“I think so. And so is that tall bloke next to him, the one they call ‘Stick’.”
Tina giggled at that because the description was so apt. Stick had long, thin, gangly legs and arms. Then she felt bad about laughing as she knew how important looks and nicknames were. The year before she had been nicknamed ‘Tub’ or ‘Tubby’ and she had hated it. ‘I hope I don’t have a horrible nickname now,’ she thought anxiously.
Because she was so shy and because the boys stayed in such a tight group Tina had no chance to talk to Andrew during the morning break. All she could manage were a few friendly comments as they walked into their next class. This was Maths B with Mr Ritter and he made them work very hard and did not tolerate any talking or interruptions.
Music followed with Miss Wall. Tina loved music and she also intensely admired Miss Wall who was in her early twenties and was both very talented and very stylish in her dress and behavior. The fact that Andrew seemed to be oblivious to music was a source of secret pain to Tina and she could only shake her head in puzzlement.
The period before ‘Big Lunch’ was Physics with Mr Holden. He was a very serious and strict teacher and Tina respected him. So did Andrew, who appeared to be deeply interested in the subject. But Andrew sat with Blake and Tina was much to shy to push in beside him.
It was during Physics she got another of those disquieting jolts that sent her anxiety level shooting up. There was another army cadet in her class- and she was a very attractive blonde- Gwen Copeland. Gwen was another corporal but she was much more. She appeared to have all the things Tina felt she lacked: beauty, a perfect figure, wit, charm, a style and grace to the way she dressed and the way she moved that could only inspire both envy and anxiety- particularly when Andrew kept talking to her and smiling!
But it wasn’t that simple. Tina thought Gwen was a lovely person and she actually liked her enormously and had seen her being very helpful to other students. So even though she was afraid that Andrew might fall for Gwen Tina still admired her.
Nor did Tina get any real chance to talk to Andrew at lunch time as he went off with a group of Year 10 boys to play soccer on the oval. Tina could only wistfully wish she was more active. Instead she went to the library and helped as she was a Library Monitor.
The afternoon classes were no better for furthering Tina’s romantic ambitions. There was Chemistry with Mr Feldt, a grey haired stick of a man who had a very droll sense of humour and really knew his subject. Andrew was very good at Chemistry and had no time for social diversions during it. German with Mr Ritter was no better. So the end of the day arrived and Tina was left with a vague ache of longing and wishful daydreaming to leave her unsatisfied.
Then it was home on the bus and the routine of homework and household chores. One of these was feeding the birds so she collected the seed and water and made her way out through the back gate. As she reached Beaky’s cage she saw movement next door. It was the man who lived there, Neville (She never knew his last name), a thin man with a dark beard flecked with grey. Hearing her he looked up and nodded.
Tina felt shy but nodded back and said “Hello.” Then, as he was obviously cleaning out the cages where the cockatoos had been kept she plucked up the courage to ask what had happened to them.
Neville shrugged and said, “Sold them to pet shops,” he answered. Then he turned away and left the cage. Tina felt a bit awkward at the snub but decided it was her own fault. ‘It was none of my business,’ she thought. So she fed the birds and then the dog.
Dinner and the TV news followed. That brought Tina a very unpleasant shock- the Ranger had died. It took a while for the meaning to sink in and then she began to cry. Her mother at once moved to comfort her but all Tina could think of was what a waste it was. “He was so young and handsome mum. It is just terrible.”
She was so upset she could not eat anymore and went to her room where she lay quietly weeping. Thoughts of death and of what it might be like to die came to depress her and make her anxious. It was not a subject she gave much thought to normally but now it seemed to take over her mind and she became very sad and thoughtful. She knew she had to die one day but whenever she did think about it there was the hazy notion that it was sixty or seventy years away when she was an old granny.
Later Tina suggested to her parents that they attend the ranger’s funeral but her mother was strongly against that so she dropped the subject. It was only after the washing up had been done (Garth washed, she wiped and put away) that she remembered the holidays. These holidays, ten whole days of them- were now starting to loom as a bit of a black hole in Tina’s life. She knew many of her friends were going off to do exciting and interesting places and she was quite unsure what a week-long family fishing trip might be like.
When the family was settled in the dining room for supper Tina asked about them. “Are we still going for this trip?” she asked.
By the surprised look on her parent’s faces she knew the answer even before her father said, “Why of course. I am really looking forward to it.”
Tina’s mother frowned. “Aren’t you keen on the idea Ti?”
Tina shrugged. “Yes, but I am a bit worried I might get bored, or that we might not get on with the Creswells,” she replied.
“But I thought Sarah was your best friend,” her mother said.
“She is Mum, but I don’t really know the rest of the family,” Tina answered.
“It will be alright dear,” her mother answered. Tina had to be content with that but later as she did her homework she thought, ‘I hope so!’
Later she watched the late news and this time the announcer stated that the police were now searching for three men for the murder of the ranger. ‘Murder!’ she thought, ‘and we were witnesses.’
