by Helen Juliet
How well did he know Riley at all?
There was only one way to find out. He needed to pick up his pace.
He spent a few nervous minutes following the trail not knowing what would be around the bend. If the pathway split, he might be in trouble. But his fears were soon allayed as he climbed a small, ragged hill, and found himself faced with a beautiful lake.
The pair that sat on the shore were a more beauteous sight though. His heart swelled as he realised not only had he caught up with Riley, but that Riley had a wriggling, perfectly healthy Bia sat in his lap.
“There we are,” he said softly to himself. “Nothing to worry about.” Not really.
He still had no clue what had been the cause of Riley’s upset when they’d woken up, but now they were back together he was sure they could talk it through.
As he crossed the thirty feet between them, he tossed several ideas of what he could say back and forth. But when it came to it, he simply dropped the bags onto the shingle beach where Riley sat, and folded himself around the smaller guy.
“You’re a fucking idiot, you know that?” he lamented with all his heart.
Riley spun around in his arms, surprise written all over his face. Kai used the moment of stunned silence to let him go so he could sit beside him and let an excitable Bia climb into his lap.
“Hello trouble,” he said fondly to her as she licked his hands and forearms.
“What are you doing here?” Riley finally spluttered. He didn’t look angry, or like he was going to cry (any more than he already had). He just looked completely confused.
Kai scoffed. “As if I was going to leave you guys up here,” he said. He was mildly offended, however his happiness and relief outweighed any irritation. “Thank goodness neither of you made it very far. Things could have got dangerous if we all got lost looking for one another.”
Riley blinked, his golden eyelashes sweeping over his cheekbones. How had Kai not noticed how goddamned beautiful he was until now? It was like he’d been walking around with blinkers on.
Riley was still looking bewildered. Kai huffed and took one of his hands to thread his fingers through. That’s what he’d do with a girlfriend if she was upset. “Come on,” he chastised gently. “Use your words. Why were you so mad at me?”
Before he answered, Riley looked down at their entwined hands for a few moments. “I don’t get why you’re here,” he said eventually. “I – we – it’s all a mess now, why wouldn’t you escape when you had the chance?”
Kai wasn’t following at all. “It’s only a mess because you got pissy with me, and I still don’t know why. Is it because we had sex?”
Riley’s cheeks flamed and he yanked his hand free. It left Kai feeling bereft, but he didn’t try and stop him. If he needed space, he’d give it to him.
“Duh,” Riley said.
Kai weighed up his words as he watched Bia hop off his lap and go investigate the lake water. He picked at his fingernails, focusing on those and not Riley. “Was it rubbish?”
“What?” Riley practically shouted, dragging Kai’s gaze up to his horror struck face. “No, how could you – I mean – did you…think it was rubbish?”
He looked so fragile, like the breeze coming from the lake might topple him over. Kai’s chest filled with sympathy, and he determinedly took back Riley’s hand to cradle between both his own. “Why would I tell you I loved it if it was rubbish?”
Riley was definitely fighting back tears now. “But,” he said, his voice tiny. “You’re straight. It was just an experiment.”
Kai growled, and pulled him in for a hug. “I shouldn’t have used that word. I’m a twat. I’m sorry.” They pulled apart, but now Kai had both Riley’s hands in his and he wasn’t pulling them away. He sighed. “I think there’s been some crossed wires, so how about this: I like you. A lot. Do you like me?”
He was aware he sounded like a needy teenager, but he needed some straight answers. Or not straight, as the case may be.
The colour had drained from Riley’s face. “You like me?” he said, the words laced with uncertainty. “Like…more than a friend ‘like’?”
Kai nodded. “Surprise,” he said weakly. “It sort of came out of left field for me. But, I thought…it maybe seemed like you might be a bit into me too? I don’t know man, but that sex was seriously hot and that doesn’t happen with everyone I bump uglies with.”
Riley bit his lip as he scrutinised him. “But you’re straight?”
Kai ran his thumbs over Riley’s knuckles, his insides bubbling. “I don’t feel very straight with you,” he admitted, a nervous smile playing on his lips. “I haven’t felt like this in a while with anyone, actually. Is there a word for that?”
