by C. A. Harms
Even though my eyes are pooling with them, I never shed even one while I was on the phone with the cheating bastard who has flipped my world upside down. Or so it feels like since the day I walked out of the church and left behind the image of my wedding, or what it was supposed to be.
"He doesn't deserve my tears," I add, focusing on breathing calmly.
"Or your anger," when Addison whispers the words, it's the snapping of the final string that holds me together. Closing my eyes, I give into the burning emotions inside of me, and for a few short minutes, I quietly sob. Not for him, not for my sister, but for me, I cry for me. I cry for the life envisioned, the rejection of being left behind, and the years I wasted being someone I wasn't.
"Are you up for a few drinks tonight?" I need a distraction.
"Martini's?" Our favorite quiet place to drink.
"Six o'clock?"
"You know it," without Addi on my side; I can honestly say I have no idea where I would be. She holds me up when I want to cave, and she pushes me forward when all I want is to hide. "Leave tonight up to me."
She ended the call before I had the chance to ask for details. I know her well enough to know she has an agenda. The last time she planned a night and invited me along, I found myself being kissed stupid in a parking lot by a hot orthodontist. A dreamy orthodontist who then offered to be my hookup whenever I needed him to be.
Tucking my phone in my pocket, I turn around and begin walking along the storefronts of Malcolm Drive, feeling better after my talk with Addison and my moment of weakness. I spend the day shopping, buying more things than I need, but retail therapy is good. Especially when I still possess a credit card on a shared account with a certain bastard who is dumb enough to not cancel the card.
A few dresses here, some matching shoes there, and of course, you need to accessorize. What's a new outfit without matching jewelry and lipstick? I don't even pay attention to price tags, because well, it isn't my money. My day was on my ex fiancé and his newfound love. I know without a doubt Matthew will pay the bill. Then he'd cancel the card or at least mine, and I'd be okay with that because the money will already be spent, and I'll have pretty things that can't be taken back.
Hours later, standing in my living room, looking at the mass amount of bags, I laugh. Hysterically bent over, holding my stomach, kind of laughing. I'm a mess, and I don't care, because for the first time in a long time, I feel like I've gained some revenge.
Six-fifteen I'm walking into Margarita's, wearing my new casual A-line olive-green dress. The skirt hits mid-thigh, and I've matched it with a cute pair of tan strappy sandals. There's a heel, which gives me height and shows off my legs even more. I'm an avid runner as well as an addict of spin classes, so if I work for it, I need to show it off. And for far too long I've been hiding all my hard work under what I thought was a decent man. Those times are gone.
I stand near the front counter waiting to be greeted; with my bag over my shoulder. I focus on the woman behind the pedestal. She's talking to a guest in front of me, smiling politely at me over their shoulder as if to keep me pleased since I'm waiting.
I had no idea someone had come in behind me until I felt the heat on my back from the closeness of another.
"We meet again," my shoulders tense, but I don't move. I know already who it is. There's no way to forget that deep soothing voice. "Maybe this time you won't ignore my invite for a dinner date."
"I told you," looking back over my shoulder, my words instantly are forgotten. I'm reminded of just how good-looking this man is, and I feel an instant spark of interest. I don't want to feel it, but it is out of my control.
"Hi," he smirks as if he knows just what he's doing to me, and it really isn't fair. "Did I mention last time how great you look in dresses?"
Shaking my head, I quickly look away to hide my flushed cheeks and find the woman at the counter smiling at me.
"Can I help you?"
I step up closer, really just to gain space, and the idea is lost to me when Jonah follows close behind. Suddenly he is at my side, our arms brushing against one another. "We are both here to meet some friends."
I hold my composure, my shoulders square and staring straight ahead. A smile tugging at my lips because how can one man be so alluring. It really isn't fair, and I know I'm not the only woman to notice.
"Table under the name Anthony Miller."
