I unlocked the front door. It was only now I realised I had left my t-shirt on the bedroom floor. Fuck it. This is what happens when you come to someone’s house this late at night. I opened the front door and my heart stopped. It was Clarissa. She was wearing a beautiful violet coloured dress. Had she just come back off her date?
‘Hey.’
‘Clarissa, what are you doing here?’ My words were slightly slurred.
‘You’re drunk?’ She chuckled. ‘I thought I would come over and see you.’
‘What about your date with Tyler?’
‘It is over.’ She was smiling from ear to ear. ‘I went out with him. It was a pleasant evening, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I couldn’t stop thinking about the things you said. You are right. This is a no brainer. You and I should be together. We don’t have to date. We were made for each other. I told Tyler that I wanted to be with you. I am here because I want to be with you...’
My heart sank down into the pit of my stomach.
‘Hello,’ said Isabella from behind me.
I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me.
Clarissa opened her mouth to talk, but no words came out. She glanced at me and then Isabella. Isabella was dressed in one of my t-shirts, which was slightly too big for her and reached about half-way down her silky thighs. This situation didn’t look good no matter how you looked at it. Isabella and I were half naked. Clarissa turned around and walked away.
‘I will be right back,’ I told Isabella, as I followed Clarissa out.
Clarissa was quick stepping towards her car.
She got inside the car, slammed the door, and started the engine.
‘Clarissa, wait.’
‘Fuck you, Logan,’ she snapped angrily. ‘Fuck you and your fucking whore.’
‘This...’ This isn’t what it seems? It was exactly what it seems. ‘I thought you were with Tyler.’
‘How could you do this to me? I actually thought you loved me.’ The car pulled away from the curb and sped off down the street.
‘But... I do love you.’
What have I done?
Chapter Forty-Seven: The Day the World Ends
***
My heart was beating so hard that it felt like it might burst out through my ribcage. I tried to swallow, but my mouth was dry. A cold shiver ran down the full length of my spine. The atmosphere felt so tense and morbid. The stench of death seemed to hang over me like some kind of foreboding rain cloud. The edges of my vision were blurred. I glanced down at my hands. They were dripping in blood. Unconsciously, I wiped my hands against my shirt. Panic was starting to set it.
‘The end is coming,’ spoke a soft female voice.
I looked into the darkness that surrounded me. It was like I was floating in deep space. There was nothing around me. I could see no ground, no sky, no buildings or structures. I was in a black void of nothingness. A faint click reached my ears. It sounded like someone pulling on the cord of a bathroom light. A light bulb, appearing to hang from the darkness, illuminated a small section of the void. My eyes widened with shock. A sickening sensation filled my stomach. A dead body lay upon the ground. The head had been crushed. Blood, snot and brain matter dripped out like some kind of leaky tap.
‘Logan, look what I have,’ said Samantha. My ex-girlfriend was standing in the darkness behind me. She was wearing a long white dress. The dress seemed to glow. It was like the very fabric was created by light. She held a baby within her arms. I could feel my heart breaking, as the baby cried. I could see its little hands reaching up into the air. I watched in horror, as tears of blood dripped out of Samantha’s eyes and fell down upon the baby. This wasn’t like normal tears. It was like watching someone pour a cup of red paint down her face. The baby was drowning in the blood. ‘I killed my baby for you. It was all for you. I love you, Logan.’
A gunshot rang like a church bell.
I spun one hundred and eight degrees and looked in the direction of the sound.
I nearly vomited.
A man was sitting in a leather chair. His face had been completely removed. All that remained was blood, gore, brains and bones. His lifeless body was sitting limp, as a smoking gun hung with the grasp of his hand. Had this man just shot himself in the face? Why would he do that? What was going on here? What did this mean?
‘No!’ A voice screamed out of the darkness. ‘No!’
Was that me?
‘No!’ The one word rang over and over like the toll of a bell. ‘No! No! No! No!’ Flashing lights forced away the darkness and the voice. I raised a hand to shield my eyes. The lights were so bright. What was going on? I turned away and looked in the other direction, but still the lights continued to flash. Suddenly, the lights disappeared. I stood alone in the centre of the black void. There was nothing around me. There was no bodies, no blood, no Samantha, no baby, no lights. I was alone in a silent darkness. It was then that a strange sense of peace and tranquillity seemed to blossom like a flower within the depths of my body. It felt nice.
‘You can do this,’ said a voice in my ear.
Who said that?
‘You can do this.’
I can do what?
‘You can do this.’
What am I supposed to do? No one has told me? I am not ready for this.
‘You CAN do this.’
You need to tell me what I have to do.
‘YOU CAN DO THIS!’
Chapter Forty-Eight: The Hug
***
‘So, what do you want to do today?’ Isabella hugged me from behind. It was such a loving and genuine cuddle. I stroked my hand along her forearm, as she placed her chin upon my shoulder. ‘Do you want me to get out of your hair? I can go if you have books to work on.’ She sounded so cute when she was uncertain and nervous. Unconsciously, I turned to face her. She looked like an angel that had been sent down from heaven. I cupped her gorgeous face within my hands and lifted her lips towards me. I kissed her. It was one of those kisses that stopped time. It felt right.
