Without a Compass

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Without a Compass Page 17

by Helen Juliet


  He took two pieces to chew while Kai fussed over their ‘bed’. He insisted that Riley have the side with the thin roll mattress, which he tried to protest against but Kai wouldn’t budge. “Patient, remember,” he argued.

  Riley’s feet still looked gross, but they burned a lot less now after being exposed to the fresh air for a few hours. He really hoped he’d be okay to put his boots back on again tomorrow with the special plasters Kai luckily had.

  They didn’t have any pillows or blankets, but it was warm enough that they didn’t need covers. If he slept on his back, Riley thought he’d be okay just resting his head on his arm, or maybe the folded top of the sleeping bag.

  “Oh, good idea,” Kai said, seeing him experimenting how best to fold or roll the top into a makeshift pillow. In the end, they rolled all of the top foot or so down to create a pillow for both of them. That meant their feet were dangling off the end but that was the lesser of two evils. At least Riley’s heels were protected from the ground by the bedroll.

  He disposed of his gum in a tissue then swirled water around his mouth. It was almost as good as using his toothbrush. He laid down on his makeshift bed feeling as content as he figured he was going to get.

  It was dark enough that the stars were out. There were way more than he usually could see in London. But there was still enough light to see Kai kick off his own shoes and socks and settle himself down beside him. He was so close.

  Hastily, Riley refocused back on the stars, his gaze travelling over the familiar constellations.

  “Thanks for a nice day,” he said, before he could overthink it. “It’s not what I was expecting,” he quantified with a small laugh. “But it’s been really fun.”

  “Really fun,” Kai agreed. Riley snuck a glance at him to find him already looking over. They smiled awkwardly then quickly looked away.

  Go to sleep, Riley willed himself. Nothing’s going to happen, just relax and get some shut eye. He was feeling wide awake though, despite all his yawning ten minutes ago. His skin was hypersensitive, feeling like it had electricity skimming over the surface. Every noise caught his attention, every rustle and tug of the sleeping bag alerting him to Kai’s presence.

  “You still look at the stars?”

  Riley turned his head. Kai was gazing up into the night’s sky. “What do you mean?”

  He looked over at him. “You had that little notebook, where you drew out all the constellations. You’d pull it out after Scout meetings in winter, seeing what you could find while we waited for the other kids to leave so your dad could pack up.”

  Riley’s mouth went dry. “You remember that?”

  Kai shrugged and went back to looking upwards again. “You were always doing something interesting. Drawing anime or collecting foreign pennies or memorising spaceship blueprints.”

  Riley was under the impression that none of those things had been ‘interesting’. They’d been dorky and, mostly, kept extremely private lest anyone at school were to find out. Kai had always been around though, hadn’t he? Riley had no idea he’d picked up on so much.

  “I was a weird kid,” he mumbled, focusing on the stars above.

  Kai tsked. “You’re an asset on pub quiz teams now though,” he argued. Riley smiled to himself.

  “There,” he said, pointing. “Scorpius is the most prominent constellation this time of year. Can you see? It sort of looks like a hook with a little bar at the non-curved end.”

  Kai shifted around, trying to see what Riley could see. His head ended up angled very near Riley’s. “Oh, yeah,” he said in wonder. “I mean, I can see the hook part. Where’s the end?”

  Wordlessly, Riley pointed again. When Kai didn’t say anything, he turned to look.

  They were nose to nose.

  Slowly, Riley lowered his arm, laying his hand over his stomach. He couldn’t read Kai’s expression, but his dark eyes weren’t flinching from his gaze, even for a heartbeat. The moment stretched out and Riley struggled to breathe.

  Kai shifted more on his side, his eyes not wavering. He licked his lips. His breathing was catching in his chest as he tentatively reached over…and cupped Riley’s face.

  It was possible his heart stopped all together. He was too scared to move, as if the smallest twitch might shatter this illusion if he wasn’t careful. Kai swept his thumb over his cheek, his fingertips caressing in minute motions against the soft hair of Riley’s short beard.

  His voice had gotten lost somewhere in his sandpaper-dry throat, but inside he was screaming. What are you doing? What’s happening? What do you want?