The petite hostess smiles at him before averting her gaze to look over the book before her. After I assume locating the reservation, she grabs two menus holding them out to the younger man at her side. "They are at table twelve."
As we step past her, she once again scans over Jonah appreciatively, and I hide my smile. He's managed to gain the attention of our hostess. She tells us to enjoy, and then Jonah presses his hand to the small of my back, leading me after the young man. Again the instant feeling of pure heat filters through my body, and I know, even if I try to, I won't be able to resist this man. Honestly, I'm not sure I want to any longer. What would a little fun hurt?
He is pure sin, and he knows just how to strike a need in someone, even if I've been trying to deny it.
Chapter Eleven
Jonah
I sit at the high table, lounging back casually, with my arm stretched out over the back of Danielle's chair. With every move she makes, her back or shoulder brushes over my hand or arm, and I try not to react.
Addison's words are repeatedly playing in my mind.
She's been hurt, lied to, and she won't trust easily. What her ex did to her was the ultimate betrayal, and right now, she has absolutely no intentions of being in a relationship. Danielle needs a good guy Jonah, are you a good guy?
Addison is tough, and she is fiercely protective of Danielle. I have no intentions of getting on her bad side, either of them.
"Can I get any of you another drink?" Our waitress pauses at the side of the table, everyone looking in her direction, but, I take the opportunity to look at Dani instead. Her features are almost angelic, blemish-free, and only a small trail of freckles over the bridge of her nose. The rosy color of her heart-shaped lips reminds me of what it felt like to kiss her. Feeling her tongue against mine, her hands roaming over my chest. I shift in my seat to control the reaction my body has to my thoughts.
Dani smiles at the girl at her side and then looks my way to find me watching her. Her cheeks redden, and she then tries to quickly cover up the fact I affect her by narrowing her eyes. "Stop staring," she nudges me with her elbow, and I may have worried had her lips not been holding one of the biggest smiles I've seen on her yet.
I'm a smile guy, I love a beautiful smile, and Dani has just that. The kind you feel deep in your stomach, and well, everywhere, actually.
"Do you need another drink?" She asks, and I'm reminded the waitress is still at the side of the table waiting. Also, I have an audience sitting directly across from me, but frankly, I don't care.
I skim my fingertips over her exposed shoulder and watch a shiver run through her, goosebumps covering her arms and neck. I affect her, and there's no denying that fact. I understand why she is fighting it. I don't know the details of her past relationship but what I do know is it ended badly. She's holding back, so I won't push, but I'm surely not about to give up either.
"I think I'm good, thanks," I notice the way her eyes shift downward toward my mouth. The idea she too, could be remembering the kiss or kisses we shared the last time we were together excites me. It confirms once again she is interested, but she wants to ignore that interest. Even if right now, it's only a physical attraction.
We are settled back at the table, the girls both with a fresh drink and Anthony and I moving on to a nonalcoholic drink. The ladies are laughing as they talk about some of the adventures they've gone on together. They talked about their recent trip to Mexico and how Addison had to practically carry Dani up three flights of stairs after she had one too many. Addison also attempts to imitate Danielle when apparently she tried to Salsa dance,
drunk, in heels, no less. Hungover mornings near the pool, with a Bloody Mary and sunglasses to shield the sun. I can almost picture the two of them doing the exact things they describe.
Danielle is laughing to the point of holding her stomach, with tears in her eyes and I love the fact she doesn't attempt to hide the cute little snort that falls from her lips in the process.
She's real, and I like that.
"Danielle," I glanced over to see a blond paused only a few feet away from our table. Immediately I feel the way Danielle's entire body tenses at my side. "You cut your hair," the girl seems timid, taking another step toward our table cautiously. Danielle has yet to speak, but Addison is up off her seat and blocking her path within seconds.
"Are you kidding me right now?" Addi towers over the girl, height and frame, and Addison isn't a big girl. "You really should have kept walking."
Tony is up in a hurry and standing behind Addison, his hands on her shoulders, as he attempts to calm her. All I can focus on is Dani.
