by Ames, Ilsa
My breasts felt swollen and they ached, but I knew the warm feel of his palms as he cupped them would make that ache go away. He proved me right when he did just that, his hot lips an added comfort that soon turned into a torment of its own. This was a good torment, the kind that made my hips squirm.
“You know I’ll never be good enough for you, don’t you, Cara?” His words stopped the rush of pleasure that had flooded me. Not just because he had stopped, but because the words held a ring of finality to them that made me cold somewhere deep inside.
His finger teased at my nipple still, a soft touch against silk that distracted me, but his eyes were on mine and I couldn’t look away.
“I’ll never be the man you deserve. I’m just not good enough for you. I’m…” His words halted as he sought out the right word. “I’m broken, Cara, and you need a man who is whole.”
“I only need you right now, Andrej. I don’t need anyone but you.” I brought his face back up to mine and kissed away his doubt. Desire ignited between us then, not that first, frantic kind that had got us in this mess to begin with, but the kind that flared and then burned hot and slow.
It pooled between my thighs, centered in one spot, as his hand slid down the plane of my stomach. I felt how hot and damp I was the minute his fingers coasted into my folds, and it made me moan. Only he could do that to me.
All this time, I’ve tried to convince myself I was only his toy, when in reality he’d thought that was all he was good for. That nearly broke me, and for the moment, it did. Andrej needed to know he was more than just a title, more than just a bank account. He needed to know he was a human, and that he deserved to be loved. All I could give him was this moment, right now, a moment that was perfect.
“I don’t need protection, Andrej, I just need you to fuck me.” I purred the words as I rose over him, my black silk nightgown bunched at my hips as I straddled his. “Do you think you can manage that?”
I ran a fingertip down his lips, along his chin, and down to circle a nipple that I proceeded to pinch just right, the way he liked. His eyes went from my swollen breasts to my lips before they closed in surrender. He was mine for now, I’d take that.
I moved down his chest, my palms tingled at the feel of his tight muscles beneath his silky skin. When I reached the soft cotton of his pajama bottoms, I pushed the elastic waist down and pulled it from his body. The silk of my gown had ridden up further, until my back was bare to him. I knelt between his legs, my ass bare and high in the air.
A flick of my eyes told me his eyes were glued to the pale flesh that hadn’t seen sunlight in years. He liked how pale I was, how different my skin was from the orange and tanned skin of the other women he knew. Every inch of me was pale and bare, just the way he liked me. I could see from the way he bit his lip that he wanted to touch me, wanted to take control back, but I wasn’t about to have it. I needed to show him what he meant to me.
I took his hard length in my hand and swallowed it down my throat before he could protest or make a move of any kind. I’d practiced on him until I’d learned the right technique, and now got the reward. His hips surged up to push himself deeper into my mouth. He had no control at all now, he’d let me have it all.
I could feel how hard my nipples were as they pressed into his muscled thighs. I wanted to grind against that thigh until I came apart, but my focus was on him. I don’t know when the man found the time to go to the gym, but I appreciated every second he spent in there. I knew he could often be found in the heated indoor pool the palace featured in the early hours of the day, but this wasn’t just a swimmer’s body. He was healthy beyond belief, and fit as fuck.
I worked my tongue over him, and delighted in the way his stomach muscles clenched. I caught his hips in my hands, my mouth was all I needed at the moment. I guided his movements into my mouth, and delighted in the way his firm ass rippled with each thrust he made. I memorized the sounds of his sighs, the delighted gasps as I did something particularly well. When his hips started to move in a rapid pace, a pace that no longer followed the pace I’d set, I pulled away and wiped my lips with sure fingers.
He looked down at me, confused. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I smiled. “I just want to savor the moment.”
For a moment it looked like he might take the control away, I could see the debate in his eyes. Let me play my little game or take what he wanted? He could be dominant like that sometimes, I knew that. He wasn’t always keen to let someone else have power over him, but sometimes, every now and then, he’d let me have my moments.
