by Ames, Ilsa
“You’re tense. It’s been a while, but whoever she is, she has you too twisted up inside to do anything about it drinking here. Go to her, Andrej, this mysterious future queen, and make her yours. Stop messing around.”
I frowned. “It’s not that simple. She barely knows me, and she’s certainly not my future queen.”
“Ah, thou dost protest too much, young sir.” She gave me flirtatious look and leaned forward. “Whoever she is, fuck her before you lose your mind, my friend. I’ve never seen you so…tense.”
It was only then I noticed how my foot tapped under the table, or that my jaw clenched and unclenched in a regular pattern. Even my finger tapped on the top of the table, in time with my foot.
“You always could get straight to the heart of the matter.”
“You love it, that’s why you keep coming here to drink my booze.” She stood, finishing the rest of her drink. “Ahhh well. Too bad I’m not wife material for you.” She grinned and winked at me. “Your loss.”
I chuckled, shaking my head as she teased me. Yes, she was beautiful, but Paloma wasn’t for me though. Not because she wasn’t royal, not because she’d once worked out of the very brothel she now ran. But because she was never satisfied with just one man in her bed for long. Even now, when she no longer worked in that trade, she moved from man to man so fast I could never even keep track. Hell, she’d even had two lovers at the same time before, both sharing her bed together. No, I wasn’t judging her for that, but any woman for me would be mine and mine alone.
“Besides, I doubt you could satisfy me anyways.”
I laughed as I knocked back the rest of my drink. “Nice try with the reverse psychology.”
She winked. “Can’t blame a girl for trying. No, but seriously. This other girl? Whoever it is driving you to drink? Go to her. Make her yours, my friend. Go on, you won’t find satisfaction here tonight, I’m afraid.”
The memory of Cara’s eyes from our meeting and her outburst – angry and flaring, this fire inside of her roaring out and sparking the air between us, came rushing back.
“Fine, fine. I’ll go,” I grumbled. “I don’t think I’ll find exactly what I need with her either, though. She’s a bit pissed off with me right now.”
Paloma laughed at my words and I suddenly realized what an ass I’d been to be so angry with Cara just for speaking her mind.
“Then fix it. It can’t be that hard.”
“You’d be surprised. Sometimes, not often, but sometimes I fuck up royally.” We both laughed as she led me to the door and I turned to kiss her hand in goodbye.
“What else is being a prince good for, but fucking up royally, Andrej? Go on now, meet whatever destiny has in store for you. I think it might be what you’ve been waiting for all this time, if she has you that agitated.”
“I’ll see you again, my friend.” I gave her a wink and went back to the car. She was right, in a way. I couldn’t take Miss Anderson to my office and fuck her into words of love and devotion, but I could make this right. I could make that spark come back to her eyes.
She’d looked so defeated when she left my office, the full brunt of my anger had taken the wind out of her sails. I’d felt a twinge of regret, but had squashed it beneath self-righteous indignation.
Now, it was time to eat a little crow. She was right, and had been all along. I hadn’t capitulated because I wanted to get her into bed with me, though I did want to get her into my bed. I’d capitulated because she was right about my daughter. Livia needed my attention every day, not just in the few short moments I stole to stare down at her once or twice a week.
As I drove back to the palace, the powerful engine a throb that made my blood sing, I thought about what I knew about my daughter. She’d never asked me for anything, I knew what she liked as gifts, because her former au pairs or tutors had told me. I knew what she wanted, because it came in the form of formal requests sent to my personal assistant. I’d approve any purchases, and she never lacked for anything she asked for.
I didn’t know what she liked to do with her free time, or what her favorite color was, or what she daydreamed about, because I never really saw my own little girl. My foot eased off of the gas pedal for a second before I clamped it back down. I hadn’t been much better than her mother for a while. I’d been there, sure, but I hadn’t been there for Livia. I was about to change all of that.
