He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into his arms. “What are you talkin’ about?”
I looked at him, with warm tears running down my flushed cheeks. “We’re done. Shayne.”
They were the only words I could get out before the sobbing began. The look on his face was agonizing. He’d given me his all, but it wasn’t enough for me to reconsider. It was a terrible shame, but the truth. We were done.
“Lace, please.”
“I hope we can be friends.”
Friends? I threw him that horrible line that everyone used and walked out of my own bedroom. All I wanted to do was disappear. It wasn’t just the pain that I was under. I’d hurt another person, leaving him torn and confused. I knew I couldn’t do this again.
Both of these men needed to leave me alone. I was done with this drama, the worrying and the pain.
I was done with it all.
Chapter 19
Shayne
I didn’t spend the night at Lacey’s, after she reiterated that it was really over. My last attempt at winning her back had failed. I don’t know if it was the sex, but shortly after, while we were still lying there naked, she let me know the cold truth.
She was done with me and there wasn’t anything else I could do about it.
To drown my sorrows, I headed for the nearest bar. After more drinks than I could count, everything went fuzzy. When I say fuzzy, I mean that I woke up the next morning in a strange place, next to a very naked stranger.
Her arm was wrapped around me and since I was freaking out already, I didn’t want to alarm the girl. Slowly, I eased my way off of the bed, without waking her. Once I found the bathroom, I closed the door and found a pink towel hanging that I wrapped around my waist. In the mirror my reflection shocked the Hell out of me. I had circles under my eyes, which only happened when I hadn’t slept the night before. While splashing water on my face, a petite brunette, with large brown eyes opened the door. “Hey. I was wondering where you went off to.”
“I, um.” I looked down at the pink towel. “Have you seen my clothes?”
“They’re in the living room. You started taking them off before we got in the front door, not that I’m complaining. For someone that drank as much as you, it didn’t affect how you moved in the bedroom.” She looked behind her and smiled. “You better get dressed, loverboy. My sister is here visiting and she’s a bit of a prude. If she wakes up and sees a guy wrapped up in the towels she bought me last Christmas, she will freak the fuck out.”
I looked down at the pink towel and raise an eyebrow. “Help me get all my clothes and you can have the towel. No offense, but I need to get the fuck out of here. I’m late for work and my dad’s goin’ to kick my ass.”
“He called earlier. I shot him a text back that you were too sick, throwing up with the runs. He said to stay home and keep that shit away from his workplace.”
Surprisingly, I smiled, impressed that this stranger had not only offered me a good time, but covered for me when I wasn’t able to do it for myself. “Thanks.”
She smiled and ran her hand over my chest. “There’s a pack of toothbrushes in the cabinet. My sister is famous for forgetting hers. Anyway, help yourself. I’ll be right back with your stuff.”
I found a pack of six pink toothbrushes and cringed at the idea of having to use it. Knowing that my breath had to have been horrible, I filled one with toothpaste and started brushing. When the door opened, I thought it was just going to be the same girl bringing me my clothes. Instead, a very shocked familiar face stared back at me. “Shayne?” She laughed. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Megan?” The same girl that I met at my friend Boner’s place was standing in front of me. She didn’t look happy to see me and I knew why, but I had to ask. “This is your sister’s place?”
She nodded, looked down at the towel, and then covered her face. “Oh my god! RACHEL! You slept with HIM?”
The girl, that I now knew was Rachel, ran up to the bathroom and looked from me to her sister. “You know each other?”
“We’ve met, under different circumstances,” She answered.
The two sisters then looked to me for further explanation. I threw my hands in the air. “Small world?”
Megan pointed at me. “This guy you spent the night with is a total man whore. This is the guy that Lacey Travis was dating.”
“Lacey? From high school? I haven’t seen her in years.” Rachel argued.
“Remember, I told you I ran into her mother and she told me all about her cheating boyfriend? This is the guy. I can’t believe you brought him home with you. Did you pick him up at a bar? Oh my God, do you not have any morals at all? Sometimes I wonder if I was the one who got all the good genes.”
Realizing that I was the reason the two of them were arguing, I figured it would be smart to take myself out of the equation. “Look, I’m just goin’ to go. Sorry if I caused either of you problems. It wasn’t my intention.”
“Not so fast!” Megan grabbed the towel, it loosened and fell to the floor. All I could do was stand there watching her face turn beet red. She threw her hands over her face. “Cover yourself!”
I reached down and picked up the towel, before grabbing my clothes and walking into the bedroom.
Rachel followed me inside. “I am so sorry about my sister. She’s worse than my mother sometimes.”
I pulled my pants up. “It’s all good. I really need to go anyway.”
“So, we should do this again.” She sat down on the bed with confidence.
I leaned over and kissed her head. Since I didn’t remember it, at all, I had no idea what we’d actually done. “Yeah, sure.”
“I put my number in your phone.”
That was sort of stalkerish. “Ok great.”
I left the bedroom and found Megan in the living room. She had a cup of coffee and was sitting in a chair. “You really are a whore.”
“Megan, it’s not what it looks like.”
