Later Tina noted Graham dancing with Gwen Copeland. Once again the ‘fairy princess’ idea floated across her consciousness and she knew she was jealous, both of Gwen’s beauty and, she realized with a shock, that she was dancing with Graham. Seeing them together caused Tina to look around for little Margaret. She found her standing beside Graham’s sister Kylie, again looking anxious but smiling in spite of it. ‘She’s a good kid. I hope he does love her.’ Then she shook her head. ‘I shouldn’t be thinking about Graham. I am in love with Andrew,’ she told herself.
Soon after that another small incident occurred which caused Andrew to comment to her. During a break between dances a couple walked in the door: Stephen Bell and Marjorie. From the look of the grass in her rumpled hair and on the back of her dress Marjorie had been out having a tumble on the lawn. Tina saw Fiona point and heard her say, “I thought Marjorie was Willy Williams’ girlfriend.”
“So did I,” Karen agreed.
Tina remembered seeing Stephen and Marjorie together earlier in the evening. But she still felt a spurt of sympathy. ‘Poor Willy! He must have been dumped!’ Worry over possible rivals and over being dumped gave her much food for thought and took some of the shine off the evening. But Tina still enjoyed it and it was with real regret she danced the last dance with Andrew. During that he held her tight and then waked with her hand in hand when she went to collect her belongings.
As they waited for her mother to collect her Andrew stood with his arm around her waist. That made her feel good and the fact that other girls were seeing it was nice ego food too but she yearned for more. ‘I wish he would kiss me,’ she thought. And she baldy wanted him to ask for another date.
‘Does he love me? Will he take me out again?’ she worried.
CHAPTER 27
ANXIETIES
But Andrew did not ask and Tina went home hopeful but disappointed. Nor did she see him the next day. Sunday she spent at home. Most of the time she rested, dozing or reading, but there were also chores to be done and a visit to Aunty Flo. Tina had to clean out the bird cages and while she did that she chattered to Beaky and the budgies. She also cast frequent anxious glances through the back fence. Not knowing was what nagged at her.
‘Is Neville involved in this bird poaching and smuggling?’ she wondered, noting that there were now six black cockatoos and a dozen red breasted finches in the aviary next door. Once again she wondered if she should tell someone in authority about how frequently the birds in Neville’s cages changed. Not having acted made her feel guilty. But she was also afraid. ‘If I tell and he has not broken the law it will make for a very unpleasant neighbourhood,’ she thought. ‘And it could cause a great deal of distress to his family and harm to him if he is innocent.
Then the more chilling thought came to her. ‘And if he is and he gets away then he might come to get me too.’ She vaguely understood that most people charged with some crime were let out on bail. ‘They only keep them locked up before their trial if they are accused of some really serious crime,’ she told herself.
And once again she wondered if Beaky minded being locked up too. ‘He is in jail. But would he be better off free?’ she wondered.
Monday was better. Andrew actually came over to where she sat at school and then sat down next to her. That both embarrassed and pleased Tina as it caused a wave of smiling chatter and gossip among the other girls.
Andrew seemed to be oblivious to them. He talked in a relaxed way and Tina was able to relax too. She kept hoping he would ask her for a date or at least to hint he might visit her. So she got a shock when he casually mentioned that he and his family were going to Townsville for the long weekend. That sent Tina’s anxiety level shooting up. ‘That blonde girl who is a nudist lives there,’ she thought.
After Andrew had wandered off to join his mates Tina sat and worried about how Andrew felt about the girl in Townsville and about what might happen. That made her feel guilty because Andrew had promised not to cheat on her but she was a normal human and experienced doubts. It also made her wonder what to do during the long weekend. Her own family had made no plans that she was aware of other than visiting Aunty Ida.
She turned to Sarah and said, “Is your family still going camping up at Lake Tinaroo?”
Sarah nodded. “Yes, but we have had our campsite changed. We were going to School Point but the Forestry people have changed it because they are cutting timber along that road and they have closed it off. We have been relocated to Fongon Bay.”