Chapter 5
Cara
“Come on, Livia, time for bed, my darling,” I called out to the little girl coloring by the fire. She was always busy, that little girl, and she rarely watched television. She’d rather write, or read, even color, than watch anything on the TV.
“Fine, but I’m going to read my book for a while first.” The small princess held up a very old book, one of the classics, that looked as if it might have belonged to her grandfather when he was her age. The cover was done in a style that would have been suitable for the late 1960s.
“That’s good. Make sure you don’t tire your eyes out, too much.”
“I won’t, Cara. Will you tuck me in?” She was already in a pair of pink pajamas with lace along the edges. Her light brown hair had been braided, the way she liked when she went to sleep, and her bed was turned down. She climbed between crisp white sheets and put her head down.
“I’ll tuck you in, but you’ll only mess it up if you’re going to read.” I pointed this out to her and she giggled.
“That’s fine, I just like to have you do it.” She sighed as I patted the covers down around her tiny frame and she closed her eyes for a moment.
I felt a desperate sadness for the little girl who just wanted to be loved. Her mother had run off to live the permanent party life with some drug dealer boyfriend, somewhere in Ibiza or Monaco or something. And her father was too busy to even tell her good night. Anger pushed out the sadness and I decided that Andrej could very well fire me, if he wanted to, his daughter needed him and I would tell him again, if it was the last thing I did here.
I’d worked up enough anger to sit up and turn around to go hunt the man down when a soft tap came at the door. It opened into the dimly lit room and suddenly I saw the man himself standing there.
“Papa!” Livia cried out. She threw her covers aside, and jumped out of the bed to bounce at her father’s feet. “You came to see me!”
“Yes, munchkin. A little bird told me that I needed to spend more time with you, and I think she must be right.” He knelt down in front of his daughter, and I think my ovaries decided it was a good time to explode.
The gorgeous man with his daughter’s arms around his neck was almost more than my libido could stand. Could you get pregnant from such a thing, I wondered, because I think I just did.
He’d not only said I was right; he’d said it in front of me. He was definitely the kind of man who defined the word alpha, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t admit when he’d been wrong. I really liked that about him. My anger washed away and the old pull came back, that pull between us that I am certain only I felt. He barely ever looked at me when he called me into his office; I knew he didn’t see me as a woman.
I could dream, though, and I had. Oh, I had. Such dirty dreams that my hands clenched even now. My eyes grazed over his shoulders, those broad shoulders that said he didn’t just spend his time slumped over a desk. He had to visit a gym at some point. Those weren’t the shoulders of a desk clerk with little physical activity.
And his legs. I could almost feel the soft hair that I knew had to cover his thighs. If my dreams were right, his skin was silky from head to toe. Surely a prince had expensive soap and creams to make sure of that? I lost track of the words he said to his daughter as I watched him tuck her in. His mouth moved, but I couldn’t hear him, I could only watch as they formed words in Ikrosovnian. Soft, supple, full, his lips were made for kisses and for teases. Teases of the softest parts of me.
I looked away when my face grew so hot it felt like my cheeks were on fire. I could barely breathe, an
d all he had done was tuck his daughter into bed! She put her hand under her cheek, smiled the happiest smile I’ve ever seen on her face, and closed her eyes.
“Papa, will you come see me tomorrow?” I knew it was only the fact that she was almost asleep that let her ask that question. Normally, she was far too restrained to ask for anything from him.
“I will, sweetheart, I promise.” He brushed her hair with his fingers until her breaths slowed and became even.
By that time, my own respiration had calmed down and I could look at him again without the urge to throw myself at him shamelessly. I’d wondered if I could drag him out of the room and to my quarters for a moment there. He wouldn’t even know you were alive if you weren’t a glorified baby sitter, I told myself. You’re nothing to him. He probably has some glamourous blonde girlfriend with big fake boobs who doesn’t occasionally miss a patch on her legs when she’s shaved because she has somebody to exfoliate and wax her body smooth for her. I had a generic razor from a discount general store and my own eyes. Oh, and a sponge for exfoliation.
