His daughter was glaring daggers at him as well as looking over his shoulder at her mother. “Where did you learn to be this way?”
Erica started crying, covering her face with her hands, a move that for over twenty-three years had always managed to bring him to his knees. “It won’t work this time, Erica.”
Instantly the tears stopped. Larry felt the touch of Mick’s fingers on his back, urging him to return to the bed.
“Don’t, Larry, don’t worry about it. It’s not worth it to get you this worked up.”
He turned from Erica to face Mick. “It’s worth it. If I die in the next moment it’s worth it. I should have done this a long time ago.” He looked at Mick, then at the hospital bed.
“I can’t believe I never saw it. This is what it took to open my eyes?” he whispered in amazement. “I’m sorry, Mick.”
“Why are you apologizing to her? What about me? You asked me to leave. Aren’t you going to say you’re sorry, Daddy?” Erica wailed as though she were still a child.
“No,” Larry said forcefully. “I meant every word. Go home all of you, to your own homes. And if you can’t give your mother the respect she deserves, don’t bother coming back.”
Before anyone had an opportunity to respond, Dr. Chance Morgan came back into the room, accompanied by two nurses.
“What’s all the commotion?” he asked. Larry observed the man’s eyes scanning the room for Mick.
She’d seen it too. She glanced quickly up at him and shook her head no.
Larry watched the two of them. The doctor evidently thought Mick was in some danger. His movements quickly took him to her side.
He glared at everyone in the room with the exception of Mick. When his eyes came to rest on Larry this time there was no guilt. There was only anger.
“She loves you, you know,” he said to Larry between clenched teeth, before turning directly to Mick and ignoring the fact that his staff was watching him, as well as Larry and his entire family.
“You don’t have to do this, Michelle.”
Larry turned as if in slow motion toward Mick, hearing her answer to Dr. Morgan.
“I’m not doing this because I have to. It’s what I want. I love my husband and I want to be with him.”
For about the space of a breath Larry wanted to throw the good doctor out on his white coated ass. He remembered his prayer.
He wanted to make it up to his wife for all the years of pain. He might not be able to give her the fantasy childhood he’d thought she had, but he could give her a new start. He could free her so she could find the happiness she didn’t have with him, with Chance, the man who loved her as much as he did.
He would never have thought it possible that anyone could love his wife as much as he did, but the protective stance the doctor had taken against him and his entire family told the story.
There was so much love and longing in the man’s eyes that Larry knew instantly what he was going to do. He was going to release Mick from her promise.
He loved her enough to want her to be happy. She was right. He did have a lot of baggage he hadn’t dealt with. It might take him the rest of his life to settle it.
He didn’t want Mick to go through any more. No more, he thought. Now he wanted her to be happy. But this would be something they would do alone, not here now in front of everyone. It was none of their business.
“Chance, I’m all right. Go.” Mick’s hand was on the man’s sleeve tugging, urging him toward the door. It was obvious he didn’t want to leave her.
Larry watched her eyes fill with tears. He’d made the right decision. She loved him too. He could see it, had seen it several hours ago.
Chance left reluctantly, taking the nurses with him while seven pairs of eyes stared at his back as he walked away.
“See, Daddy, what did I tell you?” came Erica’s smug voice.
It would have been obvious to a blind man that the doctor was the one Mick was involved with. His children were adults and they were by no means blind or deaf. Mick had called him by name.
“Erica, shut the hell up. Like I told you before, my marriage is none of your damn business.”
He watched his daughter’s face color with anger. He glanced over at Derrick, who was trying hard not to smile. Larry smiled at him instead. His son gave him some kind of hand signal that told Larry he approved. So it seemed everyone had seen but him.
“Listen,” he began, his eyes first on his son, then on each of his other children. “I do appreciate your coming, your being here for your mother when she needed you.” He saw Beth and Brigid swallow but ignored it and continued.
“I didn’t have a heart attack. The doctor said I’m going to be just fine. They want to keep me here for a couple more days just to be sure. I know you guys have come a long way, and I know you’re tired. So go to the house now.”
He’d purposefully not said for them to go home. Mick was right about that also. It was no longer their home. They’d each made homes for themselves elsewhere. They’d always be welcome, but it was no longer their home.
“I think it best that you all give me some time to rest. Go now, get some sleep and leave tomorrow. I’ll call all of you in a few days.”
One by one he embraced his children. Erica, stiff and cold, barely touched her cheek to his. He noticed that the others came to their mother and hugged her close to them before leaving. He heard Mick tell Shannon, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him.”
This time he would take care of her. Still, there was time before he told her that. Several minutes after the children left, Mick smiled shyly at him.
“Since you want to rest, I guess I’ll go too.”
“I didn’t mean you, Mick. Unless you’re tired,” he amended. “I want you to stay.”