“Will you be a good girl and make me come?” he asked, his hand out to brush my hair out of my eyes.
“No, not at all.” I gave him a wicked smile, one meant to tease. He gasped and a smile twitched at his lips.
“You won’t make me come?” Now his voice held a tease of its own.
“Oh, I’ll certainly do that, but I can’t promise I’ll be a good girl. At all.” My finger came down to stroke him then, a move that rewarded me with a hiss as his hips twitched. He could have taken me then, flipped me over and fucked me however he wanted, and I wouldn’t have even whimpered in protest, because I wanted whatever he had to give me, but he didn’t. He wanted to see how far I’d go.
He let me go, his eyes now on the hard rise of his own cock, and his tongue came out to lick dry lips. I moved back over him, tonguing the crown of his hardness, just before I sucked it into my mouth. He groaned, loud and hard, and my body throbbed in response. I needed him inside of me, but I’d wait.
My body had become very sensitive since the pregnancy had developed, and it was only growing worse with each day that passed. Even now, I could feel how wet I was in the slick glide between my thighs. He’d pay me back later, so I let the desire burn through me without relief. I felt his slick shaft against my tongue, and moaned along its length as he slid deeper between my lips.
“I’m going to come straight down that pretty little throat of yours Cara, and then I’m going to fuck you so goddamned hard.” His fingers were tight in my hair, his hands held my head still as he took over, at last. I knew he would, he always did.
Andrej fucked my face, but I sucked him into it with glee. I wanted to feel the pulse of him between my cheeks, to taste the tang of his essence on my tongue. I might have been naive when I first came to this palace, but he’d taught me well.
His breath hitched in his chest, and he went still as I pulled back up off of his cock in a jagged stroke, and then I sucked the tip hard just as he cried out and exploded on my tongue. Pulse after pulse fell on my hungry little tongue and I swallowed every drop of him while my hand worked his length.
Just as he promised, the second he was done he tipped me onto my back and planted himself between my thighs. Andrej wasn’t the kind who needed a minute to recuperate, he just needed, and as he slid his hard length into me, I embraced him. I pulled him down to me as he drove into me wildly, without a rhythm. He ground against my clit as his lips found mine, and we moved together. His fingers were tight against my hips to hold me in place as he fucked me wildly and with abandon.
“Take me with you, Andrej, take me with you.” I didn’t know exactly what I meant, I might have just meant orgasm, but I might have also meant the rest of his life.
He rode me hard and fast, as if it might be the last time he would ever do it again, but I knew it wouldn’t be the last time. Not yet. I wrapped my legs around his hips and moved my slick walls in time with his hips, tilted myself until I found just the right angle, and then exploded beneath him. He cradled me to his body, there were no lines between our wet, sweat soaked skin, only the places where we touched and flowed into one another.
His arms were still tight around me as I came apart, but I still found room to throw my head back and cry out his name. “Take it, Cara, fuck you take it so well.”
His words were a groan now, a beatification of how much he gloried in me.
I could only take these moments,
and store them away for later. He never spoke to me like this outside of my bed; it was only here that he could let himself truly out to play.
The wave broke through me, and took his words away. All that I was then was skin and muscle that rippled beneath him in sheer delight. I had to hang on to these moments, because this might not be the last time, but that time was on its way. The day when I’d have to leave.
I didn’t want him to know about the baby, not because I wanted to keep the baby to myself, but because I knew how he’d react. I didn’t want this glorious adoration that wasn’t love but infatuation to end. I wanted to remember the way he’d fall away from me, only to drag me right back on top of him, as he did now. I wanted to remember the way he held me tight, as if he’d never let me go, couldn’t let me go. Before it was too late.
Chapter 14
Andrej
Cara was sick again. Fuck, this meant another night of no fun. She wouldn’t let me call the doctor, even though another week had passed, and she’d been sick at lunch time today. The nights were almost impossible to be near her. She’d retch for an hour, go back to bed, and then go right back again an hour or two later. She had started to put on weight too.