  “Kai?” was all he was able to rasp out.

  Kai raised his eyebrows in response, asking his own question. But Riley’s mind was a beehive of frantic activity, his thoughts whirling at a million miles an hour. He seemed to be asking for something.

  Asking for permission?

  Before he broke apart at the seams Riley gave the only answer he’d ever wanted to give to Kai Brandt. The nod was just a fraction of a movement, his head jerking in the tiniest of motions in the darkness. Yes, it said. Yes, please.

  Kai moved towards him, not hurried, but confident. He hovered, his warm, sweet breath ghosting over Riley’s mouth. Then he closed the last millimetre, and pressed their lips together.

  It was as different as it could possibly be to the drunken kiss they’d shared the night before under the unforgiving gaze of Charlotte and Daryl Grinter. This was soft and full of warmth and patience. It held fragile promises.

  Dizzy with disbelief, Riley turned his head slightly, his nose brushing against Kai’s skin as his lips parted, seeking out the gentle caress he knew waited for him from Kai’s mouth. His hand, large and firm against Riley’s jaw, tightened by increments, urging him closer. It emboldened Riley enough to shift on his side too and raise his own hand, daring to run it through Kai’s thick, coarse hair.

  Something shattered. Urgency came crashing down between them and Riley seized Kai’s t-shirt in order to use as leverage to haul their bodies together. Kai moaned into his mouth, the kiss getting messier, a tangle of teeth and lips and tongues and saliva.

  Kai stank deliciously of the day; sweat and earth and something spicy that was uniquely him that enveloped Riley’s senses, driving him wild. His worries and fears and pain dimmed in the light of the overwhelming want that surged through him, urging him to climb on top of the bigger man, straddling his hips as he claimed him.

  His hands ran across his broad chest and thick arms as they kissed, the taut muscles shifting under Riley’s palms as Kai reached up to grip his hips. Riley dug his fingers into his shoulders and ground his groin against Kai’s.

  His cry of pleasure cut through the quiet night. Riley had done that. Riley was making this Adonis of a man writhe beneath him.

  He blinked as their lips broke apart. He didn’t have a second to process before Kai attacked the hem of his Henley shirt, yanking it upwards. Riley mirrored him, scrambling to shove Kai’s t-shirt up and away so he could expose that glorious expanse of tanned and tattooed skin. Kai leant up so Riley could get the material over his shoulders and throw it aside in a ball.

  They were both left in just their shorts. It was nothing Riley hadn’t seen in the shower block that morning, or that Kai hadn’t glimpsed of him. But twelve hours ago he would never have imagined he’d be allowed to touch, to taste. As he dropped his body back on top of Kai’s the sensation of pressing skin to skin was all consuming and exquisite. Riley grabbed the back of his neck and forced his other hand under the small of his back, ensuring they could rub every inch of soft bellies and hard nipples against one another.

  “Riley,” Kai uttered between hungry kisses, grounding him in reality. This was really happening. Kai knew he was desperately making out with his best friend’s little brother, and there was no doubt how much he wanted it. Not if the hot length of his rigid erection digging into Riley’s thigh was anything to go by.

  There wasn’t much room in Riley’s head for cohere
nt thought, but he knew one thing. If this was going to be his only chance with Kai, he wanted everything. He rocked back, careful not to sit on his sore heels as his fingers fumbled with the buttons and zip of Kai’s fly.

  Elation, sharp and clear, arced through him as Kai didn’t hesitate to copy him, his fingertips brushing the flesh above his waistband and he clumsily tried to get the shorts off.

  Ultimately, it was easier for them to roll apart and finish undressing themselves. Riley divested himself of his shorts and boxers in record time, not even pausing to consider that he was now totally naked in front of the man he’d lusted after for longer than anyone else in his whole life. Years of pining and bitter hopelessness had delivered him to this moment, and he wasn’t going to falter for even a second, lest it get snatched away from him.

  He got the impression that Kai’s length was pretty big as he climbed back on top of him, picking off where they had left off. Except now it was a thousand times better with their pulsing cocks rubbing frantically together. Riley reached down to encircle them both, creating a tunnel for them to thrust into.