His heart ached as a couple of tears sprung from Riley’s eyes, tracing down his cheeks. “Bi?” he suggested. “Pan?”
“What’s that one?” Kai asked. He reached over and used his right thumb to sweep both tears aside. “Pan?”
“Um,” said Riley. He shifted on the pebbles, looking like he was trying very hard to fight a rather large grin. “Pansexual. I think it’s like not caring about gender, just fancying people. In all different shapes and sizes.”
Something lifted from Kai’s chest. “That sounds like it, maybe?”
He thought about all the girls he’d been with over the years. He’d never had a type, he’d always been attracted to their personalities first and foremost. He found all kinds of things attractive.
Google would probably have more answers for him when he had the internet again. But yeah, that could be the right word for him. Pan.
“Last night was amazing, I promise,” he said. He cupped Riley’s face, encouraging him to look at him. He loved the way his beard felt under the sensitive palm of his hand. “It doesn’t feel like a big deal to me that you’re a guy. I just like you, and the bits and pieces under our clothes are all fine, because they’re us and they seemed to fit together pretty damn well. At least I thought so.”
“I thought so too,” Riley said. He huffed and scowled. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. I totally got that wrong. I-” He swallowed, looking warily at Kai with those big hazel eyes. “I really like you. I…have for ages. It seemed too good to be true that after all this time you’d like me back. So I just assumed you were mucking around and, um, would want to forget all about it. Forget me.”
That made Kai so appalled he had to immediately lean over and kiss that sad-looking mouth. “What we shared last night was extremely special to me, and I’m in no hurry to forget about it. I’m sorry I didn’t make that clear enough, I thought I had.”
Riley licked his lips, chasing the kiss. He was still sad though. “I might have jumped to some conclusions,” he said slowly. “Uh, based on, um, past experience.”
Past experience – not with Kai, surely? “What do you mean?”
Riley leant back, putting a bit of space between them. Kai took the opportunity to ensure that a certain West Highland White Terrier was still in sight. She was flopped on her belly near the water, good as gold, so Kai gave his full attention back to Riley.
“I,” he began. “Please don’t tell anyone, okay? I’ve never – I mean, it’s like a secret. I don’t want people to know.”
Worry prickled down Kai’s spine. “Okay,” he said. “Whatever you want.”
Riley closed his eyes, then took a couple of breaths to steady himself. “When I was seventeen,” he said in a rush. “I let Daryl Grinter fuck me in a toilet after one of those AGM parties. We didn’t even use protection, and afterwards he called me a fun experiment, thanked me for the shag, and has generally made me feel like a whore ever since.”
Silence hung in the air while Kai processed what Riley had just said. Anger boiled up inside him, rendering him mute.
Eventually, Riley cracked one of his eyes open to peek at him. Kai knew he should say something, but he was too horrified.
“Kai?” The vulnerability in Riley’s voice snapped Kai awake.
“I’ll kill him,” he said simply. His fingers had gone cold and there was a loud rushing in his ears.
“Whoa, hey, no,” Riley cried. He seized either side of Kai’s face and looked into his eyes. “It was consensual, okay? It was shitty and painful and degrading, but I said yes and let him do it. He wasn’t a total arsehole until afterwards, and ever since. I mean it, I don’t want anyone to know.”
“But he hurt you!” Kai shouted. He realised Bia had come back over and was nudging his hip with her nose. He petted her absently.
“Yeah, and I hate him. But if other people look at me like he does, then he wins.” Riley stroked his face, and Kai could feel himself calming a fraction. “I don’t want that, and I didn’t tell you so you’d look at me any differently either. I told you so you’d maybe forgive me for being a prat earlier.”
He raised his eyebrows hopefully.
“Don’t be daft,” Kai said, yanking him back into a big bear hug. He was careful not to pull him around too much because of his sore feet, but he needed Riley to feel what he couldn’t articulate. “There’s nothing to forgive. We were both a bit dim-witted and it’s behind us now.”
Riley buried his face into the crook of Kai’s neck, and Kai let him stay there while he stroked his hair for a while. Bia climbed on his lap and squirmed her way between them both.