"Are you okay?" I ask, already sensing she's not, but I wanted to break through the daze she's managed to fall into.
She says nothing, only shakes her head, still staring in the direction of the chaos.
"Addison stop," it's the soft sound of a woman's voice, but it can be heard clearly. "I'm pregnant."
Danielle's face instantly pales. Unsteadily she stands and takes a few steps toward Addison only to reach out and brace herself on the tabletop. "How could you?" Long gone is the humored tone she held only minutes ago and in its place one of devastation and sadness. "You're my sister, and—" she stops, looking down at her feet, she fists her free hand like she's doing her best not to lash out. I watch as her shoulders lift, showing she's taking in one slow deep breath after the other.
I have no idea what's going on, but what I do know is this girl, her sister, has hurt her in some way. It pisses me off, and the thing is, I have no right, but it doesn't stop the feelings that consume me.
Danielle turns away and begins walking toward the door, her sister saying her name aloud, but it doesn't seem to phase her. Addison started after her, and without a second of pause, I touch her arm to stop her.
"I got her," I grab Dani's purse and hurry after her, ignoring the stares of those around us. Ignoring the protest of Addison, I have one purpose.
Dani is a few feet in front of me, and she pushes open the front door of the restaurant then turns left. I continue on the same path, closing in on her, though I'm not sure she’s noticed yet that I'm following.
Stopping, she braces herself on the wall, just before leaning forward and heaving violently. I move in closer, reaching out in an attempt to hold back her hair. Using her hand, she attempts to push me away, but I refuse to allow her to. One thing I've learned about Dani and quickly is she is one very stubborn woman. I'm sure it's related to the fact she's had enough people in her life disappoint her, and I'm not about to add my own name to the list.
A few minutes pass and she is now leaning the weight of her body against the wall. I move her away from the spot where she just emptied her stomach, and she doesn't try to stop me. She actually leans into me for a brief minute before moving away and bracing herself on the wall once again. Standing at her side, I look out over the parking lot, and we are both equally silent.
The silence is broken by the sound of heels clicking against the sidewalk. Looking to the left, I notice Addison looking a little frantic. She scans over the area before seeing me and then looking past me to see her friend leaning on the building. I notice the shiny resemblance of tears pooling in Addison's eyes, which tugs at my heart a little. It put into perspective how serious and how emotional this event actually is for both of them.
"Dani," she whispers, and Tony and I watch as the entire thing unfolds between the two of them. Two girls that share such a close connection fall into one another and hold each other tightly.
You can hear the sounds of soft whispers being shared, but the words are muffled and indecipherable. They remain like this for what feels like hours, but it's only minutes. Slowly parting, Addison places her hands on Danielle's face, and with one look, they both square their shoulders and find their strength. It's a beautiful moment, honestly, one that makes me want this woman a little more than I already do.
A big part of me wants to take her in my arms and protect her from anyone ever having the chance to hurt her again. Though I know that's impossible; it doesn't make the urge any less compelling.
As they part, Addi moves toward me, and when at my side, she pauses, looking up at me. I can tell she wants to say something, but her emotions are still so raw it's almost as if she can't form the words. "So we hate the sister, right?" I ask in a hushed voice.
She nods, her lower lip trembling slightly. "Yes, we most definitely hate the sister." Patting my forearm, she offers it a gentle squeeze and then walks back toward the front entrance. I watch in silence as she and Tony re-enter, leaving me alone with Dani.
"That was by far one of the most embarrassing moments I've ever had," she says. I let my gaze wander back to Dani just as she turns around to face me, covering her mouth with her hand and avoiding my stare.
"It wasn't bad."
"Which part," she laughs "the part where I ran out of the restaurant like a crazy person to avoid my sister or the part where I yacked and splattered your shoes?"
I shift my entire body to face hers, and lean back against the wall and look over at her, avoiding a response to her question. Calling attention to either moment wouldn't get me anywhere. She was already feeling self-conscious.