  “Fuck,” Kai gasped, his eyes scrunched up and his hands like vices on Riley’s hips. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

  “Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” Riley said, kissing his throat. “Holy shit, I want to make you come.”

  “Yes. Yes.”

  Riley loved the feeling of Kai’s large hands roaming aggressively all over his back, his shoulders, grabbing his arse cheeks and squeezing tight. Normally, he would expect a big guy like him to want to be on top, to dominate. It was thrilling how he allowed Riley to take charge, to pin him down and call the shots. Maybe that was why the next words tumbled from his mouth.

  “Christ, I want to fuck you.”

  Kai smiled into the kiss. “Please,” he begged.

  26

  Kai

  It turned out, as soon as Kai stopped analysing his feelings and just went with them, good things happened. Really good things.

  So what Riley was a guy? He was gorgeous. And sweet and fascinating and funny and his ability to do impressions was a surprising turn on. And it didn’t hurt that he had a pretty cock that felt like hot velvet thrusting wantonly against Kai’s own member.

  Kai had seen plenty of other dicks in his time. Most guys like to flash them about at the changing room in the gym, and he and his mates weren’t exactly shy around each other after all these years. Then of course there was porn, but quite often those guys were so hung it didn’t even look real.

  He only got a brief look at Riley’s before he scrambled back on top of him like a horny monkey. It was slender and a bit smaller than Kai’s own one. He might have described it as delicate if it hadn’t been straining upwards, red and shiny with desire. It suited Riley; understated, but not to be underestimated.

  Who would have thought shy little Riley would be so demanding with his kisses? He was devouring Kai’s mouth, snatching his breath and his animalistic moans. This was why he’d gone weak at the knees when Riley had raised his voice that morning. Kai wanted him to boss him around and do whatever he wanted. He was dying for that, he craved it.

  So when he uttered filthy words about fucking him, Kai jumped at the chance.

  Apparently, that came as something as a surprise after Riley suggested it. He leant back, just enough to break their kiss, and panted as he searched Kai’s expression. “You…want to fuck?” he asked in little more than a whisper.

  “You didn’t get me all worked up just to knit, did you?” Kai was quite impressed he managed to string a joke together when all his blood was most definitely pumping through his cock and not his brain.

  “Have you…before…I mean?”

  Kai shook his head. “I trust you,” he said. “I’ll follow your lead.”

  Riley stared at him for another few moments. “Don’t you want to top?” he asked. “Fuck me?”

  This seemed to be a bit of a fumbling block for Riley. Kai thought guys could just do it either way. “I’m the newbie,” he said. He slipped his hand around the back of Riley’s neck, stroking his fingers through his hair. “Do you normally top?” Riley shook his head. “Would you like to?”

  Riley swallowed. His long neck bobbed like a heron, and Kai moved his hand around to carefully wrap his fingers around his throat. He’d never done that before, it felt too threatening with a girl. But now he just hoped it conveyed some of the possessiveness he was feeling. He wanted to do whatever Riley wanted.

  “Do you want to fuck me?”

  Riley let out a strangled noise that Kai felt vibrate through his palm. “Fucking hell, yes,” he whimpered. “But we can’t, we don’t have anything.”

  Kai wasn’t a religious man, but at that moment he sent a silent prayer of thanks out into the ether. “Boy Scout,” he whispered, wiggling his eyebrows. “Check the first aid kit.”

  If he wasn’t so painfully turned on, it might have been funny to witness the speed with which Riley darted over to the green box on the grass by Kai’s rucksack. He bit his lip as he watched him pull out the packet of condoms and compatible lube to go with them. He’d brought them up Kilimanjaro. He and Scarlett didn’t get the chance to use them, but he was almost certain they were still in date.

  Riley, bless him, checked exactly that in the faint moonlight, before crawling back over to Kai. He sat up to greet him, running his hands up and down his arms.

  “Are you sure about this?” Riley asked. His eyes were even wider than usual. Kai leant over to cradle his face with both hands and kiss him tenderly.

  He was tempted to joke. He couldn’t remember the last time he was so desperate to shag a girl. Not that he hadn’t had a lot of great sex in the past couple of years, but his heart ached for Riley. His attraction had blindsided him, and now he was ravenous for it.

