“You want me and Liam to keep Carter tonight?” Denise asked carefully.
“No,” she shook her head. “Rooster’s gettin’ home, so late he’ll be asleep anyway. And if I want to have it out with him, I’m gonna have to meet him at his truck, because he’ll smile that sexy smile, and tell me I’m bein’ crazy. I’ll give in, and we’ll go to sleep with nothing being resolved.”
The two women were quiet for a moment, before Denise tapped her nails on the surface of the desk. “I’m only telling you this because I know it’s sometimes hard for you to see what’s right in front of you, but prepared to be wrong. I think you’re wrong about your husband, and if you are, you’ll owe him an apology for even doubting him. I think he’s like the rest of us, real life gets in the way and you struggle with how to deal with it. Sometimes you’re just running from one thing to another, putting out fires to deal with everything that pops up and has to be dealt with right away. And sometimes boxing up the stress to deal with the work that needs to be done is what helps us survive.”
But that was the issue at hand. He should be coming to her; they should be working through it together. Maybe that’s what hurt more than anything. He wasn’t coming to her with his problems. She felt the stress too, wondered where in the fuck they were going to get the money for everything that seemed to be breaking down around them. Wondered how they were going to pay the credit card bills at the end of the month, because they’d gone a little overboard on Christmas gifts for Carter and their nieces and nephew for Christmas. It wasn’t as if he had the market cornered on being worried and stressed for their family.
They should be going through the stress together; they should be helping to hold each other up. Instead it seemed as if he were taking it all on his shoulders and shutting her out. That didn’t fly at all with her, not after how she’d grown up watching her parents behave with one another.
“I’m gonna do it, tonight I’m going to confront him and see what the fuck is going on,” she nodded her head, decisions made.
Denise squeezed her hand. “Good luck with that. We’ll see if the two of you ride into work together tomorrow.”
With any luck, Roni hoped they would.
‡
Chapter Two
Rooster yawned so wide his jaw popped as he made his way along the backroads of Warren County. Glancing at the dashboard, he shook his head and rubbed his eyes as he saw the green numbers flash two AM. It had been a long fucking day, and he was going to have to get up and do it again tomorrow. In five hours to be exact.
That was okay though; he didn’t mind working hard for his family. Didn’t mind how his knees ached from standing, how his head hurt from the loud noises of everyone talking around him, how his stomach clenched because he hadn’t eaten dinner before he left. He would do it for Roni and Carter. He would kill himself with the hours he was keeping before he gave up and let them feel like he wasn’t taking care of them.
But Lord, he was tired. Tired as hell. One more week, he kept telling himself. One more week and Christmas would be over, the security gigs would be done and then things could go back to normal. Tightening his grip on the steering wheel, he tried to think about how things had gotten this way.
The perfect storm, he realized. A slow-down for work due to the holidays and then every major appliance they owned bit the dust at once. He’d almost cried when their heater had gone out. They’d woken up to a cold house and Carter had come running in their room shivering. That memory alone was enough to give him nightmares. He never wanted his son to be cold, never wanted him to know what it was like not to have heat on a chilly night. It made him feel like the shittiest parent in the world, even though he knew he couldn’t have predicted their unit would go out on one of the coldest nights of the year.
And Roni, fuck but he missed her. Missed going to bed at the same time as her, missed waking up excited for the day. Right now it was all he could do to drag ass out of bed. He didn’t truly start waking up until his work day at the shop was almost over. Some of the guys had been covering for him while he caught cat naps on the couch in their break area. It’d been rough, but he only had one more week to go and he’d be home free.
Roni was killing him though, she kept looking at him like he was about to break, like he was about to lose his mind. He wasn’t sure what was going on in her head, but he knew eventually they’d have it out. His wife wasn’t one to let things stew for very long. He was pretty surprised at how long she’d allowed them to stew so far.
As he turned off the main road and into their complex of townhouses, he checked the clock again. Two-thirty. Fuck was it even worth it to eat? He was contemplating a protein bar when he caught sight of their front door opening and saw the silhouette of his wife walking towards him.
Parking the truck, he took it out of gear and prepared to face off with the most important woman in his life. For a few seconds his heartbeat sped up and he worried something was wrong with Carter or someone else they cared about. As she walked, his headlights caught her face and he realized she was pissed. She’d obviously had enough and she was ready to have it out. Seeing her face, he knew this wasn’t going to be easy; it was going to leave them both raw. Putting a hand to his sternum he rubbed to ease the ache there, before placing his hand on the doorknob and letting the cold air in.
He could tell by the way Roni stood, her posture, the way she had her hands on her hips, the look in her eyes, she was ready to read him the riot act. Why, he had no idea, but he dredged up what little energy he had left to fortify himself as he opened the door and stepped out of the truck.
“You look like you’ve got a mad on,” he said by way of greeting to her.
“You’re damn right,” she answered as she folded her arms over her chest. “I decided to meet you out here since Carter’s asleep inside, and I’m sick of tip-toeing around the issue.”
