Henry’s head started to spin. Married? So soon? It was painful to think that Allison was moving on to the point of marrying someone else when his wounds still felt so raw, but even worse were the implications of what her marriage would mean for AJ.
AJ living in another house.
AJ having another family.
AJ having another dad.
It was too much for him to process. For the second time in not even a week, Henry felt the need to turn his back on his life and flee. This time though, he couldn’t run away. AJ was back at the house, waiting for him. He had to be a father, had to face the reality of his situation and fight for a better relationship with his son.
But how?
Chapter 18
Eliza heard the hum of Henry’s sedan as it pulled into the driveway, followed by the throatier roar of her own SUV. She glanced out AJ’s bedroom window and saw Henry and AJ’s grandfather, Jim, making their way into the house.
“Look,” AJ said, pulling her attention back to his collection of Legos. “This is the other one I wanted to show you. It has retractable wings, and if you pull on this lever right here, the wings will move up and down like it’s really flying.”
Eliza smiled. She was grateful for the attention and care she’d received from Lila, even the kindness Allison had offered, but it was all she could do to suppress a massive sigh of relief when AJ had asked her if she wanted to see his Lego collection. She had noticed the direction the conversation was heading with the two women and could tell she was mere moments away from a gentle yet pointed “define the relationship” kind of question regarding her friendship with Henry.
It wasn’t that she was afraid of telling people she and Henry were just friends. They were just friends. But she was terrible at hiding her emotions. Her fear was that anyone who asked would be able to tell she wished they were more than friends. But that will never happen now, she thought sadly to herself.
“It’s really amazing that you’ve built all of these. Does your dad like Legos too?”
AJ hesitated. “I don’t know. We don’t really talk about it.”
“Why not?”
AJ turned his back and started fiddling with the wings of his ship. “He’s busy, I think. I don’t know if he really wants to be my dad anymore.”
Eliza closed her eyes and placed her hand over her heart as if to stop the swift swell of pain she felt as she replayed AJ’s words in her mind. Surely he didn’t think that was how Henry felt.
“AJ, why would you ever think that? Your dad is my friend, and I know how much he cares about you. I’m pretty sure being your dad is his most favorite thing.”
“I guess so,” AJ said. “But now I’m going to live with Robert all the time, and he’ll be my new dad. Why would my dad let that happen?”
So that was it. Eliza pulled out the chair to AJ’s desk and sat down so she could look him right in the eyes. “AJ.” She touched him gently on the shoulder. “Look at me.” He slowly turned. “It’s good that your mom and Robert have each other because Robert is just one more person who can love you and take care of you. But he won’t ever replace your dad. Your dad would never, in a million, trillion years, give you up.”
AJ stared at his hands, still gripping his Legos tightly. “Did he tell you that?” He looked up, his eyes hopeful.
Eliza nodded her head yes. “He sure did.”
“Do you think he would like to see my ship?”
“Of course!” Eliza said. “In fact, I think he just got back. Why don’t you go try to find him?” She watched as AJ darted out his bedroom door in search of his father. As she stood and pushed the desk chair back in place, she couldn’t decide if her heart hurt more for AJ or more for Henry. As she left the room, a hand reached out and gripped her forearm.
She looked up. “Henry! You startled . . .” Her words trailed off when she saw his face. His eyes were red, his cheeks damp with tears. Clearly, he’d been standing outside AJ’s door just long enough to overhear their conversation. In that moment, she knew her heart was definitely hurting more for Henry.
“I . . . uh . . .” he said gruffly. He shook his head and looked down, then raised his eyes back up to meet Eliza’s. “Thank you.”
Before she could respond, he turned and walked down the hallway, most certainly in search of his son.
* * *
Over the next couple of weeks, Eliza hardly saw Henry at all. Everyone at Rockbridge was busy. Though school remained in session year round, there was always a rush of new students in line with the traditional school calendar. Late August was generally the school’s busiest time.
As Eliza got to know her new students and tailored her counseling sessions to meet their needs, she found herself wondering if she would ever get to have a real conversation with Henry at all. They exchanged pleasantries, talked about students when it was necessary, but their interactions were never personal. Henry was keeping his distance, avoiding the cafeteria and other common areas of Rockbridge. Even at staff meeting, he was in and out so fast there wasn’t time to even attempt a conversation.
Eliza realized he had to be avoiding her on purpose. She had hoped, after the moment she’d shared with AJ, that Henry might be willing to let her back in, but he was apparently staunch in his determination to keep her out of his life as much as possible.
If she tried, she could work herself up, feeding the burn of Henry’s words the last time they’d spoken until it flamed into anger. She could convince herself she was fine, better off even, without him in her life. But her resolve never lasted. All too frequently, her mind would drift. She’d find herself thinking about the sound of Henry’s laugh or the way his face changed when he smiled. She wondered how things were going with Daniel and if Henry had managed to spend any more time with AJ.
Eliza was not the kind of girl to lose herself pining away for a man who clearly wasn’t interested in a relationship with her. But with Henry, everything felt different. How long would it take to convince her heart it needed to move on?