A sort of snort escaped me at that and I moved to walk out of the room. I was almost out of the door when Prince Andrej called my named softly and reached out for my fingers with his own.
“Cara...” God, the way he said my name. I nearly started to stutter again, but I kept a little sanity. I held up a finger, turned around, and left the room.
When I was out, I turned around and waited for him to follow. He shut the door quietly and came up to me in the dimly lit room Livia used as her living room/classroom/playroom. I took a deep breath and looked him square in the eye.
“I expect you want to fire me, and I understand that, but do know this. You needed to know that Livia needed you.” My voice shook, but I kept on, he needed to hear it all. “You gave her the only thing she’s ever wanted tonight; some of your time to tuck her into bed. That’s all she’s ever wanted, time with you.”
I paused, not to give him time to speak, but to think about whether I had anything to add. “I, well, I commend you. Whether you fire me or not, you listened, and Livia reaps the rewards of that.”
“I do too, Cara. Honestly, that might be the calmest I’ve felt in a long time. And yes, you were on the verge of being fired tonight, but then I thought about what you said. You did it for Livia, not to be insubordinate. You actually did what Livia needed, you put her first, and that’s important.”
“Oh. Thanks.” I blinked up at him, and he moved forward. He didn’t stop his forward momentum and I backed up, my hands out in front of me. “What...what are you doing?”
He moved closer, his eyes locked on mine and the room grew warmer. Suddenly, I wondered if I’d fallen asleep, because there’s no way this could be real. He couldn’t really be looking at me like that, like something out of one of my dirty dreams, right?
“Your Highness—”
“I’m going to kiss you, Cara.”
My heart jumped into my throat, and suddenly it felt like the whole room was spinning.
And all I could do was nod.
His lips came down to mine the moment my back hit the wall and I gasped into his mouth. He tasted of dark liquor and promises. The kind of promises that only a skilled lover could make.
Fuck, I’d wanted to kiss him from the moment I met him. I wanted whatever he had to give me, and right now, that was a kiss that was making liquid pools of heat form all over my body.
He dragged his lips from mine long enough to ask a single word. “Yes?”
I couldn’t think, all I could do was stare at those lips, at his eyes that captivated me, and breathe my answer. “Yes.”
Maybe later I’d think about what a bad idea this was, maybe I’d cringe at how cliché it was, the nanny and the prince, but for now, all I wanted was to know what it felt like to have Andrej make love to me. Heat and lust melted through me, and all I wanted was for him to take me.
His hard-muscled body pressed me into the wall, and his scent filled my senses. An expensive cologne, maybe one designed only for a prince, mixed with his own smell – manly and intoxicating. I was afraid to move, afraid to make the wrong noise, afraid of anything that might make him change his mind about the way he was now snug against me.
I felt a throbbing bulge between us, and excitement surged through me. He wanted me as much as I wanted him, then, that was apparent. I still didn’t move though. He might change his mind, he might pull those lips away from mine, his tongue might stop the sweet exploration of my mouth. I parted my lips as his tongue traced along the seam of my mouth before I opened and let him delve inside.
My heart pounded in my chest and my pulse hadn’t stopped the race it ran, while his tongue invaded me. His hands were still clamped around my upper arms, but one moved, his right hand, to come up to explore the softness of my face. His index finger traced down my cheek, along my jaw, and then to my chin.
He gripped my jaw then and opened my mouth further. “Open those lips for me, Cara. Let me inside to taste your sweetness.”
I didn’t protest, only opened further, so that his tongue could move deeper, could lick at the back of my teeth. I grew bold as he explored me and my tongue moved to dance with his. I felt heat surge through me as he moaned into my mouth, a sound of pure delight. I wanted to press my own heat into him, to ease the ache that throbbed between my legs against him, somehow, but I didn’t dare move too much.
