned at me. “Maybe Nick can use them,” he suggested.
“What am I going to do at night?” I went on. “I’m used to night-time action. I’m going to get bored. I can’t go from making an art of havoc to lying around reading a book. I’l go nuts.”
His eyes got soft and sexy. “We’l find some way to keep you busy.”
My bel y fluttered.
Hmm.
“What if you’re working or out of town?”
“For the time being, I’l work something out with Lee.”
“I don’t want you getting into trouble at work.” His grin turned into a smile. “Maybe you don’t get it, Princess. Lee wants you fucked up by Shard, Clarence and Jermaine only slightly less than I do. You got nothin’ to worry about.”
That caused a bel y whoosh too, not as big as the other one but it was stil nice.
“Crowe.”
“You got nothin’ to worry about,” he repeated.
“I don’t think –”
“Shut up, Jules.”
It was my turn for my brows to knit over narrowed eyes.
“Seriously, for the last time, don’t tel me to shut up.” Crowe ignored my attitude, stepped away from me and looked around the room.
“Why are we standin’ in the kitchen?” he asked.
I blinked at him, not keeping up. I thought we had begun to bicker. I kind of liked bickering with him. His question threw me.
“What?” I asked.
“Lots of better places for us to be,” was his answer.
Then before I could reply, he leaned down, put a shoulder in my bel y, a hand at my wrist and an arm around my thighs and lifted, wrapping me around his neck. He turned and started walking toward the hal .
I shouted, “Crowe!” as if I minded him carrying me to bed.
Um.
Hardly.
I didn’t mind at al .
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chopped Liver
I woke up to heavy kitty footfal s on my body.
I felt Vance’s warmth against my back, his body spooning mine, his forearm resting just below my waist.
I decided this was my Number One Most Favorite Sleeping Position with Vance and I was looking forward to ranking alternates.
Boo walked back and forth across Vance and me. I could tel he was doing this because his kitty feet would leave me and then come back to me a lot further down or up my body.
I opened my eyes. It was stil dark, nigh on winter so the days were short but I knew it was too early for Boo Breakfast.
When Boo was four-footed on my body, I did a jerk, he lost his position and slid clumsily down my bel y with an angry, “Meow!”
I wrapped an arm around him and tucked him into my body. He started purring loudly.
“Would you break up with me if I kil ed your cat?” Vance’s sleepy-rough voice sounded against the back of my neck.
“Probably.”
Vance’s arm moved, his hand sliding up my bel y, midriff, then came to rest cupping my breast.
I was wrong, there was only a subtle change but this was my Number One Most Favorite Sleeping Position with Vance.
* * * * *
I woke up again and it was later. I didn’t know how much later but I instinctively knew there wasn’t much time before the alarm went. I rol ed to my bel y, dislodging Boo and Vance’s arm.
Vance moved automatical y, fal ing to his back. I turned into him, ready to say something but when I lifted up on my elbows I realized he was stil asleep.
I wished I could turn on a light. I’d never seen him asleep.
He was always up before or with me.
I studied him. There was something about him asleep from what I could see in the near-dark, he seemed almost… boyish.
God, I wanted to kiss him as in really wanted to kiss him.
This gave me pause for reflection. Not as to why I’d want to kiss him because that was obvious but as to why I didn’t.
He was my boyfriend (or whatever). We were exclusive. He was sleeping in my bed. We’d had incredible sex not seven hours earlier.
Why not? Why couldn’t I kiss him?
So I kissed him.
Not a ful -on, ful tongue, let’s-have-sex- right-now kiss but I touched my lips to his.
When I pul ed back, his eyes were open.
“Good morning,” I said and smiled.
He stared at me and he didn’t look boyish anymore.
Um.
Maybe I shouldn’t have kissed him.
As he kept staring at me, my smile began to fade.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean
to wake –” I started.
Then he moved, arms going around me, body rol ing in to me, thigh pressing between my legs, mouth on mine.
His kiss was a ful -on, ful tongue, we’re- going-to-have-sex-right-now kiss and I responded. I had no choice however if I was given one I’d have said yes.