She needed to focus on something else, even someone else.
“Eliza—just the woman I wanted to see.”
Eliza turned and saw Flip walking purposefully in her direction. She was sitting on the side porch of the admin building, supposedly reviewing her notes from that week’s counseling sessions and enjoying the cooling temperatures of the approaching evening. She smiled, wondering if the answer to her dilemma was right there in front of her. Flip had been on excursion the past ten days. The group must have just returned.
“I’d give you a welcome-back hug, but I’m guessing you stink.”
Flip stopped right in front of her. “I don’t know.” He raised his arms dramatically to take a whiff under his armpits. “It’s not that bad. Wait . . . yes, sorry. It is that bad.”
“Go shower, Flip! What’s so important it couldn’t wait for a bath?”
“I suppose it could have waited. But you can’t blame me for wanting to see you, now can you?”
“Of course not,” Eliza said. “I love having friends who smell. What woman isn’t charmed by the enticing aromatic blend of body odor, smoke, and dirt?”
Flip sat beside her on the bench of the picnic table. “I always knew you were my kind of girl.” He nudged her gently with his elbow.
Eliza blushed. She’d been working hard to keep things with Flip on a strictly friend basis. He’d had several more meetings with the missionaries, even attended church with her once. But she still didn’t want to complicate things with romance.
Of course, considering her feelings for Henry, it was also important to Eliza that she not lead Flip on. Now she wondered if it wasn’t better to push her hesitations aside. Flip did seem serious about the Church. And he was clearly far more interested in her than Henry had ever been.
“So what’s up?” she asked.
“Well, I was hoping I could catch a ride to church with you tomorrow. And then after, I carved a wee something for the Porterfields’ new babe. I
thought we might take it over and drop it off.” He handed Eliza a small wooden teddy bear, about six inches tall. The detail was exquisite, the wood smooth and polished in Eliza’s hand.
“Flip, you made this? It’s beautiful!”
“Oh, it’s nothing. It just helps pass the time when you’re sitting around a campfire.”
“Kate and Andrew will love it. It was nice of you to think of them.”
“So, what do you say? Are we on for Sunday?”
“I think that sounds perfect. I’ve got something for the baby too, so that works out well. Once we’re in town tomorrow, I’ll send Kate a text to make sure we can stop by.”
“It’s a date.” Flip looked at Eliza, a conspiratorial twinkle in his eye.
“It’s not a date,” she said, rolling her eyes. “It’s church.”
“Yes, yes, I know. It’s only church.” He was still smiling. “I’ll see you in the morning.” He stood and headed toward the staff apartments.
“You better shower before then,” Eliza shouted after him. “You can’t ride with me if you still stink!”
Flip raised his hand in acknowledgment without turning around.
Eliza sighed.
She did like Flip. He was thoughtful, kind, funny. She always had fun when they were together. What was holding her back? Her mind drifted to the moment in her aunt’s kitchen when she’d kissed Henry.
Yeah. That’s enough to hold me back.
Chapter 19
Henry stood at the end of the hallway and watched as Eliza and Flip entered the Relief Society room for Sunday School. He’d spoken with the missionaries earlier that morning, and they had confirmed that Flip was talking seriously about picking a baptism date. Henry had to work to hide his surprise.
If Flip was sincerely interested in the gospel, that was great. If not? Henry had seen it too many times. Conversion for the wrong reason only resulted in failed expectations and disappointment.
He couldn’t help but think of Allison. He’d been so sure she wasn’t joining the Church just for him. But in retrospect, he wondered if that wasn’t precisely what she had done. Maybe not just for him but because it was what everyone had expected her to do. It seemed a natural next step in their courtship. Only without the roots of her own testimony to hold on to, when things got tough and she let go of him, she let go of her faith as well. Henry wouldn’t wish the same experience on anyone—especially Eliza.
Just before priesthood, Henry walked to where Flip was sitting a few pews ahead of him and sat down.
Flip looked up. “Hello, Henry,” he said. “How are you?”
“I don’t want to see Eliza get hurt.”
Flip seemed taken aback. “I can’t imagine anyone wanting Eliza to get hurt. What’s your point?”
Henry leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I guess what I’m trying to say is I think it’s great that you’re here, that you’re thinking about being baptized, but I’ve experienced firsthand how it can end when baptism doesn’t happen for the right reasons. This is too big of a decision for you to be doing it for anyone other than yourself.”
“You Mormons sure aren’t very encouraging,” Flip said.
“Please don’t misunderstand my meaning, Flip. I really think it’s wonderful that you’re learning and that you want to be baptized. I guess I just want to make sure you understand. This is a big deal. You can’t do this for Eliza. It will never work in the end.”
“Henry, my friend, would you believe you’re not the first person to have this conversation with me? Even Eliza herself has threatened to stop speaking to me altogether if I even hint that I’m doing this for anyone other than myself. I understand. Trust me.”
Henry could see the sincerity in Flip’s eyes. “In that case,” he said, extending his hand, “welcome to the branch. Really, Flip. It’s a good thing you’re doing.”