This prince, this future king, could have any woman he wanted, and right now he wanted me. If I made the wrong noise, touched him the wrong way, it might turn him off, and I’d never get another opportunity to fulfill a literal dream come true. My inexperience might just disgust him, and that made me stay still.
I yearned to touch his face, to feel how strong his arms were, and to feel the skin along his abdomen, but I didn’t dare move. I’d let him guide me, teach me, as he saw fit. For a terrible moment, a moment that lasted forever in my head, but only that bat of an eyelash in reality, I thought about how truly lonely I had been my entire life.
First my parents, and then Jane passing, leaving me alone. I didn’t really have any close friends. I’d always been too reserved in school, too shy and focused on my education to make them. After school, I’d started to work, and I devoted all of my time to my pupils until I’d decided to make a change. Mom’s diary had changed so many things for me. It had led me to this moment in time, where I didn’t feel lonely at all.
“Andrej…” I whispered his name as bravery came back to me. The man had kissed me, his body was hard between us, he wanted me. Surely that meant he wanted me to move with him, to explore his body, to learn what made him groan? He didn’t want a mouse to lie placid beneath him, prince or not, right?
“Tell me you’re mine, Cara.” The words came out raggedly, as if drawn from some dark place in his tortured soul. I wondered if princes really had a life of their own, their own desires, their own needs, when their lives were restricted from the moment of their birth? Could this man be as lonely as me, surrounded by people as he was?
My hand came up to cup his cheek and I looked up into his eyes. I saw desire there, hot and unyielding, but beneath all of that, I saw a pain he didn’t want anybody to know about. “I’m yours, Andrej, for as long as you want me.”
His lips came back down to mine and he picked me up in arms made of iron. He carried me to my quarters, and when he found my bedroom, he dropped me on the bed. I thought he’d stare down at me, but instead he followed me down. His body covered mine and I opened my legs to cradle him at my core. This is what I wanted, needed, from him.
His kiss stole my breath away, again, and when he pressed into my center, I gasped out a cry of delight. How could that feel so good? Wasn’t he supposed to be inside of me to make me feel that good? He groaned and did it again, grinding himself against me, and this time, we both sighed out a moan of pleasure.
“I can feel your heat already, Cara. I can already feel how wet you are. God, it feels so good to hold you.” He was
braced on his elbows as he looked down at me. “Your eyes are so open, so naked, I can almost see every thought in your head.”
I closed my eyes. I didn’t want him to see my thoughts. I didn’t want him to know how he wasn’t my first, but that he’d already given me far more pleasure than any back-seat fumbled disasters or third date handsyness ever had. That I’ve never had an orgasm in my life, and had no idea how to get a man off because I’ve never had time to learn. Once in high school, and once in college, both ended with a lesson in what it meant to be ghosted.
I opened my eyes to see Andrej’s green eyes were looking right back at me, full of fire and heat. Trust me, those eyes said, and I sank my fingers into his blond hair, to feel the silken locks at last. Keep that promise my mouth begged with each swipe of my tongue, with each suck of my lips against his.
“Make me yours,” I whispered as his mouth pressed to mine and we sank into the bed.
Chapter 6
Andrej
I could feel a slight tremor in her back as I pressed into her and knew she was nervous. I didn’t feel nervous at all, I just felt hard. She made my cock ache in ways I didn’t know it could. Paloma had been right. Whatever I’d been out tonight looking for, nothing could ever have satiated what I really wanted. And all I wanted was Cara, and the sweet, wet heat between her legs.
She’d never flirted with me; she’d only watched me with eyes that followed every move I made. I’d seen her when I passed her in the halls, or I’d come into a room she was in. Her eyes had always been for me, nobody else ever drew her the way I did. I’d tried to ignore it, but that sweet, innocent body needed my touch and she couldn’t deny it.
“You have done this before, haven’t you?” I’d wondered if she was a virgin, which would have been an oddity in this day and age, and decided it was best to just ask.