I noticed it in her breasts first, then her hips. She wasn’t able to move around much, so I put it off to that. It certainly wasn’t what she ate, because most of that came up before she could even digest it. Her mood had changed too. She had grown crankier with each day that passed, and earlier she’d nearly bitten my head off.
Just because I’d asked her to let me call the doctor again. What was it with her? Any sane person would want as much medical advice as she could get, but not her. I decided it was time to let her have her way. I wouldn’t watch her punish herself though. If she wanted to starve to death through vomiting, that was her business. Maybe my parents had been right. Maybe it was a bad idea to fuck the help.
And if our last conversation had left any impression, it was that asking said help about seeing a doctor again was a great way of turning her into a hissing she-devil.
After I left her in her quarters, I headed back to my office. “Viktor, can you bring me that file the agency sent me for au pairs? I suspect we might need a new one soon. This one hasn’t got any sense.”
“Certainly, sir.” He gave me a look. I didn’t quite understand why would he be angry with me, but he left quietly.
I took care of a few emails, told a world leader to fuck off with his offer for our oil, and carried on about my business. Cara wanted to drive me away, then fine. I wasn’t about to argue with her. I didn’t need that in my life.
Yeah, I cared about her, and a larger part of me needed her, but I didn’t need aggravation. She’d shown me the error of my ways with Livia, and she’d brought my little girl back to life, but that didn’t mean I’d go through the same crap I had with Ivana. She’d nearly broke me with her antics, or at least the will I held over my rage, but I’d maintained it. I wasn’t about to let anyone do that to me again. Not even Cara.
“Here’s the file, sir. Might I just say, sir, Cara has done a fine job with Livia. Perhaps she could be kept on, for a little while longer.”
“Pardon?” I snapped, my angry glare directly on his face.
“I mean, sir, she’s having some trouble at the moment, but she has said the doctor said it will pass.”
“Well, it hasn’t, and she’s turned into a harpie. I won’t tolerate it. Much like I won’t tolerate this insubordination. You’re dismissed, Viktor.” He held his nose up in the air and didn’t say a word, but I knew he was pissed. He would do his duties, but he would not speak to me again until I made some kind of overture of apology.
Stubborn fool. Just like Cara, thinking he knew best. Neither one knew what it was like to be me, but both were full of judgments about what I should and should not do. They didn’t have the pressure and burdens I had to carry with me. Both of them could go jump off a cliff, together, if they wanted to.
I growled at myself, my shoulders slumping as I rubbed my temples. I hadn’t been able to get between those beautiful legs of hers for days now and that had taken a toll on me. I wanted her, I wanted her desperately, but it was impossible when she was so damn ill.
But the fact of the matter was that not being with her was turning me into an asshole. Not being able to hold her, and touch her, and whisper every filthy thing I wanted to do to her, or how much I wanted to be with her was bringing a fury out from deep inside of me.
I sighed as I opened the file from the au pair agency and glanced at the other suggestions they’d sent before Cara. Unsuitable, should never have applied, scary crazy looking. None of the candidates had come to be nearly as suitable as Cara had. I pushed the folder away and leaned back into the luxurious embrace of the soft leather chair.
I kicked the chair out of my way when I stood up and stalked out of the office. “I’m going out. I’ll be back when I’m back.”
I could go and see Livia, but that would mean I would have to see Cara too, and after the way she’d told me to fuck off and that’s she’d leave if I ever mentioned a doctor again? Well, I wasn’t quite ready to see her again, just yet. In fact, I was a little bit pissed off with her about the whole thing. Why couldn’t she just see sense? She was an intelligent woman, after all, and brave. This looked like cowardice, and that wasn’t something I’d ever use to describe Cara.