Tina had once been to Fongon Bay and was able to conjure up a vague image of the place. She nodded and said, “You are lucky. I don’t think I am going anywhere.”
Sarah at once took the cue. “Why don’t you join us for a day, or maybe even two days?”
“I’d love to. You are very kind,” Tina said. She felt a gush of gratitude for her friend. “But will your parents mind?”
“I’ll ask them tonight,” Sarah promised.
She did and phoned Tina to tell her it would be OK. Tina then went to ask her own parents. Her mother was happy for her to go but her father said, “You will have to ride your bike up. We will be too busy.”
For a second Tina thought about the many kilometres of winding mountain road up the Gillies Highway and she quailed at the thought. Then she saw the grin developing on her father’s face. “Oh Dad! You don’t mean that?”
“No. I was teasing you. But we will have to think about our movements,” her father replied.
Garth then piped up, “What about me?”
“You are staying home to mow the lawn and sweep out the courtyard,” Mr Babcock replied.
This time it was Tina’s turn to grin at the indignant look on her little brother’s face. He began to angrily protest then their father burst out laughing. So the family weekend was planned.
The remainder of the week then dragged by. Andrew spoke to Tina every day but not once did he suggest a date. It was Graham who kept hinting at it whenever he met her when Andrew wasn’t there. Tina was both pleased and annoyed. ‘He knows I am going out with Andrew. He shouldn’t put me under that sort of pressure,’ she thought. But it was very nice to be asked and she realized she was looking forward to their meetings.
She also noted that Barbara was moping around looking very unhappy. Every time Tina saw her she was reminded of the scene at the dance and that caused her little twinges of regret. The dance had not been the success she had hoped.
The only other incident of note was on the Thursday when she and Sarah went to the library to do some research for an assignment. Tina had just settled with a reference book when Sarah came hurrying over, her face alight with scandalized excitement.
“Tina, come and look! Quick!” Sarah squeaked.
Tina was so intrigued by Sarah’s excitement that she did as she was asked. She stood up and followed Sarah along between several rows of bookshelves. When Sarah stopped and pointed through a gap in the books Tina peeked through. Sarah leant close and whispered, “It is Willy and that Year 8 girl, Marjorie.”
It was. Tina saw that they were sitting close together and that Marjorie had her left hand in under the desk and was obviously doing something naughty as Willy was looking embarrassed. “I thought they had broken up,” Tina whispered to Sarah.
Sarah nodded, her eyes alight with interest. “So did I, but it looks like they have made up.”
Tina nodded but then overheard Willy say, “Marjorie! Stop that! We will get into trouble.”
Marjorie had a wicked grin on her face and Willy looked distinctly flustered and embarrassed. He glanced anxiously around and hissed, “Stop it Marjorie!” He then took her hand away. Marjorie put it straight back.
Sarah gave a scandalized snicker and whispered, “She’s trying hard to get his attention.”
“She’s succeeding,” Tina replied. She was both deeply embarrassed and fascinated. She saw Willy speaking earnestly to Marjorie, who finally removed her hand. From what she could see Tina could tell that Willy
was both embarrassed and aroused.
Sarah then embarrassed her more by adding, “Boys like that.”
“Do they?” Tina replied, trying to sound disinterested, although she blushed fiercely at the thoughts that now raced through her mind. ‘Would Andrew like that? Would I do it to him?’ she wondered. But she knew instantly that she would. ‘And more, if he wanted it,’ she thought. That got her all ashamed and anxious but also excited.
Tina felt so guilty at her hot thoughts that she glanced around. She was horrified to see that Barbara and another Year 9 girl were also watching from the other end of the bookshelf. For a second their eyes met and hot shame flooded through Tina. She hastily turned away and moved back to her books.
As she tried to settle back to her work Tina got all worried and confused about what romance and love might really entail. It was very serious food for thought and she didn’t know whether she was disgusted or excited. After a while she shrugged and told herself that if the man truly loved her and she him then it would all just happen naturally.