  “Completely.”

  Riley put the supplies down and straddled his lap again, nipping sweet kisses against his lips as they sat entwined. “It might take a bit of getting used to if this is your first time.”

  Kai snorted. He didn’t mean to break the mood, but devilment took him over. “First time with a guy,” he admitted. “I saw a woman who wielded a strap-on like a pro for a month or two.”

  Riley’s stunned expression made him laugh again. He ran his hands along his spine while he took a moment to process that information. “That’s…so hot.”

  “This is hotter,” Kai said truthfully. The dildo had been a lot of fun, but he was pretty sure a hot, throbbing cock was going to feel even better. He stroked Riley’s protruding erection to prove his point, making him moan.

  It would be better because it would be Riley making love to him. He coveted everything he had to give him.

  “How do you want me?” Kai murmured into his mouth. It was fun watching Riley try to think while Kai rubbed his thumb through the precum leaking from his cock head.

  Riley’s eyes fluttered. “Hands and knees,” he managed to utter.

  Kai gave him a final, hard kiss on the lips, then jerked his legs to encourage Riley to get off them.

  He got to his feet like a wobbly baby deer, scooping up the condoms and lube as he went. Kai turned to wait on all fours. He made sure he was on the side of the bed with the roll underneath so he’d be more comfortable.

  The anticipation was sweet as he waited for Riley to approach him again. He relaxed, trusting he was in good hands, willing to take whatever Riley wanted to give him. He was rewarded after a minute or two with the touch of cool fingers at the top of his spine. He shivered.

  Riley trailed his hand slowly along his back until he reached the edge of Kai’s entrance. Kai groaned and dropped his head between his shoulders. His arms were already starting to shake, not from exertion, but from adrenaline.

  The fingers disappeared. Before Kai could miss them they returned, cold and slippery to gently stroke at his hole. “Oh fuck,” he croaked. A breeze cut through the air, cooling the sweat slicked all over his body and reminding him that they were outside in the
middle of a hillside. Chances were unlikely, but anyone could walk by and see them.

  The thought was oddly erotic, and Kai’s flagging cock perked up again.

  “Tell me if anything’s too fast, or doesn’t feel right,” Riley said. His dry hand was stroking Kai’s back and side. His right thigh was pressed against Kai, keeping up maximum contact as he pressed his middle finger against the tight ring of muscle. “Relax,” he urged, making soothing noises.

  Easy for you to say, Kai thought to himself with a smirk. But he had plenty of muscle on his body, he knew how to make it do what he wanted, and he really wanted this. He let Riley in, pushing against the intrusion, welcoming it.

  “More,” he pleaded. He could take it. He wanted to feel Riley inside him as soon as possible.

  Riley didn’t ask if he was sure. He simply extracted the digit, generously applying more lube to his hand and Kai’s hole, all the while making sure they were touching either via his hand or his leg.

  “You feel so good,” he murmured reverently. He forced two fingers in and bent over to kiss Kai’s spine in the dip in his lower back. “You look even better. I-” He bit off the word.

  Kai looked over his shoulder, seeing Riley’s long, lean body looming over him as he tended to him. His expression was pensive. “What?”

  He shook his head, then smiled. “You’re just so fucking hot. It’s a bit hard to believe this is really happening.”

  Kai squirmed back against his fingers. “You’re hot too, you muppet. Now would you hurry up and fuck me. Please?”

  Riley laughed. Kai liked that. He preferred his sex fun, he needed to know Riley was enjoying this as much as he was.

  “Alright, patience,” he chided. He accompanied the words with a firm slap to Kai’s arse. He went rigid as his body seized up with pure lust, but Riley misinterpreted, freezing behind him. “Oh God, are you alright?”

  Kai managed to shake his head. “Do that again,” he gasped.

  He waited, trembling in anticipation as Riley understood what he’d asked and gradually relaxed once more. He began rubbing the spot that he’d swatted, pulsing his slippery fingers inside Kai’s arse again. He found himself lulled into relaxing again. Just when he thought Riley wouldn’t spank him again, the sting of his palm struck the top of his thigh. Kai jerked and moaned.

 

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