He was al over me and it became clear very quickly he wasn’t in the mood for me to be al over him. I figured this out because he eventual y pinned my hands to the bed, his at my wrists and he did magnificent things to my mouth, neck and breasts with his mouth and tongue and, shockingly but very effectively, with his teeth.
When I was making noises I couldn’t control and struggling at his hands in order to touch him, he went lower, letting my wrists go so he could spread my legs then his mouth was there.
Yay! My brain screamed.
My hands slid into his hair, his hands tilted my hips and very shortly after I was panting, rocketing to Grade Ten with my entire body on fire and enjoying the ride.
“Vance,” I whispered, coming close.
He kept going and my rocket ride kept ascending.
“Vance,” I breathed before I hit the stratosphere, dazzled by the stars and Vance came up over me. I was stil flying high when he rol ed us, him on his back, me on top. He pul ed up my knees so I was astride him, came up with me and reached to the shelf, nabbing a condom.
“I’l do it,” I whispered, stil breathing heavily.
“Quiet.”
Obviously he didn’t feel like playing around. One second he was tearing the packet open with his white teeth, the next second he was inside me.
My head fel back.
He rol ed again, him on top of me but not for very long.
He kept my legs bent, lifted up his torso, coming to his knees, he pul ed up my hips and drove into me. The whole time he moved inside me, he was watching me and I was watching him.
Even though he was far away, the intimacy of our connection, the beauty of him, the way he was watching me with that fierce “mine” look on his face overwhelmed me and although I’d descended to a Grade Six or Seven after my orgasm, it started coming over me again.
It was helped when his hand took mine, moving it between us so I could feel him sliding inside me then his fingers pressed mine deep, just at the right spot and manipulated them. It didn’t take long before I let go, saying his name again.
* * * * *
While Vance went to the bathroom, I laid in bed thinking that I’d spend my newly-free evenings trying to learn how to knit so I could make Vance sweaters. I was mental y designing a sexy turtleneck when the alarm sounded. I rol ed over and slapped the off button, rol ed back and cuddled into the pil ows.
Boo said, “Meow,” which meant “Breakfast.”
“Not now, Boo, Mommy just had two orgasms. She’s recovering.”
Boo was not impressed with this new and unusual excuse and gave me a kitty pouty face.
Vance came back and curled me into his arms, ful frontal, thigh pressing between my legs so I was forced to wrap one around his hip.
“What was that?” I asked him.
“What?”
“What you just did.”
He grinned his shit-eating grin. “It was good morning.”
“Good” didn’t quite cover it.
He sure did “good morning” a lot better than me.
“Next time I get to pin your hands down to the bed and have my wicked way with you,” I said.
I wanted to try the teeth thing on him that was nice.
He didn’t answer but he looked amused.
“No, seriously. It’s only fair,” I said.
“You could try.”
Hmm.
He said, “try”.
Whatever.
I was feeling too mel ow to bicker.
“What’s on for your day?” he asked.
“First up, doctor’s appointment,” I started but Vance interrupted, the remnants of his amused look faded and his body got tense.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you goin’ to the doctor?”
“Um…”
“Are you okay?”
I felt that whoosh of warmth through my bel y at his concern and I couldn’t help but smile at him. “Yeah, we just need to discuss, erm…” Why was this embarrassing? He’d just had his mouth between my legs. I told myself to get over it and forged on. “Contraception.”
His body relaxed and he kissed my forehead. “That’d be good,” he said softly, “then what?”
“Work. I need to get to Fortnum’s, break it to Tex that his nights as a sidekick wil be short-lived. Then I’m going to the hobby shop and picking up a How-To-Knit Kit.” I didn’t know if there was such a thing as a How-To-Knit-Kit but I didn’t have time to wonder for long because Vance’s body started to shake with laughter.
“How to knit?” he asked, voice stil amused.
“Yeah, I’l need to do something in the evenings that doesn’t involve getting me kidnapped and other things that freak me out. I tried baking. That, as you could see, didn’t work. Now I’m going to try knitting.”
Knitting didn’t burn when Daisy came over to give you an impromptu facial and you forgot it so I thought it was a safe bet.
He rol ed into me so he was partly on top of me, partly at my side. He was shaking his head and he had that look on his face, the look that said I was too adorable for words.