That got her wondering if she would ever have to appear in court and that idea did not appeal. But then another much worse thought crept into her mind. ‘If I am a witness then those men might hurt me to stop me talking.’ It was a scary thought and she comforted herself by the thought that the men would have no ideas who she was or where she lived. But it was still anxious girl who turned the lights out and went to bed that night.
CHAPTER 6
EASTER
Wednesday was similar. Tina woke up feeling anxious and as soon as she arrived at school she sought out Sarah to check if her family was still planning to go on the fishing trip. Sarah nodded her head and replied that her father was really looking forward to it.
“What about you?” Tina asked.
“OK I suppose,” Sarah answered. “Why? Don’t you want to go?”
“I’m a bit anxious,” Tina admitted. “I am worried we might all get bored or get on each others nerves and clash.”
“It will be alright,” Sarah assured her.
At that moment Tina saw Andrew and all worries about holidays went out of her head. She thought, ‘I wish it was Andrew’s family we were going away with!’ But she did not say this. Instead she began to chatter about her birds and how they were misbehaving. “Particularly poor old ‘Beaky’. Since the cockatoos went from next door he seems to be doing a lot of moping,” she said.
“Where did they go? Did they get away?” Sarah asked. She was a dog person and did not care about birds at all.
“No, they just weren’t there one morning,” Tina replied. “The cage was still closed.”
“Maybe they gave them to friends, or sold them?” Sarah suggested.
Further discussion was interrupted by Lynn who arrived agog with the latest scandal concerning teachers. Apparently the male art teacher had been sprung kissing the female art teacher in the art storeroom.
“Who saw them?” Tina asked. The subject of kissing was one she was very interested in and she could only wish it was her being kissed- but by Andrew!
The girls discussed the incident until the bell went. Then it was in to Maths A with Mr Maclaren. This was followed by English with Mrs Standish. During this lesson they were given an assignment to research over t
he holidays to write a description of a place they were going to visit.
During the morning break Tina sat with her girl friends and they talked. She could see Andrew in the distance but he was with the usual group of boys and she pretended she wasn’t interested. ‘Oh! I wish he would notice me,’ she thought with a mixture of exasperation and wistfulness.
The three lessons during the middle session were Maths B with Mr Ritter, Physical Education, and Computing with Mr Hamilton. Hamish Hamilton was a handsome young man with a moustache and Tina knew he fancied himself with the ladies. But she found that only mildly annoying and even laughed at his attempts to flirt with some of the girls. What really peeved her was that he made no attempt to flirt with her! ‘He must think I am too ordinary,’ she mused.
By coincidence Mr Hamilton was also an Officer of Cadets in the school’s army cadet unit so she was able to relate to him fairly well. From time to time he made a dig at the Navy or Navy Cadets but it was always a friendly comment.
Wednesday afternoons were when the army cadets did their 2 hour ‘Home Training’ parade. This was at the school and they began with a company admin parade on the grass quadrangle at 1545hrs. Sometimes Tina would stay and watch, but usually only when Andrew or Carmen did so. This time she did not, even though she wanted to. Instead she went home as usual.
At home Tina fed the pets and then cleaned the bird cage. As she did she chirped to Beaky, talking to him as though he was a human being. “Need to clean up old chap,” she said. “We will be away for a week and you will be fed by dear old Mrs Norton from next door.”
It was an arrangement that worried Tina but she did not have much choice. Mrs Norton had minded the pets on previous occasions but it had never quite been to Tina’s satisfaction.
As she worked Tina glanced at the empty cage next door and made a wry face. “Poor Old Beaky, you must be a bit lonely now,” she said. “I hope the neighbours get some more birds soon.”
That evening Tina began packing for the trip. Usually she was filled with excitement about holiday trips but this time she felt quite anxious. Partly it was because they were going much farther out into the ‘Gulf Country’ but mostly she knew it was because she wanted to be with other friends.
Thursday was a wearing and slightly anxious day. At least half the students were absent so most classes were just supervisions with no real teaching being done. Tina didn’t mind that as she could happily read or draw or quietly gossip but it was still a frustrating waste of time. She did not like to just sit around.
The fact that Andrew still did not seem to notice her and the knowledge that he and Carmen were going off to camp on some island down near Cardwell did not help. Tina had heard the most amazing rumours of what had happened at that island the previous year. These included tales of nudity and pirates. It was the mention of a busty blonde nudist from Townsville that got Tina jealous and worried.
‘I hope Andrew doesn’t have an affair with her,’ she thought unhappily.
Then it was 3pm and school was over for ten days. Tina sighed with relief and made her way home to flop onto her bed. The holidays had begun!
That evening Tina completed her packing. She then helped her mother with the evening meal and washing up before settling in front of the TV with some books. Among her personal library were such useful works as What Bird is that? and A Handbook of Australian Birds.
As she leafed through them Tina studied the familiar pictures and hope she would see many of those that were illustrated. Ever since Year 3 she had been a keen bird watcher and kept a detailed notebook of her sightings and observations. She also tried to take photos of them but so far with limited success.
‘I wish I had the money to buy a really good camera with a telephoto lens,’ she thought. It was one of her strongest desires and for several years now she had been hinting aloud to parents and grandparents that such a gift would be very much appreciated. But so far several birthdays and Christmases had slipped by with no such present appearing.