At that moment she noted Graham come into the library and she felt another surge of guilty emotions. ‘But who is that man: is he Andrew of Graham?’ Once again she briefly contemplated what it might be like to go on a date with Graham. ‘He will be more hot blooded and earthy,’ she decided. That thought got her aroused and guilty but also made her very curious.
Her hopes for being asked for a date remained high but were not fulfilled. Andrew spoke to her in a friendly way but made no comment about taking her out again. That annoyed Tina and made her feel resentful. So the remainder of Thursday and then Friday slipped by, leaving Tina feeling rejected and frustrated.
Friday night was Navy Cadets. Tina went but it was a dull and depressing event. The numbers on parade were right down because many families had left early for the long weekend. Among these were Andrew and Carmen. The thought of Andrew being in Townsville with the blonde nudist caused Tina to have frequent sharp bouts of jealousy and doubt. She tried to tell herself she was being silly. ‘He may not even see her,’ she thought. Then she imagined Andrew ‘seeing’ her and the hurt was repeated. Even having Sarah chirping happily about their camping holiday was a source of irritation to her. ‘I don’t want to be with Sarah,’ she thought. ‘I want to be with Andrew- or was it with some other boy?’ Graham’s face came to mind and she shook her head in annoyance at her own weak will.
So the Queen’s Birthday long weekend began. That Friday night at home after Cadets Tina felt lonely and miserable and several times became so emotionally fragile that she wanted to cry. ‘Why doesn’t Andrew ask me out? Doesn’t he like me anymore?’ she worried. Anxious doubts about her looks or her mannerisms and personality were crowded out by even worse ides: that she had bad body odour or bad breath. ‘Or maybe his friends think I am a frump and have teased him and he is afraid to be seen with me. There must be something that has turned him off,’ she fretted.
On Saturday morning she packed her camping gear and some food and the family then drove up to Yungaburra to see Aunty Dot. They went via Gordonvale and Mulgrave Valley, then up the winding Gillies Highway. As always Tina enjoyed the change in climate and scenery between the coastal plain and the ‘Tablelands’. But the views of the jungle-covered mountains also brought back sharp memories of the trek over Mt Tiptree and of the mist nets and Danny.
‘I wonder where he is now?’ she mused. The worry was enough to cause her shortness of breath and a tingling sense she knew was fear. ‘Oh, I hope the police catch them soon. I can’t stand much more of this,’ she worried. For a few seconds she wondered if she should be going to join Sarah at Lake Tinaroo. ‘That is just at the base of the Lamb Range,’ she thought. But then she shook her head. ‘No, he will be far away by now.’
At least she hoped so but the fear stayed with her as a nagging ache in the back of her consciousness and took the edge off her enjoyment of the drive and of meeting her aunt. She thought Aunty Ida was a dear old soul and was always touched by her obvious gentleness and love. That brought her anxiety into sharper focus and left her puzzling over how some people could be so evil.
After lunch and a long talk they said farewell to Aunty Ida and set off to take Tina to Fongon Bay. This meant driving back along the Gillies and as the Lamb Range was clearly visible away off to the left Tina was again beset by anxieties. She tried to work out if she could see Mt Tiptree but reasoned she could not as it was north of the range. But she thought she could detect the sharp little peak of Mt Edith at the eastern end of the mountains.
At Mt Nomico they turned left onto the Danbulla Forest Drive and Tina became even more anxious as now they were heading towards the Lamb Range. At first she did not feel more than a general anxiety but after the first few kilometres of open farm land when the road entered dense tropical rainforest she became progressively more upset. This was exacerbated by a feeling of claustrophobia as the road wound its way through a gloomy tunnel with the tree canopies meeting overhead.
She became so anxious she started to hyperventilate and found she was sitting on the edge of her seat and gripping the seat belt tightly. Several times she tried to pluck up the courage to ask her parents not to keep going but she couldn’t. ‘I don’t want to worry them,’ she told herself.
But her mother noticed and said, “You are very pale dearie. Is something wrong?”
