Love Is Blind
Copyright Kimaya Mathews 2013
Published at Smashwords
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Discover other titles by Kimaya:
Love Through Cobra’s Eye 1
Love Through Cobra’s Eye 2
Love Through Cobra’s Eye 3
Love Through Cobra’s Eye 4
Love Through Cobra’s Eye 5
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Eyes closed, head bowed with lips moving, I muttered my prayer. Christmas time in Nainital is always like this, cold, snowy and chilling to the core. Though the inside of the church is all quiet and calm, still a sudden restlessness had spread in my entire system. Done with my evening prayer, opening my eyes, searching for my walking stick which always is by my side, taking it in my firm grip, I made my way out of the cathedral. Life is not fair, somebody had said once and in the situations like these, I cannot doubt on those words. As a cold stingy wind caressed my cheek, I tucked myself deeper in my leather jacket. One of the main disadvantages of being blind is, apart from not seeing anything; you are depended on others even for your most miniature work! I had taken another step when someone took me by my hand, and started directing my way. “Ruhi,” I said, as if confirming the identity of the person. “Yes,” she said, “it is me honey, you alright?” “Yes,” I exhaled, “I am fine. Tired, though” “And why won’t you be, pray?” she asked, “You have not rested from yesterday, not even taken a nap or something. What with all those gifts distribution to the orphans? You are all over yourself over those kids.” “They have no one in this world, Ru” I said,” At least by doing this, I am giving them some hope to live. “I am over with these do-gooder things of yours,” she said, the end of discussion.
Sonam Campbell, it is me! A prostitutes daughter with an unknown father, whose only fault is being a girl, a blind girl! Kanpur’s red light area, where the brothels in their days of glory flourished, where even if the sombre person entered, then he too is considered a kind of pimp, is the area where my unknown mother had mated with so many of her customers. When she became pregnant, she herself had no idea regarding the identity of the breeder.
Then one day, when the destruction spread and police raided the area capturing and hand-cuffing many of the “Suppliers, call girls and their so-called, customers”, my mother took off with some rich businessman and left me to my fate. Of course, I had no idea how and when I came to St. Mary’s Orphanage Nainital, but as I am being told by Sister Catherine. One of the cop sympathised on my condition and immediately took me under his guardianship, in other words, humanity had not being swiped off completely from the face of the earth! But because, man himself had a family to take care of, signing as my guardian is a big deal. He could not fully take my responsibility and so he left me in the care of these Holy-sisters’s, who gave me a name, a religion and a life to cherish. Being a blind girl, I was given a special education but I know of just one area where I actually could use my talent, music. Today, along with the season of Christmas, it was my birthday too. The person walking next to me was my friend, Ruhi Kamra. I had no idea about her appearance but this, she was the first person in the whole college, who had actually walked up to me and registered me in her best friend list. Ruhi is the only child in her entire family. Her dad is the only living parent. Mom had died long ago, probably cancer being the reason. After walking for some minutes in silence, I felt something being folded in my palms as she said, “Oh well, before I forget, happy birthday.” “What-what is this?” I asked, as I fumbled my both hands together and came in contact with something soft and furry. “It is a shawl. I remember you telling me about the last one, which had lost its shiny and furry qualities. So, I thought to get this one for you.” “Thanks,” I smiled as I touched it again. Ruhi always knows what I want.