I sat staring tongue-tied at my own husband. He was smiling at me in that way he had that told me in no uncertain terms that I was very special to him. It had been so long since he’d looked at me that way.
His eyes were glowing with love. I looked at him and he literally took my breath away. I became aware of the slight tingling at the base of my spine. Oh my God, my husband of over twenty-six years was taking my breath away, making me tingle and reminding me why I fell in love with him in the first place. I couldn’t believe it.
Larry hadn’t looked at me in that particular way in almost a year. And I hadn’t felt this way about him in just as long.
Since Viola, I realized with a start. So I hadn’t lied to spare Larry’s feelings and I wasn’t deluding myself. This hadn’t been about Chance.
I held my breath as Larry caressed my hand. I was waiting for him to tell me that he wanted us to try again. He had to. His touch, his eyes, told me how very much he loved me, wanted me. I sat patiently and waited to hear the words.
“I release you.”
I blinked. “What did you say?” I asked, my tongue barely able to move.
“I said I release you, Mick.”
He was talking calmly, massaging my hands, bringing them to his lips, kissing them tenderly.
“Larry, I don’t understand.”
He smiled at me indulgently, as though I were a child and he wanted to explain something really bad by smiling, as if that would take away the horrendous pain.
“Mick, I made you give me a promise when I proposed to you. It wasn’t fair. But I thank you for giving it, for honoring it until you no longer could.”
“Larry,” I started, but he stopped me.
“No, Mick, it’s alright. I’m not angry at you. In fact, I probably love you more at this moment that I ever have before.”
“Then why?”
“Because I don’t want you living out the rest of your life because of a promise. I don’t want us together because of one, so I’m releasing you from it.”
“Larry…”
“No, Mick, I’ve made up my mind. I think I’m beginning to believe you…you know, about you and Chance and a past life. He loves you too much for it to be on
ly a few months.”
I couldn’t believe what was happening. No, I didn’t expect Larry and me to just walk away arm in arm and for Larry to just forgive me.
But this, Larry giving me away? What the hell was wrong with him? I thought of the look that had passed between Larry and Chance when they’d held their mental pissing contest. Was I the prize in their macho game?
“Larry, you have no right. You can’t keep making decisions for my life. It’s up to me who I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
“You’re right. You decide on who and what you want, and so do I. I wanted to tell you, I believe now that a person can will themselves to die. It’s beginning to look as though that’s what I did.”
I looked at him grateful that he’d finally heard me. “Don’t do this, Larry.”
“Tell me you don’t still love him, Mick, tell me that. Tell me he doesn’t love you. I saw the way he looked at you, the way you looked at him.”
I fell silent, pulling my hands away from Larry. He brought them back.
“We’ve been together twenty-eight years, twenty-six of them married. I don’t think that’s so bad, do you? Lots of people don’t make it that long.”
I was sobbing as I stared at my husband who was trying so hard to be brave, believing that sending me away was the right thing to do. I knew it wasn’t. I wanted to, needed to plead with him to change his mind.
“Larry, it doesn’t matter what you do. It’s over between me and Chance.”
“Your seeing each other might be over, your love isn’t. It is your choice, Mick, like you said. I’m only telling you that I’ll understand. He loves you and you love him and as someone else who loves you with all his heart, I’m hoping you’ll go to Dr. Morgan and be happy.”
I had to try again. “Honey, you’ve been through a lot. You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Mick. My heart stopped working and my brain begin to function. I know exactly what I’m saying.”
“What about us, Larry?”
“I’m hoping we can be friends in time. But I will need time, Mick.”
“What about when you go home? What if something happens to you?”
“What if it does, Mick? Then it does.”
For several more minutes I attempted to change Larry’s mind. I noticed that the now re-hooked machine was beginning to sound an alarming noise.
I decided to stop. At least Larry had said we could be friends. I could only hope that he meant that. In time he’d see that I did want him.
I sat beside him feeling an ache in my heart. God, I did want to be with my husband. I wanted to spend the rest of this life loving him. I wanted us to be like kids and demand a do-over.
Three days later Larry left the hospital alone, not even allowing me to accompany him home. He’d stayed an extra day until the children had all returned to their homes. He said he needed time alone. Surprisingly, the doctor and the insurance company had agreed.
As he stood outside the hospital about to get into the cab, he held me in his arms and I held on to him tightly. “Larry, let me come with you.”
He pulled away and smiled. “No.”
“You said we could remain friends.”
“I also said I needed some time.”
“Can we have dinner?” I asked, grabbing at anything, just something to hold on to.
“Call me, but give me a couple of weeks, okay?” He kissed my lips gently and got into the cab and rode away.
I stood there staring after him, knowing how he’d felt when I’d driven away from our home just a few short weeks ago. That old saying was right. Payback is a Bitch.