Tina sucked in air and shook her head. “Just a bit carsick I think,” she replied.
Her mother did not press the issue but Tina could see she was worried. To set her mind at rest she forced herself to chatter brightly about the jungle, the butterflies and the birds. This helped and by the time they crossed Mobo Creek she felt a bit better.
The road wound its way uphill until they came to the Mobo Crater car park. There were no other vehicles there and to Tina’s dismay her father pulled the car in and switched the engine off. “I’ve never seen this,” he said. “It is only a few hundred metres so we can spare the time.”
Tina did not want to go walking in the rainforest, not even with her own mother and father to protect her, but she could see that the others were happy and enjoying the expedition so she kept silent and followed. Garth set off at the run down the path and then her father and mother. Tina came last. The path was mostly steps down a steep slope and the rainforest was quite open compared to some she had experienced but it was still enough to give her a hemmed-in feeling.
As she walked down the path she kept getting glimpses of the others ahead and could hear their happy voices but she knew she wasn’t enjoying it. ‘I don’t like rainforest,’ she decided. But she kept walking, anxious not to be left on her own.
But she was and she almost tripped and fell in her anxious hurry to catch up. She began to get prickling sensations up her back and that got her glancing over her shoulder to check that she wasn’t being followed. ‘This is stupid! I’m being paranoid,’ she told herself. But it was one thing to try to be reasonable and quite another to control her emotions. Flashbacks of Danny and the mist nets did not help and she found herself looking through the trees for mist nets.
When she reached the bottom of the steps she found she was beside a small creek but still out of sight of her family. Even their voices were dulled by the roar of a waterfall and the noises of the creek. She knew it was a beautiful place and that she should ordinarily have enjoyed being there but even the sight of a flight of brightly coloured parrots did not move her.
Suddenly she could take it no longer and tears misted her eyes. Unable to see clearly she stopped and grabbed at a tree to keep her balance. For a minute or so she shook with sobs, her whole body shaking and shivering. But even in that situation she did not want to make her parents anxious so she began gulping the cool mountain air and wiping the tears with her sleeve.
But she was not quick enough. Her mother appeared, hurrying back around the bend in the track. When she saw Tina’s state she hurried over and hugged her. “Are you alright Ti? Oh you poor dear! What’s the
matter? Is it those men?”
This time Tina really broke down. “Y..Y.. Y.. Yes,” she blubbered. She clung to her mother as she was wracked by sobbing.
Her father reappeared and joined in trying to comfort her. To both of them Tina blubbered out her fears. That helped and she slowly calmed down and the teras stopped. After a time she steadied her breathing. Her mother said, “You are safe little Ti. Do you want to go home?”
Tina did but she also did not want to let Sarah down. “I do,” she replied as she wiped her face, “But Sarah is expecting us. I will be alright.”
“You are sure?” her mother asked anxiously.
“Yes mum. Anyway, we will be sailing and canoeing so it should be fine,” Tina assured her. By then Garth had rejoined them and she did not want to endure his scorn so she knelt and rinsed her face from the crystal clear water of the creek beside the track. The water was ice cold and the shock helped. She managed a sickly grin and started walking.
Garth ran on ahead and her parents followed, their heads together as they anxiously discussed her condition. Tina half expected them to over-rule her decision but they accepted it and tried to act normally as they visited the pool in the crater at the bottom. Then they walked back up to the car. Tina was anxious lest the men arrive and she knew such thoughts were silly. Even so she was very glad to be back in the car.
They drove on up the winding forest road for another five kilometres, until it began to descend. At a very sharp bend back to the right she noted a gate and a side road off to the left. For a moment she wondered where it went. The main road then wound down a steep hill side and came out in pine forest with clearings. They passed the old brick chimneys and then the car park at Lake Euramo. Here they again stopped but there was no jungle path. They stood at the lookout and were unimpressed. It was a small ‘crater’ lake but was hard to see because of the surrounding vegetation and it looked to be half filled with reeds. It was certainly a poor relation to the big crater lakes of Barrine and Eacham.
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