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I was sleeping in a deep slumber when, out of nowhere, a sudden sound, which sounded like my ringtone, woke me up. Searching around, my hand came in contact with a hard metal thing. Guessing my way on the answering button again, as I had done so many times before, finally I pressed and held it to my ear, “Hello,” my voice still raw as the cobwebs of fuzziness still cling to my brain. Who is calling at such a late hour? “Mita,” said the speaker, “I love you, I do. Talk to me once, please” “Excuse me,” I said, getting confused, “I am sorry, this is the wrong number you have dialled.”I hit the red button and went back to my sleep, five minutes later the phone rang again. I picked it and heard that voice again, “I know you are ignoring me. You did not even come to meet me today. At least tell me where does my fault lie? Mita, don’t do this to me sweetheart, tell me. How can you do this to your Bobby, girl…?” Truth be told, till that time my patience level had left me. In utter rage, I said, “Listen Mr Bobby, I am not your Mita, nor do I know any Mita. I am telling you again and again this is the wrong number but, it seems, you are not paying any attention to me. This is wrong number.” I was going to cut the line when, something in the voice halted me. “Don’t cut the phone, you hear me. If you do that, you will regret.” “Oh please,” I said, and without thinking further, snapped my phone shut, this time switching it off. People like these. They have no other work but to play pranks like these with the world, at such a wrong time.
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One of the perks of being a teacher is you feel the utmost satisfaction when you are guiding the future generation. You are helping them in becoming someone, you will be proud of. I was a story teller teacher, in my class. My students were like me, unable to see the world and painting it in the colours of black! My only job was to teach them good songs, tell them moralistic stories which had been taught to me in my childhood. Once I had thought to choose the path of sisterhood. But, when I came to know the difficulties which lay in the path of mine, I dropped the idea. I am a great admirer of holy bible. Sister Kusum had recorded every psalm, every gospel in a mini tape for my hearing. Christian music is my favourite genre. So, in my usual routine way, I was busy telling one of the stories from the bible, when a knock from the door side halted me in my tracks. “May I come in mam?” “Yes,” I smiled recognising Ruhi’s voice at once. Class greeted her, as she entered. “Sit down,” she said, and then turned to me. “Can I have some of your precious time? I need you to accompany me somewhere,” she whispered near my ear. She sounded so serious and worried too. Class had started murmuring in them, having their normal children talk.” What is it?” I asked, “Everything’s alright,” “No,” she said, “Come with me outside. I will explain everything.”
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After some minutes of our conversation, I seated myself in her car and felt the vehicle speeding up on the smooth hilly road. The news she had delivered was a grave one. One of her friend had tried to commit suicide and had been admitted to the hospital. Sir Vishwanath Makhija, the attorney of the Nainital district was Ruhi’s family-friend. Ruhi and his son, someone named Suraj, are childhood buddies, as she told me. Some years ago, this boy named Suraj fell in love with one of his college friend, Kiran. Both of them were known to be the most happening and a glorious couple of the college. Their relationship went on for two successful years, but as they say that sometime
s too much of happiness also, cannot be taken in by the lord almighty. As fate may have it, just before the day when the two people were about to get bonded in the eternal knot of marriage, Kiran’s car went colliding with a loading truck, thereby resulting in her death! Everyone went in a shock, but wounded one was Suraj! He was completely, shattered by the whole incident. “He went in the state of comatose, for two months. He had lost every hope of living. Nobody, not even his own dad, could re-kindle the fire back in his soul. Losing his first love was too hard for him to take in. “Especially, when like me, he too had lost his mother before he had even said the word ‘mom’” she said, and I could feel her weeping for the boy. Of course, I thought, this explains everything. Losing his lady-love must have instigated the boy to take the terrible step of ending his own life. I still was reeling in my own thoughts when Ruhi spoke again,
“But you know, what the worst thing is? Suraj still thinks that Kiran is alive, as in, physically alive and not just in his heart.” “What!” I nearly shouted. Ok, that was kind of freaky. I mean kind of psychic person! I shivered, from tip to toe. “He is still in that trance state, you know. Not able to digest the news of the crash, so easily.” “It will take time,” I said, “It’s Ok.”