"Wanna talk about it?"
Danielle crosses her arms over her chest, looking out over the roadway just beyond the sidewalk. A few cars pass, and I am waiting for her to say no, but she surprises me. "My sister ran off with my fiancé," what the fuck, "the same day as our wedding. Actually, only an hour before I was supposed to walk down the aisle."
"That's messed up," I'm at a loss for words. Honestly, what kind of person does that to anyone, but to their own sister? Or a man to the woman he's asked to marry him. How does someone do something so heartless and cruel?
"I think had she not stated she was pregnant, Addi probably would have tackled her." I refocus on Dani to find her looking up at me now with a smile. How in the hell she can smile in the face of what she's gone through is beyond me. She amazes me. "I can really use a drink," wrinkling her nose, she pushes off the wall and attempts to step around me.
Reaching out, I hook her around her waist, and our gazes lock. "I don't know your ex, but what I do know is he's got to be one dumb shit to let you go."
Dani's beauty is enamoring, and not just physically; she is a joy to be around. Even in the two times I've been lucky enough to spend a few hours with her, I've felt better for it. Something about her, the smile on her face, or the joy dancing in her eyes, it's contagious, and I want to surround myself with her.
"Still not persuaded to run in the opposite direction?" Widening her eyes, she laughs. "Even after I turned into the exorcist and expelled my dinner, you think he lost?"
Nodding, I pull her in closer, and without giving it a second thought, I hug her to my chest. She doesn't resist like I assumed she would. Instead, she allows her head to rest over my heart, and I feel her take in a slow deep breath. We remain like this for a few seconds until I feel her begin to pull away. Quickly I move around to her side once more and wrap my arm over her shoulders as we start walking toward the front doors. "He'll come crawling back one day after he realizes what a mistake it was to walk away."
"And I'll trip him as he moves on by," she pulls open the door and glances up at me. "That is over, done, and buried. With him, I was someone else, and I never want to be that girl again."
I don't ask what she means because, honestly, I don't think she'll elaborate. But something about her having to pretend to be anything other than the woman I've met makes me furious. She's amazing and fun; how can anyone expect her to be different? Most of
all, why in the hell would they want to?
Chapter Twelve
Danielle
I should be humiliated, and in a way, I am. I mean, I puked on the guy's shoes, not just once but over and over. I was like a possessed human expelling green goo; it was horrifying. But he was amazing about it. He never cringed or made comments. In fact, he skipped right over it like it never happened.
The night ended with Jonah following me home, per his request. I think it was just so he would know where I live, and honestly, I'm okay with it. When he walked me to my door and gave me a hug before waiting for me to step inside and close the door behind me, I knew he was a good guy.
It still doesn't change the fact that I do not intend to venture into relationship territory. I have no intentions of going down that path, but we can be friends. Friends are okay.
Monday is long and treacherous; with the end of the semester nearing, I have so many of my students who have screwed off throughout the year, now trying to use the last week to get a passing grade. I'm an easy teacher to get along with, and I give my students more than enough chances to get extra points on papers they may not have done so well on. I mean, I give them back their failed papers and tell them to correct the answers for a second chance at a better grade. It's not my fault if they decide redoing something is a waste of their time.
So, needless to say, when I have several of them begging me for extra credit or anything they can do in order to raise their grades a week prior to final grades being posted, I'm not so keen on helping them. They dug their own ditch, and now they have to face the consequences.
I pack my bag at the end of the day and turn off my lights, exiting my classroom. Saying goodbye to a few other teachers, I exit the building and walk toward the parking lot.
It's cloudy outside, but the weather is still nice. A light breeze makes the trees rustle, and the sound of it whistling around me is somewhat relaxing. I imagine being home in a warm bubble bath and a glass of my favorite wine. Maybe even a good book or a movie. I’ve had a craving for Thai, and I decide to pick some up on the way home.