by Неизвестный
But he didn’t care enough. Why did he have to come back and put her through this?
“Frank may have lied to both of us, but one thing is real. You have another woman.”
“I wanted to tell you about Sable, but it’s complicated.”
“Complicated how?” She needed to hear his explanation, not the twisted story Sable told. “You said you wanted to talk, so talk.”
He carefully avoided her eyes. “Did anything happen before the attack?”
“You’re supposed to be explaining, not me.”
“I thought Sable might have come to see you before she left town.”
“If you’re asking me whether or not I saw her turn into a wolf, then the answer is yes.” Her voice rose, while her heart sank. He still thought he could hide the truth.
All the blood drained from his face, and his mouth opened and shut like a fish out of water.
“Can’t you be honest with me for once?” she said, shaking her head with regret.
He put his head in his hands and rubbed his temples. “What did she tell you?”
“She wanted to know if I liked fucking a dog.”
“Jesus!” His body stiffened in shock.
“Is it true?” She stumbled over the words. “Are you a werewolf?”
He hesitated, refusing to meet her eyes. “I’m not a beast, Karin. We don’t call ourselves werewolves. I’m a Lycan.” Anguish carved lines on his face. “I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.”
The desperation in his voice opened raw wounds. She gripped the arms of the chair to stop herself from going to him. “Well, you don’t have to worry, I’m fine.” Why did he have to look so miserable? It made her sad when she should be angry. She wouldn’t let him stomp on her heart again.
“I shouldn’t have come.”
“But you had to know what I knew, right?” Damn him! He didn’t care about her. “You had to make sure your secret is safe.”
“I don’t care what happens to me.”
“But you care what happens to Sable.” Her voice rose. She covered her hurt with angry words. “Well, you don’t have to worry. Your secret is safe with me. You got what you came for. You can go now.”
“That’s not why I came. I let things go too far because—”
“No. You should have gone farther. You should have been honest with me.”
“Would you have believed me? You would have called me crazy or a monster.”
“If you believe that, then you don’t know me at all.” She brushed the tears away. “I’m not afraid of you, Malcolm. It’s Sable who terrifies me.”
“She’ll never hurt you again. She’s gone.”
“How can you be sure?”
“She was hurt in the attack. I followed her blood trail, but I never found her body. If some trophy hunter found her before she healed, he could have easily taken her down.” His fists clenched.
“Jude?”
He shrugged. “It could have been anyone.”
“I’m sorry, I know you loved her,” she said woodenly.
“Like a sister.” He paused uncertainly. “I was married once, a long time ago. My wife was killed because of what we are. Sable is her younger sister. I thought she died too.”
“I’m so sorry.” If only he’d told her all this before.
“When Sable showed up, I felt responsible for her. I couldn’t put her life in jeopardy, not after what she went through. A lot of good it did.”
“She told me she was carrying your child.” There, she finally said it. It weighed on her mind for weeks.
“It’s not true,” he said, without meeting her eyes.
His regretful expression just about did her in. “But you tried?”
“No. As far as I know, we’re the only ones left. She wanted a baby to preserve our race but that’s no reason to bring a child into the world, especially one who would have to hide his real identity.”
A knife twisted in her heart. He didn’t want children. She moved over to the window and looked outside with blind eyes.
“You told me you couldn’t have children.” Bitter tears fell at last.
“I can’t, not with a human woman.”
“I don’t know what to say. If only you had trusted me.” If he really believed they couldn’t make a baby together, he was in for a big surprise. Should she even tell him?
“I made a lot of mistakes, and you paid for most of them. I’m here because I want to make sure you’re okay.” He hesitated. “And because I miss you.”
Her heart did flip-flops. If only she could believe it.
“I miss you, doc. I just needed to see you.”
He came up behind her, but he didn’t touch her. She fought the urge to turn and wrap herself around him.
“Can you look at me, doc?”
She turned to face him. A lock of dark hair fell across his forehead and she reached up to brush it back. He grabbed her wrist and held her palm to his cheek. All her anger dissolved. He missed her. Too much the softhearted optimist, she let his words seep into her heart.
“Can you ever forgive me? He released her hand to brush the tears away with his thumb. “I would do anything to make it right, but I’ll understand if you tell me you never want to see me again.”
She hugged her body to keep from touching him. “I don’t know,” she whispered. There were so many things she wanted to tell him. Not her real feelings. She had no desire to be hurt again. But she wanted him to know about the baby. Her child deserved to know his father, and he needed to know before he broke some other woman’s heart and made her pregnant.
“Can we at least be friends?” He reached in his back pocket. “I brought you a peace offering.”
A wild idea flowered in her mind until she saw the small flat brown package. It couldn’t be a ring. She tore it open and pulled out a tiny lavender thong. She held it up with two fingers, unsure whether to laugh or cry. The uncomfortable look on his face made her lips twitch. “Do you think I’m easy?” The laugh bubbled out on its own. “Or are you just a complete optimist?”
“I owed you one.” He shrugged sheepishly. “I never bought anything like this before, but the ladies at the store were real helpful.”