‘What do you want to do today?’ I countered with a question of my own.
‘I would like to stay with you.’ She looked nervously towards the floor. ‘That’s if you want me to.’
I kissed her a second time.
‘I want you to stay. I warn you. It is going to be a bit boring. This is where you find out I am not as exciting as you think I am.’
‘Don’t be daft.’ She wrapped her arms around my torso and hugged me again. It had been so long since I had actually held someone. Clarissa and I had hot sex, but we never held each other. Samantha and I used to hold each other. It was a sign of affection. It was one of those little things you did when you wanted to be near a person you had strong emotional feelings for. Isabella really did care about me. It felt nice to feel loved. I placed my hand upon the back of her head and held her close. ‘I am happy just being near you. We don’t have to do anything. I just want to spend time with you.’
‘When is your husband home?’
I could feel her tense up at the question.
‘He will be back about mid-day, but I might be able to come out for an hour or so a little later.’
‘So, I have you until lunch time?’
‘You can have me anyway you want.’
‘Don’t tempt me.’
‘I don’t need to tempt you.’ She looked up into my eyes. ‘I am yours, Logan. You are the only man I want to be with. I am in love with you.’
She was in love with me?
I could see she really meant it. I could feel the aura of love that surrounded her very existence. When she looked upon me it was like I was wrapped in a protective bubble of love and happiness. Isabella wasn’t just saying what I wanted to hear. She actually meant these words. I could feel a warm glow in the centre of my chest. She is married, but maybe this is possible. Could Isabella and I really work? Could Isabella be the woman I am supposed to be with? Did I love her?
Chapter Forty-Nine: Countdown
/>
***
I carried the painting up the stairs. It looked a bit weird having it lying around the house. Isabella had asked one or two question, but I had managed to shrug them off. I had already tucked the shoebox with the gun beneath my bed. The shower hummed loudly through the bathroom door. Isabella and I had worked up quite a sweat this morning. It was nice spending the start of the day with her. It felt normal. I had forgotten what having breakfast and normal conversation with a woman was like. Clarissa and I talked, but it always ended up with us fucking. Did I really have feelings for her? Was I blinded by lust and passion? There was no denying we were good friends. I gave my head a quick shake. I was just trying to justify what I did last night. There was no excuse for what happened. Clarissa and I were going to go on a date and try to make this work, but I had ended up in bed with Isabella. I cannot blame my decision on alcohol. I should have known better. It is just that I do have feelings for Isabella, too. I didn’t know Clarissa was going to dump Tyler and come to my house. I couldn’t have predicted that in a million years. I don’t know what I am going to do about Clarissa. I don’t know what I am going to do about Isabella. It is just nice to feel loved. It is nice to know someone cares for me. Is it a coincidence that all this is happening today? The day when the world is supposed to end? It doesn’t feel like the world is going to end. I actually feel happy. I feel good about today. This is the most content and relaxed I have felt about my life in a long time. Isabella has restored the calm and tranquillity to my soul. I know she is married, but we can work through this. We will be together. I just want today to be over with, so I can put these stupid dreams behind me and focus on starting a new life with Isabella.
Chapter Fifty: The Morning Walk
***
Bird songs echoed throughout the canopy above. Isabella and I walked hand in hand down the country lane. I could feel the heat on the back of my neck from the baking sun. There was not a single cloud in the sky. It was a beautiful summer’s day and I was spending it with such a special woman. Isabella hadn’t stopped smiling all morning. It was infectious. I felt so good to be near her. Lucy zigzagged across the path in front of us, smelling all the various bushes and the markings left by other dogs.
‘You are so lucky, Logan.’
‘I am?’
‘Yes. This is such a wonderful place to live. Do you walk here every day?’
‘I tend to walk Lucy twice a day. She is getting on a bit now, which means sometimes we only go for one walk in the winter, as her legs get a little stiff. On days like today we generally go out twice. I take her here, as it is on our doorstep, but sometimes we go down the beach. It is really peaceful and relaxing down there.’
‘You will have to show me sometime.’
‘I would love to. There is no rush. You will see it a lot when you are my girlfriend.’
‘Aren’t I your girlfriend already?’
‘You are still married.’
‘I know...’ she sounded sad. ‘I decided to tell him that I have found someone else. I will wait until he goes away this weekend and then pack up my gear and move in with my parents. I will phone him when he returns and tell him it is over. You and I can then be boyfriend and girlfriend.’ She gave my hand a little squeeze. ‘I always dreamed of meeting a caring man like you, Logan.’
I kissed her upon the forehead.
She did say the cutest things.
‘Can I ask you a question?’
‘You can ask me anything,’ I replied.
‘Who was that woman last night?’
A cold shiver ran down my spine. How did I describe my relationship with Clarissa? How did I explain what she meant to me? I could exactly tell her that we were fuck buddies, how shallow and horrible would that make me look? I had to pick my words carefully. I didn’t want to ruin this relationship, too.
‘That was my friend, Clarissa.’