Funny, he hadn’t been aware there was an issue. Apparently she had, because she was as mad as he’d ever seen her. “Care to fill me in on why we have an issue and why you’re mad as hell?”
“You can admit it,” she threw the words at him like they were an accusation. “You can admit you miss it more than you ever thought you would, and you love it more than you love us.”
Now he was confused. “Admit what? There’s nothing in the world I love more than you and Carter. What the fuck are you talking about?”
Roni turned around, pushing her fingers through her hair. “You want to go back to it.”
“Back to what? Babe,” he sighed. “You have to tell me what you mean. I can’t read your damn mind.”
Turning around she crossed her arms over her chest again in what he recognized as a defensive move for her. “You want to go back to being a deputy. You miss it, I can tell. You wish you hadn’t given it up to be a part of the club.”
Rooster felt as if he’d been kicked in the chest. Putting his hand back up to the ache, he leaned against the seat of his truck, holding on tightly to the door he hadn’t yet closed. He had no idea where this was coming from, and he knew he had to get to the heart of the matter. “What in the world makes you think that?”
“When you leave to go to the security job, you’re smiling, you’re laughing. You’re excited to go,” she explained like he should know exactly what she was talking about. “You get up to go to the shop, you’re sighing and dragging ass. You’re not excited to be going to the shop anymore. You aren’t excited to be with us anymore.”
She thought she knew his life? She thought she knew how tired he was, how he was burning the candle at both ends, and how he just wanted to curl up with her at the end of the night. “I’m tired, Roni,” he sighed. “So fucking tired.”
“I knew it,” she cried, tears starting to stream down her face. “I knew you would get tired of us.”
Frustrated he growled and stalked to her, pulling her with him to the truck. Bending, he lifted her onto the seat so she faced him. He stood on the outside, one hand braced against the
frame. “Stop thinking you know how I feel about everything, because you’re about to get a crash course.”
Rooster got in her face, making sure her eyes met his, hoping like hell she could see exactly what his feelings were on the matter. “You think I like being away from you all at night? You think I like going back to what I was doing?” he growled. “You think I actually enjoy the fact we couldn’t afford to pay for everything that happened to us all at once? It was embarrassing to take on this second job. As if all that’s not enough, I don’t have the energy right now to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. And what about Carter? I never get to see him. He’s asleep when I leave; he’s asleep when I get home. This isn’t fuckin’ fun for me, Sharon.”
And having to admit that out loud was even more embarrassing. He wasn’t the type of man to ask for favors, but he’d had to when he realized how small their bank account was and how large the cost of fixing the problems were.
“You just seem like you enjoy it,” she whispered.
“What I enjoy is being with you and Carter. What I enjoy is the fact I figured out a way to make up the money we needed, and even had a little extra left over to get you a Christmas present. If you see me smiling when I leave at night, that’s the only reason why. I don’t like being away from you guys, and I sure as hell don’t like letting Liam know he can’t give me enough work to pay my bills. It pisses me off, if you want me to be completely honest with you. But what really pisses me off, is you would think those things about me.”
“I’m sorry,” her voice was small. She blew out a deep breath. “I guess it looks like I decided to lay blame on you for things I’ve taken the wrong way. I should have talked to you, offered to take some of Carter’s gifts back, should have talked to you instead of making snap judgments.”
The time for apologies had gone by the way side. Now, he was pissed. “You didn’t say any of this shit to Liam did you?”
“No,” she shook her head. “I didn’t, I promise.”
“Good, because I’m here to tell you that sweet ass of yours is already in some deep trouble.”
The tone in his voice switched to one that was undeniably sexy, and he could see the reaction in her eyes.
“Yeah?” she asked as she gave him a grin.
“Oh yeah.”
‡
Chapter Three
Roni realized pretty quickly that she’d made a big mistake accusing her husband the way she did. All the feelings she’d thought he was having were obviously all in her head and that made her feel awful. The only thing he’d been doing was going to work and making a better life for their family and all she’d done was dump on him for her feelings of being “abandoned”. He hadn’t wanted his old life back, he was working himself to the bone to provide for her and Carter and all she’d done is add to the heavy load he’d already shouldered for them.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered again. There was no way he’d know exactly how sorry she was. Normally she wasn’t quick to assume the worst when it came to him but she’d been looking for a fight, apparently feeling sorry for herself when she’d no call to at all.
“You’re sorry?” he gave her a dark grin. “You’re gonna have to come up with something a little more than you’re sorry, Roni. This could all have been avoided if you would have just been up front with me and asked me what the hell was going on, rather than assuming it was all about you.”
She knew that like she knew the sun would rise tomorrow. Had she just been itching for a fight? Had it really been that long? “I don’t know what else to tell you. I am sorry, so sorry, I doubted you for even a little bit.”
“I thought we were past that in our relationship. Together for four years, married for three, and you aren’t sure about me? C’mon babe, give me something better than that. Wanna know what I think?”
