“I just say a few words, we hold hands and that’s it.”
“Are we casting a spell, an incantation? I mean, is this some form of witchcraft? Blaine, we don’t want to damn our souls to hell.”
Chance looked at me. “I don’t care what it means. If it will give us a chance at a life together I’ll take it.”
Blaine looked first at Chance, then back toward me “Michelle, you don’t have to worry. It’s nothing that drastic. It’s barely more than the promise you made Jeremy give.”
“Okay, let’s hear it,” I said suspiciously.
“We hold hands and say, ‘I pledge here and now, always and forever, my love to the two souls gathered here with me. My soul will know your souls from the moment of rebirth and will seek out no other. My soul will wait and only your souls will make me whole. This I vow through all eternity.’”
“I can do that,” I said to Blaine. He repeated the words. Chance and I repeated them with him. Chance’s hand tightened on mine.
When we were done the three of us embraced until Blaine’s arms fell away. Chance and I stood alone embracing and vowing in a whisper once again to each other that we would wait for our time.
“Blaine, I thought…”
“Yeah, I know what you thought.” He grinned at me. “I may be a psychic, but I’m also human. I wanted you to remain with Chance, but I saw that there was a strong possibility that you wouldn’t.”
He touched Chance’s arm where he had the bracelets, then touched the locket around Chance’s neck. “I took out a little insurance, just in case.” This time he laughed out loud. “So Michelle, am I now a great psychic?”
“You’re the best.” I reached my arms out to him to bring him back into our circle. “Blaine, I’m so glad we found you.”
“So am I, Mother,” I heard him whisper into my hair as he embraced me. “So am I.”
Chapter Seventeen
Larry packed the small bag he used for overnight trips. He threw the items in haphazardly, not caring that they would be wrinkled when he needed them.
He surveyed the mess in his bag before deciding to dump everything and start all over. Damn, how hard could it be? He’d watched as Mick had packed his bags a thousand times. She’d always made it look so easy.
He felt the now familiar stab of pain run from his heart down his shoulder into his arms as well as an unbearable weight pressing down on his chest.
Larry had mentioned to several of his friends the physical discomfort he was having. They all assured him that it was stress from…from… He couldn’t even think it.
God in heaven, Mick was gone, had left him. Why the hell wouldn’t he be stressed? Even now he could hear her voice prattling around in his head, saying, “Larry, do any of your friends have a medical degree? Stop being a baby and go see a doctor.
Well, he was through listening to her. Instead, he chose to believe his friends. The only time he ever felt the pain was when he was thinking about Mick, like now.
Just the night before, he’d felt the pain even stronger than now. He’d been arguing with the counselor he’d decided he needed to deal with the stress.
Actually it hadn’t been so much him deciding he needed it as it had been Derrick. When Mick left, he’d refused to allow the kids to come back. He’d packed all their bags and put them out in the drive.
Derrick had called him several times telling him that they were all worried about him, that maybe it would be a good idea if he got some help.
He could clearly remember his son’s words. ‘Dad, you don’t have to agree with Mom to go for counseling. It’s obvious you’re miserable without her. Think about it. Maybe you can still save your marriage.
Larry had listened to his son, but saving his marriage wasn’t what finally pushed him to get, he hated the word, help. He only needed an avenue to vent. He had gone on the slim chance that talking would stop the crushing pain to his chest.
It hadn’t. He was the one paying the money and the therapist was siding with Mick. He couldn’t believe the woman had the gall to tell him that his wife was probably right, that the odds were that he didn’t listen. She’d even had the nerve to tell him that most of the entire male population didn’t listen, that they heard only what they wanted to hear.
The woman had to be an idiot. She knew damn well he was an attorney. He could sue her ass for sexual discrimination. He wondered if she ever gave her female clients the load of bull she was giving him.
That’s when he’d made his decision. He was not going to just lie down and play dead. He was going to that hotel and he was bringing his wife home.
If it wasn’t for the trip he would be headed over there now, but the trip was important. Tomorrow night he would go to the hotel and bring her home.
Her even being in a hotel angered him. He popped several antacids in his mouth. It was taking more and more of them to dull the pain now.
He couldn’t believe Mick had not told him where she was staying. If he’d not checked the caller ID to see if she’d called when he was out, he wouldn’t have known.
There had been only one call from a hotel, the one that came the day after Mick left. He remembered answering the phone and telling Erica to leave him alone.
He hadn’t known it was Mick, but he was glad he’d not talked to her in that moment. He was hurting far too much.
Larry took another look at the jumbled mess on his bed. He wanted to be angry with Mick. God, how he wanted to be angry with her.
But more than that, he wanted to find a way to repair the damage. He wanted to learn how to listen.
Our time together was drawing to a close. I’d fallen asleep for a little while and had awakened to hear Blaine and Chance talking softly in the other room.
I remained still, wondering why they had chosen not to wake me. This time was for the three of us. They knew that when the morning came I would leave.