“Now, that’s more like it.” A broad smile stretched across Flip’s face. He took Henry’s hand and gave him a friendly clap on the back. “I will be honest with you though . . . if you don’t mind.”
“Of course not.”
“I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you I’d like for things to work out for Eliza and me. I’m certainly not doing this for her, but if she happened to be a part of a package deal, I wouldn’t be disappointed.”
Henry took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair. “I’m not sure I understand why you’re telling me this.”
“Out of respect, of course. I’m pretty sure Eliza’s felt something for you. If there’s been anything between you in the past, I thought I better let you know where I stand.”
Henry was silent for a moment. He thought about the kiss he’d shared with Eliza and the strength of the emotion he’d felt when he’d heard her talking with AJ about Allison’s impending marriage.
But then he thought of the expression on her face as she’d stood on the other side of his screen door listening to his tirade about how awful a person she was, how terrible he found her approach on life. He’d hurt her. He knew that and regretted it deeply.
Henry had never spoken such hateful words. It was completely out of character, and he’d spent hours reflecting on where he’d found the venom he’d thrown at her that night. It had been a rough day, yes, and he felt justified in the anger he’d experienced, but he’d had no right to be so unkind. He knew he needed to tell her that. He just didn’t know how.
Still, an apology wouldn’t change how different they were. No matter the intensity of Henry’s feelings, he would be lying to himself if he didn’t acknowledge that Eliza would be better off with Flip. Flip could make Eliza happy without asking her to compromise. Henry shook his head. “There’s nothing between Eliza and me. There never has been.”
“Really?” Flip’s voice was infused with doubt. “Well, I guess that’s even better.”
* * *
A week later, Henry listened as Dr. Adler closed their staff meeting.
“Eliza, Henry, could the two of you stay for a few extra minutes? We need to discuss something that concerns you both.”
Henry looked at Dr. Adler and nodded, then glanced at Eliza, his eyebrows raised in question.
She shrugged. Apparently she didn’t know what this pertained to either. After the rest of the staff had cleared the room, Dr. Adler motioned for the two of them to join her at the head of the large conference table.
“Ordinarily,” she began, “this is not something I would specifically ask of any of my staff members. But the truth is, this matter concerns a student who is the granddaughter of an old friend of mine. The granddaughter, Amber, is having a difficult time right now and could benefit from a stay at Rockbridge. I offered as much, encouraged her, even, to consider bringing her to visit the school. Her only hesitation has to do with Amber’s faith. When I told her we had nondenominational services here on campus that Amber could easily attend, she told me that wasn’t quite what she had in mind. My friend and her granddaughter are Mormon.
“Now, again, I realize this is quite an unusual request, and I do understand if either one of you is uncomfortable with what I’m asking. But as I’m sure you’re both aware, being Mormon is much more than just a definition of where you attend church on Sunday. My friend believes that Amber’s faith should be a large part of her therapy, which is where the two of you would come in. Eliza, you would obviously be responsible for Amber’s counseling. I’ll make sure she’s yours, both for individual counseling and all group sessions she attends. Henry, your role would be more of secondary support. My friend mentioned something about priesthood blessings. I’m a little out of my depth here, but is that something you could provide should the need arise?”
Henry nodded. “Of course. That wouldn’t be a problem.”
Dr. Adler breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s good. In addition, and this is probably the largest sacrifice I’m asking you to make because it requires you to bring work into your personal life, I’d like it if you could facilitate Amber’s attend
ance at your church every Sunday.” She leaned back in her chair. “What do you think?”
Henry looked at Eliza and waited for her to respond. She had to agree to far more than he did, though he didn’t doubt she would be willing. It wasn’t in Eliza’s nature to turn down something like this simply because of a little inconvenience.
“I’d be happy to help in any way I can,” Eliza said. “In fact, it will be a wonderful privilege to incorporate my faith into my therapy. When does Amber arrive?”
Dr. Adler smiled. “I knew I could count on you both. You know, my friend was surprised to hear that way out here in Western North Carolina I had even one Mormon staff member who would be willing to help. To have the two of you is nothing short of a miracle. Amber will be here at the end of this week, so hopefully we’ll all be prepared by then.” She stood. “There’s just one more thing,” she said as she stepped toward the door. “This situation will require a bit of discretion. After all, Amber will have the privilege of leaving campus immediately rather than having to earn it like her peers. We must be clear from the start that these outings are for church meetings—Sundays only at first. Once she’s proved she can behave, we can include other church-sponsored activities, youth-group meetings, and things of that nature. Under no circumstances is it to appear that Amber receives any special treatment from either of you. I realize that will be difficult given the requests I’ve made, but I feel confident you’ll both find a way to be solicitous of her unique needs without being unfair to the other students.” She started to leave, then turned back to face them. “Are we good?”
Henry and Eliza nodded. “We’re great,” Eliza said. When Dr. Adler was gone, she turned to Henry. “Wow. This must be some friend of Dr. Adler’s. I’m surprised she’s going to such lengths to accommodate her.”
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