“Blaine, you’re absolutely no help.” I wrung my hands in disgust. “You claim to be a psychic, so tell me. Is Larry ever going to forgive me?”
It had been almost a month since Larry had left the hospital. I’d called him three times and each time, he’d said it hadn’t been long enough, that he needed more time.
He was friendly, but not willing to see me, asking me instead to respect his wishes. So I did. But I was making a pest of myself with Blaine, wanting him to look into my future and tell me what he saw.
“Michelle, you’re the one who’s been married to Larry for more than a quarter of a century. What do you think?”
“Oh, so here we go again, back to the games?”
He actually had the nerve to laugh at me before he came to where I was standing.
“Come on, Michelle, what does your heart tell you? Use your instincts.”
“I don’t want to. I want you to read your tarot cards or read my palms. Whatever you have to do, do it. I don’t give a damn if you conjure up the dead.”
“Temper, temper,” he smiled. “The dead can get mighty testy. Listen, I’m not going to do it. I didn’t do it for Chance and I’m not going to do it for you.”
“Chance asked you about me and Larry?”
“Yes, and that’s all I’m saying on that subject also.”
“Blaine, you know you’re not any help at all, don’t you?” I looked at him and glared, miffed that he might possibly have the information I sought and not give it to me.
“Okay, Michelle, what do you want me to say?”
“Tell me he’s going to give in eventually.”
“I’ll tell you that he loves you so much that he didn’t want to live without you.”
“Yeah, that I already know, except now it seems he’s finding a way to do that.” I flicked my hair behind my ears feeling a little annoyed with Blaine and with Larry.
“He tried to give me away. Did I tell you that?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe about a thousand times.”
I glanced at Blaine. “Are you getting sick of me?”
“I’m getting sick of your pissing around. You know the answers to your questions and you’re doing nothing to find them.”
I was a bit taken aback. It was the first time Blaine had ever spoken to me in that tone of voice.
“I’ve done everything I could think of,” I told him. “What else am I supposed to do?”
“If you don’t know, don’t ask me,” Blaine replied and turned his back on me.
“Keep your information, Blaine. I don’t need it. I’m going home. I have a key and I’m moving back in.” I stalked angrily toward the door.
Blaine’s voice stopped me. “I told you that you knew the answer.”
I stood for a long moment staring at him, blinking in total surprise. Of course. He was right. It was what I should have done weeks before. I gave Blaine a quick hug and hurried out to my car to go home.
I pulled into my drive, trepidation filling my heart. I’d not been home in almost two months. I took time to look around, knowing I was stalling for time. It was now or never, I thought as I got out and walked toward the door.
I spotted Larry’s car in the garage a second before I began to dig in my purse for the key to my home. I stuck it in and held my breath as I turned it.
I twisted the knob, nothing. I brought the key away and looked at it. Again I inserted it and this time I shoved at the door with quite a bit more force. Again nothing.
I must have tried my key a dozen times before a light went off in my befuddled brain. Larry had changed the locks. Maybe I’d made a mistake after all. Maybe he didn’t want me back.
I thought to turn and leave, but I’d come this far. I wasn’t leaving without seeing my husband. I rang the bell and waited.
Larry answered, a look of surprise on his handsome face. He smiled warmly at me. As he stared at me his smile grew even wider. I held out the key toward him, my body trembling in anticipation.
“My key didn’t work,” I said.
“I changed the locks.”
“I thought it was something like that,” I mumbled stupidly, “you know, that you changed the locks or something.” God, I sounded dumb.
“Come on in, Mick.”
“So why did you?” I pointed toward the door. “You know,
why did you…?”
“I thought it was about time I made some changes in my own life. This time there are only two sets of keys to the locks.”
I looked at him biting my lips, not knowing how to handle this. I felt awkward, but there was warmth in Larry’s eyes and in his voice. He was glad to see me. I wasn’t mistaken about that.
“You know, Mick, I’m a slow study. It took me twenty-six years to hear you. I waited until it was too late, but finally I did. I want you to know that. I did hear you, Mick.”
“It’s not too late, Larry,” I whispered.
I looked at my husband, trying hard to remember the exact words I’d spoken to him when we first met. “Let’s start over,” I said as I walked closer to him.
I stopped inches from him and looked up at him. “Hi, my name’s Michelle. My God, you have the most beautiful eyes.”
Larry looked at me. Then his gaze fell to the floor before coming back to rest on my face. His eyes were filled with tears.
“Do you still love him?”
“Yes, I have no control over that. He’s a part of me. He’s a part of my past. But I love you too. And you’re the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
“Not because of any promise?” Larry said, his voice breaking.
“Not because of any promise,” I answered, my own voice breaking as well.
“Not because of your sense of commitment?” he almost whispered.
THE AFFAIR Page 31