“You have to let her go,” I heard Blaine saying to Chance. “I’ll help you get through this.”
“I don’t think you can. I keep having these awful thoughts, wishing that something would happen to Larry.”
“Don’t,” Blaine said, “that’s very bad karma.”
“I know. Besides, I don’t mean it. I just don’t want her to leave.”
I wished I had not eavesdropped on their conversation. I made some noise to alert them that I was awake and heard the immediate shift in conversation as I got up from the sofa and went to join them. I would not mention what I’d heard.
“So why did you two let me sleep?” I glanced at the clock. Six hours and it would be over.
“You were tired,” Blaine said. “Besides, you didn’t really sleep that long.”
I noticed that Chance wouldn’t look in my direction. He stared out the window into the darkness, his face giving nothing away.
I went and knelt beside Blaine. “How clear are your regression memories?”
“Very clear.”
I had wanted to ask him a question for weeks, but had been unable to.
“Can you tell me what kind of life you had, if…if you were happy?” I glanced toward Chance and Blaine did likewise.
“I have several images of me playing as a child and feeling extremely loved by my father.” He looked again at Chance.
That was what I needed to know, that Jeremy had found it in his heart to love the child that he and Dimitra had created. “Good. I’m glad to hear that.”
Chance turned then, eyeing me with curiosity. “Did I ever break a promise to you, Dimi?” he asked.
It was the first time he’d called me Dimi in front of Blaine. When he used that name I was instantly back in the past.
“That’s not it. I just wanted to know.”
“You wanted to know if I was able to love our son. He was the only part of you that I had left. I worshipped him.”
Chance’s demeanor metamorphosed. I knew he was also in the past remembering.
“I was loved,” Blaine interrupted us, “but there
was a constant sadness that permeated our home. My father talked to me constantly about my mother. He lived only to see me to adulthood so that he could join her.”
Chance and Blaine exchanged glances. “I adored my father and was in almost as much agony as he over the loss of my mother. The moment my father thought I could sufficiently care for myself, he called me calmly to his side, lay down on his bed, told me he loved me and that he was now going to find my mother.
“He was not ill,” Blaine continued. “He had a long life ahead of him. He willed himself to die. Being without one parent was hell. To lose them both was unbearable.”
Blaine stood and walked over to Chance. “I hope I never have to go through that again.”
I watched while father and son participated in a silent communication. Blaine would see to it that Chance would make it through.
The rest of our time together went so fast that it was almost as if we’d just begun. We each wore the jewelry Blaine had bought for us, for seven hours each. Then our twenty-four hours were up. It was noon. In unison, the three of us turned toward the grandfather clock as it chimed out the end of our time together.
“Dimi, I know I have to let you go. I know what the vision means, but it’s so damn hard.”
I watched Chance through the tears in my eyes. He was trying so hard to be brave, but the look of betrayal on his face remained.
“Dimi, give me just a few more hours, please. The time went by so fast.” He attempted to smile. “Surely a few more hours will not affect our future.”
“What are we having for lunch?” I asked. The time was up, but I wasn’t ready. I wanted more and like Chance, I wondered what it would hurt. I was more than willing to take a few more hours for this family I’d found.
Without missing a beat Blaine answered, “Anything you want for lunch you can have.”
For the next several hours we talked, laughed, told stories, everything we could think of to put a lifetime of living in such a short amount of time.
It seemed only minutes later that the clock was striking seven P.m. It seemed impossible for that much time to have passed.
It was time for me to leave. I’d gone way past the agreed upon twenty-four hours. I stood at last, smiling at them and walked over to the box containing my chair.
“Chance, I don’t have anywhere…”
Blaine stopped me. “I’ll keep it until you…” He glanced at Chance. “Until you find a place to live.” No one wanted to admit that in time I would be going home. No, it would not be tonight, or tomorrow, but it would happen.
I walked toward the door not wanting to touch either of them, no last embrace, no hugs, just yank, the same way you did with bandages to make it quick and painless.
“Don’t lose any more weight,” Chance called out softly to me.
“I didn’t think you noticed,” I answered without turning around.
“I noticed.”
I willed my body to keep moving toward the door, but it refused to obey. My head swiveled around. Chance was standing there watching me. I saw the agony in his eyes, the same agony I’d seen in Jeremy when Dimitra was about to die.
“Don’t come outside,” I whispered to him before running out the door and to my car. It was over, done. I felt like hell, yet there was a knowing that what I was doing was right.
I surprised myself that I was able to drive to the hotel without bawling like a baby. The constant threat of tears I kept away by ordering up the images of Larry and Erica as an infant. That moment in time was the reason I was able to sever my love for Chance. I had to complete my life as it was meant to be.
An hour later I lay on the bed numb from the emotional havoc I’d put my body through. I knew that I should begin making plans for home, but I couldn’t think.
I didn’t know how to get Larry to listen to me when he never had. But I knew I wasn’t as ready as I thought to give up on him, on us. I would have to find a way, just not now. I was too tired.