“It’s not just the sex,” Kai said after some time. He trailed his fingers up and down Riley’s back. “I like hanging out with you. I was thinking – I mean – if you wanted – we could hang out after this. After the holiday.”
Riley moved back to regard Kai’s face. “Are you asking me out on a date?”
That made Kai smile. “Yes,” he said patiently. “I know we live a bit far away, but-umph!”
Riley’s kiss cut him off. Luckily Bia scarpered, as the next thing he knew was that Riley was straddling his legs and kissing him like it was going out of fashion.
The force of Kai’s laugh broke the embrace, but even as their mouths broke apart he wrapped his arms around Riley’s waist. “I take it that’s a yes?”
Riley ran his hands through Kai’s hair, down his neck, across his shoulders and down his arms. There was a certain reverence to the motion. “I’ve fancied you forever,” he said bashfully. “I’m worried I’m delirious and this is all a fever dream.”
“Forever, huh?” Kai grinned. That wasn’t too shabby on the old ego. But he sobered up, giving Riley’s lips a sweet peck. “I always thought you were pretty cool too,” he admitted. “Although I definitely didn’t fancy you until now. That would have been weird.”
Riley laughed and rubbed the last of his tears away. “Yeah, very true. You’re forgiven. But you fancy me now, right?”
Something hot and intense washed through Kai, and he slid his hands down Riley’s back to cup his backside firmly. “Most definitely,” he growled. “Do you want me to show you how much?”
Riley moaned. “Oh fuck, yes.”
31
Riley
This couldn’t be real, surely?
Riley was lost in the kiss, in the feel of Kai’s big hands holding his sides, in his cock swelling under his arse.
All those late night fantasies, all those teenage wet dreams. Guys like Riley didn’t get to have their fairy-tale endings, did they? The world couldn’t be that fair.
And yet here Kai Brandt was, big and firm underneath him for the second time in less than twelve hours.
Riley had almost sabotaged this once thanks to his nasty doubts. He wasn’t going to fall prey to them again, so he pushed them aside, wholly determined to live in the moment and enjoy the now.
A quick glance told him Bia had taken herself off to safety once they’d considerably diminished the space she’d been occupying in their laps. Good; their laps were no longer a pet-friendly zone. She could just indulge in a little nap while Riley explored his man’s impressive body under the cool morning sunshine.
Was he really his man now? He’d asked to see him once they went back home after the holiday, and they still have five days of that to spend together as well. Farnborough wasn’t that far from London, just half an hour out of Waterloo, so that meant-
“Oh.”
Kai’s hand on his crotch was pretty hard to ignore, even through the material of his shorts. “Hello,” Kai said devilishly. “I felt like I didn’t have all of your attention.”
Riley grinned into his mouth. “Sorry,” he rasped. “You’ve got it now, I swear.”
“Good.” Kai walked them up, still half carrying Riley in an impressive display of strength. He maneuvered them away from the pebbled beach and laid Riley carefully down on the grass. “Is that okay?”
Riley fidgeted and flicked a couple of stones from out behind his back, then nodded. His heart was pounding so loud he could barely hear himself as he answered it was great. They were further away from Bia now, but she looked to be asleep with her head away from them. It was stupid, but he really wasn’t comfortable getting it on with her watching, so hopefully she’d stay that way until they were done.
The realisation hit him that they were about to have sex again. He would never have imagined this in his wildest dreams. The most he’d ever dared let himself fantasise was the possibility of a drunken one off. Not this sober, lust-filled love-making.
This was better than last night. He knew it was real. Kai had assured him he liked him for exactly who he was, he knew he was entirely male and he still wanted him. The head rush was more intoxicating than any of the cocktails he could whip up back at the camp.
Last night he’d adored manhandling Kai beneath him. He’d never taken charge with a masc guy like Kai before; he’d hardly taken charge with anyone. But now, he just wanted to lie back and feel all of Kai’s substantial weight pinning him down, claiming him.