‘She is just a friend?’
‘Well...’ I hesitated slightly. I let out a deep sigh. Honesty was the best policy. There was no way I could even attempt a relationship with Isabella if it was built upon a foundation of lies. ‘Clarissa and I have known each other for a very long time. We have had an off and on relationship for many years. Recently, we have been talking about going on a few dates and seeing how things get on. I agreed to go out with her after I found out you were married. I think I was so upset that I thought you betrayed and tricked me I just wanted someone’s company.’
‘I can understand that. Finding out I was married must have been a shock for you. Why was she so upset with you last night?’
‘We had agreed to go out this weekend. It was to be our first official date. Last night, she was on a date with her ex-boyfriend Tyler. She loves him and the two of them are constantly breaking up with each other. The guy is a bit of a dick. I didn’t expect to see her last night. In truth, I thought she would end up in bed with Tyler and the two of them would work it out. I didn’t think she would come around to my house to confess she wanted to be with me.’
Isabella stopped in her tracks.
‘She wants to be with you?’
‘Yes.’
‘That was why she stormed off when she saw me?’
‘Yes.’ I looked towards the ground.
‘Does she love you?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Do you love her?’
I replied by shrugging my shoulders. ‘I don’t know.’
‘Do you love me...?’ This time it was her turn to break eye contact.
‘Honestly?’
She nodded her head.
‘I don’t know.’ I could tell from the disappointed look upon her face that she was upset by this answer. ‘I told you all about my ex-girlfriend Samantha.’
‘Yes.’
‘You know what she did to me?’
‘I do.’
‘It is so difficult for me to trust anyone. It is hard for me to put myself out there. I don’t know if I will be able to ever fully trust someone after what she did. She killed my baby. The last few weeks you and I have been talking for hours on end. We talk all freaking night.’ Isabella giggled. ‘We talk about our lives, our loves, our hates, our interests and our families. We can talk for hours on end about pointless things. How many other couples can do that? I am crazy about you. You are a really friendly, kind, fun, intelligent, interesting and such a sexy woman. I love talking to you. I love being in your company. I was so excited about our date. I never thought we would end up in bed together. I was so happy by what we did, but when your husband turned up I thought you were just like Samantha. I thought that maybe I was just a play thing to you.’
‘That was never my intention.’
‘I know this now. I am crazy about you. I really am. I just need time. I need time to get my head around the fact you are married. I need to build up trust. It was just a shock to the system.’
‘I do love you,’ said Isabella. ‘These are not just words. I do love you. You make me happy. I am not going anywhere, Logan. I am going to leave my husband. I am going to be with you. I will spend every single day proving to you how much I love you. I know you will love me back. I will earn your trust.’
Chapter Fifty-One: The World Goes On
***
I pushed the shopping trolley down the aisle, as I searched for a bag of dog biscuits. Lucy was at that age where I had to get a special kind. She had a very sensitive stomach. Isabella had returned home to her husband. She would play the innocent housewife for a couple of hours. I would see her tonight at some point. In a few days she would leave her husband. I think I will believe that our relationship is possible when that actually happens. Actions speak louder than words.
I found the biscuits and placed them into the trolley.
I ticked “dog biscuits” off the mental shopping list in my head. Next on the list was wine. I wanted to get something nice to share with Isabella. I turned left at the end of the aisle and walked by a row of checkouts. A young brunette smiled po
litely, as she walked on by. I smiled back. The voice of doubted started to grow louder in the back of my mind, was this really the day the world was going to end? It didn’t seem possible, or realistic. I had been counting down the days in my dreams. Every single night I would dream of the world ending. A voice would tell me I had X amount of days left. I really believed that it was going to happen. I thought some kind of nuclear war would happen and the world would be changed once and for all. As I look around the super store I don’t see how it is possible. Nothing has happened in the news. No one is worrying about the global situation. Yes. The economy is fucked, but people aren’t walking around like the world is about to end. People are going about their daily lives.
Was I wrong?
Are my predictions nothing more than graphic dreams?
Are my dreams nothing more than my brain trying to process the events in my life?
Have I given these dreams such power over me?
What about Brendan? Was meeting him a coincidence? How could we both dream the exact same things if they were not real? Why haven’t other people been dreaming the same thing? Has a single person in this super store ever dreamed about the end of the world? Why was it only Brendan and I? It just doesn’t seem possible. It doesn’t feel like the end of the world. I sometimes feel a sense of dread hanging over me, but today I feel good. I feel happy to be alive. I am going to be starting a new relationship with Isabella. This is a step forward in the right direction.
A thought occurred to me.
Are my dreams about the end of the world?
My dreams could be about the start of a new life?
Yes. My life with Samantha has finally come to an end. Isabella could be what the dreams are about. It cannot be a random occurrence that she is now in my life. The woman looks like she should be a movie star. She is funny, cute, intelligent and interesting. She is everything and more. I sometimes wonder why she is with me. I am nobody. I am nothing. Is this what the dreams are about? Have I had the interpretations wrong? It wasn’t about the world ending. It was about starting my new life with Isabella.
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