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Till the time, Ruhi met with her friend, I passed my time by sitting outside of the room and thinking on various matters, all of them which centred on mysterious phone call I had got last night, from the anonymous caller who called himself Bobby. It was something in that voice of the person but what exactly; I could not keep my finger on it. “Hello,” a whispery voice intruded on my train of thoughts. “Who is this?” I asked, as I searched for the speaker by spreading my hands. “Sorry, are you Ruhi’s friend? Sonam?” “Yes,” I said but kept on searching with my hand. An old wrinkled hand curled up around mine and I heard the tone again,
“I am Vishwanath Makhija, Suraj’s father, the person who is…” “Lying inside the ICU?” I smiled, and said, “It’s alright uncle. Ruhi told me everything about him, His love, Kiran…” I went silent. Shit, I should not have said anything! “It’s Ok, kid.” He said, “I know about both of them. I think Ruhi told you about it.” “Yes,” I bit down on my lower lip. God, I looked so dumb right now.
“So,” he spoke again, “You are blind, ha?” “Unfortunately, Yes.” I said, with no sadness in my voice. Somehow blindness felt like a boon to me rather than being a curse. I think many people will call this a silly notion on my part but, I believe, that it had helped me in being safe from all the vices and the sins of the world. I could not see which had helped in making my other senses extra attentive to my surrounding activities. As I delved in these thoughts of mine, the old man continued, “Suraj is my only child, Sonam. I tried to be his mother and father both, from his childhood but, now it seems, as if I have failed on both accounts. When Sumitra, his mother passed away, it appeared as if every kind of happiness had left our household.
Kiran entered Suraj’s life, lightening it in the ways I had never thought. She was his morning sun, the bright sunshine in my poor boy’s life. Now, when she too, has left him, he is doomed, literally.” “How many years passed since the accident took place?” I didn’t want to ask this question but, the man was so open,I could not resist the question. “Two years, exactly” he said, having distant sound in his voice. “He is blessed with a father like you, uncle.” I said, as I wrapped my other hand around his, “There are many kids like me in this cruel world, who are not just physically handicapped but are also unwanted by their own parents. I have more reasons with me to grieve but, as Sister Kusum say, if we keep on mourning about our past then we won’t be able to live in our future. A man who will keep on regretting the things he did in his past, he will never be happy and one should keep on searching for the reasons to be happy because so few of them actually, exists in today’s world.” I paused, thinking that I have started with my preaching of bible teaching’s again! “You are a wise girl, Sonam.” I heard some amusement in his voice. “Can you tell those things to him too?” he asked, “Who?” I felt my brows creasing in frown, “Suraj,” he said. On cue, someone tapped on my shoulder, “Sonu, why don’t you go inside and sit near Suraj? He is sleeping right now, but hopefully will be awake soon.” “Ru,” I said, as I got up from my seat, with her hand around my arm. “Sure, I will. Leave me till the room, ok and do keep uncle accompanied.” “Yes, mam” came some chuckling on her part as she led me to the direction of the ICU. Taking me inside the room, I heard a small creaking sound from the chair on which I sat, as she whispered in my ear, “Sit here, OK. I will order some refreshment from canteen, alright.” “How will I get to know, if he is waking up or not?” “You will come to know,” saying that, she left me.
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I don’t know how much time passed by me but something pulled me out of my dozing state. I guess, I must have slept, when a husky voice called, straightening myself up, I heard, “Kiran,” came the whimper, more like a moan. As if the boy recalled his condition and all the incidents that had taken place, I heard him shifting on the bed and coughing, and then a big sigh of exhalation before the question popped out of his mouth, “ Who are you? Where is Ruhi?” not a friendly sort of person, I thought as I cleared my throat and said, “Ruhi is getting some eatables from the canteen. I am her friend, Sonam.” There was silence for some moments.
He must have realised his way of speaking because I heard a little note of remorse in that voice of his, before he said, “Hi, I am Suraj.” “I know,” I smiled a little as I added further; “You are the latest topic of conversation these days between your father and Ruhi.” a small sound of giggle left his mouth, as he said, “You are one weird girl. I am extending my hand in front of you and all you can do is sit back and smile. Are you blind?” I kept a hand on my mouth, so as to stifle my own laughter. Silly boy, I thought. Giggling unto myself, I said, “Yes, I am blind. Can’t you see, silly?” He must be in shock. Thinking that I am jesting, I heard him speaking. “How many fingers are these?” “Are you deaf?” I asked, as I shook with laughter, this time not being able to control myself. “I said, I am blind and all you can do is asking me to count your fingers. I can’t, till the time I actually feel them against my own hands.” finally convinced of my blindness, his guilty tone was back. “I am sorry, I really am. I thought you were joking.” “Why would I joke on something like that?” I asked. “So, you are Ruhi’s friend?” he asked, as if amused by the mere fact. “Yes,” I said, there was silence again. Neither of us knew what to say next.