“I just bet they were.” She smiled.
“They said you’d love it. There are a hundred other things I wanted to buy you, but I know you don’t take bribes. I figured I’d start small.”
“You shouldn’t have bought anything.” He looked so disappointed it broke her heart. An idea came to her. “Sit down. I’ll be right back.”
She took her time in the bedroom. This might not have been the best way to tell him, but she couldn’t seem to get the words out. She brushed her hair and exchanged her pajama bottoms for the thong. It wouldn’t fit in a few weeks, but right now she liked the way it accentuated her little bulge. Would he? She threw her robe on, belted it and went to find out.
Chapter Thirty-two
“I thought I’d model it for you.” Heart racing like a runaway train, Karin let the robe fall to the floor and lifted her pajama top to her waist. “What do you think?” She did a slow pirouette to give him the full effect.
His eyes went right to the thong and then her slightly rounded belly above it. The spark in his eyes vanished as if a light bulb had been switched off. He looked sandbagged.
“I guess congratulations are in order,” he said stiffly. “You could have told me before.” He picked up the robe and handed it to her. “Are you happy?”
“Very.” She shrugged on the robe.
“You’ll be a great mother.”
“Thanks,” she said, surprised at his low-key reaction.
“Being a single parent won’t be easy. If you ever need help you can count on me.”
“That’s it?”
“I don’t know what else to say.” He fumbled for words. “Will you call me when the baby is born?”
“You’re going to walk out of here without a backward glance?” She hadn’t expected more
, but she hoped.
“No. I’ll always be here for you.” He looked genuinely confused. “I hope you believe me.”
“I do,” she said sadly. “But it’s not the same as having a father in the picture.”
“No, I guess not.” He paused uncertainly. “Does Frank have any family?”
“Frank?” She frowned.
“Well, he’s gone, but he may have relatives. The baby might have grandparents, aunts, and uncles who’d love to be part of his life.”
One hand clutched the robe, the other pounded his chest. “You idiot! What about a father who’d love to be part of his life?”
“Karin—” He turned white and grabbed her hand.
“You’re so damn busy trying not to have a baby with someone else you can’t even see what’s right in front of your face. If you don’t want our baby, then you can just walk out the door right now.” Crying, she wrestled her hand away. “Do you want to break my other arm?”
“It’s not Frank’s? It’s mine?” he whispered, wrapping his arms around her to hold her still.
“How could you think I would go from your bed to his?” Damn, she didn’t want to go there, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. “Maybe you can go from woman to woman, but I can’t switch my feelings so easily.”
“I didn’t think I could.” He looked shell-shocked. “I mean, I can’t believe it. I have a baby.”
“I have a baby. You’re leaving. Remember? I’ll call you after he's born.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” He sat and pulled her down on his lap. “How long have you known? Why didn’t you tell me before?”
She twisted out of his arms and stood. She couldn’t think straight with his arms around her. “I always wanted you in our child’s life. I planned to tell you that night. When I finally got out of the hospital, you were gone.
“I should have known.”
“Sable knew. Why didn’t you?”
“I thought it was impossible. I was too damn wrapped up in self-pity and doubt to trust my own feelings.” He buried his face in his hands. “Either our elders lied to us, or I’m more human than wolf. Would it make things easier? If I was more human?”
“Easier for you, maybe. If you were more wolf, I’d put a choke chain on you to keep you from running.”
He threw his head back and laughed, and her spirits lifted. They still had that between them, the playful teasing that she loved so much. It was a start, but doubts remained and he hadn’t alleviated them.
He stood and brushed the hair back from her face. “Gods, if you knew how much I missed you, doc.”
If only he would say the right words, maybe everything would be okay. But he still hadn’t said them. Why? “Do you miss Sable too?” Was he lonely for her or the she-wolf?
“I never had those feelings for Sable. It was all about guilt and responsibility.”
“You know, she called my baby a half-breed.” Just repeating the words, she felt as if she were suffocating. Her throat constricted and she struggled with the painful memory. “My son is not an abomination.”
A flash of anger passed over his face. “Our son,” he rolled the words around his mouth like he was tasting a fine wine, “is very special. I can’t believe it. I have a son and I almost lost him before I even knew. I want to see him as much as you’ll let me. Maybe I won’t be around every day but I’ll always take care of you both. I promise you he’ll never want for anything.”
“Except a real family.” He wanted to be a long-distance father. He didn’t love her. The hole in her heart enlarged to a crater. Soon she’d be as empty as the Tin Man.
“Oh, you just don’t get it, do you?” She stalked into the bedroom and slammed the door.
He opened it a minute later. “I get it,” he said gently. “I love you, Karin. You.”
He loves me!
“I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you when I thought we couldn’t have kids. The baby is a welcome bonus, something I thought I’d never have in my life. The thing is, I don’t know how you really feel.” He sat next to her on the bed. “I screwed up bad, and I almost lost the best thing in my life. I might have lost you anyway if I told you the truth, but at least I’d know I tried. You once told me I was scared, and you were right. I was afraid to admit just how much you mean to me, afraid to lose someone I love again.”