Shaking her head no, she ducked her chin against her chest. She didn’t want to know what he thought, because she was sure he’d tell her she was fucking insane.
“Too bad, I’m gonna tell you anyway,” he pulled her down from the truck and kissed her on the forehead. “I think you wanted to push us to get mad at each other so we could make up.”
She couldn’t deny how sexy he looked in his security uniform. It was almost like his Sheriff’s Deputy one, but it was black and the sleeves were long. He wore a bullet-proof vest underneath and it gave him a bulkier frame. Was that really why she’d gotten so irritated with him?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh you don’t?” he turned her around, leaning over her back to place her hands on the leather of the driver’s seat. “Let’s see how you really feel about it.”
Neither one of them were aware of the cold as he crowded into her space, leveraging himself over her back. Using his legs, he pinned her against the truck and ran his hands down her torso, cupping her breasts with his hands. Roni sucked in a breath as both his palms connected with hard nipples and she did her best not to cry out loudly. She hadn’t put a bra on before coming out to meet him, so they swung unencumbered against the flannel of her pajama top. Keeping quiet was hard but she knew she had to, especially since they were out in the open there in their parking lot.
“Nipples are hard,” he observed, as he separated two fingers and squeezed the tips.
She moaned, pushing her ass back against his body, feeling his hard cock already at attention. Wetness flooded her core, making her wonder what exactly he was going to do with her. Before he could ask, he’d moved his hand down her stomach and to the drawstring of her pajama pants.
Snaking his fingers inside, she felt him moan as he discovered she wasn’t wearing underwear. As soon as she took a shower and was in her pajamas, there were no undergarments for her. She’d been so ready to give him a piece of her mind, she hadn’t even thought about it, as she ran from their townhouse. When his finger dipped into her heat, she sucked in a shot of cold air on a gasp.
“Pussy wet and clenching, too,” his voice was dark in her ear. The rasp of his five-o’clock shadow against her neck was enough to make her whimper.
“You know you have me,” she accused. “It doesn’t take much for me to heat up for you. I’m always ready.”
“Yet,” he shoved a finger inside her tight heat. “You felt the need to pick a fight with me. Why is that wifey?”
She thought about it as well as she could, because he was doing things to her he’d never done to her. It wasn’t as if they were newbies to getting freaky outside, they’d done it once or twice but never in the parking lot where anyone could see them. A flash of heat slammed through her as he took his free hand and stripped her pj pants down her legs, letting her feel the frigid bite of the cold air against her flesh.
“Feel good?” he asked.
He was definitely asking too many questions for her to concentrate on. She blinked her eyes heavily and tried to focus on the doorknob on the opposite side of the truck, but she couldn’t even see that clearly. Her vision was blurry as she tried to keep herself upright.
“I wanted you to take me,” she finally pushed out between parched lips. “I didn’t want you to be careful. I wanted you to take me. To make me yours, the way you used to.”
She was so ready for it when she heard him mutter a curse between his teeth and felt his hands going to his belt buckle behind her. She heard the polyester uniform pants give way and wanted to scream in frustration but when she felt the fabric rubbing against her ass, she knew she was close to getting what she wanted.
“This is what you wanted?” he asked seconds later, using the head to tease her core.
She mumbled something, but wasn’t sure what she said.
“I can’t hear you Roni, is this what you wanted?” His voice was as dark as she’d ever heard it, and fuck if she didn’t love it.
Throwing her head back, she answered with an emphatic yes. She moaned loudly when he thrust the last of the way in her body. Her nails scraped the edges of the leather seat, trying t
o hold on as he kicked her legs further apart. She could almost hear him telling her to assume the position, but that would have been a little crude, even for her.
Pushing back against him, she got herself at an almost ninety-degree angle and held on as he took her on a ride that only he could.
*
Rooster did his best to hang on to any of the sanity he had left, and he had to admit there wasn’t much. Grasping her hips, he held on carefully to protect them from the beating they were taking as he thrust into her, hoping to keep her from having bruises in the morning. He knew he was heavy on top of her, the bullet-proof vest adding extra weight, but Roni said nothing as she let him take her.
Fuck, they hadn’t even kissed and while part of him felt bad for missing that, there was something about this angry fucking he couldn’t get enough of. And he was angry at her, for deciding she knew what was going on in his head before she asked him any questions. She assumed and he thought they’d finally moved past that in their relationship.
The leather of his shoes squeaked against the cold of the night and just hanging onto her hips didn’t give him enough of an anchor. He had to let her go, even though he was reluctant to do so, and ended up bracing one hand on the doorframe, the other on the headrest of the seat. With that grip, he could swing his hips into her and then away from her and not lose his grip on sanity.
“Rooster,” she called out in time with his thrusts. Hearing the breaking of her voice in time with the rhythm he was fucking her was crude but at the same time, probably the biggest turn on of his life.
“What do you need?” he asked, even though he knew. He liked to hear her tell him, liked when she could let go enough to lose it for him.
A Heaven Hill Christmas Page 17