While she was looking at her books her father knocked on her doorway and came in holding a magazine. “I thought this one might interest you. I had to do a bit of digging to find it. But if you want to see any bird, this is the one.”
He handed the magazine to Tina and she saw it was an Australian Geographic and on the cover was a picture of the cutest, most beautiful bird she had ever seen. It had a brilliant purple breast and yellow undersides and a black face.
“A Gouldian Finch,” she read.
She was instantly captivated and sat reading for the next half hour. The story quite gripped her but also saddened her when she read that the beautiful little creature was endangered and now quite rare. ‘It is just so lovely,’ she thought, noting that some of the species had bright red faces. She decided to make a special effort to keep a sharp lookout for them although her reading did not make her very hopeful.
And then there were three relatively boring and lonely days because Tina’s grandmother insisted that they not go away during the Easter period. Tina found this irritating because she was not very religious but she dearly loved her Gran so she accepted her wishes, as did her mother. Her grandmother came from a strict north of England protestant background, very dour and serious; all hard-working, God-fearing folk.
So Good Friday was spent quietly at home and with a visit to Gran. Saturday was a more normal day with lots of chores. These were the usual and numerous little things that had accumulated over the last few months and that everyone had been too busy to attend to. For Tina it meant a day of helping re-pack the garden shed in the backyard, plus a lot of sweeping, scrubbing and caring for pets. She also helped her mother with a back-log of laundry.
Sunday morning meant church and they picked up Gran and took her. Tina actually enjoyed that and was glad she went. ‘I should go more often,’ she thought, knowing that she did not feel guilty enough and that idea spurring even more guilt. She also experienced a spasm of guilt at disloyal thoughts about her church. Over the last year or so she had attended church ceremonies with some of her friends of different denominations and had been quite impressed by the colour and spectacle they presented, particularly the Roman Catholic, Anglican and Greek Orthodox services. They were a stark contrast to the austere furnishings and drab clothing of her own strict church.
But at least the duty was done and after returning Gran to her home and enjoying a pleasant lunch it was home and final preparations for the fishing trip. With that came the rising excitement and anxiety and once again she wished she was with Andrew and his family on their tropical island.
‘But how can I compete with busty nude blondes?’ she wondered, experiencing yet again a spurt of intense dislike for such creatures. This was immediately followed by another bout of guilt for being jealous and for having unkind thoughts. But it did not help much. Once again she bewailed the fate that had given her a stout build and dark hair. And she knew she was too inhibited to deliberately use her most obvious assets to attract Andrew’s attention.
The family was up early on Monday morning and Tina at once went to feed Beaky and the other birds. There were more doubts about whether the birds would be properly cared for but it was too late to change any plans like that so she had to just hope and she gave Beaky an extra serve of feed ‘just in case’.
After breakfast came the complicated business of loading the ‘Jackaroo’ 4WD. Tina knew her mother was very fussy about how this was done so she tried to stay right out of the way and could only shake her head when she heard her father getting into trouble for just shoving things in.
“It is all in the vehicle,” he said.
“But we need to be able to get things out easily and it has to be done neatly or it won’t all fit,” Tina’s mother replied, scolding and pulling the items out for re-stowing.
‘Oh silly Dad!’ Tina thought. ‘When will you learn that Mum knows best?’
The loading and packing was all done by 8:00, which was apparently half an hour later than
the time Tina’s mother had planned on. The family then took their places in the vehicle. Tina’s mother drove with her father in the front passenger seat. She went behind him in the left hand seat and little brother Garth sat on her right. The boat was hooked on behind and with a last round of ‘have we got everything?’ questions they were off.
First they drove over to the Creswell’s. They were also packed and ready and also had a boat trailer hooked on behind and a ‘Canadian’ canoe lashed to the roof racks of the ‘Patrol’ 4WD. Mr Creswell was a big, burly man with a cheerful personality but Mrs Creswell always looked slightly anxious to Tina. Mrs Creswell was a slim woman with mousy-fair hair cut at shoulder length. Two younger brothers completed Sarah’s family. Aiden was 9 Years old and a bright little fair-haired boy with a very inquisitive mind. Michael was 11 and in Year 6 and had glasses. He was a ‘beanpole’ of a lad and looked awkward and gawky and always looked serious and slightly surprised.
After a brief discussion on the route and stops along the way the two vehicles set off, Tina’s family leading. That suited her and she suddenly felt anxious as well as excited and she just wanted to quietly cope.
The first part of the trip was very familiar: south along the Bruce Highway to Gordonvale and then west into the Mulgrave Valley. Tina enjoyed that section of the journey, partly because of the scenery- which she thought the most beautiful in Australia- and partly because of pleasant memories. She had done canoe trips on the Mulgrave with the Navy Cadets and also numerous family picnics at lovely places like Ross and Locke.
But she didn’t enjoy the next part, which was 20km of winding road up the side of the mountains along the Gillies Highway. The scenery was spectacular but the endless curves soon had her feeling queasy. Only when they came out of the dense tropical rain forest onto the open farmland of the Atherton Tablelands did she start to relax.
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