She’d told me about the death of her parents, how she’d been raised by her mother’s best friend, and then lost that last bit of family too. She had no relatives here now, they’d all passed away before she was even born, so she was alone in the world. She’d made the decision to come here, alone, out of curiosity, but also bravery. Now, she wanted to act like a coward and not see another doctor? She wouldn’t even tell me the name of the doctor she had seen, like she knew I’d go to his office and force him to deal with this ailment properly.
Frustration wasn’t even the word for it, but there wasn’t anything more I could do. I felt a little unfair for my moment where I thought my parents might have been right. Cara must be afraid, and I was all she had really. She’d made friends with Alexa, but not with anyone else. I don’t know if she was just too shy to talk with them or if they avoided her. Either way, Cara was alone.
That didn’t mean she could treat me like I was some pool boy who could be tossed aside when she wasn’t well. It was her own fault too; she was the one who refused to treat this seriously. You’d think by now she’d want to see a doctor, to make the sickness stop. My jaw clenched and twitches in frustration. Time for a swim then.
I headed in that direction and soon lost myself in repetitive laps up and down the Olympic sized pool. Exercise had always been an outlet for me, even when I was young. I’d used it often and my body showed that. Everyone thought I stayed in top shape because I was a health fanatic, when it had nothing to do with that at all. It helped me to cope when I was a child faced with a life without love, and later when I married and faced a loveless marriage. It was exercise that got me through the anger I felt towards Ivana after our divorce, and now, it helped me to cope with my confusion over Cara.
Not long ago I’d wondered if I was in love with her. I’d never really known that emotion so I hadn’t known for sure. Now, I didn’t want to be in love with her. She wouldn’t take care of herself, and that made me angry. If she wouldn’t do that, why should I?
Because you care about her, a little voice somewhere deep inside of my head told me.
Alright, maybe I did care about her, but knew I didn’t deserve it right now. My brain decided it was time to remember the way I’d felt when I’d watch her with Livia, the way heat would burn around my heart and spread out to warm my body. It reminded me of how hard she made me when she played the temptress and did things she’d never dreamed about before she came here. I groaned and pulled myself out of the water at last.
I couldn’t swim with a hard-on. It was impossible to fight the drag. I chuckled as I headed to a changing room an
d dropped my wet swim trunks into a laundry chute. I covered myself in a luxuriously long and thick black bathrobe and took the back way to my quarters. Cara had never been here before, and likely wouldn’t be. Dark wood, dark curtains, and dark furniture let the world know this was a man’s abode. There were no frilly flowers, or even hints of lace. Just dark wood and leather.
This was my private sanctuary, and only one cleaner was allowed into it. Not even my father dared set foot in here without my permission. I went to my bedroom and through to my walk-in closet. The size of some bedrooms, the closet held suits, tuxedos, jeans, and shirts of every kind. Then there were my shoes, accessories, and jewelry. I didn’t wear much in the way of necklaces, but I did have a thing for watches and cuff links.
Where did I want to go this evening? I wouldn’t bother with an attempt to see Cara tonight. She was obviously not in the mood, and I didn’t want to spend my evening at home. I went through the closet with an eye for inspiration. I found a black suit, a red silk tie, and my favorite pair of cuff links. An Italian restaurant sounded good. And then, maybe a drink at Paloma’s place, I decided. Maybe three.
After an impeccable, but still uninspiring, meal I drove out to the place. The somber doorman knew me of course, and escorted me past the main bar area to a more private lounge.
“Now there’s a man who looks like he needs a drink.”
I nodded at Amos as he stepped into the room.
“Or a few. Paloma busy?”
“Indeed. You’re stuck with me for company,” Amos sighed dramatically. “She’s with him again.”
This time it was my turn to sigh. Paloma had given up seeing clients, except for one. He was a prince, I knew that much, though not a prince of where exactly. And as professional as she’d always been, Amos and I both knew things were different with this client. She liked him a lot, and had even eluded to promises he made from time to time of making her more than a woman he came to see for money from time to time.