His hand went to the side of my head and his fingers ran through my hair.
“What’s on for your day?” I asked and I found that I liked this. I liked cuddling and talking after spending the night together and morning sex. It didn’t cause a bel y whoosh or flutter or plummet, it just made me feel warm, relaxed, mel ow… happy.
I hadn’t felt real y happy in twelve years and it was nice as in super nice.
“I’m gonna take Roam and Sniff out later. Can you bring them to Fortnum’s when you talk to Tex?”
Okay, I was back to the bel y whoosh.
I nodded, smiling at him again, this time I suspected it was giddily. This was confirmed when Vance’s eyes got warm and soft or warmer and softer.
“Doesn’t take much with you, does it?” he murmured.
“This may not seem much for you, Crowe, but it’s gonna rock Roam and Sniff’s worlds.”
He didn’t respond.
“What does it take for you?” I whispered and wished I hadn’t.
That was a moonlight question. Even feeling mel ow and happy, I wasn’t quite sure I was ready for a moonlight conversation in the morning. We’d had one yesterday and I was thinking once a week was my quota.
Surprisingly he didn’t hesitate in giving his response, clearly not sharing my moonlight restrictions on deep, meaningful, soul-shattering conversations.
“Making you come, watching you come, hearin’ you say my name when you do.”
Wel one thing you could say for that, it had a theme.
He wasn’t finished. “Not knowin’ what ridiculous shit is gonna come out of your mouth and make me smile, Yoko Ono, learnin’ to knit, namin’ your car Hazel.” Okay, I was back to needing the moonlight. That was too much. Especial y since his face had changed and so had the air. He stil had that warm and soft look but somehow it was mingled with intensity and I didn’t know what was going to come next. What I did know was that I wasn’t going to be prepared for it whatever it was.
“Crowe –”
I was right, he’d saved the real whammy for last and I wasn’t prepared for it.
When he spoke again, his voice had that fierce undercurrent and it slid across my skin, shrouding me in velvet. “Knowin’ I got something to live for now that you’re mine. Keepin’ it that way, workin’ at keepin’ this good like it is right now.”
I stopped breathing and he kept talking.
“I can go back now, to the rez, to my family with you on the back of my bike.”
My lungs started burning with lack of oxygen but that was okay con
sidering my heart had also stopped beating. I figured I was going to die at any moment and I was total y fine with that.
Vance continued. “They can see that, despite them, I made it to the other side, passed their shit. While they lived their dysfunction, I worked my way to something better, ridin’ up with you wrapped around me.”
I butted in, it took a great deal of effort, mainly because I was overwhelmed by what he was saying. “Vance, you’re defined by more than just me giving my virginity to you.” After I said that he kissed me softly then he did it again then again. Then his face an inch away from mine he said,
“You’re right, Princess. That’s not what I’m sayin’. It isn’t about that, though that was a bonus. Even if I hadn’t been your first, I stil would claim you as mine. But any man is defined by the woman who shares her bed with him.”
“That isn’t true.”
“It is and it works the other way too.”
Oh my God.
Did he real y think that?
Did he real y think that?
“Crowe –”
“Which means, if someone like you, someone as unbelievably beautiful as you, as crazy and sweet as you, fil ed with attitude and courage with her heart in the right place, in a lot of right places even though her head normal y isn’t… if someone like you shares her bed with me, then that says something about me.”
Oh… my… God.
(I was going to let the comment about my head not being in the right place slide because the rest of it was so fucking nice.)
“Vance –”
“Shut up, Jules.”
I decided to give up tel ing him not to tel me to shut up and desperately looked for a different topic that was safe for morning discussions. I needed to move on, process this later perhaps in the night-time hours with the moonlight coming in the window and Vance asleep while we were test-driving another Most Favorite Sleeping Position.
Final y I blurted, “You never answered me. Do you like The Beatles?”
He stared at me a beat then said, “What?”
“The Beatles. Do you like them?”
He total y had my number. I knew it when the intensity slid away, a slow grin spread on his face and he kissed me softly again. Thankful y, he let the moonlight conversation go and I knew this was because he knew I needed him to let it go… for now.
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