“Are you sure?” She tensed, hoping for the right answer. How she ached to tell him she loved him. Those words had been on the tip of her tongue for so long, but she held back. She wanted to live in this minute, forget the past, and not think about the future, but she had to for her child. She embraced his ancestry and everything about him, but did he really accept her or would he grow to resent them one day? What if he decided he couldn’t live with a human female and left them?
“I knew I wanted you the first time I saw you walk into the refuge. I never thought I’d feel that way about a woman again. I never thought I deserved to feel it again. I tried to convince myself it was just physical, but in my heart I knew better. You bring out the best in me. You make me feel like anything is possible.”
The baby picked that minute to kick, as if urging her to go for it. She took his hand and placed it on her stomach. Watching his eyes light up with wonder, she started to believe they might have a future together.
“How do you feel about being a real full-time father? Can you teach our child to accept his human side as well as his Lycan ancestry?”
“My father taught me to conquer my fears. My mother taught me to respect all cultures. Our community chose to live separate from humans, but my parents always believed there was good and bad in every race. When they died, I buried their beliefs with them. You made me see the wisdom of their words. I only hope you’ll give me the chance to instill those beliefs in our son.” He cupped her chin tenderly. “How do you feel? You never asked for this. He might be like me.”
“He couldn’t have a better father to take after. I know who you are, inside and out, and I love you.”
“Can you forgive me for being so stupid?”
“I made mistakes too. We both trusted the wrong people. I just want to start over—together.”
The tension left his face. “You’re my mate, Karin. I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life making you happy.”
“Do I make you happy?”
“Karin,” he groaned and pulled her down on the bed so they were lying side by side. “In the last fifteen years, the only time I’ve been happy is with you.”
“Prove it.” She grinned at him as she tugged his shirt free of his jeans. “You’re overdressed.”
“Are you sure? If we make love, I’m not leaving here without you.”
“Damn right you’re not, I’ll tie you to the bed.”
“If anybody gets tied down, it’s going to be you.”
“Give me a break. I’m pregnant, and I have one arm in a cast.”
“Geez, I’m sorry, doc. I wasn’t thinking. We should wait. I don’t want to hurt you or the baby.”
“Oh, no. You’re not getting off that easy.” She went to work on the buttons.
“You have no idea what you do to me,” he growled.
“Then give me a hand with these buttons. I’m incapacitated.” The raw lust in his eyes went straight to her core. If anything, being pregnant made her want him more. The need to touch him, taste him, and have him inside her overpowered everything else.
“Do I have to leave the thong on?” she whispered.
He chuckled. “No, I’ll give you a break this time.”
“Good, because I don’t want anything between us, not even this tiny scrap of material.” She worked her fingers inside his shirt, desperate to feel his bare skin. Her top, his pants, they tore at each other’s clothes in a frenzy of hands and fingers and teeth. It was so intense between them she could hardly wait until he had his clothes off, but when they finally bared all, he sank back on the bed, hesitant.
“It’s okay. You won’t hurt me.”
He ran his fingers through her hair, then over her neck to her shoulder and down her arm, stopping at the cast. “This is my fault. I’ll never forgive myself for letting her hurt you.”
“It’s not your fault. Maybe it’s not even her fault. I know how I felt when I thought I lost you.”
“But you didn’t kill anyone.”
She smiled at him. “But I wanted to.”
He looked at her like she was a veritable smorgasbord and he didn’t know what to sample first. His gaze and then his hand fixed on her breast.
“They’re a lot bigger,” he muttered hoarsely.
“Are you complaining?”
“No, I’m thinking I should keep you pregnant all the time.”
“A little less talk and a lot more action please.” She wanted his lips, and she leaned into him and captured them. She explored his mouth with her tongue. He tasted familiar and yet completely different at the same time. She touched wherever she could reach, as if to convince herself she wasn’t dreaming. When she played with the hair on his chest and pinched his nipple, he hissed and nipped her lip.
His mouth left hers and seared a path of liquid fire to her breast. She grabbed his hair and squealed with delight when he swirled his tongue around the dusky tip. Finally, he took her breast into his mouth and suckled gently, making her whimper for more.
“Harder.” She moaned softly and dug her nails into his shoulders. Her sex clenched, and a surge of moisture coated her thighs.
He settled there for a few minutes before moving his mouth to her other breast. Then he worked his way down, stopping at her belly button. He looked at it curiously and rubbed his thumb over it. “It looks like it’s going to pop soon.”
“Oh my God, talking again.”
“Patience, woman, I’m enjoying this. You’re so beautiful. Pregnancy becomes you.”
“Oh, yeah.” She laughed. “Morning sickness, heartburn, and backaches are very becoming.” But his words brought on a rush of emotion that tore at her heart. This was what she’d been missing. “And I love every minute of it.”
Tenderly, he kissed her belly, swollen with their child, and then moved up beside her. “And I love every minute with you.” His eyes grew dark. He brought his mouth down over hers. She parted her lips, and his tongue played wicked games with hers.