I heard a knock on the door and a voice calling my name. I opened the door to Chance.
How was I to ever end this if I kept seeing him? Didn’t he know it was hard enough to leave him? Didn’t he have any idea what he was doing to me? I looked in his eyes. Didn’t he know he was prolonging his own pain?
Chance came into the room closing the door behind him. “I forgot to give you this.” He held out a small package. I took it, opened the bag and took out the tape. It was Stevie Wonder.
“It’s the only song I know that says I’ll love you for a million years.’” Chance’s voice broke. “I will, Dimi, I’ll love you for a million years.”
“Chance,” I moaned, “don’t.”
It was too late. I was in his arms holding him, knowing we’d already had too many last hugs, last embraces, and last kisses.
Still I clung to him, feeling his lips, tasting him, loving him. He kissed me softly, slowly, deeply, not with the fevered pitch of passion, but like a man trying to fill his senses with what he was losing.
He was the one who broke away. “I had to hold you one last time.”
“I know,” I answered. I ran my hands over his face, over the long strands of his hair that he’d allowed to grow. “I know.”
He backed out of the room leaving me there in tears. I fell on the bed. This was never meant to happen. I should not have met Chance, not known that he existed in my heart, or was connected to my soul. I lay there with my heart breaking.
When a second knock sounded on my door less than twenty minutes later, I could take no more. He was killing me.
“Chance, no,” I said while opening the door.
It was Larry.
“Larry,” I sputtered. “Larry, what are you doing here?”
He came into the room, his face red, a scowl deepening what had been a smile when I first opened the door.
“You didn’t leave me for him, Mick?”
“Larry, this isn’t what you’re thinking. I know what I said makes it look bad but I promise you there’s a good explanation.”
“How do you know what it looks like to me? I come into your room, the room of my wife, and…” He looked up at me.
“You’ve been crying. You thought I was him. You sure as hell didn’t think it was me. I heard you call his name. Now please tell me what it looks like.”
“Larry, I didn’t know you were coming.”
He laughed a harsh angry sound. “You didn’t know that I was coming. I’m sorry. Forgive me if I didn’t make an appointment.”
I saw him looking around the room. I knew he was looking for evidence that I’d just made love. God, I was grateful I had my clothes on. Still, that didn’t seem to matter to Larry.
“How many more have there been, Mick, how many men?”
“Larry, listen to me, please. There’s never been anyone else. I’ve tried to tell you. This wouldn’t have happened except with Chance, only with him.”
Larry was advancing toward me. “You think that’s going to make me feel better?”
“I know him, Larry. I was married to him.” Larry swept the glasses off the small table.
“Stop it, Mick, I don’t want to hear this nonsense. Do you think you’re the only one who’s been hit on since we got married? Do you think that you’re the only woman I could have slept with?
“There have been dozens of women, dozens of them, who have come on to me, who wanted to go to bed with me. I said no. I was never tempted, not once.
“I thought I was married to the most wonderful woman in the world. We’d made promises to each other, promises to love each other always. Not once, Mick. Not one damn time did I ever think of cheating on you.”
“I was married to him, Larry.”
Now that excuse sounded crazy even to me, but it was the truth.
“I don’t care,” Larry shouted, his voice getting louder and louder. “I’m only interested in this life here and now, our life. In this life, you’re married to me, not him. Me, Mick. And what you did is called adulte
ry in this time period. You’ve been whoring around and I’m expected to accept it, to say, ‘Oh well, he’s my wife’s husband from her past life.’
“That’s bullshit, Mick. That’s bullshit and you and I both know it. If I’d given you this load of crap, you would have filed for divorce before the words were out of my mouth.”
Larry stopped. There was that damn pain again. He looked at his wife. His Mick. He’d come there with such hopes, only to have them dashed in his face. He wasn’t the one she wanted, the one she’d been waiting for. She’d been waiting for Chance. He’d heard her clearly.
For a moment the words froze in his throat. He could think only of the pain that was rapidly enveloping his entire body.
He was fighting for every breath, his jaw tightening now as never before. The elephant was back sitting on his chest, only this time he had brought a trainload of friends.
He gasped, saw the instant concern cross Mick’s face. Oh God no. This wasn’t supposed to happen. The last thing he wanted was for her to see him have a stress attack.
The pain increased, bringing him to his knees. Damn, Larry thought, this is not a stress attack, this is the real deal. I’m having a heart attack. Another wave of pain shot through him with the speed of a bullet ripping through flesh. He fell and his world went black.
One minute Larry was standing in front of me. The next, something was happening to him. I saw him pause in front of me, his mouth opening and closing, no words coming out. I watched his red angry face suddenly turn a pasty gray. I saw him clutch his chest a second before he fell to the floor.
“Larry,” I screamed out at him, dropping to my knees beside him. “Oh God, Larry. It wasn’t what you thought. I was coming home. I love you.”
THE AFFAIR Page 27