“I’m not being funny,” said Kai between kisses. He was fumbling with Riley’s fly again and making quite a meal of it, but it was adorable so it was okay. Honestly, how had the man ever coped with a bra?
“But what?” Riley asked. It was a little tricky trying to kiss while wearing such a shit-eating grin, but he was doing his best. It was still so early and they were hidden by the hills rising around the lake, so he yanked Kai’s top off again.
“Not being funny,” Kai said again. “Yeah, but, you do realise I’m like a kid with a new toy. I’m going to play with it non-stop. You’re going to get sick of me.”
As his calloused fingers slipped through the slit in his boxers and found his erection, Riley moaned wantonly, his head lolling to the side. “I seriously doubt that,” he panted. If Kai wanted to fuck like rabbits, Riley would happily walk crooked for the rest of his days.
“Too many clothes,” he grunted impatiently.
Kai laughed, but he got the message. Between the two of them, they kicked and shoved at everything until they were once more skin to glorious skin.
Riley dug his fingers into the backs of Kai’s thighs, urging him upwards. “Please,” he begged. Kai seemed to get the picture.
He crawled up Riley’s body and angled the tip of his hard, uncut cock towards Riley’s hungry mouth. How many times had he dreamed of tasting Kai like this? His dick was just like he’d imagined too; substantial, but not monstrous. Riley knew he’d be happy to switch with Kai, that he’d trust him whatever they were doing. And right now, he was urging him to fuck his face.
“Ohmygod,” Kai slurred, his gaze unwavering as he watched Riley swallow him. He didn’t take too much, only about half, sliding it against his lips and tongue and cheek. The rest he wrapped his hand around and squeezed. “Fuck Riley, fuck. You look amazing. I can’t believe you’re blowing me. You’re gorgeous – don’t stop, don’t stop.”
Riley sucked down and ran his tongue over the sensitive tip. He’d always been a bit self-conscious about giving head, but from the looks of Kai’s face, he was doing an okay job. But then Kai shook his head and pulled out.
“No, want to-” he stammered. “Together, I want to, toge
ther.”
He didn’t seem sure what to do, but Riley thought he maybe understood, and there was a simple solution he could offer.
“Here,” he said, gently pushing on Kai’s shoulders. They wriggled until they were lined up again, kissing, their cocks rubbing against one another, and Riley wrapped his hand around them both.
Kai cried into his mouth, nodding and bashing his teeth against Riley’s lip. “Yes,” he whimpered.
It didn’t take long. It wasn’t as epic as their night before, but it felt truer. In probably less than a minute of sweaty, messy thrusting, Kai started coming, his orgasm making his back arch and press his hips against Riley. Riley rutted against him, chasing his own release, relieved as it crashed through him moments later.
Thankfully, Kai didn’t collapse on top of him, but had the presence of mind to thump on the grass to Riley’s right side, then scoop him up in his arms for a sticky hug. It appeared Kai Brandt was a cuddler, and the part of Riley that wasn’t totally shattered did a little happy dance. He’d be more than willing to give himself up to those large arms and solid chest whenever Kai demanded it.
“Urgh, I’m gross,” Riley declared with a groan. “Happy, sated, but pretty disgusting.”
“Hmm,” said Kai, pulling his limp body on top of him as they both laughed. “Yes, repulsive, I’ve got no idea what I see in you.”
His slow kisses told another, delicious story.
How many hours was Riley going to get to explore this expansive body? He laced open-mouthed kisses down his neck and across his collarbones, hoping the answer would be ‘a lot’.
“Hmm, don’t start me off again,” Kai protested weakly. Riley chuckled into the hollow of his throat.
“You wish, old man,” he teased wickedly.
Kai grabbed his shoulders to push him back, arching his eyebrow. “Oh, you’re paying for that.”
He rolled over so he was on top, then wrapped his arms around Riley’s body and hoisted them both up. Riley shrieked, hastily hugging his legs around Kai’s waist. He caught one of his tattered ankles and flinched, but as soon as Kai paused he shook his head vigorously. “I’m fine, I’m fine,” he croaked. He desperately didn’t want to stop their fun. “I’m a bad boy, remember? Who needs punishing.”