“Yeah right. Do I look stupid to you? One day your hitting on me and the next you’re in bed with my sister, who I know you don’t know. That’s pathetic.”
She was right. I was pathetic.
“I’m out of here.”
“Good riddance.”
There was one problem. I didn’t know where I was, or where my car was.
I had to go back inside and ask for help and I really didn’t want to.
After exhausting my options, I knocked and waited. Megan answered the door. “What do you want now? There’s nobody else in this house that wants to sleep with you.”
“Look, I don’t know why you think I’m so terrible. She took me home last night.”
“You’re pathetic.” She shook her head and grabbed her purse before pushing me back out the door. “Let’s go.”
“Wait, how do you know where my car is?”
“My sister hangs out at one bar. Obviously, you would know that if you knew anything about her.” We climbed into a car I recognized from the beach.
Once we got on the road and left the unfamiliar neighborhood, I started to feel like I knew where I was. “You never mentioned a sister.”
“Please don’t talk to me. I’m so mad at you that I could pull out into oncoming traffic in hopes of you losing a couple limbs.”
I grabbed my dick as if to protect it. “You weren’t this feisty when we hung out last.”
“You weren’t fucking my sister when we hung out last. Ugh! You’re dick is going to fall off, you know.”
“I use protection.”
“Men like you are the reason that women become lesbians.”
“You are vicious when you’re mad.” I was watching out the window to make sure a dump truck wasn’t coming in my direction. “Look, Megan. I’m really sorry. I had too much to drink last night. I swear, I didn’t plan on going home with anyone. I was just as surprised as you were.”
“Please shut up. I’m taking you to your car and we never have to see each other again.�
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It bothered me that such a nice girl thought I was scum. “Can we start over?”
Megan pulled up next to my car and put her vehicle into park. “I wouldn’t want to be your friend if you were the last men on the planet. You’re the whole reason that I’m still a virgin.”
The V word made me insanely curious. “Did you just admit that you’re…?”
“Yes, I’m a virgin.”
“But, we made out. You let me touch you.”
“Jesus, Shayne. I’m not that naïve. I can enjoy myself without being deflowered. Can you get out of my car now?”
I opened the door and looked back at her. She was sexy when she was mad, but I was too messed up in my own way to play head games with another woman. I’d pictured my morning playing out differently. All of my hopes of being with Lacey were gone. An empty hole was in my heart and I only had myself to blame.
“Sorry if I ruined your day, Megan. I’ll try not to run into you ever again.”
“One can only hope.” She turned away before she even got done speaking.
I waved, knowing damn well she didn’t notice. It irked me that someone could hate me so much. Was I really the monster she saw me as? Surely I had to have some good qualities.
By the time I made it back to my apartment, I was beat. Ashley made me some tea and hung out with me while I told her everything that had happened the night before. She said I was a fool to think Lacey would have taken me back. In fact, she told me that no woman would fall for that idea after goodbye sex, no matter how good it was. Maybe she was right. Maybe Lacey and I were really over. After all, I’d already gone and slept with someone else the same night we were together. My repetitive mistakes kept landing me further from what I thought I wanted. I needed to focus on something other than satisfying my sexual need for a while.
After running into Megan again, in such an awful way, I started to think maybe it was meant to happen. No matter which direction I chose, I kept screwing up. Megan reminded me that I was in charge of my actions and it was my job to change, for real this time.
Lacey
School was the last thing on my mind and maybe I should have called Sky to let her know that I wouldn’t be there, because when she showed up at my house, she was freaking out.
“Lacey, I’ve tried to call you all morning. How come you weren’t in class today? It’s the one class we said we’d never miss since we were both in it.”
“I had a bad night.”
‘What do you mean? Were you sick?”
“No, worse. I kind of told Shayne that he could come over.”
“You what? Please tell me that you didn’t do something stupid?” I appreciated that she was concerned, but didn’t want to hear her tell me that she told me so. Not again.
“So what if I did? It’s not like I can take it back now.”
“What did you do? Did you sleep with him? I thought you liked Joey.”
“I do like Joey, but this was about me and Shayne. I needed to know for sure that I was making the right decision. I had to know that it was okay to walk away from him and move on.”
“So where is he now?” She sat down on the couch across from me and folded her hands. “Did he stay the night?”
I shook my head and began to cry uncontrollably. “No. He’s gone. I told him we were done, right after. He left so hurt and angry with me. Then I asked him if we could be friends. Who does that?”
“Lacey, Shayne cheated and lied to you. You’re acting like this is all your fault.”
I looked up at her, unable to accept that this had nothing to do with my actions. “Joey lied too, you know. Shayne called and Joey erased the number. He told Shayne to leave me alone. He had no right to do that, but he did. Why do I always get with guys that can’t be honest with me? I’m like a jerk magnet.”
I felt the couch move while my hands covered my face. My sobs were still uncontrolled, but Sky’s hand tried it’s best to comfort me. “You are not a jerk magnet.”