“Suraj,” I said, “We have just met, and being a stranger I have no right to say anything in your personal matters. Life is the most precious gift given to us by Lord Almighty. You should not discard it by killing yourself. I know little about your life but you have so much worth living for, then you think you do. Live for your dad, for the people who love you so much.” “Yes,” he sighed, “It was a very stupid thing on my part. Kiran got so much offended by this act. I will have to apologise to her too.” Oh my God, I thought, the boy took the girl as alive! “Suraj,” I said, “Kiran is…” “Oh,” Ruhi came behind me, “So, you awake? Are you troubling my friend?” she asked as she came to my side and handed me a cold beverage in my grip.
As I took a sip of the chilled juice from the can by the help of the straw, he said, “I would not even dare.” Humour was clearly evident in that voice of his. “Just getting myself familiarised with her, I will see more of her in future, won’t I, Sonam?” I was thrown off by this statement of his. What, I thought, what was that? Without reading too much in the sentence of his, I smiled and nodded in agreement. “Yes,” I said, “We will.” “After all,” he concluded the meeting with these words, “we are friends now and Kiran will be most delighted after meeting you, won’t she Ruhi?” Ruhi’s grip tightened on my shoulder, as she said in the pure delighted masquerade, “Of course, she will”
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“This is wrong,” I said, as I tightened the blanket hold around my shoulder. Ruhi was sitting beside me, on my bed. Clock had struck eight in the evening, and after finishing my dinner, Ruhi and I, had our after dinner conversation.
My head had been spinning today with that meeting. Suraj is on the precipice of losing his sane mind, I am sure. But the thing, which really had me shaken to the core, Ruhi and his father, were not helping him in waking up from the slumber where his mind had stumbled upon. He was not at all ready to take this reality that Kiran was no more, still breathing in that hallucination. “You should do something Ru,” I said, “Please, don’t let the boy fall off his mental balance. Wake him up.” “I tried,” her voice sounded helpless, even wobbly, as she continued, “Even uncle tried, but every time, we tell him something like that, he gets all in rage, furious, even violent. This suicide attempt was his second one.” “Second one?” I got alert, “You don’t mean…” “Yes,” she sighed, “Yesterday, after I have gone back home. I went to his house where I saw him painting on his old canvass. He was painting Kiran’s old photo. I got all boiled up inside. In my rage, I tore the thing and yelled at him, shook him, shouted on top of my lungs that she is dead and she is not coming back…” she stopped, as I heard her taking a hiccup. Moistening her throat by gulping some water, she spoke again, “And the result of this, he is in the ICU today. I feel, as if it is my entire fault for dumping the reality on him, he is already hurting so much. I believe, deep inside he knows what the reality is but, he does not want to accept the thing.” “But, he will have to” I said, “Someday; he will have to accept it.” I could just hope that the day will come earlier than expected.
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Night fell and spread its blanket over all the living beings. Sleep came late to me so; I was thrown on the floor when I heard my phone ringtone, again. I searched through my pillow’s side, when I laid my hands on it. Pressing the green button, I said, “Hello,” “Mita, is this you? People say, you will no longer talk to me but I know you well enough, sweetheart. You again, didn’t turned up today in the park, when you promised me that you will come. Mita, don’t do this to me. I am begging you. I’ll die. Right now, a gun is kept near my head. If you disconnect the line, I will press the trigger and the shot will split my head in two.”
Love Is Blind Page 1