“Why can’t I find someone that wants just me? Every guy that I care about sleeps around. Maybe I just suck in bed. Maybe I can’t give them enough to keep them happy.”
“Stop saying that. Do you hear yourself? I think you need to stop looking so hard for love. It doesn’t have anything to do with you as a person.”
I nodded. “You’re right. I need to not see either of them. I should focus on school and my future and ignore guys for a while.”
We hugged and she held me tightly. “It’s going to be okay, Lace. You have me and I’ll keep you straight.”
I felt confident that she meant what she was saying. I was going to get through it and stop hoping to change two men that didn’t want to be changed.
The first thing I needed to do was tell Joey. He deserved to know why I couldn’t see him anymore. He needed to know that no matter how perfect the sex was, it was never going to be enough for us to ever be more. Joey was a means to an end. The old Lacey was gone and the new one wasn’t falling for any man’s ploys to get her into bed. She would be in control and protect her heart from being broken again.
Chapter 20
Shayne
I told myself that I was going to walk away from Lacey; that I was going to let her go this time without a fight. Unfortunately, it was easier said than done. I waited a day before I started calling her. Of course, she never answered, so I bombarded her voicemail with messages, practically pleading with her to call me back.
I went to work, came home, and thought about the things Megan had said to me. She had me hating myself, more than usual. Even Ashley, who seemed to be my only confidant, couldn’t get me out of my funk.
She made me dinner and had it waiting for me when I got home from work. After showering, I found her sitting in the kitchen with a table full of food. “Hey. I thought you might want to eat, seein’ as you probably haven’t all day.”
I sat down at the other end and ran my hands through my hair. “Yeah, thanks. I guess I didn’t even think about it.”
“You can’t keep beatin’ yourself up over it, Shayne. You tried. You went above and beyond to make things right. Maybe you should move on.”
I raised my brow and looked at her. “Please don’t give me advice, Ash. You of all people don’t have room to talk. Look what you did to try and get Ford back. We both know how that ended up.”
“It’s because of what I did that I know I’m right. Look, I don’t expect you to trust me, or be my friend, but I’m tryin’ to help. We live together and now I’m havin’ twins. The only person that’s been a constant so far is you, Shayne. I just want to make things a little better for you. Maybe if I can help you, I’ll be able to forgive myself for the things I did.”
When her over emotional hormones kicked in and she started crying, it made me feel terrible. I wasn’t the only person going through Hell. We were both suffering. As much as I wanted to hate Ash, I knew she was the only woman I could be close to without wanting something more. I stood up, walked over to her side of the table, and hugged her. “Don’t cry, Ash.” I ran my hand through her dark hair. “We’re goin’ to get through this, together. We’re a team in this. Maybe it’s best if I focus on the babies. We’ve got a long road ahead, and our families are counting on us to make the right decisions. I say we take this pity party and use it to our advantage.”
“How do you think that’s goin’ to happen?” She looked up with tears in her eyes, like I was being a fool.
“No more drama. We concentrate on bein’ good parents. We read books and shit; whatever we have to do to prepare. No more bullshit with ex’s or one-night stands. I’m done with it all.”
We stared at each other and she patted my hand. “Okay. We’ll do it together, for the babies.”
“For the babies,” I repeated.
I stood up and walked over to my seat, admiring the casserole sitting in the middle of the table. “So, what did you make?”
“It’s Mexican. I got it off one of those shows. I’m just
warnin’ you, it might taste like ass. I’ve never been good at cooking.”
I put a piece on my plate and took a bite. “It’s pretty good for bein’ ass.” I winked and saw her smiling at me.
Our troubles were far from gone. My heart ached for Lacey, but I knew I was doing what she wanted. Even though we were done, I wanted her to be able to see that I’d changed. Hell or high water, I was going to be a better man and prove everyone wrong about me.
Lacey
Shayne and Joey had both been calling me and I knew I owed at least one of them an explanation as to why I’d been avoiding them. Telling Joey that our tryst was over by phone wasn’t feasible. He’d want a real explanation; one he could believe.
By that weekend, my anxiety was sky high. I’d gotten myself so worked up about everything that I hadn’t considered not being able to go through with it.
Joey was at his door when I pulled up, shirtless, holding it open without saying anything.
I made it inside and watched him shut the door behind us. He came up to me and put his hands on my shoulders. “Why haven’t you been takin’ my calls? I finally get your number and you won’t answer it when I call you.” He leaned in and kissed me softly on my lips, almost making me forget what I’d come there to do.
I pulled away, but he still had a hold of me. “We need to talk about something.”
He pulled me in for another kiss and I didn’t know how to stop him, so I just blurted out something that would get his attention. “I slept with Shayne.”
He pulled away and stared into my eyes. I felt horrible and my stomach began to knot up. He scrunch up his face. “What do you mean? I know you slept with him,…”
“This week. He came to my house and we slept together.”
I was afraid of how he’d react, but Joey kept his cool. He sat down on the couch and took a sip of his beer, then leaned back and looked at me. “Why are you tellin’ me this?”
I sat down next to him. “I’m tired of all the lies. I can’t take it anymore.”
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